Corrie Canuck

Okay, reading some of the comments, I realize that there are some wicked, wicked rumours going around about our Stephen.   Okay, not actually rumours, but I think the character has been shroaded in some mystery.

So just very quickly, this is what our Stephen is about:

Audrey got pregnant in 1956 at the tender age of 16 and gave birth to Stephen.  There’s never been anyword on his biological father.  She gave the baby over to her neighbour Malcolm Reid who moved with his wife to Canada in 1960.  So even though Stephen was born in the UK, he never really spent any serious time here.  He was 4 when he was moved to Canada which is more than enough time to develop a Canadian accent.

He is/has been married to a French Canadian girl named Celine Dion Gabrielle.   All info I can find is that they are still married, yet he makes no mention of her during this visit…so maybe she’s gone the way of Chuck Cunningham.

Stephen has this clothing company called Kbec (yes, barf now) and came back to Weatherfield in the mid 90’s to make a deal with Mike Baldwin.  The only thing that really came of that was Mike’s wife Alma making an unsuccessful pass at him.

Nick (Sarah’s older brother – son of Brian Tisley) had gone off to Canada for a few months with Stephen when he was having troubles with Gayle dating Martin.   He also moved to back to Canada (and Stephen) after his relationship with Leanne fell apart.

Stephen is mainly a theatrical device used to usher young troubled Gayle spawn to destinations abroad.

Oh, yeah….

Just in case anyone missed that, Michelle DEFINATELY referred to Dean as her husband last week.

SPIT IT OUT!

UK Time Monday December 17^th 2007 – Episode 2

The episode opens with Michelle and Liam in the parkette across from stalker central. Michelle is in hysterics much to the annoyance of several Corrie Canucksters. How could this boy look just like Dean? Did Dean have an affair? What’s going on?

Liam and Michelle stay outside hoping to catch a glimpse of the boy, but they miss him every time and decide that have to go confront the stalker. Once they get to the door they see the stalker and are invited into his home. Here we are forced to sit through this man telling the story. As it was clearly written by the staff of Young and the Restless, I’ll condense it for you: Due to some medical problems leading to subsequent tests, this family found out they had the wrong son. There was only one other boy born at that Manchester hospital that day (totally likely in a city of 458, 000), he is Michelle’s son. Michelle can’t take it and run out of the house, again in hysterics. Luckily Steve has just pulled up and after not returning his calls all day she runs, in hysterics, into his arms and begs him to take her home. It could be worse Cunucksters, she could be our Katie. Remember that?

Later in the car, Steve is trying to get Michelle to tell him what’s going on. She doesn’t. Basically, this goes on for an eternity – well, for a large part of the episode. By the end of the episode, she tells Steve what’s going on and he is very much the supportive boyfriend doing everything he can to poke holes in the story. Michelle, however, looks worried. Maybe she thinks it could be true? Soon she sees Ryan, hugs him and telling him how much she loves him. I have a feeling we are going to have to see a lot of crying and worry from Michelle.

Could This Be David in Italy?

Sarah Platt is bringing out the big guns now. She has been planting the idea that David is “back” on drugs, but, David never really took drugs. He was certainly never an addict. He was careless and that almost killed that weird looking kid who is on the show from time to time.

For the whole show Sarah tries to get Gail to believe that David is using. The best part is that Sarah tells Gail that he has mood swing. Gail says it is because he’s leaving home. You know, because he loves it so much there.

Anyway, Sarah does repeat her warning to David that he wont be going anywhere. I am starting to believe her.

Mel and her 35 year-old bezzie mate hit the town together and get hammered on Jerry’s dime. Great guy. The bookie son, Dan Mason, first plays all hard to get then shows up at the pub ready to mack on the 35 year-old bezzie mate.

Result! She goes home with him and guess who’s moved in. His dad Harry has decided to move in with Dan because his now ex-wife has changed the locks. This, my friends, is why you don’t give your parents the spare key.

It's Rosenkelly and Wikistern!

Kelly and Wiki are basically the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the episode. I was loving them. I also agreed with Kelly when she was saying that the half day off is good, but they are spending while they are earning, therefore they are loosing money.

While they were in the pub they ran into Carla and Tony who made a joke about them going back to work, so Rosencrantz and Guildenstern would skitter away? So, does anyone else thing that the Connors don’t treat their staff with respect?

Know what I’m real happy about? Two episodes, no Rosie and John. Thanks for the break.

OKay,  my apologies….I totally didn’t do Wednesday’s update.  A combination of reality telelvision, Second Life, Crackbook and Diner Dash were my downfall. 

So although we’ve already posted Thursday/Friday updates, I’ll provide a quick wrap up of what happened Wednesday.  The good news is…it was a ’filler’ episode where nothing really happened.

1. The girls want a Christmas party, and once again, the factory management is resisting spending money.
2. Liz buys white pleather boots.  Vern is to distracted by his insecurities around a man who is more attractive, has more charisma and a bad ass ‘Love / Hate’ tattoo (it’s Jim I’m talking about here), to really pay much attention to the boots.
3. Liam spends the day with Ryan.  Michelle frets but eventually says that Ryan can go back to school as long as he has an escort.
4. Rosie was supposed to go out with her friends, but when she finds out that John is coming she cancels her plans to run around the house half naked while John tries to tutor Sally.  Rosie kisses him upstairs when he comes upstairs and makes demands about seeing him again.  This girl is seriously giving me the creeps.  Oh, she also told him he could come scrub her back in the tub…./glacia shudders.
5. Jim meets up with Blanche in the betting office and when she tells him that she doesn’t associate with felons, he asks her how’s ‘Yer Tracey doin’?'  BOOOYAH!  Anyway, that kind of shuts her up and they share the joy of winning on an 8 to 1 pony.
6. Stephen has another lunch with David and after telling him to suck it up once again, he offers to take David to Canada Milan to help him out with American clients.  The offer comes with housing at Stephen’s flat, a cheap wage and all the Versace he can ever want.  David is all over that but is convinced that Gayle will say no.  Stephen talks to Gayle who initially says ‘He’s just a child!’, but is convinced by older brother to let David take flight.    They make the announcement to the family over dinner and everyone is VERY relieved to have satan leaving the country – except for Sarah. 

Yes Corrie Canucksters, normally the Friday slot is filled by the one and only Papa Smurf. However, as he is out enjoying the wilds of Thunder Bay, I am filling in for Friday’s episode.

UK Time Monday December 17^th 2007 – Episode 1

The episode opens with Ryan, Michelle and Steve in the back room at The Rovers. It seems that Ryan is taking advantage of his mother’s worry and getting more money for his phone* and suggesting that he leaves school well early. Steve picks up on his game but Michelle really is going insane, and frankly, I don’t blame her. For Christ sake, someone is stalking her son.

Later on, Lloyd has delivered Ryan to school but notices a car following him. Lloyd decides to follow it. I guess he calls Claire to tell her to get Michelle, because Claire, ever the helpful neighbour has high-tailed it over to the rovers to get Michelle who flies over to Streetcars. Liam catches wind of what’s happening and runs into Streetcars himself.

Liam and Michelle get into his flash car (you’d think given this family’s history with driving and fast cars, that Liam would choose a more modest vehicle) and speed over to the stalker’s house. During the drive Liam made me want to punch him as he tried to get Michelle to calm down. For Christ sake Liam, someone is stalking her son.

Back at Streetcars, Claire is left to tell Steve what’s going on. He calls Michelle just as she is about to confront her son’s stalker with a big fat hair commercial smile on her face. Did anyone else think that didn’t fit? She turned around like she was popping in on an old friend. Why the glamour smile?

Anyway, when she focuses on the person who answered the door she looks dead shocked, mainly because the boy who answered looked exactly like her dead husband. WHAAAAAAT? (said like an America’s Next Top Model contestant).

*Just as an aside, I have always heard that cell phone charges in the UK are sky high. In fact the cost to actually talk on your cell phone is prohibitive. However, texting is dead cheap. This is why text messaging is all the rage in the UK and on the show. On the street, the use of cell phones corresponds with economic class. If you notice, the Connors will talk on their cell phones, while Maria, Sara and Jason, Violet and a number of others will always text. Also, if you were wondering how much talking Ryan did to celebrate his video gaming victory keep in mind that ₤20 is actually $35.36 Canadian funds as of this morning’s rate. According to some light internet research, on a pay as you go plan like Ryan’s, he managed to talk for two hours for that 20 quid. That’s 2 hours of chatting for more than 35 bones. Ouch.

What is Sarah playing at? That girl is scheming and you know it. In the morning she has some tense words with David warning his that his Italy plans will fall apart. Really, I hope they do, because while I believe that David does need to get away from his idiot mother, what he really needs therapy, not a trip to Italy to be the 17 year-old full-time office manager in a country that he has never lived in for an industry he knows nothing about (great idea uncle Steven!).

Also, if I were Sarah, I’d be super angry. He’s been terrorizing my mother for two years and now an uncle who has no idea what’s been going on decides that he knows what’s best? What made Steven think David was up to the job? Did the Richard Hillman cards demonstrate creativity? Was sabotaging the builder’s yard an example of his planning ability? Was hiding narcotics in Bethany’s toys evidence of advanced managerial skill?

Anyway, there is some back and forth about a suitcase and David and Steven go off shopping for his luggage. Then Gail says something supper irritating to Sarah about David finally being happy and Sarah now being the ‘difficult one.’

Later in the salon Darryl comes in asking David for that 20 quid he borrowed (to pay for Ryan’s cell phone bill?). David doesn’t have it so his grandmother pays the debt for him. Sarah is all interested in why David borrowed the money in the first place. She doesn’t find out, but she is suddenly struck with a desire to buy cakes for the whole family, David included. Scheme on, schemer.

In Other News:

Mel got into the police academy and celebrates with her new 35 year-old bessie mate.

Eileen, Violet, Jamie and Lauren are supposed to decorate the flat, but Eileen ends up doing it alone.

Tony makes plans for take Carla for lunch and dismissed the staff, with pay for the rest of the day.

Blanche is now stealing pens from the bookies. I think she has a crush on that young man. The bookie son is flirting with Mel’s 35 year-old new bessie mate and getting the knock back. Bookie dad has just moved a woman out of his house. He’s been married three times. Way to go! I haven’t even managed to do that once.

Sophie

Kevin sees Fizz waving John off. She tells him that he is going to check up on the school disco for this evening. Kevin mentions he is buying Fizz’s Christmas present. Yeah, right.

John and Sophie are at the side of the road – making out like teenagers. Wait. Sophie is a teenager. They start to make out and a tow truck pulls up behind them. He starts freaking out that it is Kevin. Sophie turns around to see that it wasn’t her father. He is relieved. She laughs and they continue smooching.

John drops off Rosie off several streets away – she demands to be let out in front of her house. John mentions that a lot of people will get hurt if they are discovered. Really?! Rosie mentions that they can see more of each over the Christmas holidays. She gets out of the car in a bad mood and he demands a kiss. She is about to kiss him when she claims it is too risky and marches off smiling to herself.

Lauren

Lauren appears once the last box has been moved into the house. Violet holds out her hand and Jamie hands over the fiver. Jamie tells her Lauren she can help with the painting tomorrow – and she confirms that interior design is her thing. She will do a colour scheme which does not scream hormonal. Ouch.

Ryan (Sorry no actual male Bratz dolls, yet)

Ryan demands that he wants to go off to his competition, but Michelle thinks it is a good idea that he stay in – with the lurker around. Steve then tells Liz that Michelle needs some time off. Steve’s solution is to take Amy to Jim’s for a few hours.

Steve picks up Amy and announces that Jim can look after her for a few hours. Liz’s face looks blank and she really doesn’t know how to react to this.

Later on, Ryan returns with Michelle and Steve. He seems very pleased with himself. Apparently, he has done well in the video game competition qualifiers. Michelle cannot believe she is bragging about a son who is a computer geek. Ryan tells her it will be a lot better when the money starts rolling in from the competitions. Steve convinces Michelle that Ryan should return to school. And perhaps the stalker was scared off. He offers StreetCars to provide security to and from school.

Sarah

We meet Sarah and David snipping at each other in the Salon. How does any work actually get done? Sarah is furious that David gets a new life in Italy and Audrey points out to her that he will actually be out of her hair, (get it?) She complains that he should not be rewarded for his terrible behaviour. I do see her point.

Sarah is nagging Jason over at the yard about working on a Saturday – and that David won’t be working weekends in Milan. Sarah remains upset that they have not been offered the opportunity given the responsibility they have shown. (You mean locking up Bethany in her cage in the attic?)

Stephen walks into the Salon looking for Audrey. David responds in Italian that she is out, and in English suggests the Rovers. David goes across the street to the pub to fetch her. Sarah uses the time along to speak to Stephen. She asks him if he if he is a gambler sending David to Milan. She offers some advice – not let him near money, good looking women or computers – but he just smiles and thanks her for the tips. Personally if I were him – I would be curious and want to know more.

In the pub, David meets Mel and her mate Abi, who is a policewoman. Abi shoots down David’s attempt to pick her up. The next scene – Dan tries to do the same thing. She tells Mel that, “He will keep, as he is with his father in the pub”.

As usual, at the Platt household – David and Sarah are fighting. Sarah tells him he should not pack his suitcase just yet as Stephen will come to his senses and she will make sure that she will be the one to tell him. David doesn’t believe it and tells her that she is just jealous. He replies, that she couldn’t say anything that could change Stephen’s mind at this point. David then puts down Sarah about her horrible marriage and her dreary life. And how he is has ambition and wants success. Sarah replies he better watch his back.

Jim the Buddhist

That last scene with Jim in the laneway behind the Rovers just reminded me of the spoken word bit in this song.

In the backroom of the Rovers’ some old couple I’ve never seen before Ken and Deirdre are asking to take Amy out but Steve says he’d like to take her to meet her grandfather for the first time later on. Liz doesn’t think it’s a good idea and warns Steve not to let Jim overexcite her.

Later Bill and Jim go into the Rovers, where Jim meets Michelle. Ken and Deirdre bring Amy back and Jim swoops her into his arms (probably should have waited for Steve to introduce him to her but whatever). Seeing this, Liz pulls Amy off him saying it’s past her bedtime and kind of implies she wants Jim to leave. No such luck as Ken joins him and Bill for another drink.

Later still, a drunk guy spills his drink down Jim’s back. Liz thinks he’s going to pound him but suddenly Jim diplomatically handles the situation and ushers the drunk guy to another part of the bar. Liz is impressed. Later on, after everyone has left Jim and Liz have a conversation where Liz begins to make apologize for keeping him at arm’s length from his family. Jim assures her that they’ll have no trouble from him. Vern overhears all this and comes out to mark his territory, inasmuch as Vern can be territorial. Jim gets the message and heads out.

As he walks out of the Rovers, he sees Liz and Vern, framed in silhouette in the window kissing goodnight. He looks kind of sad.

Uncle Stephen fram Canaderr

Now, these are Canadian accents.

David is taking an interest in his Uncle Stephen, seeing as he owns his own business and is going out of his way to make himself seem interesting to the guy. In the cafe, after being scolded by Becky over the text messages thing, David says he just wants to find his way. He laments that his sister thinks he’s the spawn of Satan.

“She’s yourrr sisterrr,” Stephen says in his distracting accent. “It’s parrrt of the jab.”

Did She or Didn’t She

Liz pops by the cab office long enough to drop a seed of doubt into Steve’s ear regarding Michelle’s fidelity to Dean, All Blessings Upon His Name, and the true identity of the man claiming to be Ryan’s father.

Steve and Michelle go to dinner where she assures him that she never cheated on Dean, Blessed Be His Memory, and Steve says he believes her. But he doesn’t look so sure.

And then all this other stuff happened:

Lauren is moving into Eileen’s.

Dan Mason tried to put the moves on Mel Morton’s hot friend.

Rosie is excited for her first Christmas with John Stape, so much so that she kisses him on the cheek, right out in the open. John is his usual gross mix of aghast/aroused.

UK Time Monday December 10^th 2007

So, it turns out that the dude Liam is slamming up against the wall is actually Ryan’s dad. Well, he says he is anyway. Once Liam and Ryan get back to the Rovers Liam tells Michelle what the guy is claiming. This must have confused Michelle, unless our girl has a secret.

Later, at the pub, Michelle, Steve and Liam talk about the whole mess. Steve doesn’t seem convinced that Michelle didn’t cheat on Dean. Can you blame him?

Liz is not happy with Jim working at Streetcars and worries that Jim will only try to put a fist into her midsection wrench into her plans.

At Streetcars Jim assumes that Eileen will not want to work with him and does his best to get into her good graces. Ever the obsessive loving guy once Steve strolls in Jim is all about when he can see his uni-brow granddaughter. He must be wondering, like we all are, where the hell she is.

Eileen and Jim continue their witty repartee at Streetcars HQ until Liz – AKA Elizabeth – comes in to see Jim. She wants to tell him to steer clear of her. Probably, the best way to make sure someone stays away from you, is to not go looking for them. But, to each their own.

Later Liz tells Jim that she is getting married and tells him not to try to ruin the wedding in some overly romantic gesture where he interrupts the wedding telling her that she doesn’t really love Alan McKenna in front of all the guests attempts to get her back.

That’s right, Liz went looking or Jim to tell him to stay away from her and to not try to win her back because she has moved on now. OK.

Fizz runs over to Maria to congratulate her on the pregnancy. As Maria isn’t three months along yet, she annoyed that Carla pulled a Paris Hilton.

In the pub Carla comes by to apologize for blabbing. I guess she is sorry, or tries to make them believe she is, but since her face can’t really show emotion, I’m unsure.

Remax called to tell Very they found the perfect little spot for them in Blackpool. Jack tells Vera that they can’t afford to buy the place. Vera is confused and Paul is worried that she will find out what a rat he is.

Later Jack lies to Vera telling her that he loaned the money to Paul for the restaurant. Vera is taken aback by the news and has to go have a lie down. Paul has the Charles de Gaul to thank Jack for covering for him. Because, coming clean to Vera or perhaps not stealing the money in the first place are not really options right now.

At the end of the day, Vera is heartbroken that they can’t move to Blackpool. It is a simple dream that can’t come true. Jack is heartbroken that he had to lie to Vera. Great job, Paul. I hope you get beat up.

The Platts are at dinner and normally there are fireworks when this dysfunctional collection of idiots and psychos gather around a table. Steven talks about going to set up his business in Milan. David talks about wanting to do something with his life – something other than terrorizing his family, I assume. Gail smiles at David because she is an idiot.

David spends the evening clearly trying to impress Steven. I guess he is looking for another victim. Again only Sarah sees through him. Audrey doesn’t believe her because Sarah is never right about David, his motives, or his ability to cause harm.

Today we had visitor number 150,000 since we moved our blog over to WordPress a while back.

Three cheers to our founder and muse Glacia, and to all our readers who keep it a fun and lively place to visit every day!

During dinner at Chez Platt Stephen was discussing the merits of setting up shop in Turin or Milan. One interesting fact mentioned about the home Fiat and Juventus was the Shroud of Turin. From Wikipedia, the source of all truth in the world:

The Shroud of Turin (or Turin Shroud) is a linen cloth bearing the image of a man who appears to have been physically traumatized in a manner consistent with crucifixion. It is kept in the royal chapel of the Cathedral of Saint John the Baptist in Turin, Italy. It is believed by many to be the cloth placed on Jesus of Nazareth at the time of his burial.

The image on the shroud is much clearer in black-and-white negative than in its natural sepia color. The striking negative image was first observed on the evening of May 28, 1898 on the reverse photographic plate of amateur photographer Secondo Pia who was allowed to photograph it while it was being exhibited in the Turin Cathedral. According to Pia, he almost dropped and broke the photographic plate from the shock of seeing an image of a person on it.

The Father

Jim comes by the cab office looking a bit rough. Steve wonders if Jim has fallen off the wagon but it turns out there was an evacuation at the halfway house due to someone setting their mattress on fire. Steve then offers his dad the prestigious job of valet at Streetcars, which Jim is quite happy to accept.

The Grandson

The Christmas decorations are going up at The Old Rectory. Vera is waxing nostalgic about how it will be their last holiday season in that house, before they move to her spiritual home of Blackpool for their remaining days. The other dwellers of the house, knowing what Paul has done, try to gently dissuade Vera from getting her hopes up too soon. Jack reckons that Christmas in Blackpool will mostly consist of hypothermia and winds from Siberia.

Jack, Tyrone, Molly, and Paul go to The Rovers and try to figure out a way out of the quagmire Paul has created without disappointing Vera. Again. No great ideas are forthcoming. Jack tells Paul that is more like his father Terry than he ever realized.

The Son

Sarah and Jason are sitting at the table while Gail cleans house. David comes down and the sibling scrapping commences. Again. Sarah wonders why she has been told to leave the house when it is David who has been casuing all the trouble. Gail rambles on for a bit. David tells her that she should have no trouble finding a place to live, if she doesn’t mind petrol bombs and packs of dogs. After a bit of this verbal barrage Gail tells them that she is sure she has made the correct choice in forcing Jason and Sarah to move out. (she is right, but for the wrong reasons, in my humble opinion)

Audrey arrives with son Stephen in tow. They stop by the salon to see David and Sarah and he is amazed at how grown up they are. Audrey tells Stephen they might look older but they are both sorely lacking in maturity. They stop by the Platt household for tea with Gail, who has brought out the good china for the occasion. Stephen explains his plan for expanding the business into Italy. Gail explains how she was wedged in by a big fat guy on the bus when she was returning with the cakes. Stephen comments on long he has been looking forward to having a quiet family Christmas. Too bad he is going to be spending the holiday at with the Platt house…

The Sister

Lauren come by the pub and tries to mooch a room with Violet and Jamie in their new apartment but Violet is not having it. Lauren calls her a tight cow. Very nice. Lauren then stops by Streetcars and tries to schmooze her way into the apartment by chatting up Jamie but he quickly sees through her stratagem and tells her it’s not on.

The Sister-In-Law

The factory girls are on their way to work discussing how they will be spending the holiday season. Janice and Fiz are looking forward to spending quality time with their men. Kelly bemoans her single status and wonders if she is ‘gong lesbian’. Vicky recounts an enjoyable experience of sapphic love she once had.

Carla shows up for work and notices Maria carrying boxes into Liam’s house.

In the factory the girls are working hard to the strains of ‘Fairytale of New York’* until Carla turns the music off. Vicky inquires if Carla plays music while she is on the treadmill at the gym, and if this helps her to work out any harder. Carla ponders this for a moment and turns the music back on. The girls debate what the best way to get Shane McGowan clean would be, and what it would be like to kiss him. Carla mentions to Liam that she saw Maria moving in that morning, which causes a stir amongst the factory girls, and forces Liam to tell them all that he has gotten engaged, and is excited he is to become Mister Sutherland in the very near future. Carla then lets a comment slip about the wisdom of Maria moving in and lifting things ‘in her condition’, which of course gets the tongues wagging about Maria being pregnant. Liam is not impressed with this turn of events and he and Carla have some sharp words later in the office.

*Apparently the only Christmas song the writers are familiar with.

The Other Father

Liz, Vern, Steve, and Michelle are having breakfast and discussing what to do about the problem of the man who is stalking Ryan. Michelle is all for keeping Ryan in his room till he is thirty. The others talk some sense into Michelle, and Steve tries to talk to Ryan about what is going on, but to no avail. Liam comes by to see how things are with Ryan and offers a solution to put Michelle’s mind at ease, Liam will take Ryan to and from school, so there will no opportunity for the stalker to find Ryan on his own. This plan of action is agreed on, and Liam takes Ryan to school in the afternoon without any problems, other than the fact that Ryan is committing social suicide by having to be walked to school at his age.

At the end of the school day it is a different story though. When Ryan is leaves school the man who has been stalking him walks towards Ryan, and he is intercepted by Liam, who drags the man off while yelling at Ryan to get into the car. Liam then confronts the man, wondering why he has been following Ryan and how he even knew his name. The man tells Liam that it is complicated. Liam keeps demanding an answer and the man eventually tells him that he is Ryan’s father.