Paul is Dead
It’s early morning at Liam and Jamie’s place and, as Jamie listens, Liam is remembering the good times he and Paul used to have when they were kids, like Hide and Seek, Cowboys and Indians, Rounders, and Hide the Prostitute in the Boot of the Car.
“The worst thing is,” Liam adds. “I keep trying to see him in my head. But every time I do, she’s there with him.”
The “she” in question, Leanne, is at her place, as she tells tells Janice, “I’ve lost everything.”
Carla and Michelle are discussing the funeral. Paul will have to be buried in County Kildare, Ireland as per their family tradition.
“Why did it have to end like this?” Carla asks. “Why did he make me hate him before he died?”
Meanwhile at the factory, Kelly is holding court, telling all and sundry about Leanne’s scandalous profession. She wonders if Janice knew. Sean suggests that Janice was her pimp.
Hayley doesn’t join in the schadenfreude and says she’s worried about Janice and Leanne.
“No mother wants that for their child,” she says.
Kelly retorts that they don’t want a sex change for their kid, neither, which even Sean takes umbrage with. Yes, because Hayley once had her sexual organs replaced, she does not have the moral high ground from which she can judge.
“Well! It’s the juiciest bit of gossip, innit,” she replies. “And she’s giving it wet weekend for a face!” And like that, my blog has a new tag line.
Liam arrives. “Don’t stop on my account,” he says as he enters the factory to see his late brother’s empty chair.
Later at cafe, Kelly is still gloating about Leanne, to Hayley’s dismay, as she and Sean recall that back in the Danny Baldwin days, she was “Miss Leanne. If they’d known, Kelly japes, they would have just called her “Madam.”
Leanne and Janice come in behind them, hearing the gossip.
“OI!” Janice declares, in her soft, velvety voice. “If you’ve got something to say, layday, you say it to my face.”
Cross words are exchanged until the ladies feel that the only way to resolve their differences is through the ladylike art of fisticuffs and with that, they have engaged in a duel that spills out into the street.
“Tenner on Janice,” says Steve, watching nearby.
“Nah, nah, Kelly’s got a mean right hook,” says Lloyd, remembering the good ol’ days when Kelly used to beat him.
Leanne intervenes, getting between Janice and Kelly. Janice says she just didn’t want Kelly airing Leanne’s dirty laundry in public.
“Why not?” Leannne asks. “It’s true, isn’t it?” She gets all up in Kelly’s grill and requests that she take a good look.
“Is there anything else you want to say?” she asks (There isn’t) and Janice sees Steve and Lloyd and demurely asks if they’ve finished having “a good gawp.” and she and Leanne head home.
In the pub, the Connors are discussing Paul’s funeral. The flights to Ireland are booked.
Liam says Mother Connor wants to come over from Ireland as she’s in bits. Ryan has gone to a friend’s house.
At their flat, Janice tries to get Leanne to eat and now says she regrets fighting with Kelly and reckons she should have kept her mouth shut. Leanne is glad it’s not a secret anymore and decides to go out for a walk, although Janice figures she may not be up to it, on account of her injuries.
When Jamie sees Leanne in the street, he turns away from her.
It’s getting quite emotional for the Widow Connor as she prepares to send Paul back to Ireland with his cufflinks from his 21st birthday.
As the taxis make ready to take the Connors away, Janice and Leanne appear around the corner of the Street. Leanne catches Liam’s eye and he stares at her coldly stare coldly and gets into the taxi and leaves. Leanne starts crying.
Later, Leanne details her lot in life to Janice: Liam hates her, everyone knows she’s been doing sex work. How can she come back from this. Janice tells her to meet the world with a smile and tell anyone who gives her a hard time to sod off.
Reunited and it Feels So Good
Ken is still at Denise’s flat, taking his bedding off the couch while Daniel is wondering aloud when he’s going to leave but Denise tells her son that Ken’s still having a hard time at the moment.
Later, Ken is writing his column (assuming this is his only source of income, does the Weatherfield Gazette pay him a Rebecca Eckler style salary?). Denise suggests a lunch date, but Ken says he might have to go to the library.
Instead, Ken went back to the street, and watches from a distance and sees Eileen go into his house. Dev shows up, expressing his sympathy, but Ken says he doesn’t need pity and returns to stalking his wife, who is apparently out on the pull with Eileen as they dash into the Rovers. Disappointed with his wife’s lack of moral fibre, he leaves.
Later, Ken, Denise and Daniel are having dinner and Ken suggests a movie. Not wanting to watch 11 hours of I, Claudius, Daniel turns him down. His friend arrives and they head into his room. His friend asks who the new guy is.
“Just my grandad,” replies Daniel.
Ken mopes to Denise that Deirdre is obviously managing perfectly well without him and thinks Daniel will do perfectly well without him, too. Denise tells him he’s a good father and feels bad about how she treated him back in the day. He takes her hand and tells her she’s more than made up for it.
Later, over a bottle of wine, Ken tells Denise how snobby he was in the old days, unlike now, of course. They both admit that they’ve enjoyed having the other one around. He tells her that she’s an attractive woman and shouldn’t be on her own. Denise misreads that signal and tries to kiss Ken, and things get awkward. She gets up and runs into the bedroom.
Meanwhile, Deirdre is catching hell from Blanche from coming in drunk at all hours. Deirdre is all “you’re not the boss of me” and Blance is all “Nyaw-huh!” and Deirdre is all “Well, I’m going for an Italian tomorrow” and Blanche is all “Then I’m coming with!” and Deirdre is all “Nyaw-huh!” and Blanche is all “Yuh-huh!” and so that’s settled.
Back at Denise’s things have gotten a little weird after last night so Ken decides to go back to his wife. Ken promises to keep in touch with Daniel, in an off-screen, during the commercials kind of way and Denise looks as though she’ll really miss him and off Ken goes.
At the Italian, Deirdre, Eileen and Blanche are together as Blanche declares that non-spaghetti shaped pasta is a big con. They are joined by Rita and Doreen in the midst of their thrice weekly drinking session. Doreen suggests Blanche should apply for a disabled sticker for Ken’s car, on account of her Polish hip. That gets Blanche on to the subject of Ken but it quickly moves to the subject of Doreen’s half-blind eye as Deirdre throws another glass of wine down her neck as she calls out for more wine.
Ken shows up at his house but finds it empty.
At the Italian, Deirdre is cruising the waiter.
“If I was ten years younger,” she says.
“You’d still be his mother!” adds Blanche, reminding her (and us) of the last time she swanned off with a toyboy. Deirdre calls for a toast to the single life.
They return to find Ken sitting waiting for them. Eileen, Rita and Doreen quickly take off. Deirdre says she thought she had lost Ken but he says that will never happen. They have a tearful embrace. Blanche sees the action and heads outside but stops and looks up. She says a quiet “thank you” to God for taking time out of His busy day personally intervening in reality show competitions, fixing wins for NFL players, and handing out Grammys to gangsta rappers, to make sure that Britain’s favourite old farts are back together, love having lifted them up where they belong.
In Other News
Gail has taken to paying David for each exam he takes (not score a top grade, mind you, just takes). He still manages to humiliate her.
Mel is worried Granddad Wilf’s bank job from back in the day might negatively impact on her desire to become a policewoman.
Eileen’s been flirting with a mystery man on the taxi dispatch. Jerry has been flirting with Eileen.
Amber parle le français comme il faut, beaucoup mieux que Dev parle le français.