TRACY’S BRILLIANT SCHEME

Vernon has a hangover. Liz helpfully offers to pull the van around so they can go to the market together. Steve helpfully taps the high hat on the drum kit. Vernon cringes.

Tracy still can’t see why they’re selling the house in favour of staying in the little flat, but Charlie is not so easily moved. “You want to live here, fine,” says Charlie, “Put in an offer.”

Meanwhile, Ken and Dierdre make a big deal about wanting to talk to Tracy about something very important. At first you think it’s going to get good, like maybe they’re actually going to disown her. But they’re just worried about what they witnessed in the pub. They want to know what’s going on in her life.

Tracy dismisses them. She and Charlie are fine, “especially now that fat cow is gone,” referring to Shelley. She knows that Charlie loves her. Ken and Dierdre offer her their usual support, though Deirdre clearly doesn’t trust the whole thing.

However, at the pub, she has a slight change of heart. Even though Tracy is hard to live with, Charlie did let her move in and Amy, too. He must want them there. Otherwise he would have thrown them out by now.

Ken is unconvinced. He thinks Charlie just likes making people miserable. They ask Violet what really happened between Charlie and Shelley but all she’ll say is that there is only one person who can make Shelley as upset as she was.

Tracy tries to get Steve on her side. He doesn’t want his daughter growing up in a poky little flat, right? When Steve says he is surprised she and Charlie are still on, what with the whole Shelley thing, it sparks an idea for Tracy. “I’m gonna tell Charlie that I don’t believe a word of what he’s saying about him and Shelley and what’s more, I never will until he lets us move into that house! Brilliant!”

Um, history shows Tracy’s no match for Charlie in the scheming department. Will this be the time she emerges triumphant?

YOU PARKED IT WHERE?

Fred wants to take Bev out for dinner to cheer her up now that Shelley’s gone so he asks Liz to take Bev’s shift at the pub. She accepts.
“I shall be forever in your debt,” Fred says sincerely.
“Now don’t overdo it.”
“I’m often told that,” he says.

During Liz’s shift, Vernon pops into the pub and asks her where exactly she parked the van. As close to the front door as possible, she replies. He says it’s not there.
“Are you sure you’ve sobered up?” she asks.

He goes out to look again but his van really is gone. So are all his records. Liz may or may not have remembered to lock it and now everything is lost, a fact that she bemoans out on the street where the van used to be.

Y’know, I’ve heard a rumor that this Vernon character sticks around. I thought he was irritating at first, but after this episode I kind of like him.

Frankie continues to have a short fuse with Nathan. She wants to revisit his paint choices in the bedroom and asks him ’round at lunch to talk about it. Instead she finds him having lunch at the Rovers’. He says he just wanted to relax and think about nothing. Frankie is not happy.

BABIES HAVING BABIES

Ashley throws yet another whiny fit. He doesn’t want Matt Ramsden in his house. Fred reminds him that Joshua can hear everything and Ashley replies that he’s going to hear it anyway. Claire rightfully drags his petulant, childish arse into the garden, where he shushes her in front of Charlie and Jason because it’s okay if you scream in front of your kid but not in front of your neighbours.

At the pub, Diggory gives the last of his fresh loaves to Fred. Fred gives him a drink on the house, then departs with Bev, meaning he’s about to miss all of the excitement….

Ramsden is a bit late so naturally Ashley is throwing another red-faced fit, ready to pull the plug on the whole thing. He doesn’t know whether to stay in the house for the visit or not. When the bell finally rings, he hollers that he’s not having Matt in his house.

But when Matt agrees to let Ashley explain things to Josh on his own terms, Ashley lets him in. Ashley introduces him as Matt to little Josh, who runs off to fetch his favourite book.

As Matt reads to Joshua, Claire and Ashley look on from the back garden. Claire says she’s proud of Ashley for doing the right thing by giving in. She knows how hard it was for him. Ashley even jokes that maybe if Josh keeps him reading for the next two hours, Matt won’t bother coming ever again.

Claire isn’t feeling very well. She decides to lie down. But just as Matt’s leaving, she descends from her room saying her waters have broken. Matt asks about contractions and it’s clear she’s already quite far along. Matt offers to have a look, which sends Ashley over the top. He refuses to let Matt help and calls for an ambulance.

Claire progresses rapidly, feeling like she has to push, and Matt asks Ashley to put his personal feelings aside and remember that he is a doctor first and foremost. But asking Ashley to put his feelings aside is like asking him to stop breathing. Claire begs Ashley to let Matt help. “Please!” she gasps desperately.