Here it is …you’re update from last week. Again, it’s abridged just because…okay….look….I’m lazy and I’m hoping you’ll all forgive knowing that your regular Corrie Canuck updates are just around the corner.
The Worst Writing in The World
Speaking of lazy….the wrapping of Big Eyes McGee (aka ‘KC’) was probably some of the worst writing I’ve seen in a long time. I think the writers were shit bored of it already and just wanted to wrap it up…either that or they just don’t care about the Peacocks since Fred went to the buffet in sky.
I also beginning to think that they purposely make Ashley into such a hothead so that we believe he is so upset that he just can’t think straight…thereby allowing the sloppiest of writing to play out.
KC is still slinking around the Peacocks and Claire is naively letting her invade their lives by inviting her around for tea, etc. Ashley, instead of saying to Claire that he thinks KC is unstable and doesn’t want her around, frets and frets while Big Eyes at once plays pals with Claire while being bat shit crazy stalker lady with Ashley.
So this is really what I don’t understand. Why would Ashley ignore all her craziness? I know he doesn’t want Claire to know about the rumpy pumpy that went on while she was away, but he could even say to her that he thinks KC has the wrong idea about them, or she’s confused. It’s already been established that she’s emotionally delicate….Hello, didn’t Claire meet her though a suicide prevention hotline?
Anyway, he tells her about a million times to leave them alone, which of course she won’t all the while talking more and more irrationally about how they are destined to be together. Then decides to leave Freddy with Kirk of all people at the butchers while he runs an errand. The minute he’s gone KC pops in and tells Kirk that Ashley told her to pick up Freddy and off she goes with the baby.
Again, why in the HELL would he let that baby out of his sight even for a second? Freddy has already been locked in a car at the park by mom and oh yeah, kidnapped the night his house burned down. Now, some crazy woman is hassling you and you’re going to leave your baby with a man who says he’ll try not to confuse the baby with prime rib?
When he returns and finds out that KC has the baby, he calls her and she tells him that Freddy is safe and that they are at her flat. When he gets there Freddy is in the pram out on the balcony and KC is ready to explain to him that they are meant to be together and he just can’t see that. Ashley tries to open the door, but it’s locked and KC won’t give him the key. Hmmmm, I’ve never actually seen a door that you lock from the inside with a key…but maybe that’s only because I live in the crazy world called ‘reality’.
Seriously, at this point I’m breaking martini glasses and resorting to crack cocaine to get me through the writing. What exactly was stopping Ashley from getting his son from the balcony? The brick wall that is KC? Or that impenetrable substance called GLASS.
What he does decide to do is go into her bedroom to collect one of the thousand Ashley photos she has in the flat – leaving her enough time to open the door, grab Freddy and get all Michael Jackson on his ass with baby/balcony fun. Oh no, who would have thought it was unwise to take your eyes off of her?
Luckily, Audrey had seen KC drive off with the baby, so she grabbed Claire and they head off to the apartment. When the arrive at the flat, KC tells Ashley to get rid of them, but when he goes to tell Claire to hoof it, she barges in to confront KC. KC wants him to tell Claire that it’s over and that she’s the one he wants and they’re going to get married.
Oh, meanwhile the cops have arrived and Audrey, still outside the flat confronts D.I. Parks (aka the poor son of a bitch who has to deal with this family) asking him why he isn’t doing something. Like, arriving at the scene and taking stock of he situation before barging into a volatile situation?
Back in the flat, KC wants Ashley to tell Claire that he’s in love with KC and that they’re through. He’s also to get down on bended knees and ask her to marry him. Ashley resists and Claire starts hitting KC with some home truths about her baby Reese which is enough to get her inside and get her to hand over Freddy to Claire.
KC then makes a dash for the balcony but Ashley stops her before she can jump. Claire says, ‘Let her jump.’ Nice touch.
So that wraps up that other than Claire is not happy at all to find out that Ashley did sleep with KC, but at this point I no longer care what happens with these two.
The Very Cool Story Line
Haley attends Aunt Monica’s funeral and as suspected there are some unkind words said to her by her jerk relatives. Monica’s brother however his happy to see her and as she leaves he gives her some of Monica’s possessions that she wanted Haley to have including a jewelry case.
Back home Haley goes through the box and finds a secret compartment with a letter. Inside is a pic of a young man and a letter. Becky oversees the photo and makes some comment about what a piece of ‘alright’ he is. Haley yells at Becky and tells her to leave her alone.
They make up a few scenes later and Haley tells Becky that the picture is of Harold, the man that Haley was born as. There’s some lovely writing where Haley explains that she can’t even relate to that person and how hurtful it is to be reminded of that life. Becky is very understanding, so much so that Haley tells her what the letter in the box said….she has a son that she didn’t know about and he’s come looking for his father.
Becky thinks Haley should talk to Roy about this, but the problem is that Roy thinks Haley was virgin when the met both as a woman and as a man. Turns out that Roy was the original 40 year old virgin so Haley lied about never having had sex as a man. She tells Becky that she can’t tell Roy now because he’d never understand why she lied.
Becky then convinces Haley to get a Private Investigator to find out who her son is and to bring back a report. They hire P.I. Sexy for the job and £300 later he’s on the case!
The Merry Widower
Norris takes Rita out for a fancy dinner and asks her to marry him. She thanks him and gives him a very firm ‘no.’. Apparently, she thought this day would come and has been practicing what she’d say.
In Other News
Tyrone is back and jealous of Paul.
Gayle is being haggy to David and embarrassing him when he tries to apologize to Mel. So he’s on the warpath and decides to unplug her freezer and throw away the courier packages she receives.
Kayleigh got drunk at a party.
Lloyd and Mel seem to be cozying up to each other.
Darryl still hasn’t bathed.