Nov. 24: The Have Your Cake And Eat It Too Update

scarab-blue-m

something old, something blue...

At Liam’s house Ryan is having a fashion meltdown, because his wedding shirt is not an exact match to Liam’s. He sees that Carla has stopped in and says to her, “Tell him! We have to match!” He continues to complain until Liam relents and sends him upstairs to change so they can go and swap the shirt before the shops close. While this exchange is being shouted up-and-down the stairwell, Carla broaches the subject at hand: It is Liam’s last chance to be honest before walking down the aisle.

Emily meets Audrey and Maria leaving the salon. Maria is distressed that she doesn’t have the requisite “old, new, borrowed and blue” inventory for the wedding. Emily thoughtfully offers Maria a blue scarab beetle pin sent to her from her nephew Spider in Egypt. That will cover old and blue.

Maria and her future in-laws, along with Audrey, visit the reception venue to ensure all is in order. It’s a lovely, large room, complete with white linen, a gorgeous cake and fresh flowers. Maria is distressed that the room is as cold as it is; Audrey rushes off and returns with the reassurance that the room is being kept cold to preserve the flowers. She gives Maria a supportive hug.

At the pub, Vernon is gassed from having blown up his millionth balloon: his hot air has finally reached it’s limits. Steve is cheezed that the balloons are tied up the wrong way…Vernon reminds him that the kiddies like to play with them on the floor. Michelle is still a no-show.

Michelle’s visit with Alex has run long, and she wants to get herself and the cake to the party on time. Having been presented with a picture of Dean, Alex wants to know, “Do you think he’d want me to live with you and ‘im?” Michelle is taken aback. Alex feels he has no real home, between being chastised at Nick’s and tiptoeing around Wendy’s stepchildren. The son and heir of nothing in particular.

 

Ah, Morrissey…no one does angst and oblivion like you…

Michelle is getting more anxious to leave and Alex has gone from slightly rude to sulky and belligerent. He wants to be taken home with Michelle to “Ellie’s” birthday party. When Michelle implores that she has to go, he shoots back: “You mean, get lost Alex!”.

Carla has returned home and is drinking a glass of red wine when Liam turns up. He isn’t stopping, he tells her, and has just come by to warn Carla not to upset Maria’s big day. He launches into a very unconvincing speech, asserting that he has no feelings for Carla, and The Kiss meant nothing to him. And no, he didn’t feel anything at the hotel either. 

“Why,” Carla asks, “would I put myself on the line?” His answer: -wait for it – “You’re a scheming, jealous bitch!”. “Then why,” Carla counters, “were you calling out for me at the hospital?” She proceeds to fill Liam in on the details. Liam snorts, “I may as well have been calling out for Mother Teresa and the bloke from the kebab shop!

 

Liam's True Love?

Liam's True Love?

Carla claims that only she can fully understand Liam’s complicated nature….whoa. you mean, like how Keanu Reeves is complicated? Or sorta like…Beavis complicated? She accuses Maria of being shallow and therefore incapable of understanding an inscrutable specimen like Liam. Whoa.

Back at Ken & Deirdre’s, Amy has thrown a “tanty”, gotten angry, sick and been sent to bed because the promised pink cake failed to show. Blanche, Ken, Deirdre, Emily and a little mystery girl are winding the party down. Emily scampers off to take the blue scarab over to Maria and Liam’s. Ryan turns up and guesses in short order why his mother has been delayed, just as Ken begins an impromptu lecture on the mythology of the scarab beetle. Steve is in a tanty himself when Michelle gets home, but you know it’s only a matter of time before he deflates like a meringue left out in the rain. Whatever.

Dinner is being served to the senior Connors at Audrey’s. Helen probes a little about why Maria’s parents can’t attend. Barry asserts his wife is planning to monopolize the kids at Christmases and if Helen had her way, “our three would have married dolphins.” Pause. Rewind. Dolphins? Pause. Rewind. Oh, okay: orphans. Helen gives Maria a family heirloom charm bracelet with a new cross charm for the baby. Hmmm. dolphins are pretty smart, aren’t they? After dinner, Maria jumps into a taxi to return home and fetch the scarab.

Carla has followed Liam home to press her point further. She just wants one thing: an admission of the chemistry between them. She browbeats him into the living room, where she instigates a brief, heated kiss (Kiss Two). Liam pulls away, vacantly repeating, “I love Maria”. Carla finally gives up on her prey, follows Liam out the front door and kisses him goodbye on the cheek before slinking off in her Ziggy Stardust boots….of course, Maria pulls up in her taxi just in time to witness all.

In other news….

Fiz wants Chesney to move in. again.

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About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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14 Responses to Nov. 24: The Have Your Cake And Eat It Too Update

  1. Yanyan says:

    Tanty is my new favourite word.

  2. Gayle says:

    Why wasn’t Liz at the birthday party? We didn’t even see Amy.

    I am getting so sick of Carla. What a bitch!

  3. missusmac says:

    Who was that charming young child at Blanche’s elbow? Looked like a smilng happy creature, ready to play to the camera. Definitely NOT Amy.

    I love the term tanty. I will have one whenever I do not get pink cake.

    I thought Maria’s venue looked gorgeous, although I was a little appalled the cake was being left out all night.

    Thanks so much for Jerry’s charming face surrounded by flowers. Exactly what I’ve been looking for to pin up on my wall!

    Excellent update, as always. Have to say I too wondered exactly how ‘deep’ Liam is? Some brews, a babe on his arm and a few buddies seems to be the extent of his ‘deepness’. However, maybe I have overlooked his depth while I’ve been busy looking at his face.

    Why doesn’t Fizz just move in with Kirk and Chez? Cheaper, now that she doesn’t have a roommate.

  4. haili says:

    Maybe the actress who plays Amy doesn’t stretch to tantys!

    Ditto re. Carla; but Liam should have stayed away. He can be an airhead too at times. Everyone else texts all the time and he could have told her to back off that way.

    Michelle is more annoying than ever and Alex takes after his mommy in the manipulation department.

    I seem to watch only to criticize but am somehow unable to turn away.

  5. glacia says:

    Girlfriend, you are now 100% Corrie Canuck Contributer! You referenced ‘Meat is Murder’ Morrissey!

    Extra points for posting the older, fatter and waaaaaaaay sexier Morrissey.

    The ‘dolphins’ makes me laugh! I’ve done a blog response for you on my own blog.

  6. pip says:

    haili, some of these story lines are like car wrecks aren’t they? You know it’s going to be bad, but you still have to look.

    Okay, Alex is rapidly turning into my least favorite youth on the show. He and Michelle need to run away together and make us all happy again. It’s too bad Steve doesn’t have more of a backbone, but he always lets Michelle off the hook. All she has to do is jiggle up and down, bite a fingernail, and look all worried and sad.

    I really like the Connors, Sr. Maybe Liam and Carla can run away as well and they can move into Liam’s flat and adopt Maria.

    Hmmm, who else do we need to get rid of?

  7. debbie says:

    HA! Liam’s true love!!! HAHA!

  8. whitehorsefan says:

    The Mortons.
    Or at least Darryl.
    Or at least his hair.

  9. eila says:

    You know what we need? A great big Character Clearance Sale. 70% off!! Almost Everyone Must Go!!

    There must be some really stupid show somewhere that could use the abovementioned. We could throw in the bookies, to sweeten the pot.

    eila

  10. haili says:

    I’m going to give the bookies a bit more time; maybe they’ll grow on me like some other characters.

    If we have a character sale we should get rid of Michelle, Violet, Lauren, Carla and most of the Mortons. Bring back Curly, Gary, Danny and maybe Frankie – but only if we let Jamie go!

    Alex and Ryan need some interaction and you would think they’d want to talk, but teenagers are seldom logical. If this stupid storyline is to continue we need to see the other parents. This sneaking around by Michelle and Alex is getting boring.

  11. kunzie says:

    What I don’t want to see, personalities aside, is too many more characters that have that plastic, North American, beautiful (unrealistic!) glossy thing going on day and night, like Carla and Michelle. If I was in the level of crisis either of these two is claiming to be, I would look more like Jack Nicholson than I do already.

  12. Gayle says:

    Haili: I agree with all of your comments!

    I absolutely love Liam’s parents! I wish they would move to Weatherfield.

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