Corrie Canuck

GUESS WOT.

Morning in the Morton house for the last time. Darryl asks Teresa, still in her dressing gown, if she’s packed yet. She has woken up in a militant mood; pissed at Jerry, pissed at the world, and pissed at Darryl, even though he let her crash and sponge. Darryl tells her it’s time to ship out. Teresa is petrified of course, at the prospect of getting a job and fending for herself. She slides some ciggies into her housecoat pocket and cons Darryl into going to the store to get her more. He leaves the house.

Darryl returns to find the door locked. From the upstairs window, Theresa cheerfully informs him both front and back are shut and bolted. She is squatting, apparently. Darryl says it’s freezing outside. She tosses down a hoodie. Darryl points out that Jerry has every right to do with his house as he sees fit. “You’d have made a good errand boy for HItler,” Teresa retorts.

Teresa lobs Darryl’s knapsack out the window, yelling and yapping about how hard Doz was to breastfeed. David and Tina have happened by, then Gail and Joe. Gail suggests that Teresa admit defeat; Teresa yells down to Gail that she needs a face, head and body transplant. The Platts offer to take Darryl for a hot drink, but he says he has to remain there on mentalist watch.

A loud, beat up blue van pulls up and disgorges the new tenants…all four Windasses. Darryl sees them and explains that there is a bit of a standoff underway. He, of course, doesn’t have a clue who they are. Darryl, the soul of patience, is still attempting to dislodge Teresa in ways other than by force. Gary Windass just wants to kick the door in…Doz begs him not to. The WIndasses give him an hour to rectify the situation.

Amber Alahan returns to the street. She gives Darryl a  big hug and kiss…he is happy to see her but has to get going and solve his problem. Back in front of the house, Darryl has resorted to dropping money in the letterbox to entice Teresa out. Mom Windass brings Doz a hot drink.

In Dev’s a reunited Dev and Amber are hugging, happy to see one another. Amber doesn’t waste any time bringing Dev up to speed on Darryl’s housing problem. She says they will have to get a place together; Dev says no way, but offers the spare room.

The Windasses have returned, out of patience. Gary takes his Da’s crutch and smashes the window. Inside, they find Teresa has handcuffed herself to both the oven door and a cupboard. She is singing rebel songs loudly, and has no idea where the handcuff key is. In short order, the Windasses have thrown Teresa, still tethered to one stove door and one cupboard front, out into the street.

Joe and Gail come around the corner, at first amused by Teresa snarling like a cougar on the curb. Tina and David are returning at the same time…and they all stare in shock at the new neighbours…the Windasses. There goes the neighbourhood!!

Something doesn't add up, Ozzy....

MARIA CONNOR…GIRL DETECTIVE

The new day finds our girl sleuth Maria still feverishly on the case; determined to puzzle together clues that make no sense.

She asking Tom, her permanent appendage and sounding board, why Pat would lie. She absolutely must talk to Tony, but his phone is still switched off. Maria finds it bizarre that Tony booked the swanky weekend away for the four of them after seeing “the kiss”. Tom tells her to stop torturing herself. Maria says that no one realizes the truth will set her free to move on – it’s the not knowing driving her crazy. For whatever reason, Tom is still being utterly daft to the possibility that Liam and Carla were together.

Later, Maria sits alone on the Maxine Peacock bench. Tom and Ozzy happen by. Maria says she likes the cold air on her face…Liam always kept the house like a sauna. She says Liam would be gone for hours sometimes while walking Ozzy. She repeats again that she needs to talk to Tony. She is sure Tony hated Liam and just can’t puzzle out the best man thing. She says she’s not losing the plot…they were having an affair…and Tony knew.

SOUR CHARITY

In the cab office, Eileen is listening very, very, very patiently as Emily drones on about the fact that she is training a new volunteer in the tea and charity shop at the hospital…someone who is serving out her community service. Emily says she plans to show her faith in the trainee by leaving her purse out in the open and giving the newcomer a chance to rebuild her faith in the world.

Janice Battersby arrives at the hospital….apparently she is Emily’s trainee. Emily is less than thrilled, but determined to make the best of it. Janice is gung-ho, expecting a tour of duty in the emergency room. She is dismayed to hear the job entails washing up, clearing tables and sorting through jumble. She is also surprised to learn that Emily has to give a report to Janice’s case worker.

IN OTHER NEWS

Molly return home and as she greets Tyrone, she smells the same cheap, reeky perfume she smelled off Minnie, who came into Dev’s earlier. Molly becomes increasingly suspicious of Tyrone’s gym alibi. She tells Tyrone she herself needs to tone up and says she’ll accompany him to the gym. Tyrone makes the uh-oh face.

Such a nice young man

I have to say that I have always thought that the addition of the character Tom Connor on the Street was a bit odd. He is a Connor cousin and yes he went into business with Liam, but his raison d’etre is a bit up in the air, in my opinion.

While I do like the character he doesn’t really fit the bill as street totty like Jason Grimshaw. He isn’t funny enough for the comedy relief like Tyrone Dobbs. He isn’t quirky like Royston Cropper and he doesn’t really fit a highly dramatic role Like David Platt. So, I don’t know that Tom has a long future on the show. Since he is a Connor I have a suspicion of what is going to happen to this character.

Who thinks tom will eventually meet his end on the roads of Northern England? How many of us think booze will be involved? Who among us will dare to say that there may be some fowl play?  Finally, will Michelle continue to insist that the Connor boys are actually choirboys?

Such a terribe dispatch

Maria's soo to be published manuscript

The show opens with the Maria and Liam saga. Maria is playing keepsies with Rosie’s phone. * At the Websters, Rosie is demanding that her mother go and collect it.  Kevin steps in and Rosie leaves for work, but not before threatening her mother with a note in her permanent file.

Over the road, Maria is obsessing over Liam and Carla while Michelle, always the picture of sober thought where her brothers are concerned, tries to reassure her that Liam would never stray. Kevin comes in and after some fast hands, Michelle manages to snatch the phone from Maria and give it to Kevin. Kevin promises to see that the video is erased one he gets home.

Later Tom swings by for his turn in the hot seat.  He denies knowing anything but does say that he once suspected something.
I am not clear on something here. Does Michelle think that Liam and Carla were “at it” and is just trying to get Maria not to worry about it since Liam is dead and no Connor’s “good” name can be stained after the inevitable car accident that kills them? Or, does she think Maria is wrong?

Maria, continuing her investigative rampage, confronts Leanne in the bookies. I have no idea why Maria thought she could get an honest answer out of Leanne. Hello, Leanne was Carla’s maid of honour and an accomplished liar. Peter soon puts an end to the interrogation, which Leanne is thankful for.

Maria “Super-sleuth” Sutherland-Connor decides to ambush Rosie outside the factory at dinnertime where she learns that Tony knew all about the little video on Rosie’s phone. This bows Maria’s mind. What could it all mean?

*To the best of recollection Rosie’s phone was tossed into the drink after she tried to seduce Tony.  They must have really advanced telecommunications packages in the UK because when I get a new phone NOTHING from the previous phone is on it.

The Plats new kitchen has gone in and Tina’s dad has sourced some of the posh stuff for the counter tops. This annoys Tina to no end as she feels that Gail and David and taking advantage of him. Seems like Tina knows her dad pretty well.

In the back yard a little later Joe tries to smooth things over with Tina and assures her that things are ok this time and that he is fine. Sure he is.

Becky is in a fowl mood and I am loving it. She is all attitude all day long.  The source of her sour is Steve and his “plan” to be a bad boyfriend. It is essentially the romantic version of constructive dismissal. However, later when Liz tells Becky what a prat Steve is being, it is clear that he is actually putting his plan into action.

In Other News

Peter shows actual concern for Simon

Amber’s friend Mini has problems with her Mini and Tyrone tries to sell her perfume.

Kev making room for some more free beer

Joe stops by The Kabin and Tina overhears him on the phone talking about his new tools. She wonders where her dad got the dosh for new tools since the bank turned him down already. Joe tells her he got a loan from a finance company, which Tina thinks is a bad idea. Joe tells her that ‘You have to speculate to accumulate.’ (same thing Auntie Pam told Tyrone a while back)

Graeme is still at the bookies watching his horses keep winning. Peter is waiting for it all the end, oblivious to the time, and to his cell phone it would seem. At the salon Deirdre gets a call from the school wondering why no one has come to collect Simon. She tries to call Peter, to no avail, and then calls Ken at the library to tell him to collect his grandson at the school.

Peter eventually realizes what time it is, and after he has paid Graeme his winnings of 340 pounds and 50 pence, rushes butcher boy out of the betting shop, sadly before Graeme can finish his victory dance. Peter rushes to get his son, and runs into Ken and Deirdre bringing Simon home. Peter seems sincere in his efforts, but Ken tells him that he has to do better, and offers to help in the future.

Becky and Steve continue their drinking game in the pub, and think it would be a grand idea for five minutes of passion in the back room, if they can only get rid of Blanche and Jed. This plan does not come to fruition however, as they decide to have another round on Blanche’s ’slate’, and then Norris and Mary also come in, and get their drinks bought for them, again on Blanche’s ’slate’. Norris orders half a bitter instead of his usual sherry, which elicits a response from Jed. Norris tells him he is a man of varied tastes. Blanche looks at Mary and replies ‘So I see’. When Norris and Mary sit down with them some comments are made about the new cuff links Norris is wearing. ‘Gold’ says Mary. ‘And I’m Catherine the Great’ says Blanche. ‘Mary the Magnificent’ replies Mary as she extends her hand in greeting. Blanche, for once, is speechless.

Norris and Tina are ‘working’, which constitutes Norris trying to change the ring tone on his phone from ‘Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Were Hot like Me’ to that old Tom Jones classic ‘Delilah’, in honour of his grandmother. Mary stops by to visit Norris and give him one her competiton prizes, some cuff links. The awkward courtship contniues. Back at his place Norris shows Mary the turf aerator shoes he won recently in a rose naming contest, and since Mary actually has a garden of sorts, he insists that she take them. Jed is sat in the living room waiting for one of his programs to come on, ‘The World’s Worst Shark Attacks’, so Mary and Norris decide to go for a walk.
Blanche is slumped over in the booth later and Steve and Becky wonder if she has shuffled off this mortal coil. Becky gets a mirror and holds it under her nose and affirms that Blanche is still alive.

At the wedding reception the food is being served and Janice is complaining that they have to eat standing up. Everyone else seems to be enjoying the grub while Leanne, who appears to have learned something in one of her earlier careers, explains what it is they are eating. Janice is annoyed further when she hears that raw fish is being served.

Tony and Carla have a tender husband and wife moment.

Carla tells Ryan not to film her, afraid that her true identity as a vampire might be revealed. (or is that mirrors?) She tells him that no matter what happens, she will always be his auntie, which makes her seem almost human.

Maria and Carla then have a sentimental moment and share a hug. Sally, steadily getting sloshed, mutters sotto voce that Carla is a two faced hypocritical tart who has a lot of brass to slag off her family.

Tony takes center stage and tells everyone that there will be no speeches, due to the tough year that it has been. Kevin makes a snide comment, before he and Carla snipe at each other for a bit. Tony makes a toast to Liam, something to the effect that he will never be forgotten. Sally muses about Maria knowing the truth regarding Liam.

Tony tells Carla about his surprise honeymoon plans.

Sally finds Maria crying in the bathroom, sad at the memories of her marriage to Liam. ‘I never thought I deserved him’ says Maria, ‘He was so perfect’. Sally tells Maria that Liam doesn’t deserve her tears, and tells about the affair that Liam was having with Carla. Maria is incredulous upon hearing this, but Rosie shows up at this moment and after a bit of caterwauling, her phone is produced and Maria is shown the video of Carla and Liam kissing outside her flat.

Cue the extended montage of Maria destroying the necklace Liam gave her, Carla and Tony getting into the car, Maria running around frantically shouting out for Carla, all while ‘Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life’ by Green day plays in the background.

Maria comes outside just as the nelyweds pull away. Cousin Tom wonders what is wrong and Maria makes a comment about how that bitch (Carla) was screwing her husband.

Kevin, suddenly sobered up, tells Sally and Rosie ‘Let’s go home – now’.

The remnants of the wedding show up at The Rovers and Maria is royally pissed off. She accuses Michelle and Tom of knowing about the affair all along, and tells them that doesn’t want anything to do with their family anymore, before telling Tom to ‘Do one’.

Steve looks vaguely guilty at this mention of infedlity.

Maria goes to the Websters, bangs on the door and demands that she be given the phone with the damning evidence. Sal gives Maria the phone eventually, ruing that she ever brought the affair up in the first place.

Maria goes home to a dark home, slumps against the wall and watches her beloved husband caught in flagrante. Ever faithful Ozzie is the only creature left to comfort her.

I went to a Scots wedding a couple years ago. I made the mistake of touching the Piper’s pipes. Don’t ever do this, unless you enjoy red-faced little men from Aberdeen spraying you with spittle as the groomsman tries to intevene.

Aaaaanyway, the day of this particular Scots wedding has dawned. Pat and Tony have their clothes and are heading home to dress. Pat watches as Tony circulates with his neighbours being fakey-nice. Tony then invites Pat for breakfast, his treat.

Tom has seen off Helen and Barry, and called in at Maria’s. He offers his support and says he’ll be there for her and the baby.

Steve emerges from his pit in his robe, unshaven. Michelle has had to take Amy to school and is in a bitchy mood. Steve tells her to calm down and keep her bob on. She becomes snarky in about 7 seconds flat. Despite the ulterior motive, and acknowledging that Amy is Steve’s responsibility…I love hearing Steve tell Michelle that she doesn’t run the western hemisphere. Sweeeeeeet.

Leanne shows up at Carla’s, bright and enthusiastic She wants to be sure that Carla is doing the right thing, and Carla assures her it never would have worked out with Liam…Leanne breaks out the champagne.

Blanche is at the Barlow’s table, grousing that they weren’t invited to the wedding, and about the lunch tomato soup. She says the guests will be knee-deep in lobster and expensive champagne. Deirdre offers to put a fizzy aspirin in some white wine and Blanche can sip it wearing a big hat.

Michelle emerges from her room, all done up for the wedding in green viscose. Steve is still in the stove. Michelle is infuriated because the cab is coming in 10 minutes. She tells him to stay and fiddle with his pilot light all afternoon. She says Liam would be disgusted with him.

At Maria’s, Ryan points out that Steve and Michelle have been rowing all morning. Maria, morose in turquoise, comes down the stairs. She can’t believe Liam is not there. Michelle cheers her up and they decide nothing will spoil their day.

Outside, Tony is resplendent in the Gordon tartan (I’m assuming…no research) and full kit. The Websters are leaving as well; Kevin shoots daggers at Tony. Tony is edgy, expecting those that have a beef with him to spoil the day in some way.

Having a wee fag.

The guests are arriving at the swanky venue. Sally sighs and gushes over the rosé champagne; Rosie thinks she’s calling her name, “Ros-ay!” as usual. Sally says she feels “right at home” in the posh environment. Sean mentions Marcus would be thrilled that Maria’s baby is healthy, but they are never in touch. Sad. Kelly wants to eat Pat for brekky on toast. Sean tells her to keep her smalls on. A few more jokes ensue; Sally sucks up to Tony saying it’s a privilege to be there. Vicki could not attend but has sent a symbolic Polish wedding gift of bread and salt.

Carla has chosen eggplant for her dress. She and Leanne enter, to bagpipes. Carla looks gorgeous; when Tom tells her, she replies, “I know.”

C'mon it's a great colour....

Tony and Carla exchange their vows, as Maria looks on, weeping. Sean wonders if marriage will make either of them a nicer person. They are pronounced husband and wife, and the piper enthusiastically continues.

Pat continues to spread anecdotes about Tony; Tony keeps trying to play them down…and then the subject of his first wife comes up. The factory workers are loving the scandals. The guests are getting annoyed that the piper is still playing…

Carla goes over to say hi to the Websters – Kevin is totally sloshed, and in trying to see if there is a price on the collar of Sally’s dress, dumps his food all over Carla’s dress. Tony comes over, glaring and ready for a fight, but Carla sends him off to get more bubbly. Once he’s gone, she takes Sally down a peg, saying there’s a pub with a pool table over the road, where her family would be more comfortable, if they can’t behave.

“If anyone knew,” Sally grumbles when she leaves, “half the stuff that cow’s been up to.”

Becky walks into the silent pub, and is surprised to see Steve. Steve has moved from the pilot light to the broken jukebox. Steve tells her they get to spend the day together “like a date”. Becky sees that Steve’s can’t fix the jukebox; she looks it over and gives it a calculated whack and begins boogying. Steve joins in as Blanche walks in…for her free gin.

Becky has lined up a game of around the board. A drink every half-hour starting with the lightest tap offerings and toward the heaviest. Steve says they’ll get bladdered.

Graeme comes in to the bookies’ place a bet; he really doesn’t care which horses. He picks Cloth Ears, and Thriller Night….and pops his best Michael Jackson with his butcher’s hat and metal glove – well done!

As the day begins, Leanne and Carla are going dress shopping, leaving Tony in charge of the factory. Maria appears in the street to chat with them, sporting a new darker hair colour which clashes with plaid and makes her look like the saddest girl in the world.

Steve meanwhile sneaks in the back door of the pub. He is on the phone to Becky, saying operation Bad Boyfriend begins that morning. Liz is whining because she had to take Amy to school. Steve grouses about the relatives.  Liz picks up on Steve’s snarkiness and wants to know what’s up.

Outside, little Simon Barlow doesn’t want to go to school; Peter’s encouragement, “do you want to be thick, like me?” is not having the desired effect. Ken and Deirdre come out of the house and Ken paints a much rosier picture of school, where Simon’s new buddies will be, and Christmas stuff will be going on. He agrees to give it a shot.

At the factory Sally, whose new, short do is very flattering, welcomes Rosie back to work. Rosie lets it slip that she will be running the factory during the Gordons’ honeymoon. Sally gently points out that Rosie has zero experience. Rosie storms off.

A package has come for Norris – another contest winning. Jed Stone has brought it to the Kabin. Norris had been hoping to win second-prize, a foot spa. Rita and Jed razz Norris, saying the package is from ‘the girlfriend’. Jed remarks that girls that age take some keeping up with. Rosie comes in, gushing that Norris’ prize, which is a new phone, is slammin. Norris gets a text from Mary; apparently she has won the coveted foot spa.

Tony Gordon comes in, and finally comes face-to-face with Jed again. Tony, embarrassed, points out for Norris and Rita’s benefit that it was he who called the ambulance. Once out in the street, Tony is accosted by Barry Connor; he wants Tony and Carla to come for drinks so Helen can make it up with Carla. Jed comes out telling Barry that Tony will have his wallet if he stands there any longer. Once Barry leaves, Tony asks Jed point-blank what he wants. Jed wants a decent price for everything Tony took – and Tony does not scare him.

Leanne and Carla come into the Rovers; Leanne is slagging Carla for picking the very first dress at the very first shop she saw. Michelle and Liz are equally aghast, although the dress apparently looks good.

A visitor has arrived at the factory; it’s Tony’s brother Pat, who looks nothing like him but sports a nice matching accent. Tony seems glad to see him, but also a little wary.

Jed is in the bookies’ placing a bet. Leanne pops in, and Peter asks her to look after Simon. Simon has a very cute conversation with Leanne about his new friends Ellis and Riley. Peter asks Leanne for a drink later, planning to pawn Simon off on Ashley for a play date.

The Gordon brothers and Carla come into the Rovers. Tony tells Pat, “I don’t expect you to shatter everyone’s illusions about me,” and we get the idea he means it.

Helen is inviting Maria to spend Christmas with them…she steps away for a moment to apologize to Carla. Barry notices that Steve is AWOL. The Connors are speculating about Steve marrying Michelle; Becky overhears and takes it as a done deal.

Leanne comes in and joins Peter, who has gotten rid of Simon at Ashley’s Leanne asks Peter about being a bigamist. They have a chuckle over the fact that neither of them has the most pristine reputation. Ken noses over, only to ask where Simon is, and how he enjoyed school.

Kevin is in full Tony-hating mode; he is happy to swap stories with Jed. Jed tells the Websters his tale of woe. Tony overhears a little; they trade barbs. Maria is chatting with Pat; Pat lets it slip that he and Tony never fell out…Tony sees his illusions starting to unravel, and realizes that he must follow Pat around shoring up things for the forseeable future.

Steve comes outside and Becky is in the smoking shelter. She congratulates him on his “wedding”. Steve is clueless, having no idea what she is on about. Becky is unconvinced; she has decided that Steve loves Michelle and is just using her as a shag. Becky says she won’t be part of any more back-room jiggy until Steve is a free man.

We here at Corrie Canuck usually have something to say about the writers that bring us our daily dose. The quality of their output can range from brilliant to clueless, and everything in between. I am one who normally ignores the pain of poor construction, but found myself dragging my dinner fork across my arm at the manufactured tensions and hysterics produced by Steve’s dilemma: put up balloons or keep a friend out of prison. The entire roadblock placed before him in the form of Barry and Helen’s party reminded me of….well…..

So without further ado, here is the skinny:

Our story begins in the Rovers, and Steve Tripper looks as though he’s going to leave Becky Chrissy hanging. Michelle Janet decides the morning should be spent taking her parents shopping. Development! This would free Steve Tripper up in the morning for court. Yay!

Barry and Helen mention they have some presents for Maria’s baby. Barry then says more or less that he doesn’t want to be roped into shopping and asks what Steve is up to. Oh no! Michelle notes however that Steve will be very busy all morning – getting the food organized and decorating the pub. Now there are streamers blocking Chrissy’s road to freedom.

Barry sits Steve down at one point and tells him that should he wish to marry Michelle, he has a lifetime supply of Advil their blessing.

Over at Maria’s, it’s a soggy cryfest when Liam’s parent’s drop in. Maria mentions it’s the little things that stop a grieving person from moving on. Hey, anyone else notice that Helen looks like Auntie Pam’s sister? Just sayin’.

Maria says she misses having someone to do nothing with. She reveals she is too frightened to go for her scan alone; Helen offers to go along with her. Holy Kleenex.

Steve meanwhile comes into the cab office and begs Lloyd to put up the decorations so he can go to court. Lloyd winds him up a bit, but he’ll be there. Yay, now Steve can go to court!

Back at the Rovers, Michelle then decides she wants Steve to go to the photo place and blow up a wedding picture of Barry and Helen for the party. And he can do it in the morning! Oh no! (laugh track).

Steve is out back having a fag to get his head around the massively complex set of variables before him. Becky comes out. She tells him rather sadly that in the end it’s her responsibility…he’s off the hook in terms of testifying. She will neither expect him there nor pressure him. As the scene fades, we see her scared little face.

All in the Family

Amber Alahan lugs a suitcase the size of a chest freezer down Coronation Street street as Dev follows, harassing her about her decision to go to Finland. She’s well pissed off about Dev’s seemingly deliberate plans to break up her and Meathead.

Darryl meets her, and they say a sad goodbye, sealed with a kiss as Dev looks on. The young sweethearts exchange ‘I love you’s’.

Later, Dev is in the kebab shop, attempting to prepare a kebab for David. His atrocious slicing skills make Norris look like the Iron Chef. In frustration he calls Minnie/Lauren to come in and take over, but she says she has college.

Darryl and Graeme happen by, and orders a meal combo Dev knows nothing about, including a milkshake. Vanilla. Dev’s attempts to whip one up results in a geiser eruption from the blender. Darryl is highly amused. Dev realizes that he needs someone to run the kebab shop, and offers the job to Darryl very grudgingly. Meathead says he’ll have a think.

Later, Dev is trying to fix the blender when Darryl waltzes in, having typed up a set of conditions, which includes a hefty raise and bonuses. Dev goes from “no fucking way,” to “okay, dammit!” in about a nanosecond. Thus Darryl improves his own situation fairly quickly.

Now we need Darryl, Tina, Graeme and David to get a flat!! It would be like an episode of friends where the guys don’t look like wax mannequins!

Earlier that day, as David strolls along on the phone, sorting a Kozy Kitchens customer, Badass Mini Windass is on the corner trying to wind him up about the car; David stupidly says the Audi was knicked…setting off the whole feud again.

Frazier

Hailey is wandering the neighbourhood in her anorak. She pops into the Rovers to reassure Becky. Becky lets her know that the sitch is a little more dire than Hailey imagined. Hailey admits that although Becky has a knack for stepping in it, her straightforwardness and balls will serve her well.

Later, she meets up with Fiz, who fills her in on Psycho John. Fiz shares that she wanted to move away, and then realized she was over-reacting…her life and her friends are there.

Hailey finally returns to the Cafe. She tells Roy she wants to talk again. Roy is understandably agitated as the ‘talks’ have sort of sucked lately. Hailey is trying to determine her next step in terms of work. Roy suggests that Hailey might consider a career as a professional counsellor.

In Other News

Fiz pops into Maria’s for tea. While she is there, the reporter Hanna Steele knocks on the door. She wants to talk about, and then to Fiz, saying some people think she’s had a part in Rosie’s kidnapping. Fiz is nearly sucked in by this manipulation, but then clams up. Steele gives her a business card, in case.

Becky, who is delighted to hear from Roy that Hayley is staying in Weatherfield, is asked by Michelle if she can work all day Wednesday to help with an anniversary party for her parents, who are coming in from Ireland.

Becky says she isn’t sure that she can as she doesn’t want to tell her about the court date which means revealing to Michelle that she and Steve concocted an alibi that involved them having an affair during the offense in question. She later calls Steve, who is in the presence of Michelle and Liz to tell him what’s up. He then asks Michelle if this is an all-day thing and if so, he may have to take off for a spell. Michelle quashes that idea by telling him she’ll need him all day.

Later, Becky comes to see Steve to ask if he’ll make it to the trial. He says he will but Becky isn’t so sure, especially when Michelle suggests to Becky that Steve will be indisposed that day. By the time The Connors arrive, Steve is trying to get out this day but Michelle tells him that with Paul and Liam gone, they’re all they have. So it’s not looking good for ol’ Becks.

Oh, Olaf

Hayley puts in an appearance at Underworld where she is met by a rather snotty Julie but is otherwise greeted warmly by her co-workers. When she meets Tony Gordon to ask for her supervisor job back, she suddenly gets cold feet and hightails it out of there (just as well – are they getting paid yet?). Fizz is eventually offered the job as Julie is bumped down to machinist.

Hayley eventually goes to Roy and tells the real reason she wanted to go back to Africa was not because of the work she was doing but because of Olaf, a dashing Swede who charmed all the ladies with his folk songs. She felt jealous of her friend Tilly who had a fling with him. Roy forgives her, saying there is probably a Swedish folk song about not throwing out the one you love.

Is it this song?

Muut uutiset

Amber is going to Finland to visit her mum for a while to punish Dev for what he did to Darryl. Lauren Minnie, meanwhile, has asked Dev for a job in the kebab shop. And Dev is all, “Tara Who?”

Graeme is chuffed that the Windarses solved his stolen car problem by stealing the car themselves. Meanwhile, Ashley is training Graeme as an apprentice butcher.

“What’s the proper way to clean a knife?”

“Lick it!”

Fizz and Ches arrive back from South Africa. They vow to never speak of experience ever again. Or just lie and tell everyone that they had a good time.

As you know, Fizz has taken off to South Africa to join Kirk and Ches and Cilla. Are we viewers in Canada going to see this? Eh, probably not. It was released on DVD in the UK last year at this point in the storylines and was intended as a spin-off that doesn’t directly impact on any ongoing plots.

I’m not even sure you can buy the DVD in Canada but there are, thanks to the internets, other means to see programmes not available here in the frozen colonies.

Diane/Tvor, who writes the excellent Bluenose Corrie Blogger, has a detailed review of the episode available here. It looks like it was a bit of fun.

This is not related in any way shape or form to Coronation Street, but I found the choice of the name ‘Windass’ for the new bad family on the show an interesting one. There is an English footballer named Dean Windass, who has been playing for years, and has quite a reputation as a nasty peice of work, even managing to get three red cards in a single game.