Update – March 12, 2008 – Snuffleupagus is real, I swear!

Peacocks Perennially in Peril

It’s Father’s Day and, after a lie-in, Ashley got a some cards from his sons, and an earful of Claire’s anxieties about his disbelief that Casey is not after them. This leads to an argument so Ashley takes off to Kevin’s to talk about anything but Casey. When he leaves, we see Casey secretly watching them. She is back, after all.

Casey continues to watch Claire as she plays with the two boys in the backyard. The phone rings and Claire quickly runs inside, taking the boys with her, to answer the phone. After discourteously hanging up on the telemarketer selling mortgages, she hears a noise from the backyard. The gate is ajar, a plant is knocked over, a teddy bear is missing, and the boys’ toys are arranged differently from when she left (or so it appeared to me). Spooked, Claire goes back inside and locks the door.

She heads over to Kevin’s to tell Ashley about what she heard. He heads back with her to find nothing, of course, so he suggests it’s probably the noise from next door, where the Mortons are planning a barbeque. This leads to another row.

Later, they are still arguing when Ashley discovers Darryl, who had been through the gate all day (the shed blocks his own, presumably). Because it’s been 27 minutes and thus far, Ashley has been speaking in a rational voice, he starts yelling at Darryl to keep the door shut at all times, on account of the wee’uns. Or he could not use someone else’s yard for his comings and goings. Anyhow, Ashley says it was Darryl after all but Claire doesn’t believe it, knowing that it’s really Casey.

A Mortal Morton

The Mortons have decided that it’s such a nice day, they’re going to have a barbeque and invite everyone on the street. They also have a laugh when they see Grandpa Wilf’s name in the obituaries. The dead man himself just then pops round to ask if there’s another tea. Turns out, he faked his death so his criminal past wouldn’t affect Mel’s chances of becoming a cop. I still think the Mortons are descended from a family of Irish Travellers , and Wilf is the last in his line, which explains his lengthy criminal record, scams that are second nature, and given his easy ability to fake his death, the likelihood that he lives off the grid and has few official documents supporting his existence.

Jerry goes over the cab office to invite Eileen to the barbeque but he’s beaten to the punch by the appearance of Pat, Eileen’s mystery caller. Turns out he has the Irish brogue of Terry Wogan, but the teeth of Shane McGowan. Jerry’s intentions go unnoticed, even if Eileen seems disappointed in Pat.

At the barbeque, Mel tells Wilf he’s been naughty with this fake death business. Wilf then goes over to Blanche and demands a spanking. Insulted, she announces she’s leaving, taking Betty and Rita with her. She stops long enough to insult Jerry’s food and leaves with Betty. Rita, a gracious guest, stays for more wine.

Also drinking more wine are John and Fizz, who get enough drinks in them to screw up the courage to go to bed together.

Not a Builder, Nor a Bender

David and Jason are climbing a ladder on top of Jerry’s shop. Jason makes the mistake of admitting to David his fear of heights, which of course, starts the wheels turning in his head.

On the roof, David starts talking about his new lifestyle and all the Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transexual, and Transgendered people and how he doesn’t quite understand it all.

Jason recalls that Todd used to say that if you wanted to know if you were gay, all you had to do is decide if you find Kylie Minogue fit or fabulous.

You tell me.

David says he wants to shout from the rooftops that Kylie is FAB-ULOUS!!!

Later, Jason asks David to scurry down the ladder and fetch him some more roofing tiles. David does so, and takes the ladder with him. He is later found by Bill Webster, who fires him on the spot, mostly because of Christmas but also because David’s a dick. David also admits he’s not a “gay boy” but laughs as Jason believed him.

That doesn’t stop David from continuing to keep the charade up with Jason as he needs to stay in Gail’s good books because if she thinks David is still working wth him, Jason gets to stay living under her roof.