Corrie Update – Mad Lib Edition

Okay, so here’s the story. We ran out of Flaming Nora updates as our lovely UK correspondent went on hiatus in September of last year. Course, I realized this AFTER I had erased the episodes from my pvr.

In a panic I consulted your crack team of Corrie updaters and during Facebook and Youtube breaks throughout the work day, this is the VERY abridged version of events we came up with.  So let’s pretend this is a big old Mad Lib update where you all get to fill in the blanks of important stuff we forgot.

So here it is…yeah, in point form.

Cilla gets hired by Frank as his attendant/eye candy. They seem to make a fine couple and Frank does have a few bucks behind him. He lets Cilla know that his whole house is equipped with CCTV and every move she makes will be filmed. So with that out of the way he has her take him to the Rovers where he treats Fizz and John to drinks while Fizz treats Frank to ‘Tales of Cilla’.

Haley’s Aunt Monica dies and she’s very shaken up by this because Auntie Monica was the only member of her family who accepted her as she was.  Initially she says she won’t go to the funeral because her whole disapproving family will be there, but in the end she decides she owes it to her aunt to go.

Jack and Vera celebrate their 50th anniversary.  Dev chauffeurs them in a fancy schmancy car to the Rovers, all of 50 feet – personally I thought he could have drove them around town a bit.   At the Rovers Jack makes a lovely speech about the first time he met Vera at a fairground where he was working and how she was the loveliest girl at the fair.  He ends his toast by saying that she is still the loveliest girl at the fair and in honour of their anniversary, he sings that song that Shirley Feeney used to sing on ‘Laverne and Shirley’. 

Paul pretends to be Jack in order to get a 20K loan for the restaurant.  When he gets it  Leanne tells Roger that she will pay him back the loan in full.   However, Paul convinces her that the money would be better spent invested back into the restaurant and that ‘Roger the Lodger’ can just wait.   I was expecting her to give him say 10K, maybe 5K – but no, she gives him a cheque for a whopping 2K.   bitch.

Steve and Michelle are off to Ireland.  Yeah, whatever.

Eileen and Jerry have a few dates. When Jerry invites her to his house, they can’t get any privacy from the kids and end up using the shed for chat and wine.  They end up playing their music too loud and Gail comes banging on the shed to tell them to knock it off.  To give her a show, Eileen tussles her hair, undoes a few buttons, exposes her bra and comes swaggering out of the shed staggering and hanging off of Gerry.  Gail is INCENSED! 

Earlier that day, Gail gives David a hard time about not going to the school picking up his grades.  After she’s let all holy hell loose on him, he produces the grades paper he picked up…worse yet, the only course he wrote an exam for he scored an A+.  On a side note,  Jason is trying to keep everyone from triggering the bat-shit crazy button on David.

After a talk from Audrey about the marriage,  Claire returns home to Ashley.   Even after Claire tells Casey to push off (but in a very nice way), the big eyed freak is convinced that Ashley is going to leave Claire for her and when he tells her instead that he’s dumping her, she gets upset ad her eyes get even more psycho.   Meanwhile back at home, Claire asks Ashley point blank if he slept with Casey and that if he loves her and if their marriage has any chance of surviving he’ll tell the truth.   Ashley says, ‘No, no of COURSE I didn’t sleep with Casey.’  I gots a feeling this is going to bite him in the ass later.

The Angela’s Ex-Hubby Club is pressuring Norris to confess who he’s planning to marry.

Our John remembered that Vernon wore a Captain America t-shirt.  But really it was Eileen who should have the cape because when a couple of thugs come into the kebab shop and try to make off with a free meal, she KLUNKS their heads together and it’s all KA-POW, KAAAAAAAA-BLOOEY for those chumps and they go running.   Eileen shouts after them, ‘Donair come back!’  (Okay, I made that one up.)

David saw Amber all dolled up for her celebratory A+ results dinner with Dev and he said she looked like a hooker.

From our John again in another Jerry/Eileen date related bit:  Jody, in an effort to remind viewers who she is, sprayed ketchup (or, as they sometimes call it in the UK, “red sauce”) all over Jerry’s floral print shirt, causing him to change into a plaid shirt that matched the table cloth at Valandro’s.

Finally, Debbie contributed this comment, ‘Wait, who is Mel again?’

So that’s it in a nutshell.  Ms. Hanna also pointed out that visual updates of the shows are available if you klicken-sie here.


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30 Responses to Corrie Update – Mad Lib Edition

  1. Pamer says:

    awesome recap my dear…i missed huge portions of it on sunday and this filled in the gaps just perfectly

  2. romeozulu says:

    Random Thoughts:

    Mel is the skinny, Everything But The Girl singer lookalike daughter, and Jodie is the one that sprayed Jerry with ketchup. Who is Mel, indeed 🙂

    We definitely haven’t seen the end of Krazy Kasey.

    I hope they run with the Eileen – Jerry thing. I enjoy them both.

    Becky seems to be getting more and more face time. A major character in the offing?

    I still enjoy watching Dev onscreen. Major hambone, but he has presence.

    Even considering the circumstances, I can’t help but feel sorry for Ashley – he’s bracketed by borderline psychotic women, he’s got two kids (..well, one…) and lately he’s been thinking with his midsection. And he’s a butcher. Knives aplenty…

  3. geenee says:

    Jodie is really not interesting and the ketchup thing was stupid. I kind of liked that shirt – at least more than the one he wore. If Mel is going to be a cop, why wasn’t it Mel who put the run on those kids? I suppose it was just another ploy to get Eileen and Jerry together – but those kids of his would put most women off. They were fun to watch when they were tormenting Gail.

    I really don’t feel that sorry for Ashley. Isn’t one psycho woman enough for him? At least Claire doesn’t set fires or try to break up families and he sure hasn’t been very understanding of Claire’s fears. After all, the arsonist/kidnapper is still out there. Oh, but he trusts and believes KC rather than his wife.

    Becky seems to be the new Blanche in training but has possibilities as a good character.

  4. beanie says:

    Great upate!!!!! Thanks Glacia also liked the link to Granada site. I hadn’t been there before and I seem to miss things without my carved in stone Corrie 1/2 hr.I loved Doreen reporting that Norris of “The Dead Wife Club” is “ON HEAT” LOL. For the record Ketchup is tomato sauce “tamata” the coloured sauce is brown sauce (HP)

  5. pip says:

    Great update!

    I’m enjoying seeing more of Becky, let’s hope it continues.

    I agree, geenee, Ashley’s not getting any sympathy from me. He and Claire have a baby together, and still he’s hopping into bed with the first psycho who comes along? He didn’t even have enough spine to put Casey right when she started spouting off about their lives together. Claire’s got all the backbone in that marriage. BTW, can Freddie’s head get any bigger? I pity his real mother when he was born.

  6. glacia says:

    I have a theory. Corrie time is like dog time, it’s sped up.

    So if in corrie, it takes you 2 weeks to fall in love with someone, that’s like 14 weeks in real life.

    So, if your wife leaves you on corrie, the amount of time it takes you to become so overwhelm with sheer loneliness that you take any old big eyed freak to your bed will be 1/14th the time it does in real life.

    Course, I’m not justifying Ashley’s actions, I’m just trying to put some logic to the speed of light emotions that happen on the show.

  7. missusmac says:

    I was a little disappointed with the lack of turnout for the 50th. I don’t know why, but I thought every creature on the street should have been there.

    I love Doreen and Becky. Becky is not the most sympathetic person, but if anyone hurts Hayles, watch out!

    Claire showed some amazing backbone, asking the hard questions. Ashley showed he was made of goo.

    Is this the week that David made the remark about Beth and friends being at the house and all the noise it would involve? Helllooooo, has anyone actually heard Beth speak?

  8. geenee says:

    I would have loved to see some of the old neighbours at Jack and Vera’s 50th – plus the other grandsons. I suppose it would have been expensive to bring back Gary and Curly, etc or maybe they were busy. Ken was nowhere in sight. Is he already seizing every opportunity to be alone with his books? The umpteenth honeymoon must be over! Or he’s on an extended vacation after the Tracy saga.

  9. Summer says:

    I do hope they continue to build Becky’s character up — she’s like a little terrier with loads of charisma. Great actress, with a real ability for the comic element.
    As for Ashley’s slip-up with doe-eyes, let’s give the guy a break. Can you imagine being married to Claire, after all? Yikes. And let’s face it, he’ll end up paying dearly for his rather pathetic attempt at an affair! 😉

  10. Gayle says:

    I have no sympathy for Ashley at all. If being married to Claire is horrible, then leave her. Don’t screw around on her when she is having a hard time, after all someone did try set her house on fire with her and her baby in it. I love Eileen and Jerry together. I don’t think his kids are so bad with the exception of the little whiny girl who constantly needs to be entertained.

  11. beanie says:

    I enjoyed that moment with little whiney girl and Grandpa. LOL

  12. Michigander Fan says:

    I loved the exchange where Vera gets the pic in the golden frame from Paul and says it’s “Very Cousin Elizabeth” and Molly shoots Jack a confused look and he mutters, “You know, off the stamps”. Cracked me up!

    There will never be another Vera Duckworth on this show! They just don’t make them like that anymore.


  13. Michigander Fan says:

    Also, I cried when Hayley was discussing her Aunt Monica and how understanding she was. That was a lovely scene and very well acted. I wish I had been watching the show when the Hayley character was introduced and went through the coming out with Roy.


  14. Michigander Fan says:

    One more and then I’m done. Eileen kicking some hooligan butt was awesome to watch. OTOH, I’m not sure being a Poeleeceman is really the right career path for Mel. And I dislike Darryl and Jodie more all the time. Plus his greasy hair makes me want to barf up my Cheerios at 8 am on a Sunday morning.


  15. missusmac says:

    Gramps still makes me squeamish, and Darryl’s hair is bordering criminal neglect.

    Bet Jack would be surprised to learn he could raise $20,000…

  16. John says:

    I loved Rita and Doreen drunkenly teasing Norris and his friends in the pub:

    “Oh, come sit down with us, and ask Tinky Winky and La La to come too.”

  17. pip says:

    Wasn’t there a certain irony is Ashley using the excuse that he had to go to Matt Ramsden’s place – the man who had an affair with his first wife and is the natural father of his son – so that he could meet up with the woman he’d been having an affair with. Really, Ashley’s been in Claire’s shoes, how could he do this to her? He doesn’t even seem to have any insight into the parallels there.

  18. beanie says:

    Ashley seems to have suffered from that all too common male affliction….Thinking with the little head instead of the big one! No sympathy here.

  19. S. Poole says:

    Koo-koo KC and her trifle had me running for google when she said Joshua could help spread some “hundreds and thousands” on top. For non-UK folk, they are also known as “sprinkles”.
    And Josh was turning down yogurt for pudding, saying it was a breakfast food. (I heartily agree with him.) He is already smarter than half the Morton kids and is miles ahead of Bethany. ;p

  20. TrudyC says:

    I can’t wait for hockey to be over with – it’s hard to commit 2.5 hours all at once and I can’t get the episodes on my computer.

    Best line of the week – I think – was when Becky answered the phone – “Roy’s Rolls, but we’re closed”

  21. geenee says:

    LOL about Josh. He and Chesney have more brains than all the rest of the Corrie kids.

    Only another week and a bit until we get our evening show back – to be enjoyed until the *&#@ Olympics come on!

  22. kunzie says:

    Hi all:

    1) Where is everyone on this forum getting the cute little quilting squares beside their names?

    2) Ashley’s denial of the affair was pretty realistic, I thought. What man, in the history of the world, has ever voluntarily divulged an affair? And I loved watching Claire’s facial expressions as the nickels started dropping for her…she could tell from all the clues in her house, exactly what has been going on.

    3) I think Gerry rocks. I used to think Eileen rocked…but I have a hard time since Pat -for a normally compassionate person, she was strangely “OK” with helping herself to someone else’s husband.

    4) Leanne should have totally paid Roger back and taken all that stress off herself. End of.

  23. kunzie says:

    Hey, I just got a cute little quilting square beside my name. Cool 😉

  24. Michigander Fan says:


    We’re part of the Amish Mafia.


  25. kunzie says:

    LOL!!! Except for John, who has a photo. Maybe we can sell him a free-range goat or something 🙂 🙂

  26. pip says:

    Oh, I just noticed that we each have our own unique quilting square! I feel so special ;).

    I guess it is unrealistic to expect Ashley to ‘fess up voluntarily, but for goodness sake, the whole street knows what was going on, Becky included (and Blanche as well?). No chance Claire wasn’t going to find out sooner or later. Isn’t this how Watergate began for Nixon?

  27. glacia says:

    Okay you members of the Corrie Nostra, if you have a WordPress account and are logged in, your profile pic shows up.

    If you ain’t member or you ain’t signed in, you gets a quilt.

    Hmmmm…I wonder if I can alter it to have random corrie characters pop up instead.

  28. kunzie says:

    If that happens…I’d like to request the Danny Baldwin square 🙂 :). Failing that I am quite happy to be The Blue Square.

  29. papasmurf1964 says:

    Here’s my picture!

  30. beanie says:

    LOL LOL LOL Amish Mafia/Corrie Notra I was wondering how to add an avatar. I guess I must have signed in the the old site.

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