Update – March 27, 2008 – Making Babies and Writing Poems

Baby Mamma

It’s a quiet July 1st morning (the day the pubs go smoke-free) and Sean sees a Federlinesque ruffian who, with one hand, is carrying a baby in a car seat, and in the other, a can of beer, thereby perfectly making Jacqueline’s argument that the poor should be sterilized (I’m paraphrasing her position, of course).

He’s still nervous talking to Violet after last night’s awkward conversation but there’s work to be done at the Rovers as it begins its first officially smoke-free day. Steve wonders if ashtrays will be placed in museums one and considers mounting one on the wall and writing a poem:

Many cigarettes
Find their end in this glass house
Beer bottle works too

Steve says he can’t wait to go to Spain so he can sit and have a fag. Sean says he’s always partial to a Spanish fag.


It was either this or Ricky Martin, and he’s Puerto Rican.

Anyway, Violet suddenly gets angry at Steve over, well, nothing at all really and storms off. Later Sean tries to apologise for his suggestion that he father her child. Who would want some Mary, siring tap-dancers, singing tunes from Gypsy? Not that he stereotypes the gays.

Violet is about to say something when they are interrupted by Lloyd, looking for a place to smoke, but he is sent out back. They try to continue their conversation but find the back yard is crowded with smokers so they head out to the Maxine Peacock Death Bench, when Violet decides that these two having a baby may not be such a mad idea after all. After Steve ushers them back inside, the conversation moves to its third location in a booth in the pub when they reminisce about all the crazy times they’ve had and really, they reckon, why shouldn’t they have a baby. Sean says he’s the perfect donor as he can be as involved or not involved as she wants him to be.

Because things like this never get complicated.

Eileen Gets Some….Donairs

Eileen’s date with Irish Pat is on tonight and she’s desperately trying to cook something from a recipe of Frankie’s lent to her by Jamie. After spending 90 minutes on whatever he wants, she throws the bowl down and screams with rage, causing someone off camera to laugh.

When Pat arrives, she presents him with an empty bowl and admits she just isn’t much of a cook. Instead, she decides they go to the local Greco to get a couple of donairs from Jerry. As they eat their healthy meals, Pat kind of invites himself to stay the night. I believe the term “ravish you” is used. They run off back to Eileen’s, giggling, as a downcast Jerry watches from behind his blinds.

Kitchen Nightmare

Leanne and Janice are all dickie-doodled up for her first day as a restaurant owner. And both are nervous as heck.

Leanne is handed the keys to her new restaurant and meets the staff, whom she fibs that she previously owned a tapas bar in Barcelona. They toast to respectability and Leanne quotes Condileeza Rice, proclaiming, “Failure is not an option.”

The staff don’t seem all that impressed with her.

In Other News

As Roy continues to try to reduce his carbon footprint, Hayley complains to Becky about her problems at Underworld. She says it reminds her of the days she was a man and the hard times she had a school. Becky gives her a big Teletubby hug. Hayley later invites her former lodger Fizz, and her new beau John Stape, over for tea tomorrow night.

Molly is looking at the apartment rentals but Jack doesn’t want her to go as she and Tryone provide a relief from his routine of Vera’s nightly gas expulsions.

Jamie is reminded by Lloyd that he used to sleep with his mother.


About shatnerian

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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55 Responses to Update – March 27, 2008 – Making Babies and Writing Poems

  1. beanie says:

    Great update John and soooo fast WOW!!! I loved Seans lines tonight.Lots of laughs.BTW who is that Spanish Fag? I think the no smoking bylaw will add alot to many storylines. It was so funny to see all those people crowded in that small space puffing away.I’m so glad I quit it really is inconvenient to smoke anywhere.Where the heck is Liz supposed to be?

  2. amye says:

    I also missed the part about michelle going back to ireland ?? I feel like big chunks are missing lately. What happened to Derek? his wife? Liz? Kirk? Tyrone?

    oh and I want more lines for Vicki

  3. John says:

    beanie: The Spanish gentleman is Pedro Almodovar, the openly gay and Oscar winning film director whose movies gave Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz their big breaks.

  4. romeozulu says:

    Random thoughts:

    I love the interaction between Steve and Lloyd. Those two are terrific, and seem completely at ease, together.

    What will they do with Becky? Seems like an obvious homewrecker/badgirl situation, but I don’t know if she has the personality to carry a major character.

    Speaking of, who will the next bad girl be on the Street? Carla? RRRRosie? Maria?

    Will ham-boned, two-car garage Janice be written out (Please god of soaps!!!) or will she be allowed to chew up scenes until Weatherfield wins the Premiership?

  5. jamaicangirl2007 says:

    Irish Pat has some serious dental problems…I am wondering what Eileen is thinking….I actually thought the first day when he turned up at Street Cars that the teeth thing was a practical joke….only to realise he has bad teeth. I am dying to see how the business is going to work out for Leanne….enough of the Connors! They need to sell Underworld and head back to Ireland….Great update though!

  6. pip says:

    I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand two or three months of Violet trying to get pregnant and then 9 months of actual pregnancy. Srsly, that girl can’t cope with anything. Thank god Claire’s already had post-partum depression or Violet would be guaranteed to get it.

    I don’t know why but it really bugs me that Eileen can’t see that Gerry’s the one for her.

    I loved how John and Roy seemed to be in deep discussion about something at the table in the cafe when Haley was inviting Fizz to tea. Those two seem destined to hit it off. It would be nice to see Roy have a decent storyline (and a friend) for a change that doesn’t make him seem too pathetic. He’s a decent sort.

  7. geenee says:

    Loved the update and the scenes behind the Rovers with all the smokers desperate for a place to smoke. They may have to add a patio! This episode had some nice humourous bits for a change. It was written by Jonathan Harvey and I notice his are better than most.

    The actors seem to take vacations but we don’t hear where their characters went eg. Liz and Derek.

    I enjoyed seeing John, Roy etc. in the cafe.

    Also, I agree that what Leanne did to Liam was horrible; but really, she didn’t do anything to the rest of them and Paul nearly killed her. Leave the Connors in Ireland and bring back Danny – please.

  8. Gail says:

    Wouldn’t anyone purchasing a restaurant have a complete tour of the kitchen – therefore meeting ALL of the staff starting first with the Chef! Leeane really doesn’t have a clue about a running a restaurant! I’m starting to warm up to Becky, I love how she treats Hayley.

  9. glacia says:

    “The poor should be sterlized.”, no need to paraphrase, that’s exactly what I was getting at.

    No, really, that’s not my position.

    But I do think that you should look at your financial and living situation before bringing a child into the world….and for that I make no apologies.

  10. papasmurf1964 says:

    An ashtray haiku

  11. John says:

    I know it’s not what you said, I was just intentionally misrepresenting your position for humourous effect.

    I don’t actually disagree with you. Violet doesn’t even have her own place and probably hasn’t got much in the way of savings and hasn’t once thought of how exactly she intends to care for this child when she basically lives in a boarding house.

  12. glacia says:

    Oh I know you were love, just wanted to make sure I wasn’t misinterperted.

  13. robswizzle says:

    Pat shouldn’t spend his life without love because he has bad teeth. I thought he was quite charming as they ate their donairs at the bus stop.

    Re: Leanne’s restaurant. The only way a lot of the businesses in Weatherfield could make a profit is from fire insurance. It really is the worst collection of business owners ever.

  14. glacia says:

    oh…and ricky martin is not gay.

  15. papasmurf1964 says:

    I think Condoleeza Rice stole the ‘failure is not an option line’ from Ed Harris in the movie about Apollo 13.

    And they gave Barack Obama a hard time about plagarizing..

  16. Mandy says:

    Glacia, I completely agree with you. People should only be able to bring a child into the world if they can provide that child with security, love and a good upbringing. I think this can only spell distress for Violet and Shawn, and the fact that they can’t think long-term about this does NOT bode well for the future of their friendship or the unborn, and as-yet unconcieved, child.

    I think Leanne is going to do great with the restaurant. I know she has no experience, but she’s very clever and very ambitious, and she’s willing to work hard. I think the staff were a little cold to her. She was very nice to them and I think so far she’s shaping up to be a great boss. She looked really pretty in last night’s episode, too. That suit rocked it for her.

    Poor Hayley… if I was her I’d go to the labour board and ask THEM what to do.

  17. Michigander Fan says:

    Liz went to visit Shelley and the new demon seed when she felt things were getting a little too crazy with Derek and his wife.


  18. Michigander Fan says:

    I don’t know much about restaurant etiquette, but are you supposed to tell your head chef to fetch & carry for you?


  19. Michigander Fan says:

    Glacia said: And Ricky Martin is not gay.

    Right. Cuz any man who says “She bangs” and “she booms” clearly understands the mechanics of hetero boinking.


  20. Michigander Fan says:

    Rob Swizzle said: “I thought he was quite charming as they ate their donairs at the bus stop.”

    Really? Cuz I thought it was pretty horrible of him to expect sex after 1 1/2 dates, especially when he couldn’t be bothered to call her for like a week. (I also thought she had lost it when she agreed. Have these people never heard of STDs?)

    I dunno. I guess Pat is giving me a Dudley Moore in Foul Play sort of vibe. Has anyone else seen that movie?


  21. Michigander Fan says:

    And John – excellent haiku!


  22. pip says:

    I think Leanne is going to tank as a restaurant owner. She has no people skills and the staff can see she has no business savvy. Once being nice to them stops working (because she’ll be making mistakes they can’t fix) I think she’ll get all hissy and then they’ll quit on her. Let’s hope Roger doesn’t look to Leanne for payback of his money ‘in kind’.

  23. TrudyC says:

    The first thing I thought of when Leanne was introduced to the restaurant staff – was the episode of Friends when Monica was introduced to her staff. I thought I saw a few daggers in their eyes…………watch out Leanne!

  24. whitehorsefan says:

    Pip: I felt all happy when I saw Roy and John talking earnestly together, as well.

    And whenever Violet is onscreen I wonder why Sean is so devoted to her. Ugh. That woman is never happy. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the pregnancy thing doesn’t take because otherwise this is going to be insufferable.

  25. Mandy says:

    Violet used to be one of my favourite characters. She seemed to be one of the only sensible characters on the show. Not so much anymore…

  26. missusmac says:

    MF, I;m with you on Pat at the bus stop. Ewwww! He was desperate, not charming.

    While this may not be the start of something good for Leanne, is it for Janice? Can you see Les even (a) having 10,000 Lbs and (b)giving it to Janice?

    Violet is nuts thinking there will be no problems with Sean. Hellooooo, he’s Sean.

    Derek got the boot from LIz, didn’t he?

    And finally, I HEART Becky. I really do.

  27. whitehorsefan says:

    “Violet is nuts thinking there will be no problems with Sean. Hellooooo, he’s Sean.”

    If it was thoughtless to decide to have a baby with no money, then the decision to have Sean give over his sperm after a 10 minute conversation is beyond the pale. These situations go off the rails when they have been meticulously thought out and discussed. And it is Sean involved. With Violet. This will end in tears (hopefully not mine at the thought of countless hours spent watching this show).

  28. pip says:

    Sean’s a nice enough guy but he’s a total airhead at times and pretty much completely self-centered. I can’t see him knowing the first thing about raising a baby. He and Violet were giggling like teenagers at the thought of becoming parents. That’s their level of understanding. (hoo boy, I can see the panic attacks they’ll both have if Violet actually becomes pregnant – what were we thinking!) Someone give them a sack of flour to look after for a week.

    However, I am reminded of Steve, who showed no interest in Amy when she was a baby (though to be fair, that was likely because Karen would have killed him in his sleep if he had) and now seems to be an A-1 dad to the unresponsive darling.

  29. John says:

    That’s true about Violet and Sean: they don’t seem to be taking this terribly seriously. They’re like teenagers I’ve known seeing their (potential) baby as a little dolly, rather than a person.

    This is actually a bone I have to pick with the characters: As far as maturity goes – the show doesn’t have much of an interim stage between teenager and middle-aged. You don’t see the young people moving past their teen years, going to university or college, getting their first place, or saving for a mortgage. Most of the under 30’s are in a permanent gap year where life is nothing but earning money for the weekends.

    Sean is over 30, and Violet’s not far behind, for Pete’s sake. And they may as well be in first year university. You don’t see any kind of transition into adulthood. Not that you stop going out when you’re 30 or anything, but your attitudes and priorities tend to evolve as you mature.

    Maybe in some ways it’s realistic because people do tend to stay in their adolescence much longer these days but that doesn’t apply to everyone.

    Steve, at 34-ish, may be gormless when it comes to women, but at least he’s done something with his life. The only other person I see close to that is Fizz who, at least, aspires to something beyond what she has.

  30. Mandy says:

    John, you are SO right. I had no idea Violet was that old, because she acted like she was around 21-24.

  31. geenee says:

    Didn’t Toyah move on to university? Ken was tutoring her for awhile. What about Todd – did he get a job or go to school? If you go back really far there was Ken but he ended up teaching school nearby and people think he’s boring. He also was teaching Raquel French and she met and married a millionaire – eventually.

  32. pip says:

    Yes, Todd has gone off to university on a scholarship, I think. Isn’t Gerry’s daughter planning to become a police officer? And Amber seems somewhat interested in school and making something of herself (at least, she’s very critical of David for being the opposite)

    I agree that Fizz seems to be the only (older) adult who is really looking at bettering herself, with John’s encouragement (which some folk have interpreted as ‘control’).

    The rest of the lot don’t seem to have much ambition, but maybe that’s the class system teaching them their ‘place’.

  33. Mandy says:

    I kind of have to disagree, a little bit. Look at Maria. Not many people may consider a hairdresser to be ambitious, but it’s a great job and if she’s good at it why not? I don’t think Maria is the type to sit around and waste her life… if she finds it fulfilling and satisfying, good for her. Not everyone needs a college or university degree to make something of themselves.

    And then there’s Leanne. Yes, yes, she’s been a number of horrible things. But now, she’s an entrepaneur. That’s pretty awesome.

    As far as I know, Gail has a pretty good job as a receptionist at a doctor’s office.

    And Sarah… well, it’s hard for her being a single mom. Cutting hair, I don’t think is actually her “thing”, but it makes sense money-wise for her to stay in Weatherfield right now.

    Don’t forget about Candice, who is doing well overseas!

  34. whitehorsefan says:

    I think, if I understand John correctly, that this issue is not whether Coronation Street depicts people who move on to higher education, but whether it depicts people making the transition from young person, with no responsibilities and no desire for them, to adulthood, which involves living for more than the moment.

    I don’t know about that one. There is definitely the element on the Street of young folk who appear to not want to grow up, but then there are a group who are youngish at least and appear to have grown up. It’s hard to know because, for instance, Joanne and Kelly, I have no clue how old they are supposed to be, but maybe they would qualify as younguns who have moved beyond the stage that, for instance, Jason is at.

  35. pip says:

    And I guess a lot of it is just the story-line requirement of keeping almost all the characters living on the Street. I mean, there are only so many houses available, so they have to be living with parents, or boarding with friends or some such, and they can’t be drinking in the pub at all hours if they’re going to school across town.

    Who doesn’t live on Coronation Street who is a major character? I count Audrey (and Bill), Becky, Lloyd, Kelly, Jo-Anne, and Vicki.

  36. geenee says:


  37. robswizzle says:

    I just watched a BBC comedy series called “Pulling” last night, so my idea of charming may be horribly skewed from that show’s depiction of the British dating scene!

  38. Tanzie says:

    Tyrone is a mechanic and Molly works at the corner shop..and they’re looking for they’re own place and planning for the future…does that count?

  39. arphpeck says:

    Cilla’s buddy Yana (is that right?) doesn’t live on the street, and David lives somewhere in a creepy place. I wish Audrey and Gail would quit making his life so easy.
    I think Eileen felt she knew Pat better than just a couple of dates from talking on the phone so much. I don’t really like him either. I hope Gerry sticks in there, maybe he’ll win in the end.
    Gee, if Violet only knew how good Charlie’s swimmers were she could’ve had a demon seed of her own.

  40. arphpeck says:

    Is Betty still around? She doesn’t/didn’t live on the street.

  41. missusmac says:

    Is Dev living above the corner shop? Can’t remember.

  42. geenee says:

    I think Dev does live above the shop since the separation from Sunita.

    LOL re. Charlie’s demon seed. There could have been a few little demons being raised for future street villains. She missed her big chance there.

  43. glacia says:

    Jason went off to London to find himself. I think the tossed his A-levels and dreams of Uni with the whole Sarah/Billy storyline.

    I don’t ‘get’ Violet at all. She seems fairly intellingent and a good head on her shoulders so you’d think she be able to advance herself a bit more.

  44. Mandy says:

    I think you guys mean Todd, not Jason. I always do that too!

  45. pip says:

    Isn’t Todd going to university? I thought he was.

  46. John says:

    Todd was set to go to Oxford when he decided he’d rather stay with Sarah and raise their as yet unborn baby. Then all this gay business happened, the baby died, and Todd went to London but I’m not sure if he’s in university there or not.

    Thing is, going to university shouldn’t mean the characters have to leave the show. There’s a Weatherfield High, why not some unseen Weatherfield University or Weatherfield Technical College somewhere? The characters could spend their days getting educated and come home in the evenings, still participating in the show.

    That would allow for some actual growth and development of the characters, instead of this arrested development. Of course, they’d have to come with a reason for the characters to continue living on the street after graduation when the employment opportunities there would, at best, be: stitcher, bar staff, Kabin, Wong’s, Jerry’s, Dev’s, Kevin’s, Medical Clinic, bookies.

  47. papasmurf1964 says:

    Ken went to university and has stayed on the street.

  48. glacia says:

    Yes thanks I meant Todd….I’m jsut going to call them Tason or Jodd from now on.

  49. John says:

    As for Coronation Street-based careers, thanks to our Leanne, I forgot “sex worker/restauranteur.”

  50. whitehorsefan says:

    I wonder, though, how realistic it is to depict a large number of the young people from Coronation Street going to university or college? I think, although I am not certain, that attending university or college in Europe (and I include Britain in that) is not as common as it is in North America. I think it would simply not be accessible to most working class people in Britain.

  51. howdi says:

    Great review(s) John!…and so quick….
    I missed some of those funny lines, so I will review the whole week on the Sunday omnibus.

  52. papasmurf1964 says:

    It seems that no one works that hard on a Friday afternoon…

  53. TrudyC says:

    Years ago everyone went to the “Poly” and lived on the street. I think it was Manchester Polytechnic. I remember Jenny – Rita’s foster child went there. I think Curly went there before starting his grocery store career. Toya went to “uni”. Then Martin went to nursing school and Raquel went took aromatherapy. Since then I don’t remember anyone going off to uni – which is unusual. I thought going to post-secondary education was at an all time high these days.

  54. whitehorsefan says:

    Speak for yourself Papa. I am not working that hard as of Friday morning.

  55. CorrieLoverUSA says:

    Hey Pip…Our Leanne does have restaurant experience! She worked at Roy’s Rolls once upon a time!

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