David and Tina
Thursday’s show opens with David (sporting an appropriate Mr. Rude tee) making frozen dinner for Tina. She’s leaving for home the next day, but it’s clear that David would like her to stay.
A bit later on, Tina engages in some ageist remarks about the over 40 set, saying that she’ll worry about weight gain when she’s 40. She says that her mom recokons that she went to bed at 39 all fit and whatnot and woke up at 40 looking like Beth Ditto.
Really? Because I went to bed at 39 and woke up at 40 even more fabulous. Oh wait, that’s every woman’s experience, you little shit.
Tina then discusses her ex-boyfriend Matt and David responds with a bit of jealous and a LOT of rewritten history.
- Tracey – ‘She was well fit, but she got way too possessive, so I had to sack her’
- Maria – ‘She just kept messing me about, couldn’t decide between me and this builder bloke. Unfortunately, he was also a premiere league psychopath. Too much agro.’
Tina comforts him by letting him know women aren’t all mad cows.
The next morning, Gayle complains about the mess of the house and Tina volunteers to clean up. David complains a bit, but after Gayle leaves, Tina tells David that they’re going to clean up the house and make Gayle dinner – a happy Gayle is a happy David.
They make dinner for both Gayle and Audrey but when Tina gets a text from ‘Matt’ and tells David that she’ll be meeting her ex for a coffee, David sulks. It culminates in Tina telling David to get over himself and not be jealous then storming out of the house. David runs after her and tells her that he loves her. She says, ‘You don’t but it’s lovely to hear.’.
Alex and Ryan
This storyline is a lot of wash rinse repeat.
Alex is still in the Rovers and Steve is using the stick technique (threats to call the police or worse yet, Nick and Wendy) and Michelle uses the carrot, ‘Come on out darling, how did it come to this.’.
Vern has his own technique that involves telling Alex ‘You’re the man.’ and quoting ‘Deal or No Deal’. Norris observes that the SAS would snap Vern’s arm off.
In the end it’s Michelle’s touchy feely strategy that works and when Alex comes out of the bar, she hugs him and says, ‘Well done, well done.’ (Well done? For walking out of a bar? Please, for the love of God, get me another vodka.). Later, Alex pulls some emotional blackmail on Michelle to stay another week.
When Ryan hears of this nonsense, he says that Alex in pathetic and spoiled brat. Liam tells him that he can come over to his place, which Ryan does. When he asks Liam if he can stay the week, Liam is a bit hesitant.
Michelle comes over to Liam’s to get Ryan to come back, but Liam suggest that it might not be a bad idea for him to stay. Michelle is a bit pissed at Liam for not backing up her demands for Ryan to come home..
Meanwhile, Steve and Michelle have a chinwag and she offers to move out. Steve says no because if she moves out, that might be the end of their relationship. Michelle agrees to stay.
Jamie, Violet and Sean
Sean asks Violet if she would consider putting his name down on the form as the baby’s dad. Mainly because you know, he IS the baby’s dad. Violet hems and haws and tells him she’ll think about it.
You know, I’d love to know what the legal situation behind this all is. This isn’t the first time that a woman on the show has been able to have complete and final say on who the baby’s daddy ‘officially’ is. With dna testing, I wonder if it can be contested…I hope so because if I were Sean I’d probably fight it if she refuses to put down his name.
Meanwhile, Lauren is looking for flat finds out that Vi and Jamie’s flat is available, she goes and confronts them and gets a lot of um..welll…yeah…nobut…yeahbut…nobut. Later, over a discussion of boobs, Lauren tells Sean about their move and that something suspicious is going on. Sean is worried and says, “I just can’t bare to think anything bad about my two best friends.’ OOOOOOOOOOOOUCH!
Later, Sean approaches Jamie about moving and Jamie brushes him off by saying that they haven’t started looking and he doesn’t even know where they’re moving to….all the while wearing a ‘City of London’ t-shirt. Hello advertising! Jamie apologizes to Sean about having to hear about the move through the ‘jungle telegraph’* and tells Sean that he’ll be the first to know once something is decided, then gives him a hug.
Later Marcus visits Violet who says that they’ve already looked at flats. When she says that the midwife hasn’t been to visit, Marcus checks with the midwife and finds out that Vi cancelled the appointment. He puts two and two together and when Vi’s story doesn’t match what Jamie told Sean – they figure out something is up – that Vi and Jamie will most like be moving much further afield.
Steptoe and Son
Daddy Bookie has all his crap at the son’s flat but promises to have movers come and put it in storage. But later when Dan comes home, he finds that Harry has sent off the modern furniture to storage and keeps the ratty old furniture instead.
Oh, so many pop references. First I thought ‘Fraiser’, then no, no, the place looks like a junk shop so ‘Sanford and Son’. Then it hit me, ‘Steptoe and Son’.
For the uninitiated, ‘Steptoe and Son’ was the British show that ‘Sanford and Son’ was based on. Watching the interaction between Dan and Harry, the junk, the dad ruining the son’s attempt at romance – well, I almost think the writers were doing a bit of a Steptoe and Son tribute.
Karla checks the sale figures between Tony and Liam.
Norris updates Becky on the Alex situation – Amy, Rovers, etc and gets free tea for hero. He accepts the tea, but adds, ‘The hero of the hour stuff doesn’t sit very comfortably on these rather English shoulders.’ (Best line of both nights for my money!)
The pub is out of Smokey Bacon crisps.
Sean makes a comment about how Violet sets feminism back a 100 years by taking all of grossboy’s money. I hate when women use men as bank machines.
Kelly’s knicker parties not working out the way she thought they would.
Did Anyone Understand This Conversation?
There was some discussion in the pub with Sean, Dev and Vern while Sean was comparing his nose to baby Dylans. He says that he just wants Dylan to have his love of showtunes, then this conversation happens:
Vern: ‘What about the factory?’
Sean: ‘It’s all bombs and tons.’
Dev: ‘Oh I wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall there.’
Sean: ‘Well I’m meeting him at noon.’
Okay WHAT? Did anyone get that?
* I looked this expression up and this what I found: