Okay, so here’s the story. We ran out of Flaming Nora updates as our lovely UK correspondent went on hiatus in September of last year. Course, I realized this AFTER I had erased the episodes from my pvr.
In a panic I consulted your crack team of Corrie updaters and during Facebook and Youtube breaks throughout the work day, this is the VERY abridged version of events we came up with. So let’s pretend this is a big old Mad Lib update where you all get to fill in the blanks of important stuff we forgot.
So here it is…yeah, in point form.
Cilla gets hired by Frank as his attendant/eye candy. They seem to make a fine couple and Frank does have a few bucks behind him. He lets Cilla know that his whole house is equipped with CCTV and every move she makes will be filmed. So with that out of the way he has her take him to the Rovers where he treats Fizz and John to drinks while Fizz treats Frank to ‘Tales of Cilla’.
Haley’s Aunt Monica dies and she’s very shaken up by this because Auntie Monica was the only member of her family who accepted her as she was. Initially she says she won’t go to the funeral because her whole disapproving family will be there, but in the end she decides she owes it to her aunt to go.
Jack and Vera celebrate their 50th anniversary. Dev chauffeurs them in a fancy schmancy car to the Rovers, all of 50 feet – personally I thought he could have drove them around town a bit. At the Rovers Jack makes a lovely speech about the first time he met Vera at a fairground where he was working and how she was the loveliest girl at the fair. He ends his toast by saying that she is still the loveliest girl at the fair and in honour of their anniversary, he sings that song that Shirley Feeney used to sing on ‘Laverne and Shirley’.
Paul pretends to be Jack in order to get a 20K loan for the restaurant. When he gets it Leanne tells Roger that she will pay him back the loan in full. However, Paul convinces her that the money would be better spent invested back into the restaurant and that ‘Roger the Lodger’ can just wait. I was expecting her to give him say 10K, maybe 5K – but no, she gives him a cheque for a whopping 2K. bitch.
Steve and Michelle are off to Ireland. Yeah, whatever.
Eileen and Jerry have a few dates. When Jerry invites her to his house, they can’t get any privacy from the kids and end up using the shed for chat and wine. They end up playing their music too loud and Gail comes banging on the shed to tell them to knock it off. To give her a show, Eileen tussles her hair, undoes a few buttons, exposes her bra and comes swaggering out of the shed staggering and hanging off of Gerry. Gail is INCENSED!
Earlier that day, Gail gives David a hard time about not going to the school picking up his grades. After she’s let all holy hell loose on him, he produces the grades paper he picked up…worse yet, the only course he wrote an exam for he scored an A+. On a side note, Jason is trying to keep everyone from triggering the bat-shit crazy button on David.
After a talk from Audrey about the marriage, Claire returns home to Ashley. Even after Claire tells Casey to push off (but in a very nice way), the big eyed freak is convinced that Ashley is going to leave Claire for her and when he tells her instead that he’s dumping her, she gets upset ad her eyes get even more psycho. Meanwhile back at home, Claire asks Ashley point blank if he slept with Casey and that if he loves her and if their marriage has any chance of surviving he’ll tell the truth. Ashley says, ‘No, no of COURSE I didn’t sleep with Casey.’ I gots a feeling this is going to bite him in the ass later.
The Angela’s Ex-Hubby Club is pressuring Norris to confess who he’s planning to marry.
Our John remembered that Vernon wore a Captain America t-shirt. But really it was Eileen who should have the cape because when a couple of thugs come into the kebab shop and try to make off with a free meal, she KLUNKS their heads together and it’s all KA-POW, KAAAAAAAA-BLOOEY for those chumps and they go running. Eileen shouts after them, ‘Donair come back!’ (Okay, I made that one up.)
David saw Amber all dolled up for her celebratory A+ results dinner with Dev and he said she looked like a hooker.
From our John again in another Jerry/Eileen date related bit: Jody, in an effort to remind viewers who she is, sprayed ketchup (or, as they sometimes call it in the UK, “red sauce”) all over Jerry’s floral print shirt, causing him to change into a plaid shirt that matched the table cloth at Valandro’s.
Finally, Debbie contributed this comment, ‘Wait, who is Mel again?’
So that’s it in a nutshell. Ms. Hanna also pointed out that visual updates of the shows are available if you klicken-sie here.