Sal and Kev have a chat about their impending anniversary trip to Paris, all paid for by Kev’s father. They come up with a plan to bring Craig along and play happy families – it should be straightforward to arrange what with texting and all that internet magic that kids are involved with these days.
Sal manages to get the gang together in the same place at the same time so she can tell them the exciting news. In honour of their 20 years of marriage (although Kev has a question about how she did her maths) the whole family is going – wait for the drumroll – to Paris!
The girls are less than over the moon. Rosie has already seen everything there is to see in Paris, after all she was there for a whole day.* Sophie admits that she might like to go. When Craig is told that he has been invited as well, he at least has the good manners to show some appreciation.
Sal has a bit of a rant.
*Papa Smurf spent a day in Paris and walked from Cathedral Notre Dame to The Louvre, saw the Mona Lisa, walked down the Champs Elysees to the Arc de Triomphe, up the 284 steps, over to and up the Eiffel Tower, and back along the Seine to where he started. So you can sort of see Paris in a day in a half assed kind of way.
Bev and Fred natter on in the pub about a surprise he has for her. Romantic soul that Bev is, she tells him to keep the receipt – just in case. Fred beats a hasty retreat to go babysit young Thomas.
Ashley stops in at the hospickle to visit his crazed – er beloved wife. Claire seems to be right round the bend – er on the mend and assures Ashley that she will be at the wedding. Her only concern is that she won’t be able to function without the happy pills that she is taking.
Join the rest of the soccer moms in the world Claire, there’s no shame in it. As Mick and Keith put it – ‘Mother’s Little Helper’.
In The Salon Maria is trying to work a miracle with Liz’s hair while she prattles on about the upcoming nuptials and the bad track record that Fred has had with marriages in the past. Audrey gets a sudden headache from something she heard and asks Maria if she can finish up for the day.
Audrey goes home and rings Fred to thank him for the ‘last lunch’ they had together. Fred, sensitive soul that he is, asks Audrey what is wrong. She tells Fred that she is feeling a bit nostalgic is all, nothing to worry about. Fred promises to come round as soon as he can.
As Fred is slipping out Bev is coming home. She asks her bethrothed where he is off to. Acting particularily suspicious, Fred tells her he is off to some business meeting that won’t take long.
Fred and Audrey are chatting about how things are going to change between them after the wedding. Fred tells Audrey that he has always relied on her for advice and wise counsel. Audrey replies that he will have to turn to his wife for that sort of thing in future days. Fred responds by noting that Bev has ‘other qualities’.
Translation – Bev doesn’t have much of a brain.
Audrey is worried about being alone. Fred tells her that thee and me will always be good friends, and one day Audrey will meet someone. Audrey isn’t interested in meeting anyone new though, she is past that sort of thing.
Fred tells Audrey that she was his first choice, that she had her chance. Audrey agrees and tells Fred ‘It could have been me, and I wish it was’.
That genie is finally out of the bottle.
Realizing she has spoken out of turn, Audrey quickly teels Fred to forget what she has said. How can I forget? blusters poor Fred, who is now in a bit of a lather.
What is Fred to do? Who is he to choose?
Number 1 & Number 6
Charlie and Tracey have a debate over the morals and ethics of his behaviour. Somehow he justifies his behaviour by using the old ‘two wrongs make a right’ justification and does his best to shift the blame onto Shel. She came on to him, he was drunk, he couldn’t tell Tracey the truth because he might lose her, you get the idea. Tracey walks out.
Tracey retreats to Number 1 to argue with her family for a little variety. Charlie comes round to finish the conversation. Ken tries to intervene, but Charlie and Tracey end up going to The Rovers to talk, but she isn’t going to have a drink.
Charlie does his usual slithery sweet talking, asking how he can fix the biggest mistake of his life and ends up convincing Tracey to give him another chance.
Tracey goes home to tell her family that she is going back to Charlie. They are flabbergasted to say the least. Tracey defends her actions by pointing out the rather colourful history that Deirdre and Ken have had. Deirdre admits that they have had their rows but – Ken is no Charlie Stubbs. Amen to that.
Tracey returns to Number 6 with Amy in tow. Charlie does a bit of sucking up to the two of them before announcing that he has to go to the yard for an hour or so to do a ‘little paperwork’. Charlie then oozes his way over to the flat of young Maria to further weave his web of deceit.