Sequel to Kevin Smith’s Smash Hit – Update

chasing-amy
Yeah, I Hate This Kid

Alex, who seems to be an extremely delicate young man, has caught a cold. This means that he needs to stay at home, well, not home really, but the place where ‘Glam Mom’ puts up with his horseshit – and Ryan gets to go fetch neo-citron, Tyenol Xtra, Jack n Jill Cough Syrup and Flinstones Chewable Morphine.

Liam sees him outside of the Kabin with all the stuff and asks him if he’s got another hangover…just as Norris post the newspaper headlines for today, ‘Teen Drinking Rampage’.   When Ryan explains that Alex is staying over, Liam does a bit of eyes rolling back thing.

Back at the Rovers, Steve suggests that Alex watch Amy while he and Michelle go out for a pizza.  All he as to do is watch her watch t.v. – easy peasy.   This proves, however,  too much of a burden for Alex and while he’s ‘watching’ Amy (read: playing video games and eating chips while she’s in the same room) – he decides that her jumbo lego are blocking his view of his Super Mario Bros (or whatever it is that the kids play now).   So he plops her ass outside in the back yard….with the cigarette butts, empty beer crates, probably broken glass and let’s not forget garbage.

It doesn’t take long for Amy to wander out the back gate into the alley.   When Amber comes to drop off a recycling bin, Amy hides so she can’t see her.  (BTW – anyone else notice that someone has decorated their recycling bin with floral print?  Who did that?  I love it!  I’m gonna do that!).

Steve comes home and when he doesn’t see Amy in the backroom he wakes up Lord Prince Alex to ask where Amy is.  Alex tells him that he put her in the backyard and when Steve loses it, Alex makes some comment about why should Steve be concerned now after he left her with a relative stranger.  Steve tries to strangle Alex.  Michelle blocks his move.

Amy is brought back home by Norris who had found her wandering the streets alone.   While Vern takes care of Amy, Steve and Michelle go to confront Alex.  

Steve, for some KER-RAZY reason is mad at Alex and starts to yell at him.  Both Alex and and Michelle take exception to this.  Alex goes one step further by running into the newly (and nice job, might I add) decorated Rovers and locks the door to the back and the front door.

 m1x00020_colinjustin

Justin and Colin say, ‘When redecorating an old established neighbourhood pub, try to stick to darker Edwardian reds and brass.  You can modernize the decor with a bit of glass and mirror behind the bar, but  definitely leave the sulking teenager to more appropriate venues like an arcade or Morrissey concert.’

 Michelle and Steve are now at the front of the Rovers where Michelle says in an accusing tone that Alex has locked himself in the pub to get away from Steve….and supposedly all his big mean terrifying yelling.

Glacia takes a deep breath.  I’m not one for violence, but here’s how I’d would handle this situation.  Brick meet window….open door, grab kid, throw in cab.

Michelle, seems to think that the most important child in this world is Alex…and screw Ryan or Amy.  I hope Steve tosses her ass to the curb over this.

I Don’t Care Who He Looks Like, As Long as He’s Fabulous 

ginger

Best t-shirt of the year goes to Sean Tully for his ‘Who’s the Daddy’ tee that Marcus gave him as a congratulations.   Sean hitches a ride to the hospital from Jamie (who’s on a bit of a high after Dev someone acknowledges him as the baby daddy).    A great deal of eye rolling and uncomfortable speech ensues as Jamie is clearly bothered by Sean being excited over the birth of  HIS SON!!

To make a long story short, Sean is gushing and Jamie is annoyed.   While Sean is yakking to the midwife, Jamie stresses to Violet that they have to get out of Dodge asap or Sean will destroy their lives.   Violet argues that she can’t really do this to Sean and Jamie gets a bit more assertive about it – even to the point where Violet feels that he’s doing some emotional blackmail.

Okay, let’s just stop this crazy van for two seconds and think.  Jamie – like it or not the kid is not your son – and Violet and Sean actually have first and last word about his upbringing.   If Violet is having second thoughts you’ve got no g.d. right to pressure her.  You’ll have to just resign yourself to being Daddy J.   And Violet…wasn’t this the guy who tossed you over for his step mom?   Why the hell are you not picking up on something here…he’s not respecting your feelings – this is turning into what’s good for Jamie, not what’s good for the baby.  He even says, ‘If we stay here with Sean, the baby will be spoiled and get all the love  and attention he wants…but he’ll never be our little boy.’    Yeah, that’s not putting yourself ahead of the baby.

Anyway, the plan to leave is still on.

Oh yeah, they called him Dylan – or Dillion….whatever.

In Other News

Tony serves 5 inch sausage rolls for breakfast to Carla.  BOOYAH!         Seriously  though, over the deep fried Mars bar that he serves as breakfast ‘afters’ and before the fried egg and potato second breakfast, he tells Carla that the way he sees it, he should only deal with Liam when it comes to business.   ‘Liam for business, Carla for pleasure.’.    And I open the lines for comments…..

Audrey and Gayle discuss how happy they are that David isn’t out drowning homeless nuns – so he can be as rude and annoying with the new girlfriend as he wants.

Lauren tricks grossboy into paying for a night out again.   Then she announces that she wants him to meet her friend Gabriella  when they go out.  You know Gabriella…one of the Ibiza Trannies.  And there it is…I am now TOTALLY convince that an upcoming story line is going to be the Corrie Crying Game and we find out that Lauren (as I’ve long suspected) is a guy in drag.

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Dev Watch

Dev fills in for an absent minded Becky by making tea for all the ladies at the Cafe.

 

 

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24 Responses to Sequel to Kevin Smith’s Smash Hit – Update

  1. Yanyan says:

    Love, Love, Love the Chasing Amy reference.
    Alex needs about 5 min alone in a dark alley with Yanyan….and no, I won’t be making him a man, I’ll be yanking off his manhood.

  2. Modge says:

    That was the Webster’s garbage can – directly to the right of where Amber was depositing what I assume was shop garbage. I remember when Her Ladyship did it – illustrating that she thinks that even their garbage is of a higher class.

  3. papasmurf1964 says:

    I have a bad feeling about crazed Alex locked in the newly renovated pub with a limitless supply of alcohol and an axe to grind.

  4. elocin says:

    May I add my voice to the chorus of those who are getting more and more disgusted with Jamie and Violet. Sean helped her when she needed him, he gave her a great gift while Jamie was still getting over screwing his step-mother. Why the hell does this guy feel he has any rights to this baby? THEY AREN’T CALLING YOU THE DADDY BECAUSE YOU AREN’T THE DADDY YOU MORON! (pardon the yelling) I’m sick of these two and their selfish attitudes, I’m sick of Michelle and her stupid crying, I’m sick of that stupid Alex, and what the hell is with the bookie pair? They have the most BIZARRE scenes, like the one with the shoes that just came out of nowhere. Are these people space aliens?

    Corrie is getting on my nerves. I haven’t been glued to the screen since Tracy whacked Charlie. I’m temped to check the Brit site to see if there’s anything redeeming coming up before I go into a coma….

  5. Mrs. D says:

    Yanyan-

    “Yanking off his manhood”… Isn’t that third base….

    I can’t figure out who is crazier- Michelle for the way she is dealing with the whole baby swap or Steve for putting up with her.

  6. haili says:

    Now if Tony had chosen Leanne instead of Carla he could have combined business and pleasure!

    Jamie is a selfish swine. Violet is stupid for not seeing that but she was never too bright. When she’s stuck in the flat with a crying baby, she’ll wish she had Sean to babysit, and Jamie will be in the pub.

    I agree with glacia: brick through window, Alex in cab home, Michelle moving to wherever. Steve needs a girlfriend with a sense of humour. He has been no saint in the past but deserves better than Michelle.

    Once again I watch only to be a critic, but there have been more laughs lately so I have to give the writers credit for that and the writers of these updates – thanks again for the laughs.

  7. missusmac says:

    “…and what the hell is with the bookie pair? They have the most BIZARRE scenes, like the one with the shoes that just came out of nowhere. Are these people space aliens?”

    Elocin, I salute you. You’ve put it in a nutshell.

    This was an EXCELLENT update. I laughed all the way through it.

  8. Yanyan says:

    Mrs. D:
    Close – third base is actually “yanking ON his manhood.”

  9. papasmurf1964 says:

    What base is it if you’re yanking on your own manhood?

  10. Yanyan says:

    That’s just t-ball, papasmurf.

  11. beanie says:

    Papa, I believe that is a ‘base fiddle’. Great update again!!! I’m enjoying the updates and the comments more than the show these days.

  12. haili says:

    One word for all these families – dysfunctional.

  13. eila says:

    Glacia– absolutely brilliant update. Thank you!

    eila

  14. eila says:

    p.s. Wouldn’t that be yanking off his boyhood?

  15. eps says:

    We need Becky to straighten out young Alex

  16. pip says:

    Becky would be great. She got David in line in no time.

  17. Gayle says:

    Excellent update, I love the gingerbread family! I am so hating Jamie right now! If they move Violet is going to regret it in no time. Sean is the baby’s father and is just crazy about him, how they even consider breaking his heart? They are supposed to be friends.

  18. haili says:

    Why is there a lock on the pub side of the living quarters that can’t be opened with a key? I understand the bolts at the front but not the back.

  19. Tania says:

    Does anyone have a bit of de ja vu with Tina Graham? She totally reminds me of Karen Macdonald… the way she talks, her mannerisms…

  20. whitehorsefan says:

    What I don’t get about the bookies is why daddy bookie can’t afford his own place?

  21. elocin says:

    I feel it’s because they’re waiting for their space ship to arrive to take them back to the planet Whathefuc to teach the other Whathefucians about high heel shoes, Blanche and “punters”. I mean, why pay two rents when it’s only temporary.

  22. haili says:

    Maybe there’s no rent money left after the residents of the street spend all their money at the Rovers, cafe, Italian restaurant, etc. – when they’re not buying skimpy tops, high heels and betting at the bookies. This could explain why so many live in each house. Daddy bookie could be paying alimony and/or child support. If he got together with Gail they could be nightmare parents of the year.

  23. pip says:

    I think daddy bookie is a control freak and now that he no longer has a wife he can control he’s decided to control his son. Not that his doesn’t need controlling, mind.

  24. MarkD says:

    I’m not surprised the floral print dumpster belongs to snotface Sally Webster, whom I hate with a passion beyond belief for a tv character. Its is nice though and I don’t know why more people don’t do this. I don’t have a bin like that or I’d do it.
    I agree with the post that went something like brick meet window;Alex into cab too. And Violet, who I normally like, is starting to need a wake up call.

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