Keep On Runnin’, Gonna Have Me Some Fun If It Costs Me My Very Last Dime
At the Battersby-Brown’s, Kirk is passed out on the settee, surrounded by empties and leftover Chinese food. Chesney arrives a little angry that he no longer has a job, as Cilla had him quit on his behalf and Norris now referring to him as Little Lord Fauntleroy. He’s worried that without his paper round, he won’t be able to afford Schmeicel’s food. Cilla just wants to celebrate her new found £45,000 but Chesney goes off to school and Kirk drags himself off for a fry-up at Roy’s to “line his stomach.”
When he gets there, Fizz is already talking to Becky and Blanche about her £500, which Becky thinks is an insult but Blanche says she knows a few pensioners who wouldn’t mind that amount. Kirk corrects them: £45,000. Fizz instantly thinks it’s another scam and runs off to her mother’s place.
Later at Cilla’s, as she is seen using the home shopping channel to decide how best to invest her money, Kirk comes home, put off his lunch by all the raw meat at work. He asks Cilla how it’s going. So far, she’s bought a gourmet slicer and dicer and a little crystal angel with his own birth certificate.
He asks her if she’s considered buying the house they live in (they rent from the Council). “Why waste good money on a pile of old bricks?!” she asks. (Hey, Cilla’s being kinda of pragmatic there, given the current housing market in the UK)
Fizz enters and demands to know what’s up. When Cilla convinces her it’s for real, Fizz warns her mother that the more she has, she more she messes it up.
Later the big decision about how to
blow invest the money is still being made. Kirk suggests a swim with the dolphins, or sponsoring a donkey or bird of prey at a refuge.
“That’s it!” Cilla exclaims. “Where have I been the happiest I’ve ever been? Where did I really feel at home?”
Kirk thinks she could spend a month there but Cilla has other ideas.
Kirk thinks it’s brilliant, particularly for Chesney who will get a girlfriend with a ponytail and white socks, like in Grease.
“Oh, right,” Cilla says, suddenly remembering as he face falls. “Chesney.”
When Chesney gets home, Kirk is excited to tell him the news as Cilla tries to cut him off.
“Is that true?” Chesney asks. “Are we going to America?”
“What? Me on fruit machines and you outside with a bottle of pop? No, love.”
Later that evening, mother and son are alone at the dinner table. Chesney can sense how badly she wants to go. She knows what people think of her in Weatherfield but in Vegas, she was anonymous and every dollar in a slot machine brought that much closer to a fortune (other way around, sweetheart). But she denies how much she wants to go, so she suggests they make a fresh start in Skegness.
Finally, Ches stops playing along with the ruse that Cilla is going to choose anyone but Cilla. He says he can’t leave his dog, and his friends behind. In a pre-emptive move to avoid what would possibly be the biggest disappointment of his life, he tells her he wants her to go to Vegas. He figures he has Fizz and Kirk. He also says that Uncle Less should be back any day now but I think we all know now that Less is never coming back.
She refuses, asking what people would say, and not, I add, how could she leave her son behind.
“You’ll be in Vegas,” he answers. “What’ll you care?”
She promises she’ll send for him as soon as she finds a millionaire.
“That’s it, then,” Chesney says. “Sorted.”
And they hug and somehow, I think Chesney just grew up.
Viva El Preston
This is Ian Brown.
Lloyd scored tickets to an Ian Brown concert in Preston, where he intends to take Jodie on their date. He also booked a hotel overnight. What they don’t know is Jerry intends for Jodie to work at the kebab shop all weekend while he swans off in Milan with the boys on a bender.
When Jodie learns this finally, she yells at Jerry a lot and storms off. But he claims he’s still going to Milan. Even Dev takes her side.
Viva El Blackpool
Paul manages to get the Duckworths off to Blackpool for a few days. Tyrone and Molly realise he’s going to be even more insufferable.
Viva El Edinburgh (I think?)
Tony Gordon takes Carla to the home of Arthur’s Seat while Liam fumes and Rosie flutters her eyes at Liam.
Viva El Ballcock
Leanne is still getting Roger to fix the restaurant’s plumbing in the middle of his free meals.