The Purloined Letter
Perturbed by this vanishing mail business, Tyrone tells Molly that he’s decided to lay a trap for Paul, whom he suspects of stealing the Duckworths’ mail. Molly cracks about C.S.I. Miami and Ty gets all excited about how he’s always wanted to be a cop, like the really cool ones on American TV.
He starts doing his bad American accent when Paul sneaks up behind him and does a better one. Later, Paul does indeed pocket the letter so Tyrone reckons the jig is up.
Tyrone arranges an inquiry in which he lays out the evidence of the missing letter. To be more effective, he should have worn aviator sunglasses which he would take on and off, kept his hands on his hips, all while looking up to the sky as he delivers his speech in a low baritone. Hey, it works for David Caruso.
Paul admits that he did indeed steal the letter but for a good reason: he bought a massage chair for his grandparents. It was in their name so they’d get the lifetime warranty. It was supposed to be a surprise but Tyrone went and ruined.
Later, in the backyard Paul calls Tyrone fat as well as Barney Rubble and that he should take off, as Paul is family and he is not.
Hopped Up on Goofballs
Darryl manages to make friends with the only kid in town skeezier than he is, a loser named Stig. Mr. Stig has asked Darryl to hold on to some uppers, black beauties, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, downers, ‘ludes, X, goofballs, tryptophan, or whatever it is the kids are into these days. Stig is always being raided so he asked Darryl to look after them. Darryl is concerned that after what happened to Jodie, he fears what Jerry would do to him. He also admits to David that he’s never done drugs, nor has David but David does offer to hide them. Darryl’s Uncle Gluey would be so proud.
David looks for a perfect spot until he finds a doll of Bethany’s and starts unscrewing the head to hide the drugs in there.
Christian, I am Your Father
At the flat, Roy is going over his new eco-friendly tea kettle while Hayley looks distracted. Later in the café, Roy admits that, even if the circumstances were based on a lie, it’s good that Christian has met Hayley. Hayley says life is done in practice, not in theory and what she needs is his support, not his principles.
Later, Becky, directly but diplomatically, tells him more or less the same thing and adds that he’s willing to dish it out but doesn’t like it deflected back on him. Roy becomes uncomfortable with the conversation and asks that it ends immediately.
This is why I like Becky now. She’s trying, and succeeding, to go straight but she’s led a hard enough life to see people’s dark sides, even when others don’t. She was one of the first ones to smell a rat around K.C., after all.
Later still, Becky talks to Hayley, saying that her introduction to Christian is going to be difficult, seeing as it was based on a lie and that’s going to be hard to get out of. She also compares the moment to The Empire Strikes Back when Luke learns his father is Jar Jar Binks Darth Vader. Hayley has decided she can’t go any further and will have to never see Christian again.
In other news
John Stape got contacts. Fizz acts like she’s never heard of them. He also reminds Sally that a gap year for Rosie may not be so bad. And Carla’s got it in for some dashing Scot client named Tony Gordon.