Update – July 30, 2008 – Honeymoon’s Over

David Platt Suicide Watch

Gail has called in a day off at work to take care of her ill son. After almost losing him (or so she thinks) yesterday, she is going to stay home with him and try to be there for him. And, as David points out, make sure he doesn’t do anything silly.

Meanwhile at Lake Windermere (which I’ve seen and is lovely), Sarah and Jason wake up in their lavish, but unconsummated, wedding bed. Jason still doesn’t feel right about how things went yesterday but Sarah insists it was all an act and reminds Jason of the way he smiled at her when she asked if that suicide attempt was genuine.

“I know that smile,” she says. “Better than anyone.”

Meanwhile, Audrey is being frosty toward Maria about her knowledge of the suicide note and has no sympathy for her granddaughter.

Later, Sarah has room service sent up but Jason is too bent out of shape to think about fried bread. It’s clear they won’t enjoy their honeymoon so they go home.

When they get back, they meet Todd, to whom they explain why they’ve returned: to help Gail and be there for David. Todd heads back to London tomorrow.

At the Platts, everyone is being nice to David, except, of course, Sarah. She takes him aside and reminds him that he does not fool her. She also tells him that he didn’t make good on his promise to stop the wedding and now, she and Jason are married.

“Yes,” he replies. “But how long will it last?” How long, indeed?

Nifty Nifty, Looks Who’s Fifty!

It’s the morning of Liz’s 50th birthday and Steve is scrambling to arrange some kind of party. He also gave her her favourite bottle of perfume.

“We figured you like that one the best as you go through so much—er, you’re always wearing it,” he tells her.

Having arranged nothing, he heads over to Dev’s to ask what he has for hors d’oeuvres. Dev offers tater tots, pizza, and l’oeuf d’Ecosse. Then Paul Clayton comes in, overhears, and offers Sarah and Jason’s unused wedding buffet from last night for £125. Deal!

So, Liz comes into the Rovers for a hastily arranged surprise attending by about 10 people, including Deirdre and some guy — ZOMG! That’s Ken!!! Liz is little disapointed that her party wasn’t much but just then, Vernon gives her a birthday – with two tickets to Paris! And the bags are packed and the meter in Lloyd’s cab is running. So off they go.


Sophie is 13

The Websters’ other daughter, NotRosie, is turning 13 tomorrow and plans have been made to go bowling. Sally suggests they all go see the John Stape-approved play An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley, which is playing this year at the Shaw Festival.

Sophie and Kevin don’t seem interested. Oh, no? You don’t think late 19th and early 20th century British playwrights are hip? Not very now? Not hot? You’d rather watch something on the YouTubes?

Well, check this out:

How’d you like that, Sophie? Betcha think George Bernard Shaw’s pretty dope now, eh? Pretty phat, eh? Fo shizzle.

Anyway, they all end up at Liz’s birthday in the Rovers with Fizz and John and Rosie randomly comes in wearing a tea towel. Everyone’s aghast (except for Stape). The end.

And Carla came back. Doesn’t like Ozzy the puppy much.

(original broadcast: November 1, 2007)

About John

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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30 Responses to Update – July 30, 2008 – Honeymoon’s Over

  1. eps says:

    Headline on newspaper announcement thing in front of the Kabin:


    Inside the article: niece struck dumb, bro-in-Law struck dumber, mother found to be dumbest.

    Weren’t Sarah and Maria at each other’s throats for a long time when SL started working in the salon? I can’t remember what, is anything, happened to change that.

    John, I absolutely loved that video. How in the world did you find it?

  2. John says:

    The video was a link off the Shaw festival website, although those two gentlemen put me in mind of Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar for some reason:

  3. Glacia says:

    l’oeuf d’Ecosse.

    Is there any way you won’t charm the birds out of the trees?

  4. antik says:

    what was that Rosie was wearing.. ?? ..

  5. DarkEmpress says:

    Seriously Webster needs to reign in Rosie, but we know she never will. She is actually more childish than Rosie, thinking she is better than everyone fawning over John. I remember the episode when they were at the Rover’s and Rosie made a comment about Fiz being fat and instead of saying to her daughter “you shouldn’t talk about people like that” she added “I honestly don’t know what he sees in her” Jealous vulture!

  6. geenee says:

    I thought Rosie was wearing a bathing suit – but then a lot of celebrities wear dresses that look like bathing suits. I do wish that she and Sophie would take elocution lessons.

    Now Cruella has a puppy to hate.

    Gail has gone from total rejection of David to smothering him with love and attention. Of course, now the rejection has gone Sarah’s way and I’m feeling all sympathetic towards Sarah.

    It’s nice to see that Ken is still alive and I loved his descriptive words about Vernon, who is hardly dynamic.

  7. Gayle says:

    Could Gayle be any stupider? She works at a Medical Centre, why in God’s name is she not getting that kid the help that he desperately needs? Making him more toast is hardly going to help. Why don’t Jason and Sarah get their own place? Some honeymoon, sitting on the coach with her sicko brother. Again, where was Bethany?

  8. pip says:

    Gayle, I agree. Gail’s response to David’s suicide attempt is bizarre. If emotional blackmail were a Mack truck she’d be roadkill.

    Who on earth treats someone’s suicide attempt as fair comment on how they’ve been treated and decides the solution is to treat the poor attempter better? Isn’t it the current wisdom that a failed suicide attempt is a cry for help, and that help should be given? Toast and tea does not qualify as ‘help’.

  9. debbie says:

    I think Gail just doesn’t know what to do. But, she has just got to be stupid not to consult the medical professionals she has access to. Not only that, but when he was in school he didn’t fool the teachers for a minute, still he fooled Gail. She is such a moron.

    To be honest, I think the writers are making a mistake with her character. There is nothing about her that makes you understand where she is coming from. She is just an idiot and no one is sympathetic to an idiot.

  10. Mandy says:

    Okay, so David tries to kill himself and that makes trying to kill Jason okay? Oh, and even though Sarah DOES know David better than anyone, her new husband still doesn’t believe her? I have ALWAYS been on Sarah’s side in this, and even though I admit she can be catty sometimes, and even downright nasty, but at least she’s not completely insane, and she cares about her family. Aside from David. Which I don’t really blame her for.

    Rosie’s “outfit”… wow. She is a pretty girl. Very attractive. But tarting herself up like that is a disgrace… she needs to take cues from people like Maria and Michelle on how to dress sexy without looking like a total slut. Which she kind of is, so I mean… if the shoe (or tea towel) fits…

  11. Mandy says:

    Which, by the way, it clearly does NOT!

  12. debbie says:

    Mandy, I totally agree with you. Testify!

    Regarding Rosie, I kinda like the tarting up because it is pretty realistic for a girl her age. She doesn’t really know what sexy is and she is getting a lot of attention for what she thinks is sexy – dressing like a tart.

    She’ll get over it, but it’s kind of fun to watch her figure it out. I’m sure it’s great for ratings too. But, I think it’s pretty on point.

  13. papasmurf1964 says:

    The smurfman just about plotzed when he saw the outfit got at ‘Hookers R Us’

    I will say it again – Gail is one dumb bunny. Audrey is going that way as well.

  14. whitehorsefan says:

    Unfortunately I don’t think Gail’s reaction is that far off. I have known a medical professional who took her daughter on a shopping spree after (an admittedly less dramatic) suicidal gesture. I think Gail simply cannot confront the depth of the problem she is dealing with.

    The one I don’t understand is Audrey. David nearly kills Bethany, and then Jason, and she sticks up for him. Sarah on the other hand, she washes her hands of. That just did not make sense to me.

  15. Michigander Fan says:

    Pip said: Toast and tea does not qualify as ‘help’.
    Ah, but Pip, you forgot the warm bath she drew him!


  16. Mandy says:

    It may even have had bubbles. Do you think she supervised him in the tub like when he was a young lad?

  17. Michigander Fan says:

    Actually, (and I had forgotten this until just now) my BFF when I was in junior high had a “suicide attempt” which involved swallowing nearly an entire bottle of aspirin. The doctor’s response to her mother was to tell her to let her eat more sweets and watch mmore TV.

    No joke.


  18. Michigander Fan says:


    I think you’re right on about Rosie and the skanktastic wardrobe. I remember being that age, and while I never dressed quite like that, I will say that I viewed my budding sexuality as a sledgehammer as opposed to a feather.

    If you will.


  19. Kerry says:

    Toast, tea, and a bath.
    That’s what Shatnerian says cures everything.

    And it does…mostly.

    But not David. He needs therapy. So does the rest of the Platt family, for that matter.

    They need to all go off to Brat Camp. Oooh…I’d SO watch the Platt Family Adventure at Brat Camp!

  20. John says:

    Toast, tea, and bath as a cure all?


  21. geenee says:

    They did try counselling and we all know how well that worked. So now there’s hot bath, tea and toast and maybe retail therapy! What they need is the name of Shelley’s therapist. He sure turned her around!

  22. debbie says:

    Kerry, I want Shatnerian to offer you toast, tea and a hot bath mid labour. Then I want him to video tape your response.

  23. Kerry says:



    I’d SO do that, but I don’t think the language used would be appropriate for a family audience!
    Then again, I plan on being completely stoned off my arse, so I might just want that…who knows?

  24. beanie says:

    I agree with all of you about Gail’s stupidity, Audrey’s new found nastiness and of course Rosie’s ***** (WTF WAS THAT?)
    John I really enjoyed the the video. I live in Niagara but I’ve only been to the ‘Shaw’ once. Years ago we had recieved free tickets to see one of Shaw’s own works. I was bored to feakin’ tears and haven’t gone back.
    The funny thing is the reason we got the tickets was that the original recipient couldn’t use them because they had youg kids and…..IT WAS HALLOWEEN!!! Coincidence?? I think not. LOL

  25. beanie says:

    BTW I really enjoy Sophie. She is really witty and makes me laugh. I will admit that having a PVR (DVR in U.S) really helps because you can stop and replay live TV. I usually need a few tries to decipher Sophie’s code. LOL

  26. geenee says:

    Sophie is well cast and looks like she could be Kevin’s real daughter. I just wish she was easier to understand. I also enjoy Amber and wish she and Dev. had a storyline.

  27. Glacia says:


    I’ve always maintained that. She not only looks like Kev but so many of her mannerisms are Kev’s too.

  28. Modge says:

    Oh, yeah…Gail puts Demon Seed into the bath….he flashes back to Charlie Stubbs, another time and a different tub and much hilarity ensues…..oh, did anybody happen to notice if there was a chocolate fountain at the wedding?

  29. Modge says:

    Oh, yeah…Gail puts Demon Seed into the bath…he flashes back to Charlie Stubbs, another time and a different tub and much hilarity ensues…oh, did anybody happen to notice if there was a chocolate fountain at the wedding?

  30. DarkEmpress says:

    I’ve said Demon Seed needs an exorcist, isn’t Dr. Phil one?

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