Update for Wednesday June 11, 2008

The Purloined Letter

Perturbed by this vanishing mail business, Tyrone tells Molly that he’s decided to lay a trap for Paul, whom he suspects of stealing the Duckworths’ mail. Molly cracks about C.S.I. Miami and Ty gets all excited about how he’s always wanted to be a cop, like the really cool ones on American TV.

He starts doing his bad American accent when Paul sneaks up behind him and does a better one. Later, Paul does indeed pocket the letter so Tyrone reckons the jig is up.

Tyrone arranges an inquiry in which he lays out the evidence of the missing letter. To be more effective, he should have worn aviator sunglasses which he would take on and off, kept his hands on his hips, all while looking up to the sky as he delivers his speech in a low baritone. Hey, it works for David Caruso.

Paul admits that he did indeed steal the letter but for a good reason: he bought a massage chair for his grandparents. It was in their name so they’d get the lifetime warranty. It was supposed to be a surprise but Tyrone went and ruined.

Later, in the backyard Paul calls Tyrone fat as well as Barney Rubble and that he should take off, as Paul is family and he is not.

Hopped Up on Goofballs

Darryl manages to make friends with the only kid in town skeezier than he is, a loser named Stig. Mr. Stig has asked Darryl to hold on to some uppers, black beauties, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, downers, ‘ludes, X, goofballs, tryptophan, or whatever it is the kids are into these days. Stig is always being raided so he asked Darryl to look after them. Darryl is concerned that after what happened to Jodie, he fears what Jerry would do to him. He also admits to David that he’s never done drugs, nor has David but David does offer to hide them. Darryl’s Uncle Gluey would be so proud.

David looks for a perfect spot until he finds a doll of Bethany’s and starts unscrewing the head to hide the drugs in there.

Christian, I am Your Father

At the flat, Roy is going over his new eco-friendly tea kettle while Hayley looks distracted. Later in the café, Roy admits that, even if the circumstances were based on a lie, it’s good that Christian has met Hayley. Hayley says life is done in practice, not in theory and what she needs is his support, not his principles.

Later, Becky, directly but diplomatically, tells him more or less the same thing and adds that he’s willing to dish it out but doesn’t like it deflected back on him. Roy becomes uncomfortable with the conversation and asks that it ends immediately.

This is why I like Becky now. She’s trying, and succeeding, to go straight but she’s led a hard enough life to see people’s dark sides, even when others don’t. She was one of the first ones to smell a rat around K.C., after all.

Later still, Becky talks to Hayley, saying that her introduction to Christian is going to be difficult, seeing as it was based on a lie and that’s going to be hard to get out of. She also compares the moment to The Empire Strikes Back when Luke learns his father is Jar Jar Binks Darth Vader. Hayley has decided she can’t go any further and will have to never see Christian again.

In other news

John Stape got contacts. Fizz acts like she’s never heard of them. He also reminds Sally that a gap year for Rosie may not be so bad. And Carla’s got it in for some dashing Scot client named Tony Gordon.


About shatnerian

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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19 Responses to Update for Wednesday June 11, 2008

  1. kerry says:

    What? No Alshey/Claire update?
    Wow! I am SO sick of that story line! Ashley needs to grow a pair and Claire just needs to get laid good and proper.

    Oh…and Darth Vader is Luke’s dad? Great….ruin it all for me…

  2. glacia says:


    1) The Bruce Willis character is dead.

    2) The gal in the Crying Game is really a dude.

    3) The Kevin Spacey character was the real mastermind behind it all.

    4) Oh, and Bambi’s mother dies.

  3. John says:

    5) Samuel L. Jackson is the supervillain to Bruce Willis’ superhero.

    6) Water is lethal to the aliens.

    7) After the closing credits, Samuel L. Jackson drafts Iron Man to the Avengers

    8- Oh my God, I was wrong. It was Earth all along.

    9) Samuel L. Jackson is tired of these motherf—ing snakes on this motherf—ing plane.

  4. glacia says:

    10) John likes to type out ‘Samuel L. Jackson’.

  5. glacia says:

    Okay, my comments about the show.

    1) I agree with Jack, what’s better than brown sauce?

    2) Now that he’s go the contacts, will John finally get a decent haircut. The Adrian Mole meets Waldo look is soooooooooooo over.

    3) When David was looking for a place to stash the drugs, I was all ‘In the Canada Cup! IN THE CANADA CUP!!!!’

    4) I want that tea kettle.

    5) That is all.

    6) Signed, Glacia.

  6. glacia says:

    7) I love how all the hotties on the show are either Scottish or Irish. Go Celts!

  7. Michigander Fan says:

    My favorite is “Tom Hanks dies in the end”.

    Someone ruined that movie good and proper for me by just blurting that out. This is while the movie was still in the theater mind you.


  8. Michigander Fan says:

    “Darryl manages to make friends with the only kid in town skeezier than he is, a loser named Stig.”

    John, you read my mind – I thought the exact same thing!!!

    Maybe we should take up a collection and send a case of soap (preferably Lava Soap) to the Granada Studio, ATTN Darryl Morton. Do you think that would send a message that he’s turning our stomachs a little?


  9. Michigander Fan says:

    Other thoughts:

    When David not-so-casually dropped hints about “holding Stig’s stash”, I thought for sure that he was going to dope the milk (or the water in the teapot) so that everyone in the family would end up stoned. I think David would think that was pretty hilarious.

    I’m a little concerned that it ended up in Beth’s doll. That seems a little… dangerous.

    Glacia, I also want that teakettle. Badly.

    I thoroughly enjoyed Becky holding a mirror up to Roy like that, and I thought the Darth Vader thing was a nice touch. I am really starting to like Becky.

    Paul showed a little bit of his nasty side to Tyrone, but not in front of witnesses. But as I’ve said, Tyrone is never going to outsmart Paul.


  10. geenee says:

    Poor Tyrone. He and Claire should start a support group for people whose partners don’t believe them. That darn Paul always comes out ahead. It’s not fair.

    Oh, and where’s the best place to hide drugs. In the toddler’s doll of course. I think I’ve seen this plot before.

  11. pip says:

    Maybe I have a sick mind, but would the writers be so evil as to kill off Bethany by drug overdose just to get rid of a character who is more of a hindrance to the action than anything else. I mean, the whole Platt family either ignores the fact that she’s not around or says something lame like “she’s at a friend’s”. How on earth does a child with no personality have friends?

  12. geenee says:

    I don’t remember them killing off kids before; usually it’s little babies! I hope the little actress doesn’t read these comments but she’s a natural for the coma scenes.

  13. S. Poole says:

    “When David not-so-casually dropped hints about “holding Stig’s stash”, I thought for sure that he was going to dope the milk (or the water in the teapot) so that everyone in the family would end up stoned. I think David would think that was pretty hilarious.”

    This made me think of the infamous Kenny Vs Spenny LSD episode. (NSFW, liberal use of the F-word)

    If it really happened it is just about the lowest trick ever, even Devilboy David wouldn’t dare go that low.

  14. Michigander Fan says:

    S. Poole,

    I was watching a documentary about the 60s one rainy Saturday morning, and they talked about the Haight Asbury area. Apparently there was a group of hippies who took it upon themselves to feed the hungry hippies who were indigent. But they also laced the sandwiches with acid. Because they were “helping” people to “free their minds”.

    No. I’m not making that up. Possibly The History Channel did, but I don’t think so.

    But yes, it is a VERY dirty trick.


  15. pip says:

    On the lighter side of lacing food with drugs, remember the hilarious ‘Barney Miller’ episode when someone brings hash brownies to the station and they all get stoned. That was funny.

  16. glacia says:


    mooshie – mooshie!

  17. TrudyC says:

    OMG – that episode of Barney Miller is soooo funny.

  18. Michigander Fan says:

    Well, at least hash doesn’t stay in your spinal fluid for the rest of your life like LSD.

    All in all, I think sneaking anything into people’s food or beverages is only funny on TV.


  19. pip says:

    No argument there, MF, only on TV. Of course that’s why we can enjoy a soap opera filled with tragedy, but we’d never enjoy the drama if it was happening to our own family and friends.

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