Rosie and Craig meet up with David, who boasts that he has dropped out of school and there’s nothing his mum can do about it (somewhat different from the conversation he had with Gail.
David later meets up with Audrey and asks if he can visit tonight. She flatly refuses, explaining that he won’t get his confiscated property until he goes back to school.
Meanwhile, Sally asks the star-crossed lovers if they’d like come in for something to eat. They refuse, deciding instead to get something at Wong’s. Rosie complains that her mother is smothering with her offers of lunch. She moans that her mother used to be so cool once upon a time and wants something different than living and working on the same street all her life.
And as though the plot has somehow been constructed in such a way as to illustrate Rosie and Craig’s alienation from mainstream society, they proceed to the chippy where Cilla and Yana are back from Cyprus: land of ancient ruins, Canadian peacekeepers, and cheap holidays for drunken Brits. Craig mentions that he heard that Ayia Napa has some interesting Roman ruins. Cilla and Yana look disgusted.
“I don’t do culture,” says Yana.
“We just want sun,” Cilla adds. “We don’t want anything … foreign.”
This is Ayia Napa. It looks like Hell.
Then they moan that it doesn’t matter where you go, when you come back, it’s as though you never left.
Rosie and Craig promise each other that they will never end up like those two with nothing to look forward to but a fortnight’s sun holiday every year.
Back at Craig’s squat, they’ve got the Rough Guide and are playing “What City Am I?”
It’s got an amazing underground music scene and alternative culture. It’s Moncton!
Ok, it’s Berlin. Craig says his mate’s brother lives there and told him all about the music scene. Rosie thinks they should live there someday. Craig suggests that they go now and make like David Platt and drop out of school.
So they head down to the Websters and tell them that they have something to tell them. Sally and Kevin make the “she’s up the duff” face until they say they’ve decided to go to Paris with them after all. Unbeknownst to her parents, they plan to hop a train to Berlin as soon as they get there.
Nothing Too Trendy
Bev has gone to Audrey’s to get her hair done for the wedding in two days (that’s on Friday, you and me). She notices that both Fred and Audrey have been distant lately but she chalks up Fred’s absent mindedness to Claire’s return from th’ospickle.
At Fred’s house, Bev is showing Josh how to break eggs. Fred looks at her and says, quietly, “You’re a wonderful woman, Beverly Unwin. I do love you.”
At the salon, Audrey asks Bev about Fred. Bev says he seems stressed. Audrey asks if he’s thinking about cancelling the wedding (tactful). She says at their age, there’s no time for putting things off.
Audrey says she thinks that’s the best policy, too.
The Road Warrior
Kirk drives his friend’s borrowed car, covered in Learner’s Permit stickers, for Fizz’s driving lessons. After almost killing Bev and then driving in a left-handed circle for an hour (that’s right-handed, you and me), Fizz gets frustrated with Kirk’s constant directions.
“Indicate! Indicate!” he exclaims as she makes yet another turn.
Later in the Rovers, she complains that it’s like being in a car with a Dalek. Her mates from the factory do agree, however, that her driving skills leave something to be desired and that it’s nice of him to offer driving lessons when she’d pay a fortune at a driving school. She buys him a pint to make up for getting angry with him earlier and they agree to continue with the lessons.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Claire has returned home and is relieved that they didn’t put out a “Welcome home from the Booby Hatch, Claire!” banner out front. Claire’s mental episode is staying within the family, so long as the subject doesn’t come up with Bev is all liquored up.
Ashley is anxious that Claire must hate him after he tricked her into going into the hospital. But she says that she does not, that he saw what she couldn’t. Then, as she approaches little Thomas Duncan Peacock (such a fine, fine middle name, I might add), there is anxiety among Fred, Ashley, Bev, and Josh that she’ll kill him or something. But instead, she and Ashley take him upstairs to bed and her recovery continues.
In other news
Cilla and Yana went to Cyprus. Cilla again did not pull.