Jamie is quite surprised to discover to have a dog for a housemate. When Liam asks him what he thought the whimpering from the bedroom all night was about Jamie just gives him a knowing smirk. Later Liam tries to bring the puppy into the pub* only to be chucked out by his sister, who is unsure of the rules regarding dogs in the pub, and besides, she is trying to stay in the good books with Liz, for reasosn she will not divulge to her brother.
Molly comes by the factory later to tell Liam that the howling coming from his house is upsetting the pigeons and he needs to get it sorted straight away. At first Liam acts quite boorishly towards her, but soon changes his tune and charms Molly into fetching the dog and bringing it to the factory, but she has to sneak it past the girls somehow.
When Liam returns home at the end of the day he discovers that Jamie has built a barricade of sorts to keep the dog out of the kitchen. The two argue a bit about the dog, Jamie suggests that an ‘accident’ will solve all the problems. Sounds like he has been talking to Ken about how to care for a dog. Violet and Maria come by for a visit, Violet is having fun playing with the dog, which Maria interprets as an expression of maternal instinct. She asks Maria if she has a name for the baby yet, and also asks Liam if he has a name for the dog. No, on both counts. Maria suggests Rex as a name (for the dog), only reinforcing the theory that Mother Sutherland drank heavily while pregnant with Kirk and Maria.
At the end of the day Maria stops by to tell Liam that if he wants to, she can return the puppy, it was a daft idea for a present anyway. Liam says no, he will keep the dog, and has even chosen a name. Since the puppy is a bit scruffy and a bit of a shambles, Liam is going to name it Ozzy.
*The smurfman has been in a pub in England with dogs running about freely. Oddly enough it was the last place The Sex Pistols played in the UK before their final US tour with Sid Viscious.
Leanne and Paul discuss what his 10,000 pounds investment is going to get him. After some debate, he will get a bigger share of the profits and total control of the kitchen.
Roger and Janice argue about going to dinner at The Italian, as he is quite content to stay at the pub and have some beer and crisps, and besides, the only time Leanne asks him to the restaurant is when she wants some money or a free service call. They bicker over whether or not Leanne is a scrounger. (A call girl yes, a scrounger? Never!)
At dinner Roger keeps moaning and whingeing until he tucks into his meal, which he proclaims to be flaming delicious! Janice cautions Roger to steady on, lest he actually start enjoying himself for a change. Things are going fine until they get the bill – for 200 quid. This sends Roger into a bit of a tizzy, and Leanne promises to get it sorted. She comes back, not with another bill, but rather a cheque for 8,000 quid to pay back the money she owes Roger. It was all a bit of a wind up.
Steve wanders by to discover Michelle unloading the beer truck and wonders where Vern is. An age old question indeed when there is work to be done. In the back room Steve and Michelle talk about how to bring up the notion of Liz and Vern moving out of the pub so they can move in together. Vern pops in with a roll of toilet paper in hand but slips out before Steve can an answer from him about what he has im mind for the 50th birthday of Liz.
In the pub later when the topic of Liz’s 50th birthday is brought up, Dev has a bit of a laugh at the notion of her turning 50. Steve points out that Dev is likely the next one to turn 50, but Dev denies this idea, saying that it is still many years away. Michelle gives him a look of disbelief, which puts Dev on the defensive.
Steve manages to talk to Vern in the back room about what he has in mind for Liz and the big birthday, but Vern will neither confirm nor deny that he has planned a party, only that he has arranged something better than a party. No help there then. While Dev is doing exercises to combat signs of a second chin (and his true age) he and Michelle tell Steve that he has get a party sorted for his mom, how tough could it be, what with him owning a pub and all.
The nice slippers Steve had in mind for a present will not suffice it would seem.
David and Darryl debate the drawbacks of attending weddings. David tells young Morton that when Martin shows up for the wedding his dad will put things in order.
When the wedding party returns from the rehearsal David is lurking around the street, and Gail reminds him that he promised to make himself scarce for the wedding. Mother and son have the same conversation about how it’s always Sarah’s day and never his. Gail then informs David that Martin is not coming to the wedding because his baby is ill, and David is clearly surprised by this turn of events. Gail tries to comfort her son and tells him that surely Martin will call him when he has a chance. David slinks off to be on his own and gets a bit weepy.
David then goes into the Platt flat in a bit of a state and pens a suicide note – ‘If I don’t have a family then I don’t have a life. I’m sorry for all the hurt I have caused. At least this way I will never cause you any trouble ever again.’ He leaves the note on the table, addressed to Gail.
Sean is driving everyone mad about the supposed stain on his suit. Marcus is sending Sean pictures of his suit, one section at a time, and Sean is worried that he will look tawdry next to him. Violet volunteers to bring the suit to the cleaners while she is going to the city, and Jamie tells Violet he would be happy to drive her to town. (getting closer again these two) At some point there is discussion in the pub about the gender of the baby which sends Sean into one of his hyperactive monologues that he goes into when he is feeling guilty about something, what he calls a ‘smokescreen’.
Jamie sees Sean in the street later and tells him not to be such a git about the gender of the baby, and not to involve him in his deceptions, as Jamie is not as accomplished a liar as Sean is.
When Jason and Todd come home from The Rovers the night before the wedding Sean and Marcus are in their (clean) suits practicing how to strut their stuff. Jason had planned on an early night but Marcus has a bottle of tequila so it appears the party is just about to start.
The women of the Platt clan are milling about getting things organized. The flowers are delivered a day early which causes a bit of a stir. The phone rings, it is Martin calling to tell Sarah that he will be unable to attend the wedding and therefore won’t be able to give her away. Sarah is understandably upset at this but Gail comforts her with a few words of wisdom. Sarah asks her mother if she would lke to give her away at the wedding, which Gail is happy to do and it’s tears and hugs all around.
Later Sarah and Maria return to the flat while discussing how great it would be if Jason cried at the wedding. (the smurfman always gets a bit weepy at weddings, because he knows he will never go for a pint with his mate again) Sarah finds the suicide note on the table, and she and Maria read it together. Maria is shocked by the note, but Sarah is convinced that it is a trick, another product of his sick little mind. She decides to call his bluff and rings David, and when he answers she tells her brother that if he were stood on the edge of a cliff, she would have one word for him – Jump!
You go girl. Maria looks concerned though.
At the pub later when the family is gathered Audrey tells the young couple that they have a bit of a surprise in store, and tells Gail to share the news so Sarah and Jason can plan accordingly. To save money they had not planned on a honeymoon, but Gail has arranged five nights for them in a posh hotel in the Lake District. Smiles and hugs all round.
Outside the pub the young lovebirds linger in a doorway and Sarah makes Jason promise that they will never stop snogging in doorways.
As the three generations of Platt women make their way home they notice that David’s car is missing. They ask Darryl (who seems to wander the street randomly) if he has any knowledge of what happened to the car. Darryl gives one of his cryptic replies and the women are left in the dark as to what has happened to David and his car.
Back in the flat the debate over Sarah and David starts up, Sarah is upset that once again they are discussing David rather than thinking about her wedding day. In the living room Gail and Audrey ponder the pros and cons of calling the police about David and his car. In the kitchen Maria tells Sarah about the conversation she had with Darryl earlier, when young Morton assured Maria that David seemed perfectly fine that morning. This confirms Sarah’s suspicions about David so she rips up the suicide note and throws it in the bin, telling Maria ‘This time I win.’