The ‘Welcome Back to Canada Glacia, How Was Paris – Oh Yeah, Vera’s Dead’ Update

I’m back puppets!   I actually got in from Paris on Sunday but life was all sixes and sevens and I had to watch what seemed like 27 hours of Corrie to get caught up first.   BTW – that might *seem* like a great time, but honestly after a bit it’s like looking into the sun – it burns, it burns!  But more on that in a bit.

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Eugoogalizer- one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly was?

The show opens with Jack struggling to come up with something to say at the funeral for Vera but the kids are telling him that he’s not required to and no one expects him to.   From my experience at funerals, I’ve NEVER seen a spouse or child give a eugoogly – nor was it ever expected.  

But Jack is worried no one will say anything so he presses on.  

Over at the Kabin the 1933 version Weatherfield 90210 are reflecting on Vera.  Emily starts by saying that ‘Vera, Ida and Ivy‘ were quite a team even though they were so different.   Rita says this was due to their mutual hatred of Elsie Tanner.  (For those of you who’ve just joined us, I’ll try to post some info on these ladies later in the week.)  Then Norris says something about moving away from Weatherfield ages a person and brings on early death.

Back at the Duckworth’s…sweet jesus…sweet tap dancing jesus….it’s TERRY DUCKWORTH!!!!   You may remember him from my references to him being the ‘Dr.Evil’ to Paul’s lame ass ‘Scotty Evil’.   Terry is looking decidedly old, fat and strangely enough, a lot like his dad….except evil of course.

Jack can’t really bring himself to hug Terry who doesn’t make things better by saying a rather insincere, ‘Gonna miss her….big time.’

He shakes Tyrone’s hand and introduces himself to Molly.   An akward moment goes by before Paul introduces himself to Terry, who needs reminding from Jack that this is Paul, as in Paul ‘Your Flippin Son’ Clayton.

Glacia belts down her vodka, takes a drag off of her imaginary cigarette and says to the telly, ‘You remember Paul don’t you, Terry love?  The one you wouldn’t give a kidney to?’   (A brief wrap history of their relationship can be found here.)

The hearse arrives with Vera and and her name spelled out in the back in flowers.   The people on the street come out of their houses to drive to the service and of course there is some various reflections:

  • Blanche comments that the hearse is a co-op and she is familiar with them as a professional funeral goer.  (Although she did mess up the time of the service earlier.)
  • Dev offers everyone a lift before accepting the one offered from Rita and Norris.  I have NO idea what that dialogue was for.
  • The factory workers can’t remember what she died of, but Sean suspects that she died of death.   Leanne uses this opportunity to give Janice grief about smoking.    (Take heart Leanne, all Manchester residents are now eligible for valuable rewards for keeping fit.  Maybe that will keep Janice on the road to good health.)
  • Liam tells Maria how Karla is mad that the workers have time off for the funeral. 
  • Eileen and Gayle decided to have a wee cat fight about David before going off into seperate cars.

At the funeral home we see everyone enter as we hear Elvis singing ‘Amazing Grace’.   I can’t figure out if that music is actually playing in the funeral home or, for whatever reason, the producers of the show have decided this situation needed a soundtrack.   If it’s the latter reason, I find it a bit weird and confusing – kind of like who is able to understand the baby on Family Guy.

At the funeral the minister asks if anyone would like to get up and say a few words.   Jack is looking very rough and doesn’t make any move towards the podium, to which Terry gets cross that his dad won’t say anything for Vera.  (Course,  true to form Terry didn’t want to actually take that responsibility himself.).

No one else offers a few words, so Jack decides he should go for it and we all get a bit worried as he stands up because he looks like he might have a heart attack himself.   He gets up to the podium and that’s where the show ends.

Okay…wtf?   NO ONE could have said a few words?  You don’t think someone could have arranged to have Ken to say something?  What about Roy?   I would have thought he may have offered.   It seemed a bit weird to me that no one was ready to eugooglize our Vera.

In Other News

David goes to court with Mom, Grandma and Tina.   He gets off with a fine and points taken off of his drivers licence when he gets it.   Tina goes back home with David as Gayle and Audrey go to the funeral.  Tina asks about David’s troubled past and he tells her the days of driving cars off into ponds are far behind him.

Michelle wants to know how Alex is, but doesn’t want to contact his mom in case she gives the impression that she wants to invade Alex’s life.  (And a small part inside me dies of boredom.)

Tony seems to be suspicious of Carla’s intentions with Liam when he arrived at the bar. 

Galen Weston looks really terrible in a turtleneck in that commercial for President’s Choice cheesecake.

Comments About the Last Two Weeks

Love Tina!  Love that she brings vodka and George Orwell to a date.   I love David with her…and without sounding too ‘John Stape’ish, he’s looking pretty good lately.

Rita, taking names and kicking ass vis-a-vis the Rosie/Sophie fights was brilliant.  I like how she has Rosie’s number.

OMG – did Sean quote ‘Murial’s Wedding?’   “You’re terrible, Muriel.”  Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!  Almost as good as my other favourite line, ‘Wait, let her finish her Orgasm first.’

Vera wanting to take up texting was priceless.   I’m so glad they gave her some great lines before she went to the great seaside resort in the sky.

Special Extra Feature – In Which Glacia Seeks Revenge

Okay, so Paris rocked.   It always rocks and it rocks because the city is gorgeous, the food fabulous and because despite it’s reputation the people are nice and polite.   Seriously.   I will always defend that statement because I’ve never received any bad service or been treated rudely by anyone there.  

But here’s the thing.   Everyone says Parisians are rude.   I just can’t figure it out…until this trip.  I found him.   I found the guy what’s giving Paris a bad name.   So while I know that this is our Corrie blog, we do sometimes go off onto different subjects like Football, historical facts, Morrissey, recipes – but now let me introduce one more category – revenge, sweet, sweet revenge.

Because this blog has a nice big readership – even a bit international – I’m going to use it to tell you that if you are ever in Paris and you have the idea to go to Café des Deux Moulins (the cafe where Amelie worked in that movie of the same name) – don’t.   Just don’t because the world’s biggest jerk works there.

A long story short, before we could get two syllables out our waiter stops to tell us…and I quote….‘No, please only English because if you can’t speak perfect French I can’t understand you.’   Which came as a bit of suprise to us because we had just spent the last 2 weeks conversing with everyone else in Paris with no issues seeing as my husband is from Quebec and I’ve actually been studying french for the last three years and even though yes we have accents I think we can order two beers in french without too much freakin’ difficulty.  (As a side note, the other customers were on our side and buddy did offer up a weak ass apology.’)

So if you go to Paris, screw ‘Deux Moulins’ – Instead go to Cafe M at 1 Maubeauge where they will let you speak French or English with pleasure, serve you Canard Confit that is so good it will make you fall into silent reverence for the fact that you are a carbon based being who needs food to exist, offer up a lemon cheesecake that’s like crack and have a wait staff of the cutest sexiest god damn men you’d ever want to meet who smile and occassionally give a wink.   THAT’S where you should go.

One last thing about the trip – watching a Bond film in Paris – SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very good.

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9 Responses to The ‘Welcome Back to Canada Glacia, How Was Paris – Oh Yeah, Vera’s Dead’ Update

  1. haili says:

    Loved the line about Galen Weston LOL!

    Am I the only one who thinks it was quite natural and fitting to play the Elvis version of Amazing Grace? Jack had made a list of her favorite things for the funeral and I think they went to Vegas a few years ago. It seems sadder somehow to me, when the deceased’s favorite music is played rather than the traditional hymns.

    I loved the remarks about Ivy, Ida, Mike and Elsie. Good times.

  2. Glacia says:

    Oh it wasn’t the song that weirded me out, I think it was totally appropriate for them. I just got weirded out a bit that it was being piped in as soundtrack, that just seemed a bit cheesy. Much better to say it was playing at the service.

  3. isis says:

    I don’t think that Terry is Jack’s son. I remember Vera saying something to Jack (I think when he had his heart attack) a few years ago that Terry was not his.

    I also remember that Jack was not too surprised….

  4. isis says:

    OK – Terry may be Jack’s son. Here’s what I found on wikipedia:

    “Vera also had her fair share of lovers. She was tempted by a former romance in with the smarmy Lestor Fontaine, but realised she could never leave Jack. In the year 2000, when she believed she was about to die in an operation, she confessed to Jack through a goodbye letter that Terry may not have been his real son due to a fling early in their marriage. Jack confessed to Curly Watts that he knew of the affair at the time (and put an end to it by beating up her lover unknown to Vera), but also knew that Terry was his son, as he reminded him too much of himself.”

  5. Gayle says:

    Glacia welcome back! As far as eulogies at funerals given by children. I have attended one funeral when the daughter and son (both in their 40’s) spoke about their Mom. Two other funerals when the sons (again older) spoke about their parents. It was extremely touching and sad and I don’t know how they could do it, but they did.

  6. Yanyan says:

    Great to have you back, Glacia!

  7. Long time lurker says:

    Welcome back, Glacia. I trust that Paris in the autumn is just as wonderful as Paris in the spring. Too funny – that’s exactly what my friends and I said about Galen Weston in that turtleneck. He looks so thin in it. Doesn’t his mother still own/run Holts? You’d think with access to all those stylists (and money) they could have dressed him in something that made him look like he had shoulders and some upper body definition!

  8. eila says:

    Thank you, Glacia, for a most excellent write-up!

  9. Joy says:

    It was amazing how much Terry looked like Jack, wasn’t it!

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