Omnibus Update – April 20, 2008

I know that Vern and Liz’s song is “These Arms of Mine” but I just happen to like this one better. And I agree with Vern on this: They don’t make soul singers like they used to.

From Flaming Nora’s update for the week of July 23, 2007 (stuff written in italics was added by me).

There’s underhand dealings at Underworld when sacked knicker-stitcher Joanne (“Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty”) is paid off with a cheque for five grand. That’s after she threatens to sue Carla for unfair dismissal and Liam for sexual harassment, but Carla knows how Joanne’s mind works, offers her the cheque and sits back in her office chair to lick thorns and trim the heads of her roses. I bet she’s even got a screensaver on her PC that shows little kittens being drowned. Has Corrie ever had such a witch? (watchable though she is). Anyway, it was clear that Carla was going to win this fight, she was wearing bigger hoopy ear-rings than Joanne, it’s always a sign of a clear winner in a cat-fight on Corrie. The bigger the hoopy ear-rings, the better the bitch. And that, I believe, is Joanne’s exit from the show, sadly.

Claire’s packed and left Ashley to his own devices when she moves in with her mum. She’s too scared to stay in the house for fear of someone burning her alive in her bed. But Ashley’s hoping for a bit of fire in the bedroom and starts cosying up to Casey, Claire’s nemesis. No one yet knows that Casey’s the fire-starter, twisted fire-starter. She wheedles her way in with Claire at her mum’s house and later with Ashley who’s home alone where there’s a gentle stroke of his hand across her baps. She made him some lunch, dear, do keep up. And before you know it, Ashley’s kissed Casey on the welcome mat after she spends the day looking after little Josh for him. And our neighbours were probably concerned when they heard the missus and I scream “NOOOOOOOO!!!!” in unison.

Leanne’s staff walked out of the restaurant this week, her chef and waiter have gone, leaving her in no doubt that they think her talents in the catering business are equal to those she had on the game. Leanne lies back and thinks of pizza margherita and how to repay Roger’s loan when Janice tells Leanne that Roger’s skint and needs his money back, oh dear. Best line of the week was Doreen and Rita in the restaurant having lunch. Leanne: “Would you like a drink, ladies?”, Doreen: “Yes please, I hate to eat on an empty stomach”. Leanne’s so desperate for cash that she even asks Carla Connor to come into business with her. It was just like Dragon’s Den (both the British and Canadian versions). Carla offered twenty thousand pounds for sixty per cent of the business but Leanne walked out in a huff. Paul takes Molly and Tyrone to the pizza place for lunch and is disgusted by the state of the food, and who can blame him? It’s all ready meals brought in from Freshco by Janice when Leanne finds out there’s no food in the fridge for the agency chef to cook up. Hang on, but isn’t Paul a chef? And doesn’t Leanne need, let’s see, what was it again? A chef? I see a plot forming, it’s a shame that Leanne and Paul haven’t yet.

Tyrone continues to feel pushed out at the Duckies when golden-balls Paul, son of Terry (he who cannot be rubbished in the eyes of our Vera) starts wheedling his way in to Jack and Vera’s lives.

Meanwhile at the butchers, Kirk is over the moon cutting and slicing and naming all 14 cuts of a cow: “I love being a butcher, me”.

Sally feeds her desire to learn something new and while Janice rubbishes her idea, Vicky supports her co-stitcher. Well, Vicky’s got a degree you know. Sally aims to start an English course and Kev’s as supportive as he knows how to be, although clearly disappointed his missus isn’t going to study advanced toasting and postgraduate knowledge of beans.

Vernon heads off to Spain away from Weatherfield and Liz. Lloyd tells him he’ll have a bevy of bikini clad beauties wanting to bang his bongos, but Vernon only wants Liz yet feels he can’t live with her. Ah, but it also turns out he can’t live without her either. Liz sneakily gives Lloyd a tape cassette made up of her and Vernon’s special songs which she asks Lloyd to play in his cab when he drives Vern to the airport. I did something similar for a girl, once. In 1989! I love how Corrie is so delightfully retro. This is VAs the cab drives Vernon away from the Street, the songs stir something in Vernon’s heart. He gets Lloyd to turn the cab around, and Lloyd drives Vernon back to the Street and into Liz’s waiting arms. Ah, bless. I do hope these two get wed, it’ll be camp central on national camp day. The next day they have a stilted conversation about free range sausages and Liz thinks free range isn’t all it’s cracked up to be but Vern thinks maybe the pigs were free ranging because they felt neglected. It’s all very weird and I have absolutely no idea what bearing it has on their current storyline.

In other news, Roy’s is officially carbon neutral as all his produce is not grown more than 2 miles away from the café, which strikes me as overly strict when most of the “eat local” folk suggest no more than 100 miles. Roy tries to get Ashley to do the same but Ashley’s mind is on other things, what with his impending extramarital snog and all. I hope he doesn’t stop ordering Irish sausages at Roy’s urging because those things are frakking awesome.

Sean’s coming on a little strong with the baby thing by rummaging through Violet’s pregnancy kits so he could buy the right brand. He’s also on a health kick so his swimmers will be in tip-top shape for their next outing. He does this by swearing off junk food and dusting his nuts.

The Mortons find out Gail made an official complaint about Darryl’s unnaturally proficient guitar playing but Jerry’s turning into a softie and doesn’t want to press the issue with her. Jodie calls him in it and says Darryl should play his guitar any time he likes. The 875 other Mortons are in agreement with Jodie, except for straight arrow wannabe cop Mel.


About shatnerian

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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24 Responses to Omnibus Update – April 20, 2008

  1. eps says:

    Gee willikers, we in the area between Seattle and the border are not catching any breaks. Since we can’t watch online (I now am familiar with the term “geo-fencing” – sounds like something George Bush came up with, doesn’t it?) the omnibus is our only option and I do appreciate it rather than the long term black-outs
    we’ve experienced in the past. Both CBC and the local TV guide from the newspaper listed the start time as 7:30. Imagine my surprise and dismay to discover at 9am that CS actually started at 6:30 this morning. I may need to re-evaluate my decision that I don’t need Tivo although I have not yet quite figured out how to add a DVD player to the TV that have the VCR hooked up.

    So, I am very appreciative of the update. Thank you Ms Flaming Nora and John. We who are both technologically and informationly challenged salute you.

  2. geenee says:

    Once again – thanks for the laughs!

    Sometimes I think I watch only to be a critic.

    As for the VCR thing, my DVD would work only through the VCR so I solved the problem by buying a combo of the two and really like it. Someday I will be forced to get a new TV and pvr or whatever but for now I resist change.

    Poor dumb Ashley and Claire. Why have they such faith in KC? I still haven’t figured it out. Eileen with Pat seems out of character too – and Leanne going to Carla for money.

    Only Kirk seems to be coming along well with his recitation of meat cuts. That’s a lot of progress after last week’s wounds.

  3. Gayle says:

    I know I am in the minority but I like the Mortons, especially Jerry. He is always upbeat and has a really kind heart. I know Leeanne isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer but did she not realize that food and wine stocks need to be kept up all the time. I didn’t blame her staff for walking out she treated them like dirt. I am not looking forward to this Claire/Casey/Ashley thing at all. I don’t really care for any of the characters except for Josh and Freddy. I missed Steve this week but not Michelle.

  4. pip says:

    I missed a half hour of Corrie, too, because it started so early. Thank goodness for the updates!

    Sean and Violet are getting pretty annoying, too. If it’s been three weeks, then a pregnancy test would definitely work, because her period would be one week late. I’m getting the feeling Violet is regretting getting pregnant. Sheesh.

  5. TrudyC says:

    I’m glad the staff walked out too – I couldn’t stand hearing Leanne call Luigi one more time. Come on Corrie staff – you couldn’t come up with a more original Italian name?

    What was that sausage talk all about?!?!? Gave me a chuckle though.

  6. Modge says:

    The sausage talk that baffled John and Trudy C – it’s a metaphor….or an analogy, always get those mixed up….first time I watched it, I couldn’t believe how sympathetic Vermin was being, even accepting some of the blame for Liz’s “free-ranging”, but the second time I watched, I realized what the message really was – Liz is a pig.

  7. missusmac says:

    I think the sausage talk was a metaphor for their relationship; the free range piggies roamed, when they should have stayed home, says Liz.

    Ah no, say Vern, perhaps those piggies were neglected, so felt they had to roam…

    I had my laptop on in the kitchen, so got up and did the dishes every time Vi and Sean were on camera. Gagged at Pat and Eileen — puhleeze, this is totally out of character.

    And when Ashley kissed KC, I did not yell noooooooo! I thought it in my head, but had a mouth full of pudding. So, I waved my hands frantically in a noooooo gesture at the laptop screen.

    I’m pulling for Leanne to make it. Perhaps she’ll hire Jo? I mean, we know she’s hiring the Duckie boy.

    Personally, I love Carla now. She’s Mike Baldwin, with bigger hoop earrings. HA!

  8. beanie says:

    Great update and so nice to have music to read by.John I bet you made a lovely mixed tape.So sorry that my US friends can’t watch online.Makes little sense to me.BTW Eps You probably know this but you don’t have to get Tivo with the monthly fee.You can just buy the DVR in Canada it’s PVR.It’s the best thong I ever did.You can get a refurbished one got $100 here and you get 80 hrs of recording time. Also Bell just reprogrammed it with new software and now it does even more cool stuff. I love that instead of “What’d he say” I can stop and replay even if it’s live.Wonderful for spacy people like me but it does drive husbands crazy.One more thing according to all the girls I know….Men just don’t get it.LOL

  9. geenee says:

    But missusmac – Mike had compassion for his friends and helped them out. So far, Carla has only shown her mean side except for buying people off.

    My daughter had to have her boyfriend show her how to use the pvr but likes it now. I’m afraid I’ll mess up what works for me now but will consider a pvr when something or other wears out.

    I still think Eileen is too good for Jerry. He is funny – but such a liar.

  10. missusmac says:

    Geenee, I’m not sure Mike always willingly helped his friends. Alma did a lot of pushing for that.

    What I like about Carla is she’s never afraid to say what she means. She’s a smarter version of Janice, really!

    I think it’s neat to see a real hard go-get-em business lady on the street. Compare Carla to Audrey or Penny King. Night and Day. I miss Penny — she got the boot too quick too.

    Did anyone else think that once Ashley left Kirk alone in the store with a knife, Kirk would cut off his own arm?

  11. mayfairgirl says:

    i have to agree with pip. the pregnancy thing is getting tiring and nauseating. lol..

  12. geenee says:

    I haven’t noticed any compassion in Carla yet but Mike came to Dierdre’s rescue when she was in jail and Janice was always good with the girls and kept the family going when she was with waste-of-space Les. Audrey has become a really good character when she used to be self-centered and vain and she must be a pretty good businesswoman now as she keeps several people employed at the hairdressers and has a good share (I forget how much) of the builders yard.

    Penny King seemed to be doing OK too without the nastiness. I don’t think it’s necessary to always be mean to succeed in business – just smart. I suppose Corrie needs another bitch though, since Tracy went down. Leanne could soon fill the bill but she has a vulnerable side and they are dumbing her down.

    The pregnancy thing is wearing thin already.

  13. Summer says:

    You know, I would have loved to see Tracy and Carla duelling… something tells me Carla would have come out on top. Yes, Tracy was/is a serious narcisistic sociopath, but Carla? A serious lioness.

  14. geenee says:

    Karen would have been good with Carla too and Ivy would have had them all out on strike. But then, Liam would have talked them back.

  15. Flaming Nora says:

    Glad to read you’re enjoying me updates! 🙂 xx

  16. nwtrunner says:

    Well, we’re all enjoying the evolution of Carla’s character – she is a lioness for sure and I expect some really juicy story lines for her in future (no spoilers, please!!). I’ve also noticed that she’s not that hard to look at either… especially since we’re being deprived of shiny, shiny, shiny black hair right now!

  17. glacia says:

    My all time FAVORITE line of the show is when Liz explained that the pigs were free to roam where they may and Vern replies, ‘Pity they roamed into an abatoir.’

    As far at the frozen dinners at the restaurant, I think in the long run it would work for Leanne…East Side Marios seems to be be doing well serving them up.

  18. kunzie says:

    It’s so hard having to wait until Friday to throw in the 2 cents worth. We tape all 5 on Sunday and then dole them out one per weekday…well, sometimes we cheat and do 2…

    Geenee, sorry, but I most certainly don’t think Eileen is too good for Gerry – and I think Pat’s wife would probably agree with me. I realize that it’s “Eileen’s life” but I’m sure that Jason, about to marry and not exactly Einstein, is finding mom snogging-on-the-side a bit disheartening.

    I have cringed seeing Leanne struggle – hopefully Duckworth Boy can turn the Limping Lasagna around.

    If you combine Carla’s blunt authority with Liam’s charm and sense of fair play you’d have a great boss (or wait – you’d have Danny B., wouldn’t you? ;-).

    I am intrigued by Casey/Clurr/Ashley…because I can’t decide if Clurr or Casey is the one whose picnic is missing a sandwich. As much as I hated the kiss too, Clurr cannot keep stonewalling Ashley indefinitely without there being some sort of fallout.

  19. Diane/tvor says:

    Casey is definitely short of a few synapses of the brain. She’s very subtle about throwing in lines or comments or looks that make the other person doubt or question either themselves or their partner. It’s like she’s twisting their words without actually doing it herself. It’s all very clever. The actress is really good too

  20. geenee says:

    I’m prejudiced in favor of Eileen and Leanne but realize that not everyone likes the same characters. I don’t like the way Jerry lies about so many things to get his own way and ignores the feelings of his neighbours. Why should they have to put up with all that noise? Instead of telling the kids to turn down the music, he manipulates the woman from the counsel and promises neighbours anything to shut them up, then ignores the whole thing. I’m just grateful they don’t live next door to me!

    I also think Ashley is very disloyal to Claire and am disappointed in the way his character is changing. The old Ashley would never have cheated on Claire.

    And they’re making Leanne too dumb.

  21. missusmac says:

    I’ve been listening carefully to Casey, and she isn’t saying anything that can’t be explained away as support of both Ashley and Claire. She encourages Ashley to give Claire space, and encourages Claire to take that space… I agree kunzie, very clever.

    Limping Lasagna! hahahaha!

    Ashley kissing Casey is interesting too because I don’t think he ever forgave Maxine for sleeping with Dr. McSchemey Matt on the one-off that produced Josh. Perhaps that might come up as Ashley explores his really, really bad idea to snog Satan.

  22. beanie says:

    OMG I love the term “Limping Lasagna” so much I’m going to try to use it often. Maybe “limping lasagna Batman….what will we do now?”

  23. kunzie says:

    Bwwwa-ha!!!! Beanie thanx for that. LOL!!!!

    I forgot to say that I absolutely adore seeing Kirk coming out of his funk and enjoying his new trade.

    Another point regarding Casey…she isn’t really “understanding” Clurr or Ashley, just cleverly mirroring their words back to them to show she’s listening. And staying upbeat at the same time. Surely Clurr and Ash can learn to do that for one another????

    Anyway, have a good week all, will pop on next Fri after I’ve doled myself out the week’s saga, piece by piece.

  24. tvor says:

    You know what? You just can’t argue with Otis no matter what he’s singing. *sigh*

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