Corrie Canuck

Leather

Steve and Vern discuss the potential refurbishment of the pub. Leather is mentioned, although if in reference to the decor or the staff uniforms it remains unclear. Steve just wants to be sure that the pub does not end up looking like one of those shirts Vern is so fond of wearing.

Lace

Rosie has been entrusted by Carla to spy on the factory girls. When Carla is off to do some business Rosie tries her best to schmooze with the machinists while they are on their break, which of course is met with much derision by the girls, and Fiz finding somewhere else to be. Kelly finds it odd that officer material would be mingling with the cannon fodder all of a sudden. The gossip du jour is about why Tony binned Carla. Vicky think it is because Carla is too thin. Sean thinks it has something to do with her voracious sexual appetite. All of this of course is reported back to Carla when she returns. Tony rings, and Rosie tries to get Carla to answer but she instructs Rosie to tell Tony that she is out.

Organic

Violet, Jamie and Sean are chatting in The Rovers. Sean is banging on about what the baby will be eating, and how there are all sorts of great organic foods available for babies these days. Violet tells him she is bored of these conversations and waddles a hasty retreat with Jamie in tow.

Africa

Roy has everything ready well in advance of his departure. Lloyd does his best to reassure him that the trip will go smoothly. Becky show up with a collecton of garbage bags, containing most of her worldy good it would seem, in anticipation of her moving into the cafe flat for the duration of Roy’s trip. Roy starts to show signs of being unsure about leaving but Becky tells him that things will be fine. Blanche and Ken stop by so Blanche can ’show him the ropes’ but Ken defers to Becky, even as she comments that he is ‘not much to look at.’ The last words Becky say to Roy is ‘nothing can possibly go wrong.’ A bit of foreshadowing methinks.

Ticket

Jack stops by the bookies for the first time since the demise of his beloved swamp duck. While having a conversation with Dan he discovers that he won 3,172 pounds a while back, but he has to have the ticket in order to collect. Jack goes and talks to Tyrone who bought the ticket, but Ty tells him that he gave the ticket to Vera. Jack, Tyrone and Paul search for the ticket in the house but are unable to find it. Ty and Paul suggest looking in Vera’s handbag or clothes, but Jack tells them it is still too soon to go through her things. Paul goes to talk to Dan about collecting the prize but the bookie is adamant that without a ticket he cannot pay out.

Runaway

Alex stops in the Kabin early in the morning to find something to eat. Norris asks Alex if it was he that he saw sleeping on the bench. Turns out it was. Alex then tries to put the food on his mother’s account, which leads to an interesting conversation about his lineage, and some juicy gossip for Norris, after Alex tells the whole story of the switch at the hospital. Lloyd later sees him steal a bottle of milk from the dairy truck.

Michell and Ryan walk to the bus stop, with Michelle explaining the strict rules she has laid down for Alex regarding his habit of popping by for a visit. All the while, Alex is lurking in a doorway in the background watching them.

Norris, Rita, Sean and Eileen engage in a bit of chin wag in the Kabin. Eileen and Rita find it hard to belive what Norris is telling them about babies being switched at birth, but Sean does admit that things have been a bit odd round the pub lately, and that there has been an underage lad hanging around, who was whisked straght through to the back room.

Nick calls Michelle to tell her that Alex has gone missing, and she tells Nick that she has not seen any sign of Alex.

Eileen comes by the Streetcars office to tell Steve about the gossip on the street, hoping that he will deny what she has heard but Steve admits that it is true. Michelle comes by and Steve fills her in with what people are saying about her and her son(s).

Norris wants to talk to Carla and Liz about the Ryan/Alex situation, since they are ‘almost family’, but Rita prevents him from making a complete ass of himself.

Nick stops by the pub and has a bit of a heated discussion with Michelle about Alex.

A while later a police car stops in front of The Rovers and the officer bring Alex inside. They ask Michelle if he is her son. After a bit of hesitation she admits that he is. The officer asks if this is where Alex lives. Steve interjects and tells the police that Alex does not live there. Alex whines a bit about how it is where he lives and the officer asks again ‘is this where he lives or not?’

TEAM CARLA

It the day after the wedding and Carla is lying on the sofa. In rough shape what looks like a long night of drinking red wine. She searches for her bag and has a couple of aspirins. She lies back down.

Carla makes it to the factory and is in the office with Rosie. She asks what all the whispering is all about with the girls.

Rosie tells her: “Oh they all think you’re in a foul mood cos Tony dumped you.”

Carla laughed: “I don’t need a reason to be in a foul mood with that lot and anyway, I dumped him.”

She tells Rosie that she appreciates her telling her all the info on the girls. She has officially appointed Rosie the spy at Underworld.

TEAM MARIA

The newlyweds are in bed and Liam looks rough. Maria on the other hand is thrilled to be a new bride. She is up ready for breakfast in bed. Liam is not in the mood to eat.

She shrugs and smiles and says, “Looks like I’m eating for three then.”

Later, Barry and Helen say their goodbyes to Liam and Maria who were are ready to start their honeymoon in Venice. They tell them to have a wonderful honeymoon.

Mr. and Mrs. Connor set off for their honeymoon.

N&R Wine Bar?

Liz and Vernon have decided that the pub needs a new look. Vern suggests an, “ upwardly mobile feel?” Vernon has used his unknown talents as a sketch artist and has completed drawings. “I’m thinking… leather!” to which Liz says: “And that’s just for the staff!”

Liz and Steve are alone and she confesses: “I’m a bit worried about you and all these kids.” Steve cried: “Mum? Amy’s a little star!” She replied that it was the two big sons she was concerned about. He sighed: “Mum, when I met Michelle I knew she came with baggage. We all do. The thing is, I just didn’t realize quite how much.” That is for sure!

Rain in Africa

Roy has decided to go to Africa and visit Hayley. Now the decision has to be made who will look after the café. Becky’s reassurances that she could manage. Roy told her that running the cafe was too much for one person. Roy thinks that Ken will be the best person for the job.

Later in the Rovers, Roy asks Ken to take care of the café. Much to Blanche’s disgust.

ALEX (or the Never ending story)

Alex comes by the Rovers again, and interrupts Michelle at work. He wants to spend sometime with Michelle and they both go to talk in the back room.

In the back room, Michelle and Alex have a great time looking through her photo album. “This is your Granddad and Grandma’s wedding photo. Look at them top sixties outfits!” He asked if she had any of her with his dad. She replied: “Not really. We didn’t go in for photos much until Ry… until you and Ryan were born.” The door opens. It is Ryan, whoops.

Ryan starts to freak out: “Is this your idea or his?” Alex snarled in his face: “What is your problem?” Ryan grabbed him and yelled: “You, coming in here and trying to take over!”

Steve comes in and tries to (try) and control the situation. Alex gets up and heads for the door. She tells Alex: “Look Alex, I’m not pushing you away but we can’t carry on like this, none of us.” He went to go past her but she pleaded: “Come on. This should be a proper start for us, not the end of the world.”

From my CBC source – this applies to British Columbia only:

“Next Sunday, due to live coverage of Grand Slam Curling, Coronation Street will be seen one hour earlier at 6:30 am.”

So set your VCR’s early my wee White Spot eating darlings!

Well, it is really more of an obscure connection, but playing an Oasis song during the wedding was particularily fitting, since the Gallagher brothers of Oasis fame are rabid Manchester City supporters, as in the case with Liam and Ryan.

The Wedding

Just because…

We open with Maria seated in the back of the hired car, crying. Liam, who had been waiting at the altar for her, is there with asking her what’s wrong.

“I wanna go ‘ome,” she cries.

Liam is still at a loss to explain why Maria has suddenly gotten cold feet when she tells him, “It’s Carla. I’ll always be second best.”

Meanwhile, in the venue, Carla wants to find Liam and makes like she’s going to the loo but Kelly seems all too eager to join. She declares she’ll hold it.

Fizz and Audrey return and walk down the aisle, causing Sean to declare, tabloid style, “Audrey and Fizz in Lesbian Wedding Shocker!” The guests, however, are getting anxious about the delay.

Outside, Maria tells Liam that she knows he called Carla’s name when he was in th’ospickle. Liam tells Maria it’s her he loves and to forget about Carla. He also figures that Carla is transferring her grief over Paul’s death to him. Liam, if you really want your bride to know of your love and commitment, turn off your cellphone and shave for the wedding ceremony.

Inside, Ryan worries that he’s going to forget his speech but Steve advises that the best thing to do in these circumstances is to sing a Celine Dion song.

Outside, Liam gets a text from Carla: LIAM DON’T MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE I WANT YOU KTHNXBAI! Maria throws the phone halfway across the lawn. Seeing Carla, she hikes up her skirt and tramps across the grounds.

Eventually, Liam convinces Maria to marry him and the wedding is on. They go back to the venue, are pronounced husband and wife and Liam’s middle name is Barrington.

Later at the reception, Kelly utters the two sweetest words in the english language: Free Bar. Sean challenges the factory girls to drink Mr. Connor bankrupt. At the reception table, Liam professes his love for Maria, who is beautiful on the inside. Then Ryan starts to make a speech as best man, which is interupted by the sudden appearance of Alex. Ryan looks like he just took a football to the goolies. Michelle and Steve usher Alex outside. He protests that he wants to meet his family and, wow, really can’t be more inappropriate. They get him in a cab but Michelle decides to go with, just to ensure he gets home ok. Oblivious to this bit of family drama, Maria comes down with Ozzy and asks if they could take him home, too. It’s funny but … really? They took the dog to the wedding? He’s a pup. I’d be afraid that he’d run off. Anyway, things are kind of crappy for Ryan right now when his mum ditches her brother’s wedding to spend time with her bio-son.

In the bathroom, Maria finds Carla crying and asks if she is going to congratulate her. Carla does so but also says Liam is her friend and she didn’t want him to make a mistake. Maria does a kind of funny impression of her – “Me, right? I can ‘ave ‘im any time I want!” – and asks if now Carla will leave them alone.

“Maybe. Maybe not,” is Carla’s response, which gets a slap from Mrs. Liam Connor.

Maria also suggests she start behaving with a little more dignity.

“And you can start by brushing your hair,” adds the missus.

Afterward, everyone is well and truly pished. Dev and Kelly dance and Carla warns all the factory workers she wants them in on time tomorrow. The wedding was on a weeknight?! Anyway, Sean caught the bouquet! He’s the next to get married! But not in California!

Then Liam and Maria retire to the honeymoon suite while Carla looks up at their window and cries a little bit more.

In honour of American Thanksgiving, I am thankful that this wedding did not end with one of the participants jumping out the bathroom window. I am also thankful that someone did not show up with Liam’s estranged progeny. Despite the drama, the wedding was one of Corrie’s more normal ones.

Seems like all the Who’s down in Whoville are getting ready fete the marriage of Liam and Maria!

Now, was it just me or were there some truly weird ass fashion statements for this wedding.   Here’s my Blackwellian list:

• Liam and Ryan - ‘Accordion’ ties?  Seriously?
• There was something weird about Carla’s make that made her face look very puffy.
• Fizz looked like she was channeling the spirit of Ester Williams with that tiara.  I was half expecting fireworks to start shooting from those stars sticking out of her head.
• Liam – a razor…if not on your wedding day, then when?
• Violet decided to come dressed as the Silver Penguin.  Actually, her dress was fine, but I’ve been around a lot of pregnant woman and I’ve never, ever seen such a ridiculous waddle.

But dearhearts, I could go on and on, picking at the fact that Steve wasn’t wearing a tie and that Maria’s hair looked far too stiff….but this is all small stuff.  This would be me grasping at straws because the brass ring was just around the corner when Carla makes her appearance at the wedding.

I swear to GOD the bottle of Absythne dropped right from my hand and my mind and body fell into some weird trance and I started shaking and sentences tried to form in my mouth, ‘Wha-ha- aha – Cruella– black – feather – BLACK – wedding – black – evil…eeeeeeeeevil – feathers! – cheekbones – long evil doctor coat – black, black, black…arched eyebrows….aaaaaaaaaaaghaaaaaaaaaaa – ack – ack – ack.’

So now you know the real reason I was late with this update.  I’ve been spending the last two days trying to come up with something to describe the sheer bizarreness and message of EVIL that was Carla’s outfit – but I couldn’t.  Dear readers, I finally hit ‘saucy quip’ meltdown.  For a bitter drunk like me who fancies herself the Dorthy Parker of the Corrie Algoquin Round Table – it was like staring directly into the sun.

Okay, but on with the update.

The show starts with Maria in her blue dressing gown, looking, well, blue.   Audrey comes in chirping with a tea for you ‘my darling.’  (I love how Audrey speaks!).   She thinks that Maria just hasn’t had enough sleep and gives her a pep talk.

Meanwhile over in Connorland, Ryan, Liam, Michelle, Ma and Pa Connor meet up at Liam’s house to get ready.  Things get a bit weird when Ma Connor asks Liam if her hair smells like bacon.  It’s then that we discover that they’ve been drinking already – and Pa STILL wants to go to the Rovers to for a quick sniff.  We also find out that some members were not so fortunate in the looks department, Uncle Ted, specifically who had the face of a badly made pie.

Like this?

Carla, back at her flat, is LAYERING on the make up while giving a look that says she is just not going to let it go.  When Tony arrives she wonders why they are even going tothe wedding, to which he responds. ‘Let’s go to London, do a bit of shopping and go someplace nice for lunch.’  (‘Yumsk!’ thinks Glacia.)   But Carla snaps at him and he ends up leaving her to go solo to the wedding.

As Maria gets ready for the wedding she realizes, ‘OH NOOOOOOOOES, I forgot the blue beetle!’.   Audrey runs over to Liam’s to pick it up and while she’s there, he tells her to tell Maria that he, ‘You know, loves her and all.’.

Back at Audrey’s, Maria tells Fizz about the Carla and Liam kiss – on – the – cheek.   Fizz tells her to not be silly, that he loves her.  Then Audrey comes in and says basically the same thing.   Then she tells Maria Liam’s message and that’s enough to get Maria up and out the door.

When they get to the hotel, Kirk comes to the car and tells Maria that he is acting  ‘ in loco parentis’ – and before Glacia can say, ‘You’re a crazy ass parent?’ Kirk explains that this term was given to him by Roy and it means that he is acting in lieu of their father.   He tells Maria that it’s not too late to back out of the wedding, that even though a lot of money would have been wasted and that she’d be embarrassed, at least she wouldn’t be stuck with the wrong person for the rest of her life.’   BOOM – there it is!  And boom goes the car door as Maria decides NOT to go in and get married.

Back in the hotel, everyone worries about the delay – except for Dad Connor who sees it as an opportunity to go get a drink.   Ma Connor worries if Maria is a ‘farthing?’  Did anyone get/understand what she said? 

Kirk fetches Liam who goes to the car only to be told by his bride that she can’t marry him!  Roll credits.

In other news

Ozzy apparently got to come to the wedding

Michelle reassures Ryan about Alex, but told him that she promised Alex that she’d stay in touch.  Then she adds that Ryan will always be number one, oh and Steve, oh and Amy.  Steve responds that if this were an American he’d be saying, ‘You got enough love for all of us M—M-M-M-Michelle!’

Sean admits he will have a hard time not responding when the minister asks if anyone knows a reason why they shouldn’t be married, ‘Maria’s a bloke!’  ‘Liam’s a polygamist!’

Sally blames a magpie for the glitch in the wedding.

When Fizz says that she’s going to move Chesney in her, Audrey doesn’t want Schmichael in the flat, dribbling over her soft furnishings

Maybe it’s the Elsie Tanner thing,  maybe it’s the Manchester thing, maybe we’re all just a bunch of recovering sulking angst ridden teens, but pretty much from the get-go Corrie Canuck has had an affinity for all things Morrissey.

Recently, I picked ‘The Boy With the Thorn in His Side’ to be David’s theme song.  Now I ask you dear hearts, pick the Smiths/Morrissey song that best describes one of our favourite or not-so-favourite characters! 

Go on, tell me…

something old, something blue...

At Liam’s house Ryan is having a fashion meltdown, because his wedding shirt is not an exact match to Liam’s. He sees that Carla has stopped in and says to her, “Tell him! We have to match!” He continues to complain until Liam relents and sends him upstairs to change so they can go and swap the shirt before the shops close. While this exchange is being shouted up-and-down the stairwell, Carla broaches the subject at hand: It is Liam’s last chance to be honest before walking down the aisle.

Emily meets Audrey and Maria leaving the salon. Maria is distressed that she doesn’t have the requisite “old, new, borrowed and blue” inventory for the wedding. Emily thoughtfully offers Maria a blue scarab beetle pin sent to her from her nephew Spider in Egypt. That will cover old and blue.

Maria and her future in-laws, along with Audrey, visit the reception venue to ensure all is in order. It’s a lovely, large room, complete with white linen, a gorgeous cake and fresh flowers. Maria is distressed that the room is as cold as it is; Audrey rushes off and returns with the reassurance that the room is being kept cold to preserve the flowers. She gives Maria a supportive hug.

At the pub, Vernon is gassed from having blown up his millionth balloon: his hot air has finally reached it’s limits. Steve is cheezed that the balloons are tied up the wrong way…Vernon reminds him that the kiddies like to play with them on the floor. Michelle is still a no-show.

Michelle’s visit with Alex has run long, and she wants to get herself and the cake to the party on time. Having been presented with a picture of Dean, Alex wants to know, “Do you think he’d want me to live with you and ‘im?” Michelle is taken aback. Alex feels he has no real home, between being chastised at Nick’s and tiptoeing around Wendy’s stepchildren. The son and heir of nothing in particular.

Ah, Morrissey…no one does angst and oblivion like you…

Michelle is getting more anxious to leave and Alex has gone from slightly rude to sulky and belligerent. He wants to be taken home with Michelle to “Ellie’s” birthday party. When Michelle implores that she has to go, he shoots back: “You mean, get lost Alex!”.

Carla has returned home and is drinking a glass of red wine when Liam turns up. He isn’t stopping, he tells her, and has just come by to warn Carla not to upset Maria’s big day. He launches into a very unconvincing speech, asserting that he has no feelings for Carla, and The Kiss meant nothing to him. And no, he didn’t feel anything at the hotel either. 

“Why,” Carla asks, “would I put myself on the line?” His answer: -wait for it – “You’re a scheming, jealous bitch!”. “Then why,” Carla counters, “were you calling out for me at the hospital?” She proceeds to fill Liam in on the details. Liam snorts, “I may as well have been calling out for Mother Teresa and the bloke from the kebab shop!“

Liam's True Love?

Carla claims that only she can fully understand Liam’s complicated nature….whoa. you mean, like how Keanu Reeves is complicated? Or sorta like…Beavis complicated? She accuses Maria of being shallow and therefore incapable of understanding an inscrutable specimen like Liam. Whoa.

Back at Ken & Deirdre’s, Amy has thrown a “tanty”, gotten angry, sick and been sent to bed because the promised pink cake failed to show. Blanche, Ken, Deirdre, Emily and a little mystery girl are winding the party down. Emily scampers off to take the blue scarab over to Maria and Liam’s. Ryan turns up and guesses in short order why his mother has been delayed, just as Ken begins an impromptu lecture on the mythology of the scarab beetle. Steve is in a tanty himself when Michelle gets home, but you know it’s only a matter of time before he deflates like a meringue left out in the rain. Whatever.

Dinner is being served to the senior Connors at Audrey’s. Helen probes a little about why Maria’s parents can’t attend. Barry asserts his wife is planning to monopolize the kids at Christmases and if Helen had her way, “our three would have married dolphins.” Pause. Rewind. Dolphins? Pause. Rewind. Oh, okay: orphans. Helen gives Maria a family heirloom charm bracelet with a new cross charm for the baby. Hmmm. dolphins are pretty smart, aren’t they? After dinner, Maria jumps into a taxi to return home and fetch the scarab.

Carla has followed Liam home to press her point further. She just wants one thing: an admission of the chemistry between them. She browbeats him into the living room, where she instigates a brief, heated kiss (Kiss Two). Liam pulls away, vacantly repeating, “I love Maria”. Carla finally gives up on her prey, follows Liam out the front door and kisses him goodbye on the cheek before slinking off in her Ziggy Stardust boots….of course, Maria pulls up in her taxi just in time to witness all.

In other news….

Fiz wants Chesney to move in. again.

Fiz and Kirk have a conversation about Chesney that somehow ends up with Kirk thinking that Fiz is happy to do their grocery shopping for the week.

Steve, Michelle, Vern and Amy are in the back room of the pub opening birthday gifts and cards. They open a card from Mommy/Tracey which leads a pause in the conversation. Amy announces she wold like some cake for breakfast. Michelle glances at her mobile phone, hoping for a text from Alex. Steve, showing some backbone, takes the phone from her hand and tells her to focus on Amy today instead of Alex. She promises to do so.

When Michelle is at the cafe picking up some cakes, which Roy graciously gives her gratis, she gets a call from Alex and of course, she drops everything, breaks her promise to Steve, and agrees to meet Alex. When she sees Steve, Michelle tells him that she is off to meet her son, they argue a bit about priorities, but she leaves regardless, promising to be back in time for the party.

Alex and Michelle meet at a coffe shop and have a good talk about family and the past.

Vern, left alone in the pub with fifty balloons to inflate, in addition to customers who need serving, wonders where Michelle is. Again.

Jason stops by Streetcars with some food for his mom. Steve is listening to a horse race on the radio, only to hear his horse lose. After a bit of conversation it becomes apparent that Steve knows all about what has transpired with Jason and his love life in recent days. Eileen tells her son, as she holds Steve’s head to her bosom, that they are like an old married couple, and they tell each other everything. Jason announces that he is going to apologize to Becky. Eileen points out that sleeping with a girl and then fleeing the country might require more than a simple apology.

At the cafe some of the factory girls come in and gossip a bit about the Jason and Sarah situation, which of course Becky overhears. Jason appears moments later and makes his apology, and Becky gives him a smack in the side of the head in response. Roy comes over and apologizes to Jason for what has happened and Jason tells him it was alright, and anyways he probably deserved it. Roy, in the best line of the night responds: ‘I didn’t say you didn’t deserve it actually.’

Gail sees Jason on the street holding an ice pack to his face. The two in-laws have a touching conversation about how Jason and Sarah might have lost each other already along the way. They part ways with Gail telling Jason to take care of himself.

Dan tries to chat up Becky in the cafe and she snubs him. Roy tells Dan that Becky has had a rough go of it with men lately.

Dan tries to chat up Kelly in the pub, and she is quite receptive to the idea until Harry comes in and mentions the ‘bet’ they had that Dan could bed one of the factory girls before the week was up. Kelly beats a hasty retreat to the girls at the table.

Maria and Liam are in the living room after his night of debauchery. He feels like death. The two soon to be weds have an odd conversation about how and why they love each other. Maria then leaves to go shopping with her future mother-inlaw, only to run into Michelle and Carla on the street. Carla, obviously in a foul mood, takes a stab at Maria by making a joke about Liam showing up for the wedding.

Liz, Audrey and Maria discuss hair in the salon.

Liam stops by the factory to pick up a few things. Liam asks Carla if she is alright. She insists she is, but looks like she has something on her mind, but before she can talk to Liam the factory girls give him a bit of a send off. Carla, increasingly frustrated, growls at the staff who quickly make their out the door. leaving Carla on her own.

Maria is on her way to the hotel for her last night as a single woman. Her and Liam have a passionate kiss in the doorway as she leaves, and of course Carla comes out of the factory at this exact moment. As Maria walks away Carla makes her way to talk to Liam, only to have Tony show up in his shiny blue car. He tries to take her dinner but Carla tells him she is tired. Tony eventually manages to persuade her to come for a drink in The Rovers.

At the pub Tony is trying to be civil and brings up what sort of wedding gift they should get. Carla is getting into a fouler mood and Tony has finally had enough and departs, telling Carla he will leave her to it. Of course this is all taking place in front of the factory girls, and when Carla goes to get another drink from the bar she snaps at them ‘what are you gawping at?’ Later a comment is made by the factory crowd about ‘what a lucky cow Maria is’, which is well within earshot of Carla, who responds by going to the bathroom for a bit of privacy and is actually emotional for a bit. Carla puts on a bit of lipstick, and is quickly her old self once again.

Ryan come by to spend the night with Liam before the wedding. There is some discussion of naff cufflinks and shirts. Ryan goes upstairs to get some things ready and there is a knock at the door and Liam opens it to find Carla standing there. She tells Liam they have to talk. He wonders whether or not it can wait until after the wedding. She tells Liam after tomorrow it will be too late…

Trouble in Coupledom:

Couple #1

In the Rovers, Liam and Maria are sitting with Liam’s parents and Steve.  Liam’s cousin Tom, and has arrived for the stag do. Steve announces he is the organizer and is committed to keeping them all in order.

The stag starts in the Rovers waiting for their taxis. Liam’s dad makes a toast. He says no matter if you are Red (United) or Blue (City) to make a toast to the  ‘Busby Babes’. He reminds everyone in the pub that it was fifty years ago to the day that the Manchester United footballers, were lost in the plane crash. They drink a toast, and then they’re off.

Carla’s jabs start on Maria, talking about how her dress size just fits her.  Yet, Maria still asks Carla if she would like a drink – as Liam has left his card behind. Carla says, “At least that way he’s got something worth coming back for,” says Carla. “Yes,” snaps Maria, “his wedding.”  Could I just have one moment alone with her?

Michelle finds Maria is crying in the washroom.  She tells her to ignore Carla, but she says she can’t help it because keeps going on about Liam. Michelle says that Carla likes to be the centre of attention.

Maria tells Michelle she is still insecure after what happened in the Lake District (at the hospital) and the hotel in Birmingham.  Michelle reassures her she will stop when she gets bored.  Later on, Michelle has a word with Carla, to back off.

Back in the pub, Maria is sitting with her future mother-in-law and friends (Carla excepted).  Carla thinks the men will never be back in the Rovers for last orders.

The banter continues with Carla calling Maria ‘a lightweight’ for wanting to go home early.  Maria bites back with, “Why don’t you keep your clever opinions to yourself?”.  Just then the stag party walks into the Rovers, but Liam isn’t with them. Ryan comes a bit tipsy. Michelle is not impressed. Carla wants to know where Liam is, and they all laugh.

Claire and Fiz knock on Maria’s door, and tell her to get her coat for a surprise. Liam dressed only in his boxer shorts (helloooo) and hat, tied by the wrist to the bus stop, singing ‘Blue Moon’. Just as the girls are about to check out Liam (I wish I could…) Carla sees him and laughs. She starts to undo him. (Sigh) At that moment, the girls come round the corner. “What the hell are you doing?” screams Maria, and rushes forward. She tells Carla lay off and takes him home.

Couple #2

Jason gets out of a taxi as Eileen walks towards her house. Eileen notices that he has a fat lip. “Tell me Sarah didn’t do that?” she says. “She was trying to make a point,”. He tells her it is over.

Jason tells his mom it was the Becky thing that tipped it.  Eileen assumes it’s Gail who’s told Sarah, but Jason tells her he told her himself.  Eileen asks if he knows that she hasn’t done the same.  Jason says he has lost Sarah for good.

Later, Gail meets Audrey, about Jason and Sarah. She says she hasn’t heard anything. Gail says it is too bad they are not like David and Tina. “Rabbits, you mean?” says Audrey. (The best line of the show!!) 

In Other Street News:

Kelly is jealous (again) of Vikki’s cash and alcohol consumption

Violet has a case of ‘Seanitis’ and misses work.

Becky is late for work and being tardy.

Mel thinks Lauren is just using Darryl for his kebabs (LOL)