It’s a quiet July 1st morning (the day the pubs go smoke-free) and Sean sees a Federlinesque ruffian who, with one hand, is carrying a baby in a car seat, and in the other, a can of beer, thereby perfectly making Jacqueline’s argument that the poor should be sterilized (I’m paraphrasing her position, of course).
He’s still nervous talking to Violet after last night’s awkward conversation but there’s work to be done at the Rovers as it begins its first officially smoke-free day. Steve wonders if ashtrays will be placed in museums one and considers mounting one on the wall and writing a poem:
Find their end in this glass house
Beer bottle works too
Steve says he can’t wait to go to Spain so he can sit and have a fag. Sean says he’s always partial to a Spanish fag.
Anyway, Violet suddenly gets angry at Steve over, well, nothing at all really and storms off. Later Sean tries to apologise for his suggestion that he father her child. Who would want some Mary, siring tap-dancers, singing tunes from Gypsy? Not that he stereotypes the gays.
Violet is about to say something when they are interrupted by Lloyd, looking for a place to smoke, but he is sent out back. They try to continue their conversation but find the back yard is crowded with smokers so they head out to the Maxine Peacock Death Bench, when Violet decides that these two having a baby may not be such a mad idea after all. After Steve ushers them back inside, the conversation moves to its third location in a booth in the pub when they reminisce about all the crazy times they’ve had and really, they reckon, why shouldn’t they have a baby. Sean says he’s the perfect donor as he can be as involved or not involved as she wants him to be.
Because things like this never get complicated.
Eileen Gets Some….Donairs
Eileen’s date with Irish Pat is on tonight and she’s desperately trying to cook something from a recipe of Frankie’s lent to her by Jamie. After spending 90 minutes on whatever he wants, she throws the bowl down and screams with rage, causing someone off camera to laugh.
When Pat arrives, she presents him with an empty bowl and admits she just isn’t much of a cook. Instead, she decides they go to the local Greco to get a couple of donairs from Jerry. As they eat their healthy meals, Pat kind of invites himself to stay the night. I believe the term “ravish you” is used. They run off back to Eileen’s, giggling, as a downcast Jerry watches from behind his blinds.
Leanne and Janice are all dickie-doodled up for her first day as a restaurant owner. And both are nervous as heck.
Leanne is handed the keys to her new restaurant and meets the staff, whom she fibs that she previously owned a tapas bar in Barcelona. They toast to respectability and Leanne quotes Condileeza Rice, proclaiming, “Failure is not an option.”
The staff don’t seem all that impressed with her.
In Other News
As Roy continues to try to reduce his carbon footprint, Hayley complains to Becky about her problems at Underworld. She says it reminds her of the days she was a man and the hard times she had a school. Becky gives her a big Teletubby hug. Hayley later invites her former lodger Fizz, and her new beau John Stape, over for tea tomorrow night.
Molly is looking at the apartment rentals but Jack doesn’t want her to go as she and Tryone provide a relief from his routine of Vera’s nightly gas expulsions.
Jamie is reminded by Lloyd that he used to sleep with his mother.