Update July 9, 2008 – Hell’s Kitchen

Cheech and Rocco: Restauranteurs

Molly and Tyrone are doing the dishes and try to get Paul to do a bit cleaning but he brushes them off and heads off to the restaurant.

At the restaurant, Leanne is preparing for another day of business when two shady looking characters come in, holding a copy of the restaurant review she received the other day. They want to have a little lunch, and perhaps meet the chef but she tells them they’re not open yet and could they please come back later. They ask if they could order a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu and wait for the place to open.

Paul arrives and sees the men, recognises them, panics, and goes back home without them seeing him. They wait for some longer and when it’s clear he’s not showing up, they tell Leanne what’s up: they’re the guys he stole from at the last restaurant he worked out, and there were a few indiscretions as well. When he does arrive, they tell her, they are going to take back the money he owes them. Otherwise, Leanne can just tell them where Paul lives. She refuses and threatens to call the police. They advise against it, saying it will be bad for business and she’d lose her top chef.

Meanwhile at the Duckworth’s, Paul comes home and tells Molly and Tyrone he wasn’t supposed to work after all and offers to clean the house. Leanne calls to warn him that he’s going to have visitors shortly. He panics and tells Tyrone to hold them off while he bolts out through the back alley.

Tyrone answers the door to the two goons, asking after Paul. He claims not to have heard any “Paul” and tries to shut the door but Rocco plays the old “stick the foot in the doorway” trick favoured by salesmen and religious sollicitors. Becky passes by and asks Ty if he’s ok. They tell Ty they want their £500 back but aren’t bothered about the wife.

The men go back to the restaurant, threaten Leanne, take her float (about £200), a case of good wine, and the good knives. Leanne is too intimidated to do anything and now, she won’t be able to open her restaurant.

Later, Paul owns up to Molly and Tyrone and tries to get them not to tell Jack and Vera. He also cracks a joke about sleeping with a man’s wife when Molly slaps him -hard- and says there are going to be a few changes around here.

Funniest Line of the Night

Again it belongs to Blanche. Jason and Sarah come in to the café to ask for porridge. Becky says it’s really Roy who does that with his special pan that nobody else is allowed to use.

“I can do a porridge in the microwave,” says Blanche. “That’ll do for a Platt.”


Anyway, Eileen just heard from her son Todd, who is coming to the wedding. This is suprising given his history with Sarah but he’s even going to Jason’s stag party.

Also, Eileen bought herself a fancy new outfit. Turns out Gail got the same one a few weeks ago.

£1000 Gets a Lot of PS3 XBox 360 Games

Kirk bought Chesney a Full English and an PS3 XBox 360 to cheer him up. Fizz learns of the money Cilla left, as well as the fact that she was going to give Fizz some but took it back. Anyway, Fizz tells Kirk not to spend it all on video games and to save some for, you know, rent.

In Other News

Jerry and Kevin are off to Milan. Jerry’s kids (heh) kind of loathe him right now.

John promises Sally that he will talk to Rosie about her future. John also has a new haircut and is shopping at better stores these days.


About shatnerian

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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38 Responses to Update July 9, 2008 – Hell’s Kitchen

  1. beanie says:

    Who the heck goes out to eat porridge? Who the hell has a special ‘porridge pot’? Although I’ve never in all the years seen anyone make porridge or eat it…I guess I assumed it would have been on the list of other culinary masterpieces like beans on toast. BTW speaking of Corrie Food…WTF is FISH PIE??? And what the hell kind of wine DOES one serve with it? Eeeewwww

  2. thebigseester says:




  3. thebigseester says:

    I personally cannot imagine paying upwards of $3 for a quarter’s worth of oats. It’s my inner cheapskate coming out to play. If I’m going to eat out, I want it to be something that I can’t make better at home for less money.

    But, no, it’s not complicated.


  4. Glacia says:

    I freaking LOVE porridge. Seriously. I have it every single day and when the British Isle Show comes to town I race through the gates waving my money in a mad dash to get my Scotts Oats.

    But I’d never, ever pay for it at a restaurant.

    It reminds me of a business venture a friend of mine wanted to go into. Someone had the idea of opening cereal shops, same idea as a muffin shop, but this time you pay someone to pour FREAKING cereal into a bowl for you.

    I’m not completly sure, but I suspect they’re out of business.

    And John ‘Jerry’s Kids’ HILARIOUS!

  5. geenee says:

    It seems that hardly anyone cooks anything at home on Corrie, but we have lots of people around here who can’t make coffee and have to get it at Tim Hortons. I nuke my oats in the microwave for 3 minutes and it tastes fine to me; more energy-efficient too than cooking it in a pot. I’d like to hear what Roy would say about that!

    I enjoy seeing Tyrone getting something on Paul for a change. Too bad he hadn’t let the guys into the house.

    So Todd’s coming to the stag and the wedding. That should be interesting! I wonder if he really does come back.

  6. John says:

    When I was in Scotland, my gf’s granny used to make porridge in a special cast iron pan in an old oven where it would sit overnight. I used to have it with meusli and it was the best thing ever on a cold December morning. I can totally see Roy being anal about who uses his special pan.

    I imagine Northern England is much the same as Scotland where damp is a colour so those mornings where the cold goes right through you, then nothing else but porridge will do.

    Sometimes I go to breakfast a little too often and get sick of the menu with its endless variation of eggs benedict and find myself tempted to just order the porridge.

    That said, Sarah and Jason live down the street and it would be twice as fast and 300% cheaper to put some damn porridge on themselves. Hell, they know Gail will do it if they ask.

    I just love the idea that Blanche thinks Sarah is too common to enjoy porridge from a stove.

    But yeah, there are a lot of people who just don’t like to cook at all and eat out all the time.

  7. pip says:

    Ugh, John, please don’t refer to anyone’s cooking habits as ‘anal’ when I’m eating my breakfast.

  8. Chris says:

    Long time listener, first time caller… just wanted to bring to your attention, I think Kirk and Chesney bought a Xbox360, not a PS3. My GF’s son has an Xbox 360 and it looks exactly like the game console that was seen at Cilla’s place.

  9. whitehorsefan says:

    I love porridge, I make it regularly at home, on the stove, with old fashioned oats. The microwave stuff, sorry genee, is nothing like the real thing.

    But, I also bought porridge at a restaurant in town which has sadly closed. I have no idea how it was made, but it was the creamiest, most fabulous meal ever. Perfection. Bliss. The woman who made it was the Picasso of porridge.

    Now, why someone would order spaghetti and tomato sauce at a restaurant is beyond me.

  10. geenee says:

    My Scottish mother wouldn’t eat porridge, having had too much of it as a kid, but she made it on a wood stove, in a pot for us. It was good, and thicker than the microwave stuff but she didn’t have a special pot for it. I have to give her credit for the best porridge, stew, and rice pudding ever. I really don’t want to have to wash a porridge pot though, so will continue to nuke it.

    If you get the oats at the Bulk Food Store, they probably don’t even cost a quarter a serving!

  11. Michigander Fan says:

    I’m a HUGE fan of oatmeal – I make old fashioned rolled oats and Irish Oats all the time. Plus I recently got turned on to Red River – yum!

    But I wouldn’t pay for it at a restaurant. I used to know someone who, no matter where she went to eat, she would always order the cheapest thing on the menu, which was invariably either a tunafish sandwich or a grilled cheese sandwich. My point was, if you’re going to eat out, order something you can’t make at home.

    I’m a big fan of waffles for breakfast, because I don’t own a waffle iron. I feel all fancy eating waffles.


  12. Michigander Fan says:

    The bigger picture here is that when you spend all your money on the little things, you cannot afford the big things. The $4 people pay for a cappucino at Starbucks adds up, if they do it regularly. Those kinds of decisions are helping keep Sarah and Jason living with Gail, and not in a place of their own.

    I splurge on Tim Hortons once in a while. Otherwise I make coffee at home. (Or wait until I get to work, where it costs me nothing!)

    On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know why Dr. Who isn’t on this summer?


  13. Michigander Fan says:


    Yeah. No, I was rounding up. I’ve crunched the numbers, and bulk oats run about 7 cents a serving.

    Yes, I am that OCD.


  14. Michigander Fan says:

    Plus I was counting milk, sugar etc. in my round up to a quarter.


  15. Michigander Fan says:

    And I didn’t include the gas or electric cost of cooking it, because I don’t know how to quantify that.

    Plus that would be weird.



  16. John says:

    As for Doctor Who, no idea. CBC is weird about that sort of thing. I guess it has to do with the Olympics disrupting all programming.

    We started off at 3 weeks behind the original relaunch with Christopher Eccleston. With the new season airing in the fall, it would be more like 6 months. Now why does that sound familiar?

  17. glacia says:

    Okay, does it say something about how exciting this whole Paul/Tyrone/Leanne reaturant storyline is when all the comments here have centred around PORRIDGE?

  18. John says:

    Chris, welcome to the fold.

    Thanks for the clarification. The last time I played a video game console, it came with a game involving a little Italian man jumping over barrels thrown by a giant ape.

  19. missusmac says:

    Interesting to see how much of an outsider John is when it comes to the Cilla situation. He thinks Chesney is worse off without her. Bahahahahahahaha!

    It will be interesting to see if Fizz moves in with Kirt to raise Chesney.

    I believe Ken and Deirdre must be dead, because Dierdre didn’t come for the free drinks.

  20. glacia says:

    I freakin’ LOVE MF’s serial/cereal comments.

    I heart your OCD, girlfriend.

  21. Piper says:

    I too noticed John’s makeover – he looked like a totally different person. I think he got rid of the glasses a few weeks ago but I’m glad he got rid of that disaster of a hair cut. He now looks younger and not quite so pudgy (it must have been those jackets and sweater vests).

  22. Gayle says:

    I don’t care what John has done to his hair etc. I find him totally creepy. Just something about him. Perhaps it is the sickening way Sally carries on about him. These literature lessons are a joke. Just pick up a book!

    I really wish Tyrone and Molly would get their own place! What is stopping them? After the shabby way Jack and Vera treated him he should leave.

  23. whitehorsefan says:

    Oooh, I get to be the contrarian again!

    I don’t think I like John’s new look. To me he looks like a very geeky guy trying to look cool. I find it a bit embarrassing for him. And I am rather fond of the geeky look, myself.

  24. Michigander Fan says:


    The important thing is to OWN the OCD. Not be ashamed of it. Monk taught me that.


  25. kerry says:

    John..hate to disappoint you but Granny makes her porridge in the microwave (the ONLY thing she’ll make in the microwave). She keeps it warm for you in the Raeburn because you (and I) get up WAY too late in the morning – as in 7 or 8am.

  26. John says:

    No, that was only the last time we were in Scotland. The first we went time she actually did it in the Raeburn.

  27. geenee says:

    LOL michigander. I like Monk too.

    It is sickening the way Sally goes on about John – but she’s always had that problem – though mostly with bosses. There will be ructions between her and gurls, since they like him too.

  28. Pink Lady says:

    I will forever remember July 9, 2008 as the day of the great porridge debate!!! Crikey!

    If I worked in the cafe, I think I’d be tempted to tinker with the porridge spot just a little – like move it slightly. Any thoughts on that reaction?

    Let’s get to a spicier topic: anyone tired to seeing Rosie jiggle her girls around? She is her mother’s daughter.

  29. Piper says:

    Does anyone else think Rita has a new wig? It took me a few episodes to pin point what was different about her. It looks less red and I think the style is different – more wind swept than before.

  30. geenee says:

    I think we’d better get used to Rosie and the girls; looks like she’s being groomed to be the new femme fatale.

    I thought Rita’s hair looked good. She must have gone off-street for that hairdo.

  31. missusmac says:

    Yes, I noticed Rita had a new ‘do. AND that she hadn’t been into Audrey’s lately…

    I wonder why Carla hasn’t nipped Rosie’s crush on Liam. She’s obviously trying to mentor Rosie in her own Cruella way, and that would mean nipping that crush in the bud.

  32. Michigander Fan says:

    I think Rita’s new ‘do makes her look younger – the old one was a little to tight and rigid – very aging.

    Thumbs Up!


  33. kerry says:

    I wonder in which upcoming episode Rosie gets raped?
    She really does put it ‘all out there’. If she was my daughter (she’s 16, right?) she wouldn’t be allowed out of the house until I approved her dress. I wonder if Sally is jealous of her, um, assets?

    Is that evil of me?

  34. eps says:

    I want to know how much Roy charges for oatmeal? Is it the steel cut kind?

    I have always thought that the full breakfast with pot of tea for
    L 2.95 (don’t have a real pound sign – or can’t figure out where, if I do) on the board at Roy’s was a very cheap offer.

  35. howdi says:

    Rita’s new wig is fab.
    John’s new look is so-so OK.
    Chesney is starting to look grown up and weird – but in a nice way.
    Gail’s face is aging badly. Her hair, however, is great. No wig there.
    Fizz seems to be sporting a new, more mature look.

  36. Corrie newbie says:


    I gave it a couple of days to see if I’d be less offended by your comment but no such luck. One word for your rape joke (?): inappropriate.

    No one deserves to be raped, no matter their style of dress.

    Let’s not be too threatened by an attractive girl flaunting her assets, however misguidedly.

  37. kerry says:

    That would be completely my fault. Open mouth = words fall out.

    My apologies.

  38. Corrie newbie says:

    Maybe I’m too sensitive and can’t take a joke – appreciated nonetheless!

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