She arrived with a face porcelain-perfect and nasty
Not sure what occurred but it ended with ‘plasty’
Streaming hair like Morticia, this bird hit the Street
Lots of bling that went clink, Gucci boots on her feet.
Custom built just for loathing, a snake in couture,
A red funky apartment decked out in velour,
With a spirally staircase that verges on hoaky
Perfect eyebrows and lips and a voice oh so smoky.
Her supports are few, but they’re quick to point out
Carla’s pain as her husband was whoring about.
Tears of loss when he died, Botox-stiff upper lip
Full of toughness and smarts, quickly getting a grip.
Did you love it or hate it -that moment of passion
When slacker club stubble was mauling high fashion?
Did you feel bad for Tony, possessive wee grump,
Did you cry for Maria, as dumb as a stump?
The indecent proposal, so carefully framed
Offered sharing a bed and no one would be blamed.
While the decent among us were quickest to scoff
A few more were screaming, “Hell, yeah! Take it off!”
For it can’t be denied, though it sounds awfully mean
That these two snogging in-laws just burn up the screen.
And while not all approve of the sneaking and lying,
At least it’s a change from Michelle freakin’ crying.