Update For Epiosde #6959 September 18, 2009

Kev making room for some more free beer

Joe stops by The Kabin and Tina overhears him on the phone talking about his new tools. She wonders where her dad got the dosh for new tools since the bank turned him down already. Joe tells her he got a loan from a finance company, which Tina thinks is a bad idea. Joe tells her that ‘You have to speculate to accumulate.’ (same thing Auntie Pam told Tyrone a while back)

Graeme is still at the bookies watching his horses keep winning. Peter is waiting for it all the end, oblivious to the time, and to his cell phone it would seem. At the salon Deirdre gets a call from the school wondering why no one has come to collect Simon. She tries to call Peter, to no avail, and then calls Ken at the library to tell him to collect his grandson at the school.

Peter eventually realizes what time it is, and after he has paid Graeme his winnings of 340 pounds and 50 pence, rushes butcher boy out of the betting shop, sadly before Graeme can finish his victory dance. Peter rushes to get his son, and runs into Ken and Deirdre bringing Simon home. Peter seems sincere in his efforts, but Ken tells him that he has to do better, and offers to help in the future.

Becky and Steve continue their drinking game in the pub, and think it would be a grand idea for five minutes of passion in the back room, if they can only get rid of Blanche and Jed. This plan does not come to fruition however, as they decide to have another round on Blanche’s ‘slate’, and then Norris and Mary also come in, and get their drinks bought for them, again on Blanche’s ‘slate’. Norris orders half a bitter instead of his usual sherry, which elicits a response from Jed. Norris tells him he is a man of varied tastes. Blanche looks at Mary and replies ‘So I see’. When Norris and Mary sit down with them some comments are made about the new cuff links Norris is wearing. ‘Gold’ says Mary. ‘And I’m Catherine the Great’ says Blanche. ‘Mary the Magnificent’ replies Mary as she extends her hand in greeting. Blanche, for once, is speechless.

Norris and Tina are ‘working’, which constitutes Norris trying to change the ring tone on his phone from ‘Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Were Hot like Me’ to that old Tom Jones classic ‘Delilah’, in honour of his grandmother. Mary stops by to visit Norris and give him one her competiton prizes, some cuff links. The awkward courtship contniues. Back at his place Norris shows Mary the turf aerator shoes he won recently in a rose naming contest, and since Mary actually has a garden of sorts, he insists that she take them. Jed is sat in the living room waiting for one of his programs to come on, ‘The World’s Worst Shark Attacks’, so Mary and Norris decide to go for a walk.
Blanche is slumped over in the booth later and Steve and Becky wonder if she has shuffled off this mortal coil. Becky gets a mirror and holds it under her nose and affirms that Blanche is still alive.

At the wedding reception the food is being served and Janice is complaining that they have to eat standing up. Everyone else seems to be enjoying the grub while Leanne, who appears to have learned something in one of her earlier careers, explains what it is they are eating. Janice is annoyed further when she hears that raw fish is being served.

Tony and Carla have a tender husband and wife moment.

Carla tells Ryan not to film her, afraid that her true identity as a vampire might be revealed. (or is that mirrors?) She tells him that no matter what happens, she will always be his auntie, which makes her seem almost human.

Maria and Carla then have a sentimental moment and share a hug. Sally, steadily getting sloshed, mutters sotto voce that Carla is a two faced hypocritical tart who has a lot of brass to slag off her family.

Tony takes center stage and tells everyone that there will be no speeches, due to the tough year that it has been. Kevin makes a snide comment, before he and Carla snipe at each other for a bit. Tony makes a toast to Liam, something to the effect that he will never be forgotten. Sally muses about Maria knowing the truth regarding Liam.

Tony tells Carla about his surprise honeymoon plans.

Sally finds Maria crying in the bathroom, sad at the memories of her marriage to Liam. ‘I never thought I deserved him’ says Maria, ‘He was so perfect’. Sally tells Maria that Liam doesn’t deserve her tears, and tells about the affair that Liam was having with Carla. Maria is incredulous upon hearing this, but Rosie shows up at this moment and after a bit of caterwauling, her phone is produced and Maria is shown the video of Carla and Liam kissing outside her flat.

Cue the extended montage of Maria destroying the necklace Liam gave her, Carla and Tony getting into the car, Maria running around frantically shouting out for Carla, all while ‘Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life’ by Green day plays in the background.

Maria comes outside just as the nelyweds pull away. Cousin Tom wonders what is wrong and Maria makes a comment about how that bitch (Carla) was screwing her husband.

Kevin, suddenly sobered up, tells Sally and Rosie ‘Let’s go home – now’.

The remnants of the wedding show up at The Rovers and Maria is royally pissed off. She accuses Michelle and Tom of knowing about the affair all along, and tells them that doesn’t want anything to do with their family anymore, before telling Tom to ‘Do one’.

Steve looks vaguely guilty at this mention of infedlity.

Maria goes to the Websters, bangs on the door and demands that she be given the phone with the damning evidence. Sal gives Maria the phone eventually, ruing that she ever brought the affair up in the first place.

Maria goes home to a dark home, slumps against the wall and watches her beloved husband caught in flagrante. Ever faithful Ozzie is the only creature left to comfort her.

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