This week had Sean practically re-enacting his favorite Eurovision moment, so I thought I’d share mine with yours. I know, I know, my Norwegian bias is out of control, but you have to admit Wig Wam rocks.
Now, here’s yer Flaming Nora update (now with 10% more Glacia content in italics.).
July 30, 2007
Hello me little muffins. Come in and sit down and without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly update with pictures and fun Corrie stuff, have a look at : http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Sally flicks through Howard’s End which was as painful for Howard as it was for her Kev. “I remember Howard’s End. It was a telly programme about boats” he says when Sally starts her book-learning for A-level English. Kev was recalling Howard’s Way which was indeed a programme about boats, I always thought of it as a posh Coronation Street-on-sea. Sally also attempts The Tempest and picks through Pride and Prejudice while Fiz’s fella John the teacher offers his services to Sally if she wants some home tutoring at a reasonable fee. Janice belittles Sally’s studies and tells her she’s just a back street knicker stitcher and always likely to be so but it does start Janice wondering what she could do to be a better Battersby. Maybe buy some bitter butter? When John (Mr Stape to his mates) comes round to Sal’s for her first home tutor session, Sal’s got the kitchen table full of dips and crisps and Kev warns Sophie “Don’t diss the Stapester”. (This weekend I noticed that my 63 year old mother-in-law is now using ‘diss’ in conversation.)
Claire moves back in with Ashley this week, little knowing that Ashley and Casey have kissed while she’s been at her mums. Ashley suggests the Peacocks go to the pub to get p-p-pleasantly plastered but all Claire wants to do is lie in a darkened room and cry her eyes out. Watching this story drag on makes me feel much the same. Ashley and Casey are down to their grundies in the Peacock house while Claire’s out at a support group meeting Casey suggests she attends. It was just like a game of Coronation Street Cluedo with Mr Peacock in the conservatory with a piece of lead piping. Or was it a candle stick? Claire walks in just as Ashley’s considering taking off his tartan boxer shorts (we never got to see them; this is just a hunch) (We definately saw Ashley knickers here in Canada, white boxers. Did Canada get the naughty version to compensate for C-10?) and her hubby and the woman she thinks is her best friend manage to get dressed before Claire finds out just what’s really going on.
Paul starts his new job as chef at Leanne’s pizza paradise place in the precinct. She quizzes him on where he worked last and he admits he’s not worked for the last 18 months after having to do a runner from his last job when his boss found out he’d been sleeping with his wife. It’s so far, so good at the pizza place and Paul woos the punters with his pasta carbonara. Mind you, I did wonder why there was an industrial can of baked beans on the shelf in the kitchen, but maybe Spaghetti-a-la-Heinz-beanz is a north-west delicacy, who knows?
Blanche catches Liz smoking in the ladies loo in the Rovers and makes her confess all to Vernon. Steve returned from Spain this week and Liz had to come clean to her son about her fling with dull Derek while he was away and says he should be nice to Vernon because he’s forgiven her completely. “If it had been yer dad, he’d have belted the foundation off me face” she says to which Steve replies: “Just because he doesn’t hit you doesn’t make him a saint”.
Violet’s pregnant, with child, has a bun in the oven and is in the pudding club. Sean’s over the moon but he can’t keep his mouth shut and blabs all to Jamie. Jamie tells Violet she could have done a lot better than getting pregnant by the walking nightmare that’s Sean and she’s not pleased that Sean’s given away their secret and that Jamie knows.
Gail has another go at the Morton clan next door about the level of noise coming out of their shed. She sits down in the Rovers with the whole bleedin’ lot of them and Jerry gives her his mobile number, telling her to ring him and complain when the noise gets too loud.
Eileen returns from a dirty weekend in Scarborough with Pat and has to suffer the slings and arrows of guilt-inducing remarks from just about everyone. In the Streetcars cab office, she moans to Steve who moans back about how much he’s missing Michelle. Pat pops into the cab office to see Eileen but leaves his mobile phone and Lloyd and Steve egg Eileen on to read Pat’s text messages. She holds out long enough but when she caves in she gets a big shock. There’s a message from Justine who’s keeping the bed warm for him and messages for Carol, Sue and Fluffy Bunny too. When Pat pops back to pick up the phone, Eileen knocks him through the door with a mean right hook which is driven with extra power when he admits he’s not even married, he just tells that to all the girls he meets to keep them at arm’s length. So there’s Eileen, miserable at the switch and there’s Steve, feeling just as blue. What’s to do? They only go and book cheap flights on th’internet, pack their bags, jump in the back of a taxi and wave goodbye to an incredulous Liz as the pair of them head off to Malta together. “Separate beds!” they yell back at Liz.
Cilla’s sacked from the chippy when Mr Wong says he’s closing it down. She reckons it’s because of the competition from Jerry’s kebab shop and goes in there making her mouth go and then tells big fibs about food poisoning and dodgy meat to anyone who’ll listen. When Schemicel goes missing on Chesney’s 13th birthday, Cilla reckons the Mortons are behind the dogknapping as revenge for her badmouthing their food. The dog turns up later in the Morton’s shed. My guess is he’d probably gone in there to see where the noise has been coming from.
And that’s just about that for this week.
And that’s it for your Canuck omnibus. Remember, you can watch this week’s Corrie online at http://www.cbc.ca/coronation/. As of 9 am this morning it hasn’t changed over, but I’m sure it will in a bit. Meanwhile, you can amuse yourself with the greatest glam rock band to ever come out of Norway.
Gå Wig Wam !!!!