Update – March 5, 2008 – Paul is Dead

Paul is Dead

It’s early morning at Liam and Jamie’s place and, as Jamie listens, Liam is remembering the good times he and Paul used to have when they were kids, like Hide and Seek, Cowboys and Indians, Rounders, and Hide the Prostitute in the Boot of the Car.

“The worst thing is,” Liam adds. “I keep trying to see him in my head. But every time I do, she’s there with him.”

The “she” in question, Leanne, is at her place, as she tells tells Janice, “I’ve lost everything.”
Carla and Michelle are discussing the funeral. Paul will have to be buried in County Kildare, Ireland as per their family tradition.

“Why did it have to end like this?” Carla asks. “Why did he make me hate him before he died?”
Meanwhile at the factory, Kelly is holding court, telling all and sundry about Leanne’s scandalous profession. She wonders if Janice knew. Sean suggests that Janice was her pimp.

Hayley doesn’t join in the schadenfreude and says she’s worried about Janice and Leanne.

“No mother wants that for their child,” she says.

Kelly retorts that they don’t want a sex change for their kid, neither, which even Sean takes umbrage with. Yes, because Hayley once had her sexual organs replaced, she does not have the moral high ground from which she can judge.

“Well! It’s the juiciest bit of gossip, innit,” she replies. “And she’s giving it wet weekend for a face!” And like that, my blog has a new tag line.

Liam arrives. “Don’t stop on my account,” he says as he enters the factory to see his late brother’s empty chair.

Later at cafe, Kelly is still gloating about Leanne, to Hayley’s dismay, as she and Sean recall that back in the Danny Baldwin days, she was “Miss Leanne. If they’d known, Kelly japes, they would have just called her “Madam.”

Leanne and Janice come in behind them, hearing the gossip.

“OI!” Janice declares, in her soft, velvety voice. “If you’ve got something to say, layday, you say it to my face.”

Cross words are exchanged until the ladies feel that the only way to resolve their differences is through the ladylike art of fisticuffs and with that, they have engaged in a duel that spills out into the street.

“Tenner on Janice,” says Steve, watching nearby.

“Nah, nah, Kelly’s got a mean right hook,” says Lloyd, remembering the good ol’ days when Kelly used to beat him.

Leanne intervenes, getting between Janice and Kelly. Janice says she just didn’t want Kelly airing Leanne’s dirty laundry in public.

“Why not?” Leannne asks. “It’s true, isn’t it?” She gets all up in Kelly’s grill and requests that she take a good look.

“Is there anything else you want to say?” she asks (There isn’t) and Janice sees Steve and Lloyd and demurely asks if they’ve finished having “a good gawp.” and she and Leanne head home.

In the pub, the Connors are discussing Paul’s funeral. The flights to Ireland are booked.

Liam says Mother Connor wants to come over from Ireland as she’s in bits. Ryan has gone to a friend’s house.

At their flat, Janice tries to get Leanne to eat and now says she regrets fighting with Kelly and reckons she should have kept her mouth shut. Leanne is glad it’s not a secret anymore and decides to go out for a walk, although Janice figures she may not be up to it, on account of her injuries.

When Jamie sees Leanne in the street, he turns away from her.

It’s getting quite emotional for the Widow Connor as she prepares to send Paul back to Ireland with his cufflinks from his 21st birthday.

As the taxis make ready to take the Connors away, Janice and Leanne appear around the corner of the Street. Leanne catches Liam’s eye and he stares at her coldly stare coldly and gets into the taxi and leaves. Leanne starts crying.

Later, Leanne details her lot in life to Janice: Liam hates her, everyone knows she’s been doing sex work. How can she come back from this. Janice tells her to meet the world with a smile and tell anyone who gives her a hard time to sod off.

Reunited and it Feels So Good

Ken is still at Denise’s flat, taking his bedding off the couch while Daniel is wondering aloud when he’s going to leave but Denise tells her son that Ken’s still having a hard time at the moment.
Later, Ken is writing his column (assuming this is his only source of income, does the Weatherfield Gazette pay him a Rebecca Eckler style salary?). Denise suggests a lunch date, but Ken says he might have to go to the library.

Instead, Ken went back to the street, and watches from a distance and sees Eileen go into his house. Dev shows up, expressing his sympathy, but Ken says he doesn’t need pity and returns to stalking his wife, who is apparently out on the pull with Eileen as they dash into the Rovers. Disappointed with his wife’s lack of moral fibre, he leaves.

Later, Ken, Denise and Daniel are having dinner and Ken suggests a movie. Not wanting to watch 11 hours of I, Claudius, Daniel turns him down. His friend arrives and they head into his room. His friend asks who the new guy is.

“Just my grandad,” replies Daniel.

Ken mopes to Denise that Deirdre is obviously managing perfectly well without him and thinks Daniel will do perfectly well without him, too. Denise tells him he’s a good father and feels bad about how she treated him back in the day. He takes her hand and tells her she’s more than made up for it.
Later, over a bottle of wine, Ken tells Denise how snobby he was in the old days, unlike now, of course. They both admit that they’ve enjoyed having the other one around. He tells her that she’s an attractive woman and shouldn’t be on her own. Denise misreads that signal and tries to kiss Ken, and things get awkward. She gets up and runs into the bedroom.

Meanwhile, Deirdre is catching hell from Blanche from coming in drunk at all hours. Deirdre is all “you’re not the boss of me” and Blance is all “Nyaw-huh!” and Deirdre is all “Well, I’m going for an Italian tomorrow” and Blanche is all “Then I’m coming with!” and Deirdre is all “Nyaw-huh!” and Blanche is all “Yuh-huh!” and so that’s settled.
Back at Denise’s things have gotten a little weird after last night so Ken decides to go back to his wife. Ken promises to keep in touch with Daniel, in an off-screen, during the commercials kind of way and Denise looks as though she’ll really miss him and off Ken goes.

At the Italian, Deirdre, Eileen and Blanche are together as Blanche declares that non-spaghetti shaped pasta is a big con. They are joined by Rita and Doreen in the midst of their thrice weekly drinking session. Doreen suggests Blanche should apply for a disabled sticker for Ken’s car, on account of her Polish hip. That gets Blanche on to the subject of Ken but it quickly moves to the subject of Doreen’s half-blind eye as Deirdre throws another glass of wine down her neck as she calls out for more wine.

Ken shows up at his house but finds it empty.

At the Italian, Deirdre is cruising the waiter.

“If I was ten years younger,” she says.

“You’d still be his mother!” adds Blanche, reminding her (and us) of the last time she swanned off with a toyboy. Deirdre calls for a toast to the single life.

They return to find Ken sitting waiting for them. Eileen, Rita and Doreen quickly take off. Deirdre says she thought she had lost Ken but he says that will never happen. They have a tearful embrace. Blanche sees the action and heads outside but stops and looks up. She says a quiet “thank you” to God for taking time out of His busy day personally intervening in reality show competitions, fixing wins for NFL players, and handing out Grammys to gangsta rappers, to make sure that Britain’s favourite old farts are back together, love having lifted them up where they belong.

In Other News

Gail has taken to paying David for each exam he takes (not score a top grade, mind you, just takes). He still manages to humiliate her.

Mel is worried Granddad Wilf’s bank job from back in the day might negatively impact on her desire to become a policewoman.

Eileen’s been flirting with a mystery man on the taxi dispatch. Jerry has been flirting with Eileen.

Amber parle le français comme il faut, beaucoup mieux que Dev parle le français.

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About John

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
This entry was posted in Coronation Street Updates and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Update – March 5, 2008 – Paul is Dead

  1. missusmac says:

    John, I am in awe of your writing talent! That was truly a joy to read, even better than watching it!

    Steve was a great father figure to Ryan, wasn’t he? — please send Steve down the road to David’s house!

    I so enjoyed the restaurant scene with the single ladies club. Corrie comedy and pathos at its best. (If Leanne and Carla had actually bought the place, that crowd would never have gone there for supper.)

    Is this the end of Denise? Too bad. I had quite grown to like her.

  2. arphpeck says:

    Good update again. Steve just gets better and better, if it’s not good advice, then a good laugh.
    Poor Denise, rejected by someone she walked all over – HA!
    I said “Thank you” along with Blanche, now we don’t have to listen to Dreary whine anymore or see her trying to pick up waiters…
    I liked the Morton siblings promising to be law-abiding…I trust that as much as I trust David to write the exams and not just take off with the money..
    i really hope Liam has more taste and sense than to get mixed up with Cruella – even though she’s now a widow I still have no sympathy for her.

  3. beanie says:

    Bravo John!!!!I too loved Kelly’s wet weekend line.LOL.Of course I didn’t really get it till you wrote it out.Why don’t the Conners have Irish accents? Although I’m not familiar enough to regionalize Irish (I’m pretty good at Scottish and fair with English) they don’t sound like they’ve ever set foot on the Emerald Isle.

  4. Gail says:

    I wanted to slap David’s smug little face last night! What kind of a future does he think he’ll have with no qualifications. If I were in his shoes I’d want to get the best education I could and get the hell away from his annoying mother and sister.
    What exactly are Eileen and Jerry supposed to be doing in the Peacock’s house?

  5. geenee says:

    Another good update. You filled in the conversations I missed at the restaurant. I did enjoy Blanche’s digs about Samir and Dierdre being old enough to be the waiter’s mother. How often have Ken and Dierdre played that re-union scene? They have it down pat!
    I do hope she’s over that blaming Ken bit and ready to smile once in awhile – and that Ken keeps seeing Daniel.

    Kelly is no saint but she just loved being nasty about Leanne and I was pulling for Janice in that fight – hoping she’d land a good one. Can’t help feeling sorry for Leanne and the actress is doing a good job.

    Nice of Eileen and Jerry to clean up the Peacock house. I wonder if it will be appreciated and if the insurance people were done with it.

    David gets annoying and I suppose we have to put up with him for ages.

  6. TrudyC says:

    Thanks for the great update! I laughed out loud at the “Hide the Prostitute in the Boot of the Car” – everyone at work is wondering what I’m laughing at.

    Gail better do something with David – like yesterday – there is no way my son would get away with an attitude like that.

  7. robswizzle says:

    Behind that gentile, learned facade, Ken is quite the emotional terrorist.

    Did Gail say Bethany is turning 7? I know three year olds who are a lot more lucid than that kid.

  8. debbie1975 says:

    Don’t forget their other favourite games: Move the Dead Dody to the Drivers Seat as well as Don’t call the Ambulance … Yet.

  9. jamaicangirl2007 says:

    Execellent commentary! I am actually missing the show this week and will have to wait until Sunday to catch up with the week’s events.Can’t wait to see it!

  10. glacia says:

    Okay…the Connor’s Irishness is driving me crazy!

    I had assumed that they were all raised in England. Now, we find out that mom and dad are in Ireland. (Why does mom want come to England if they’re all going straight back to Ireland?).

    So yeah, what the hell is up with their accents. So now I’m thinking, mom and dad were Irish immigrants to England, raised the kids and then went back to Ireland to retire.

    This kind of sloppy writing pisses me off, btw.

    I’ve tried to research all this, but nowhere does it say where the connor kids were born.

    I did find out that Carla’s mom was a drug pusher and Sean Gallagher, who played Paul is gay, gay, gay, a homosexual, gay….someone please inform Betty.

  11. glacia says:

    And Deidre making a pass at the waiter made me throw up a bit.

    I will say that I like Denise a hell of a lot more than I did before – in personality and in looks. Back in 1995 she had a very harsh look to her and was a supreme bitch.

    Now even with a few extra pounds she looks lovely…like perfume. She looks like she could be in a french film where she’s the long term mistress of some aging Police Chief – or sommit.

  12. glacia says:

    Just because I have to post as many comments as possible today…two things:

    1) My mother called all pasta spaghetti – she refused to acknowledge any other shapes as having their own distinct name. Then again, she followed that great french canadian tradition of making bolognese sauce with Hache Pay (aka HP sauce).

    2) Rebeka Ekcler is a disgusting excuse for a human being. Harsh, I know…but really who is the audiance the self indulgent shit she writes? e.g. I had the *hardest* time finding the Louis Voutton diaper bag in Paris. It didn’t help that my nanny kept whinging on about having to go to the bathroom.

    Sigh. A friend of mine used to date her, and I tell him…you soooooooo dodged that bullet.

  13. Ang says:

    Great update!!!!!!!!! I missed the show, but now I don’t feel so out of the loop. A friend in the UK told me about Paul dying, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. To be honest I don’t really care. I am still unsure about that whole family. I feel like they’ve come from nowhere, and have taken over the street.

  14. redandjonny says:

    fantastic update! You really nailed Janice with the “Layday” line. lol!

    My favorite quote of the episode was when Blanche saw Rita and company she turns to Dreary and says
    ” Well at least you can be sure the place is licensed”
    I almost fell out of bed laughing at that one.
    I’m gonna really gonna miss Denise too… We were really starting to like her. But boy were we pissed at Ken for his little head games he was playing.. like he didnt see that kiss coming, and why did he have to react that way? And then to top it off the next day telling her how Dreary is his wife and one and only. Ken can be such a Jerk sometimes.
    And speaking of Jerks… We are PREYING that something awful happens to David… and soon. The smug prick routine is wearing thin, and all I want to do is punch the television when ever he is on it. Why doesn’t Gail just kick him out? Who in their right mind would put up with his crap?
    Gail and her idle threats are laughable at this point…Instead of threatening she’ll be “dragging him to his exams” she should drag all his stuff out into the street. Kick him out and see how well he does in the world with no education.
    I love how Corrie gets me so riled up sometimes.. 🙂

    Oh Yah…
    Anyone else here recognize from the sounds that David is playing the 1980’s arcade game “Defender” on his xbox360? I thought that was kinda funny… Spoiled brats got a state of the art XBOX360 and he plays an 8bit game from the 1980’s…More proof that he’s a nut case.

  15. Joanie says:

    Best line from last night was when Dreary said about the waiter if only she was 20 years younger and Blanche said, she would still be old enough to be his Mother! As for Denise of the water buffalo hair, doesn’t anyone else besides me think it is strange that she can be a hairdresser, where she obviously has some issues with her right hand?

  16. Frank says:

    WTFI Rebeka Ekcler ?

  17. geenee says:

    A friend of mine is going through the same thing that Gail is with David – he refuses to go to school for his grandmother while the parents are away. The show does reflect real life at times.

    Maybe subconsciously Ken was getting even with Denise for the way she dumped him for the brother- in-law. Playing mind games with Dierdre might have been his revenge and she had it coming after all the months of torture over Tracy. Then there was her little fling with Dev.

  18. missusmac says:

    Eckler is referenced in the wunnaful, wunnaful update posted by John. Water buffalo hair? I did laugh at that one, but I do like Denise.

  19. John says:

    Frank, Rebecca Eckler is a columnist for the Globe and Mail who, under the auspices of a general “lifestyle” piece, uses her column to write about her favourite topic: herself.

    She’s most well known for writing a memoir of her unplanned pregnancy and how that interfered with her high end lifestyle.

    She once moaned to a group of journalism students that the monetary benefits of her profession really weren’t all that worth as she only made something just shy of a six figure salary.

    With Ken’s money problems, I wondered what kind of salary his column for the Weatherfield Gazette paid.

    Googling her name will also result in several instances of the phrase “Oh, shut up!”

  20. pip says:

    Am I the only one who is sad to see the end of the Paul character? Sure he was a nut case, but the actor who played him was good (unlike the woman who plays Michelle -she’s out of her depth), and his psycho ways were a welcome relief from the broken record that is PsychoDavid and the broken record that was PsychoCharlie. What this means now is that there is a vacancy in the PsychoNiche that yet another Psycho will have to fill. Maybe that’s where John Stape comes in? But I did like the dysfunctional relationship that Paul and Carla had (if you spell it ‘Karla’ then it reminds me of Smiley’s People).

  21. Frank says:

    Thanks John. Read the Wikie connection but it did not really explain why Glacia was so “harsh” in her comments. Should have googled but did not have time. Thought she must have dissed Corrie at sometime.

  22. whitehorsefan says:

    “Am I the only one who is sad to see the end of the Paul character?”

    yes.

    When a friend’s friend’s 15 year old son started skipping school, she took him to school one day and went to every single class of his with him, and would sit in a desk nearby. A teacher asked her what she was doing and she said that her son still needed his mummy to come to school with him, as he was not yet old enough to realize that he has to go to school everyday. The kid stopped skipping. Too bad David didn’t have her for a mom.

  23. geenee says:

    Ken gets the old age pension so the column just supplements his income.

    Paul was a good psycho hypocrite but I’d rather have Danny or even Mike; Paul lacked their charm. It was a nice break not to see any Connors tonight.

  24. jamaicangirl2007 says:

    Actually, it’s about time the Connors get off the show. They are as exciting as a dial tone. I want to see more of Blanche interfering with Ken and the “tart”, more of Fiz and her new man. What’s happening with the new fraudulent family who will pick the fillings out of your teeth and they run the new deli in town?

  25. whitehorsefan says:

    Did anyone else notice that in the first episode David had on a t-shirt with the Argentinian flag (it was the blue and white, and the sun was off the flag, to the side).

    After that and Daniel having the soccer players as Argentinians, I believe there may be an Argentinian plot to take over Coronation Street.

  26. glacia says:

    Thanks John for the Eckler 411. I really have no tolerance for her nonsense (obviously) and couldn’t manage any more detailed description of her other than, ‘Ick.’.

  27. glacia says:

    Pip sez:(if you spell it ‘Karla’ then it reminds me of Smiley’s People).

    Ha! I love Smiley’s People! I’ll have to tell Mr. Glacia about your comment.

    I think I’m the only one who spells it Karla – and I have no idea why.

    If it some consulation, I think I’m the sole member of the Karla fan club. I especially liked how at the hospital after Liam (referring to Karla) ‘Do we need her?’ Karla’s response was, ‘As his wife I’m the most immediate family so ‘her’ is staying.’

    She’s a bitch, but there are times when I really relate to her…but I’ve already sang my sad story of being the outsider in-law of a close knit Irish family.

  28. missusmac says:

    Carla without Paul is growing on me. She’s got a smart mouth, and I like that. Maybe’s she the Blanche of her generation?

  29. Glacia says:

    Missus,

    I agree. I really couldn’t deal with her during the Kasia incident, but then Paul kind of swept in and took over that show. I think he brought out the worse in her.

  30. S. Poole says:

    Just occurred to me that when it is spelled Karla it brings to mind another Karla and Paul. Eeew.

  31. S. Poole says:

    Cranberry sauce. I read somewhere they replaced Paul with a look alike. ;P

    Just occurred to me that when it is spelled Karla it brings to mind another Karla and Paul. Eeew.

  32. S. Poole says:

    sorry, double post hic
    sorry, double post

  33. geenee says:

    I think the worst was already coming out in Carla when she didn’t call an ambulance right away but already was thinking of a way to get out of it. She called the right guy for that alright! Those two were a perfect match in some ways. Hated the way she treated the workers too – and her snobby attitude towards Leanne. IMO Leanne was no worse than Paul; she had Les for a dad. What was his excuse?

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