July 31, 2009
When the girls go into the swank restaurant with the dreamy waiter, one of the girls mentions that ‘Wayne and Coleen’ are known to frequent that establishment. Wayne Rooney is one of the big stars for Manchester United (formerly of Everton) and the English national team. Coleen is his high school sweetheart, now wife, and soon to be mother of their first child. ‘Wayleen’ are often targets of the British tabloid media for any number of reasons.
July 31, 2009
Kevin gets Tyrone to come to the house to stand watch whilst he goes to the swimming pool to collect Rosie. Everything is in a panic until he gets home only to discover that John picked up Sophie and Chesney and brought them home. Kevin says thanks.
Yeah.
Thanks guy who slept with my ‘barely legal’ daughter.
Thanks guy who my daughter not A FEW WEEKS ago accused of kidnapping.
Thanks guy who just HAPPENS to be available to pick up my other daughter.
No, why should I suspect you?
You know, Kevin was so ready to suspect Tony for every fart that happens in his life – but he can’t see that John’s behaviour is awfully strange. This doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.
Although I guess he’s right now to be suspicious because NORRIS has ordered a bunch of blank postcards. So I guess we know that he has Rosie.
Liam and Carla…still texting each other. yawn. Oh, Carla does have a breakdown in the Ladies and Leanne of all people comforts her, which leads to Carla’s confession to Leanne about her love for Liam. Leanne, who decision making skills have led her to arson, to prostitution, to stealing lottery winnings, etc, etc, tells Carla to just ‘go for it!’. Carla, step away from the Battersby.
Hooch is once again snooping around the street trying to get to the BOTTOM of this case. Is it just me or does he seem to be spending an inordinately large amount of time try to bust someone for pickpocketing and hooliganism?
All the lads decide to get different national flags painted on their face and Dev choose the flag of India for Becky to put on his mug. He ends up with the flag of Japan. Why?
Well, here’s the flag of India…
I’m suspecting Becky has the same problems with that wheel thingy that I do with the maple leaf – which is why sometimes the cake we eat on July 1 is a ‘Japan Day’ cake.
July 30, 2009
I noticed something on Tuesday and if you have a pvr or some other recording device….do the ‘Leanne pours a pint over Dan’s head’ scene in slo-mo. You’ll notice that his hair is ALREADY wet as she pours the pint over. Methinks they had to do that scene over and over again. Methinks I also have waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on my hands.
Just to give you the 411 on the updates; we’re not back in full force yet. Your beloved updaters still have a few summer commitments (personally I’m busy trying to find my shrimp dumpling recipe), but we got our Shatnerian back and I’ll try to post updates when I can. Slowly but surely we’ll be back in September renewed and cheeky as ever.
Meanwhile last night saw:
Liam and Carla go on and on and on and on and on and on and on…..with no real resolution.
Tony’s stag (which by the way looks AMAZING with the Tony masks and ‘Tony’s Tartan Terrors’ shirts) is under way and he spends a lot of time make sly remarks to and about Liam all the while making those googly eyes. I don’t know…I’m kind of digging Tony right now. Oh who am I kidding I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Tony! But then I’ve always liked a good looking villian, me.
Rita offers Tina a job in the Kabin while Norris is off with a bad back. Glacia recommends ‘Rodney Yee’s Back Care Yoga’, ‘Rodney Yee’s Abs Yoga’ and ‘Rodney Yee’s AM/PM Yoga’ as a cure. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything….
D.C. Hooch comes ’round to question both Becky and Steve about their dirty affair.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand a menancing postcard arrives at the Webster’s doorstep. The back of the card has written out in magazine letters, ‘SOPHIE’S NEXT’. Ummmmm….the postman must have LOVED that one.
July 30, 2009
During last night’s episode, in which Tom has arranged the tackiest Scot-themed stag do this side of Gretna Green, the boys were given t-shirts with “Tony’s Tartan Terrors” on the front and “See You Jimmy” on the back.
The phrase, as I know it, is popular in Glasgow and generally means, “Now see here!”
See also: See You Jimmy Hats.
July 29, 2009
Press release from CBC:
CBC NEWS DELIVERS MORE LOCAL NEWS WITH
NEW 90-MINUTE SUPPER-HOUR NEWSCASTS
Beginning Monday, August 31, Canadians wanting more local news can turn to CBC News’ new 90-minute supper-hour newscasts. CBC News has extended its 60-minute newscast and moved it to an earlier timeslot, from 5-6:30 p.m. (local time), to better serve Canadians.
“Canadians want more local news and want more options of when to get it,” said Kirstine Layfield, CBC Television’s executive director of programming. “So we are extending CBC News against a larger local footprint.”
This initiative by the CBC demonstrates leadership in the Canadian television market at a time when the Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) has asked all broadcasters to invest more in their local stations.
“CBC News will deliver balanced, reliable, up-to-the-minute coverage with the background and depth needed to really understand the story,” said Jennifer McGuire, general manager and editor in chief, CBC News. “It’s really quite thrilling to be able to expand our local news coverage to better serve Canadians in an economic environment where the inclination could be to retreat.”
Coinciding with the expansion of local supper-hour newscasts, CORONATION STREET will air at 6:30 p.m., WHEEL OF FORTUNE at 7 p.m. and JEOPARDY at 7:30 p.m.
July 28, 2009
Broadcast date: October 10, 2008.
Big Liam Lets Little Liam Do The Thinking
Despite the fact that Liam should have caught on by now that Tony is on to him, he just can’t keep away from Carla, nor she him as despite some initial protests they’re in the bedroom getting her wedding dress off.
Back at the Rovers, Michelle and Tom are having a drink with Tony. Michelle mentions how great Carla’s wedding dress is and how even Liam liked. He popped over this evening with some info about the stag do, you see. This surprises Tony who takes his leave. Outside the Rovers, he looks like he is about to go from Bill Bixby to Lou Ferigno. Luckily, Lloyd’s cab is right there so he gets him to take him to Carla’s.
When he arrives, Liam and Carla have just barely gotten their clothes back on. Liam quickly exits, ignoring a call from Ovulating Maria. Tony kisses Carla, saying, “You taste nice”. I shudder to consider just what he is tasting.
Oh, Maria, this one’s for you:
As Liam walks home in the rain, Tony watches him from the balcony, as lightning lights up his enraged face. Tony swoops his black cape about him and strides back through the door.
Macdonald and Hooch
Steve’s not too keen on the idea of lying to the police about having an affair with Becky, given that Michelle would surely find out. Becky is sure that this will provide the alibi that she needs.
She also reckons that if they keep it discreet with the police, Michelle need never know. Otherwise, she’s going to blab about their one night stand (or twenty second stand, as Becky puts it).
Steve goes down to talk to D.C. Hooch (formerly of “Turner and…” fame) and confirms Becky’s story. Hooch, being the sharp reader of human nature that he is, can’t believe that Steve would go for Becky when he has Michelle.
Hooch, not being such a sharp reader of human nature, doesn’t get the very basic reason men cheat: because they think they can get away with it. From Bill Clinton to Silvio Berlesconi, it’s just how (some) men are wired.
When Steve arrives back, he tells Becky the news and they both reckon they’re home free, even if Michelle walking in on them still makes them jump.
In Other News
Darryl’s in the shed, macking on Amber when he is interupted by Teresa who suddenly needs to tell him that the kebab place can’t afford Tina. His mum offers herself in her place which Darryl refuses. So Teresa goes to the shop and insults Tina long enough for her quit. Though, really, she probably guessed as soon as Jerry left town, things were about to go downhill. She finds Darryl in the street and tells him she’s through selling dog meat to drunks.
Meanwhile, Rita, who needs some help in the shop, overhears Tina’s tirade and figures the girl has some promise.
“Well, she is loquacious. I’ll grant you that,” adds Emily.
Meanwhile, Tara Mandel, who reminds me of CBC’s Geeta Nadkarni (they have the same Mumbai accent) is trying to get her mack on with Dev but it’s all very awkward as Dev is worried about Nina’s spilling the beans about their own affair. She tries to kiss him but he backs off. She makes a quick exit. But what will become of the Manchester Asian Business Network?
Leanne and Dan are done. He says he could handle her being an ex-prossie but he couldn’t handle her being an ex-human being. For that, he gets a pint over his head.
The Websters have decided that, after confirming with King Bono of Ireland, Rosie is not over there that she may be in Holyhead, Wales. At least that’s what her postcard said. I imagine a postmark may confirm such a theory. Anyway, Bill and Sally are going to drive to Holyhead to look for her while Kevin and Sophie hold the fort.
July 28, 2009
Too riddled with guilt over Sally worrying about her daughter, Janice goes to the Websters and confesses about the lottery ticket. They fight over who gets to kill her first. Janice of course is now on everyone’s shit list at the factory and Roger ups and leaves her.
Kelly gets a job at the Rovers and while she’s behind the bar she tells Dan about the lottery scam. He is furious with Leanne, telling her that she is sick to mess around with a kid.
Liam is having some performance problems with Maria…but it’s only because he’s saving it all for Carla.
Becky gets arrested over her antics on the previous night. She tells the police that she was with Steve all night as her alibi. Steve of course is not happy to hear that he has to testify that he was with Becky all night…but Becky tells him that if he doesn’t she’ll tell Michelle about their 3 minute indiscretion.
Dev makes reference to The Krankies…. Fan-dabi-dozi.
After watching this….Mine, like Joolie’s, faith in humanity is shaken.
July 24, 2009
#1. Do not expose to men with commitment issues.
#2. Do not expose to water.
#3. Above all, no matter how much she begs and pleads do NOT feed Malt Liquor.
So last night Becky decides to go to work to forget her troubles, which almost works until Jason comes in to ‘explain’.
Oh Jason, Jason, Jason…leave it.
Anyway, this goes as well as expected and when Becky asks if he actually ever cared about her or if she was just the ‘caretaker’ girlfriend until Sarah came back, Jason hums and haws.
This leads to Becky:
Seriously, that girl…when she has a breakdown she has a BREAKDOWN.
Anyway, Steve finds her the drunken mess that she is and takes her to Roy’s – who takes care of her and tries to sober her up. Becky proclaims that Roy is the only decent man on earth and the only one she’ll love. Steve steps out of the shop … quickly.
Fizz picks of John from the hospital and when they get back to the street she tells him that she can’t give up on him and that she wants to give it another go. He ends up staying the night at her place after his own professions of love – and somewhere inside I just died a little.
Liam and Karla had a conversation, but I literally fast forwarded over it….I care JUST that much.
Leanne and Jance had a conversation (see my notes of the previous sentence).
July 23, 2009
I will leave the clarification of this matter to no less an authority than Judas Priest:
July 23, 2009
Who’s Peter Andre?
This is the work of genuis that is Peter Andre….
I think this video explains the baby oil and Toni and Guy Hair Paste shortage of 2007.
In update news….
Rosie is still missing and with the discovery of the bank statement sent to the Websters, everyone assumes she cashed the group lottery ticket and is off on a European tour.
After Darryl bails the singing mother out of the hoosgow, Mel decides that life is just too grim on the street. After an in depth discussion of ‘Another thing coming’ verses ‘Another think coming’ – she grabs a cab to parts unknown. And then there were two…the Mortons are leaving fast and furious.
Tony treats Carla, Liam and Maria to a weekend at a spa and while the gals are getting pedicures and wondering if Minnie Driver drives a Minnie…Tony takes Liam to a rather menancing trip to some slippery caves and asks him to be bestman at the wedding, then threatens to push him over the cliff. JUST KIDDING!!! Oh ho ho ho….I’m just having you on, mate. I’d never really push you over a cliff.
As Becky and Jason prepare to move into their new flat, Audrey lets it slip to Mr. Grimshaw that his WIFE is thinking coming back to Weatherfield. Jason, of course, is pretty much fully prepared to take her back and has been on the phone with her all the time…but he’s putting off telling Becky this. Michelle overhears David talk about Sarah’s return and confronts Jason about it and tells him that if he’s planning to get back with Sarah, he has to tell Becky. Jason, can be really a major wimp and says that he wants to see how things pan out with Sarah before telling Becky. I guess guilt gets the better of him though and he goes to Becky to give her the 411, up to and including that they’re thinking of getting back together. It goes as well as expected with Becky getting nasty and telling him to take a hike.
FYI, their flat looks NOTHING like the flat in ‘Friends’…but it is awfully cute.
John Stapes gets into a car accident. He survives, unfortunately.
Auntie Pam forgives the Japanese for war time atrocities and sells some Seeko watches to help pay for the wedding.
