Corrie Canuck

The episode in which much bitchiness prevails.

The Fat Bitch

The madness continues at the Morton household with the departure of Jodie for the region of the Thames and Darryl being away on holiday. Jerry is at his wit’s end trying to manage the kids and the kebab shop on his own and ends up being a bitch to Eileen when she comes by for a visit, who needless to say is unimpressed with his behaviour.

The Old Bitchory

Molly and Ty bitch at Paul for not cleaning the place up like he said he would before Jack and Vera return from their trip to Blackpool. He promises to give the flat a once over before work but leaves the place a tip. When Jack and Vera do return they find their beloved home in a right state and bitch about the mess and the fact that there is no milk in the fridge for their brew.

The Crazy Bitch

There are two of them really in this house, David and Gail. David and Jason ‘bond’ over a few computer games, talking about Richard Hillman and mental damage and the like, although David is just toying with the loveable yet dimwitted Jason for some as yet unhatched future evil plot. Gail stops in for a minute and overhears some of the conversation and is equally dimwitted enough to believe that David is being sincere with Jason. When Sarah hears what is happening she tries to rush home and put an end to this charade, but is thwarted by Audrey, who is being called by the siren song of the gin bottle at The Rovers.

The Other Crazy Bitch

Claire apologizes to Kevin yet once again for giving him a snog the other night. He says it was nothing but a bit of drunken foolishness. Claire agrees, and comments that he and Sal are so solid that a snog from a ravishing redhead with joyful jubblies should be nothing to worry about. Kev gets an odd look on his face when he ponders how solid things with Sal are these days.

The Boy Bitch

Sean acts like a complete bitch towards Violet when she comes home after a night spent with Jamie. He tells her that he has no choice but to seek legal advice over his rights in regard to the unborn baby that they created together. Sean talks to Marcus later about this matter and Marcus, bless his level head, gives him some good advice, although time will tell if Sean heeds the advice.

Later at the pub Violet tells Jamie that she is so upset with Sean she is unsure if she can continue living under the same roof as him. Jamie suggests she move in with him for a bit, and before you know it they have decided to get a place of their own.

The Young Bitch

The Websters are having a delightful family breakfast when there is a knock on the door. Lee, the new boy toy for Rosie is there to walk her to school but she gives him short shrift and sends him on his way beacuse ’she hasn’t got time for boys’. In the hall at school later Rosie sees Mister Snape and decides to make up with Lee, in a clever ploy to make John jealous, which of course works like a charm. John tells Rosie that she should dump Lee for a variety of reasons, to which Rosie replies ‘You can’t tell me to do anything’. Quality bitch behaviour.

UnderBitch

Fiz makes some bitchy comments at Sal while they are at work.

John comes by the factory later to talk to Sal about the conversation he had with Rosie about her relationship with Lee. Suddenly Sal gets something in her eye* and John stands quite close to her to see if he see what it is. At this moment Fiz and Sean walk in and from their perspective it appears that John and Sal are having a snog. Fiz marches up to the two of them, calls Sally a bitch and gives her a slap.

*The old ’something in my eye’ line was used by Steve just the other day when he was explaining why he cried while watching Pochahantas.

Human League – “Love Action”

I believe this was the song Wiki requested at the jukebox.

The Beautiful South – “You Keep It All In”

This was playing in the Rovers. I used to love these guys.

Hall & Oates – “Maneater”

‘Cause it was part of Mayfairgirl’s theme for last night’s update.

Phil Collins and Philip Bailey – “Easy Lover”

Because, in addition to being a maneater, Doreen is also an easy lover.

Singletons

Single #1 – Lloyd discusses the singles party with Steve at the office of Streetcards. The report is that Chantelle is saving herself for marriage and once she arrived home they found her mother waiting for them at home. Claire says she cannot remember how fit Chantelle was because she was too drunk and apologized for any thing which might have happened which was embarrassing. She admits she made a fool of herself with Kevin. Steve and Lloyd stare at each other wide eyed. Why does she keep admitting this to anyone?

Single #2 – Doris flirts endlessly with Norris. This seems to really get on Rita’s nerves. I ask: why does she care? She rejected Norris. Rita then warns Norris that Doris is a “Maneater” and to watch out. Norris just laughs.

Marrieds

Claire admits to Sally how she kissed Kevin. She was just so happy to see a friendly face. She is ’so sorry”, although Sal can hardly believe her ears. I say – let sleeping dogs lie!

Sal wants to know why Claire is confessing to nothing. Claire says she could not sit there and pretend to be a friend after misbehaving. Sally says she is going to give him such a hard time. Claire lets slip that she is back with Ashley. Sally is thrilled.

Ashley gets Claire a gold necklace that says “Forever”.

At least it isn’t a tattoo.

Cheaters

Rosie manages to find John in his car and tells him that she is going out with Leigh that afternoon. John tells her she can do better. She thinks it is better than staying indoors like some saddo. She offers to text Leigh and cancel the date if John wants to make her a better offer. (Rolls eyes)

She gets in the car.

Babies

Sean is in a sulk at the house, in the pub moaning to Marcus the entire time. Personally, I would give him a good sit down and tell him to smarten up.

Violet gets sick of all the whining and snide comments she finally confronts Sean at the house. He tells her that he wants to be the dad and the baby in her womb is – HIS son. And that he will be going to a solicitor to confirm it.

The Key to Claire’s Heart

Claire and Sally are in the cafe talking about Claire’s plan for the singles night. Women wearing locks will be approached by men with keys to which of them has the key to her heart. Sally thinks it sounds a little sordid and not a little like a 1970’s key party. Claire assures her it’s intended as a ice-breaker. Sally offers to help Claire with her make-up. This causes Becky, who’s been eavesdropping, to burst out laughing.

“I never thought you had a sense of humour, Sal!”

Later that night, Claire is at the singles night, quite drunk, dancing like Elaine Benes, and asking if anyone has the key to her heart. Nobody, apparently, does so she catches us with Lloyd, who is about to leave with Chantal the coroner for some Chinese buffet.

Claire tries dancing some more but decides to call Sally when it’s clear she’s not having a good time. Sally offers Kevin to go pick her up. (Sally is having a lesson with John  Stape and appreciates the chance to be alone).

Kevin finds her at the party as she starts putting herself down as nobody fancied her.

“I am a moose,” she says. “You may as well stick my head on a big wall in ….(wait for it) Canada. Mmmmoooooose head!”

(I swear the writers are just messing with our heads now)

Kevin tells her it’s not true and she’s quite good looking. She responds by kissing him squarely on the lips. Kevin pulls back and suddenly Claire is not as drunk as before and looking quite remorseful.

Kevin drives her home and Claire tries to tell him how she doesn’t fancy him at all. Kevin seems willing to just forget about it but Claire is just making it work.

She stumbles up to her door and, if it wasn’t bad enough that nobody had the key to her heart, Claire can’t even manipulate the key to her house. Ashley lets her in and she collapses in his arms.

They have a long chat about his infidelity and how much she misses him. They seem to making good progress toward a reconcilliation when Claire blurts out that she snogged a guy. Ashley seems understanding until she tells him it was his best mate Kevin. Then she stumbles off upstairs, leaving Ashley thinking, “…the Hell?”

The Role of Baby Daddy Has Been Filled, Thank You

Well, it looks like Violet and Jamie are a couple again. They tell Sean and Marcus the news and Sean is hurt, knowing that his desire to be a proper father to his son will come to naught now that Violet has Jamie in the role of father figure (who sometimes fancies his stepmum).

The news is too much for Sean, who flies out of the Rovers and tells Marcus he wants to be alone.

In Other News

Fizz asks Kevin if, when Sally and John are doing their lessons, are they ever alone. This sends up warning signals in Kevin’s brain that strengthen when, that evening, Sally sends Kevin off to get Claire at the singles night.

Liam has returned from Ireland. He makes like he brought Maria back a crappy pen but gives her a nice bracelet instead.

Before he gives it to her, however, he hands her the box, claiming it’s Irish pornography.

“Lepreporn,” he calls it.

Do you know what I get when I Google “lepreporn”? This totally NSFW post from former Corrie Canuck contributer MJ.

Yeah, like the Streetcars radio conversations Becky picks up on her iPod, I’m convinced the writers are sending us messages.

Okay, so my favourite scene of the evening is Doreen, Rita and Doris kibitzing the the Kabin. Why is it my favourite?

1. We find out that Rita has wicked def Yiddish skillz when she pulls the word ‘schlep’ out of her hat.
2. Doris reveals that he is totally in tune with Gen X when he talks about finishing his Douglas ‘COOP’land novel.

Glacia and John have discussed this scene at length and have come to the conclusion that Corrie is giving a shout out to Canadian Jews everywhere. Perhaps a secret message to William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, my uncle Nate, the spirit of Lorne Green and Mr. Glacia?

To be sure I ran the video tape backwards and this is what I got, ‘Stay away from the Maple Leaf deli meats.’

Sean, Marcus, Jamie, Violet and Baby Makes 5

Violet invites Jamie to the back of the pub for a chat while she’s on her break. They discuss getting back and while Jamie is all for it, V confesses that she’s not sure if she could trust him again. (Glacia is a bit shocked that V is using COMMON SENSE for once.).

Later, after the pub closes they go back to his place for dinner where she decides that she is madly in love with him after all and they form a couple. V worries that Jamie may not be up for being a dad to someone else’s baby, but he brushes that off by dismissively saying that it’s not someone else, it’s SEAN for god sake. (Sean being without a soul apparently). He further continues that V isn’t tied to some guy forever just because she’s having his baby.

Okay, never in a million years would I have thought I’d have said this but, ‘What about the child? Won’t someone PLEASE think about the child?’ Seriously, is there no part of V that recognizes the baby’s right to a relation to his biological father?

Meanwhile, Sean is singing the blues to Marcus about being regarded only as the donor (aka Sperminator) to V’s baby. Marcus points out that Sean will have a right to see the baby. I totally agree, no matter what was agreed upon verbally (and I never remember them saying Sean would only have limited access….I seem to remember it as them hugging each other in ‘we’re gonna have a baby’ giddiness.), Sean is going to have legal access to that child.

On a side note, I love the relationship between him and Marcus, the writers have done a great job of building it and removing the big neon sign that says, ‘Gay couple here, we’ve got a GAY couple on the show.’. They just are, and that’s lovely.

Educating Sally
Fizz is upset with John over the tutoring job and they have a bit of a grumble on her way to work. He tries to placate her, but when they try to kiss goodbye, Sally LITERALLY sticks her nose in between them and asks if she’s interrupting anything.

After a hard day of trying to keep his classroom under control and getting creepy kissy faces from Rosie, John meets up with Fizz in the Rovers where they finally have a proper kiss and make up. He tells Fizz that he feels responsible for Sally because he encouraged her to study but now she’s in over her head because she’s ‘not all that bright’.

Clurr Pulls
Okay, I think my favourite character right now is Fat Brenda. Even though we’ve never seen her, I’m loving this gal already. Steve announces to Clurr and Llyod that Fat Brenda is getting a boob job. Tell me, how am I NOT perfectly suited to play F.B.?

Anyway, Clurr is looking to go out on the town and do some pulling. She’s ready to date again and makes sure that Ashley is well aware of this when she asks him to babysit so she can go out on the town with Lloyd to a singles night.

Steve thinks that Clurr may be too fussy and wonders how she’s going to find Mr. Right After Ashley, if she’s not willing to go out. Will she have her mom knit a man?

In Other News
Steve has no issues with smoking 4 feet away from a pregnant woman.

Sarah would like Jason to adopt Bethany. Maria thinks ‘Bethany Grimshaw’ sounds lovely.  Yeah, and so does ‘Zazu Pitts’.

Rita and Doreen go out for dinner, clearly to fight over Norris bragging rights.

Sally and Kev have tried parsnip crisps, but they don’t think that they’ll do that again.

During the break, we saw the least enviable man in the world, Michael McCain .

CBC has revamped its main Corrie site. The main page now includes a photo from this evening’s episode, as well as a three sentence synopsis of tonight’s show, as well as for each of this week’s broadcasts. Keep in mind, however, that the synopsis could be considered spoilerish so proceed with caution if you want ZERO info on tonight’s show.

In addition, there is a new forum where you can discuss the show, although the examples of topics given suggest storylines from the current UK broadcast rather than the Canada one.

And, of course, they are still streaming episodes.

Looks pretty good, I must say.

UK Time Monday November 12th 2007 – Episode 2

Yesterday two of my co-workers hovered around my desk asking nervous questions about the street and CBC programming. I had to assure them several times that yes the street will be on, no they will not just jump two week, no there will not be double episodes for a couple weeks and sadly the Morton family will still be on the show.

Yes, last night was the triumphant return of the soapiest of soaps. But, I found that I didn’t really remember where we left off. So, if you are in the same boat just scroll down and give Mayfair’s update a quick skim.

I have to tell you that I think last night’s episode was a delivery system for Jamie and Violet. Who agrees with me? They finally kiss again. I was pretty happy. I love these two characters together. I think they also have street longevity.

It doesn’t matter that the kiss came after a drunken “I love you man!” moment and that he actually said “you mean a lot to me” or something to that effect. But you don’t have to be hopped up on baby hormones and filled with your gay best friend’s fetus to want that to mean “I love you” and in this case, I think she’s right. So, after a night of drinking in the pub Jamie and Violet finally kiss by the door with Michelle watching making the same face I was making but without the ice cream and chocolate sauce. Oh, bless.

Another lovely moment came with the Platt-Grimshaws. No, I’m not talking about the moment when Jason came down stairs in a tight white long sleeve t-shirt chosen because it lay across his abs so beautifully. I mean when he took Sarah to dinner on her gran’s dime and read a ridiculous story to her that illustrates his love/bafoonery. It was dead sweet. It was also sweet that Sarah responded with “You know what I’m going to do when I get home? Consummate.” I wondered if she planned to do that on her own.

When they got back to number 8 it really hit home for me that they were gonna get it on in her mother’s house, probably one room over, in a bedroom they share with Bethany. That’s why Sarah wanted to do it on the couch. To add to the creepy factor, David watched them make out. Weird.

Lloyd and Steve’s bromance continues to blossom. I’m so glad they got over the whole Kelly thing. Lloyd and Steve are running the worst cab company in all of England and can’t get any drivers to take them into town for a big night out. That’s ok, because they really only need each other.

Claire, on the other had doesn’t need anyone. Although, she swears that she is going to start dating and move on from Ashley. Sure you are, honey.

It looks like Rosie Webster has totally gotten rid of her tart training wheels and launched into full tart mode. The show actually opened with her kissing John Stape. What happened here … Rosie slinked around the classroom, her mother came by to get her and convinced John to resume their lessons. Rosie successfully made John jealous by flirting with a boy her own age – the minx – and John drove them home. Fiz got pissed with John.

In Other News:

Wicky loves the Human League. How could she not. Like Jason and that Rubbish sea lion, she is only human, flesh and blood, born to make mistakes.

Jerry continues to neglect his children whatever their names are.

Just a reminder that Corrie is back tonight, same bat time, same bat channel.

Now, I seem to remember reading a comment here on Corrie Canuck rumouring that the CBC were going to just jump ahead the episodes we missed. I’ve been assured that that is not the case, we are picking up right where we left off.

We won’t however be getting double episodes so there won’t be catch up.

To wish our esteemed founder, Corrie fan, and vodka enthusiast, Jacqueline, the happiest of birthdays.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLACIA! MANY HAPPY RETURNS!!!

5 more days of Olympics left, kids, and we’ll get our Corrie back. In the meantime, who would you like to see more of in the show when it returns to our screens?

Here are a few people I think could use a little more screen time:

Amber Kalirai

Amber first came to our screens as the newly revealed daughter of shopkeeper Dev Alahan. Her snarky backtalk to her fading lothario father was welcome around here, with some going so far as to declare her “the new Bet Lynch” as early scenes of Bet from the sixties compare quite strikingly with Amber’s introduction.

Amber briefly worked in Kevin’s garage and reportedly had a knack for mechanics. Dev, being sexist, said he didn’t want his daughter doing men’s work but Amber countered that she didn’t want to be Asian stereotype and work in a shop.

Since then, it’s been revealed that she has an unreciprocated thing for David Platt. Other than that, we rarely see her, other than to offer reactions to David’s shenanagins. Like David, she is funny and more intelligent than many of her peers. This is a character with tons of potential just waiting to be used.

Devendra Alahan

And speaking of Amber’s dad, whatever happened to the street’s aging ladykiller, cornershop magnate, and loyal customer of Sex Panther cologne? Dev made a name for himself bedding the ladies of the street, including mother-daughter pair Deirdre and Tracy Barlow (not at the same time! Don’t be gross!).

Ever since Sunita left with the twins after discovering his retconned existence as the baby daddy to several of his shop girls, Dev’s been rarely seen. He occasionally offers advice to the lovelorn and had a weird, one-episode relationship with salad creme, but other than that, he’s been reduced to a background player.

I’d like to see more of Dev, particularly as he copes with middle age.

Wiki Dankowska

Wiki (yes, it’s spelled like it sounds) came to street as a newly arrived Polish employee at Underworld, taking on extra shifts for low pay. She is working to support her son back home in Poland. She also has a university degree.

Despite some anti-migrant worker sentiments from the other stitchers, Wiki was recently promoted to Hayley’s old post of floor manager (or whatever it’s called). She also has improved her English to the point where her vocabulary now exceeds Becky Granger’s.

WIKI

She looks discombobulated.

BECKY

Oh now, you can’t just go making words up, love.

Wiki adds a dash of realism to the show as few modern working class neighbourhoods today would be as culturally homogenous as Coronation Street nearly is. She has also hinted at an interesting life that she left behind in Poland. I’d love to something develop from that in the future.

Sophie Webster

Whenever elder sister Rosie experiences the heartbreak of her goth boyfriend going to Berlin, or has an affair with an older teacher, Sophie is always there, snarking behind her back in a thick Lancashire dialect. Sure she’s hard to understand sometimes but it’s worth the effort as the comic rewards are rich.

Chesney has a crush on her, which she is thus far not reciprocating. But if Tyrone and Molly are 2nd generation Jack and Vera, I could see Ches and Sophie as third. Give it twenty years of failed relationships and I’m sure it would happen.

What do you all think? Who would you like to see more of on the street?