Fred trips the light fantastic at the Annual Brewery Dinner Dance.
Trying to get over my unhappy childhood
It is morning on the street and we are treated to a good-bye snog between Tracey and Satan, I mean Charlie, in his doorway. Tracey tells Charlie ‘thank you for having me’ (so to speak) like Deirdre told her to do when she stays over at a friends.
Nathan sees the two lovebirds (as in lonely narcissists) and does not seem to be too bothered by it all.
Tracey returns to Number 1 where Ken and Deirdre are having their morning brew, in an understandable state of agitation at where their daughter has been all night. Deirdre gives Tracey some stick about her parenting skills (or lack thereof) telling her ‘don’t worry, Amy’s fine’ – she is off with Liz somewhere. (no doubt shopping at ‘Cougars R’Us)
After a period of inquisition Tracey tells her parents that she spent the night with Charlie, to which Ken replies ‘Are you mad or stupid?’ A little of both I think.
Tracey justifies her behaviour as a way of ‘trying to get over my unhappy childhood.’
Later we see Ken and Deirdre in The Rovers chatting over a (half) pint to see what they did wrong in the child rearing process. They can think of nothing they did wrong, leaving to Deirdre to admit about Tracey that ‘she’s horrible’ and the best they can do is ignore her cry for attention and hope Charlie dies a nasty lingering death in the very near future.
Should I join a gym?
Fred has an invite to the Annual Brewery Dinner Dance. Shel and Bev have a bet about who Fred will ask to go with him to the big event. There is much coy behaviour by the women, Fred seems to want to join a gym for some reason, a fiver changes hands a few times but it all works out in the end – Fred and Bev are going to the do together. Perhaps the beginning of a romance? I for one would be happy to see it.
No Jason in my house
Jason and Sarah, young and in lust, are frustated in their efforts to do the horizontal limbo by their respective mothers who will not allow either of them in each others houses. Jason, the romantic fool that he is, suggests the builders yard for a tryst. (sorry about that nail in your ass dear) (no pun intended there – really) However, Charlie shows up and ruins this brain storm.
The two are left with no option but to hang out in The Rovers and canoodle in a booth, ruining everyones appetites. Alcohol sales do go up though. Mother Montague and Mother Caplulet snipe at each other at the bar until Sean does his impersonation of a gay Kofi Annan and brings peace between the two factions. Gail insists that there is a truce in place, but this seems unlikely.
The plan to keep the dim-witted duo apart falls apart though when Charlie gives them the keys to his flat so they can have a little privacy.
Charlie orders two pints of ‘wifebeater’ from Shel, who is suitably unimpressed.
You look like a kicked dog
Steve is still miffed at Ronnie because she has let a flat of her own instead of moving in with him. It seems her staying at his flat the past while she was in trouble was just Ronnie finding any port in a storm. And he was going to take her on holiday so he wouldn’t have to give any of his earnings or chattel to Karen in the divorce. Who says romance is dead.
Steve and Eileen deabte commitment in the office of Streetcars. No great conclusions of any consequence are reached.
Frankie comes in with their lunch order and moans about how skint she is. Eileen tells her whenever she needs some money she just raises the rent of whoever is living in her house. (that hardly seems fair – or legal) All and sundry are shocked to discover Frankie isn’t charging her son and the ‘alcofrolic’ any rent.
Eileen and Lloyd engage in some strange code on the radio.
Gird your loins
Sal and Kev decide it’s time to go visit the relatives from the other side of the family and put a stop to the bad influence Nicolette is being on their Sophie. Kev wants to clean up from the garage before going over but Sally insists it won’t be necessary, beacuse ‘they’re scum’.
They arrive at in very lovely neighbourhood with no abandoned fridges or burnt cars anywhere in sight. They come up to a very nice house and are greeted quite cordially at the door by cousin Paul, who shakes the greasy hand of Kev. (he could have at least washed his hands) They gather in a delightful sitting room with soothing classical music playing in the background. It turns out Paul and his wife are lecturers and have done quite well for themselves.
Sal and Kev try to tell them how ‘Nicorette’ is being a bad influence on their daughter, how ‘their litle witch’ is corrupting darling Sophie.
Paul and his wife tell them that Nicolette was fine till she fell under the influence of the Webster clan.
Sal calls the two of them ‘sandal wearing fakes.’
Paul tells Sal she is a ‘screeching bleach blonde harpy.’ (good line)
The parents agree that it is best for the girls not to see each other. After the Websters leave Paul confirms with his wife that the other side of the family are ‘scrapings from the bottom of the gene pool.’
In the end everyone is happy at the Webster household, with Kev going to the chippy to get some unhealthy for the family, so they eat it out of the paper in front of the telly, and be true to their Weatherfield roots.
Larry, Moe and Curly
Steve, Lloyd and Nathan are in The Rovers having some sort of a contest debating who is better off in their respective female relationship status.
Kelly comes in for a drink, and Lloyd isinspired to get back into her good books by doing a little crooning in her direction. Understandably she pours her drink over his head. I would have poured a drink over his head for being such a git.
But at least she’s talking to him again.