So seriously, after Monday’s episode with its big story line of Vi and Jamie driving off into the sunset and Sean left in tatters, I thought – okay, yeah, I got stuck with the caretaker update…that one that lets the dust settle and moves the more boring story lines along.
Oh man, I was so wrong(k). But first, the boring bits.
Sean of course is sad and isn’t sure what to do about getting Dylan back. He comes up with a variety of ideas, but Marcus, Eileen and Lauren all seem to think he should just leave it. When Sean thinks of hiring a detective, Marcus reminds him that he can’t kidnap the baby, but Sean responds that if they find them they could set up parental rights. Marcus says that’s no good because it’s obvious that Vi and Jamie don’t want to play by the rules. I’m DYING to know what Sean’s rights are here, but I’m pretty sure that he could push for a DNA test and get some sort of visitation rights. Anyway, the consensus is just to leave it and eventually Dylan will find his way back to Sean.
Later at the Cafe, Ken offers some advice saying that he taught Vi for 5 years and that he’s sure she will come around and contact Sean. Meanwhile, Marcus comes in with a present for Sean. He swiped Sean’s mobile to get the picture of him and Dylan blown up and framed – aaaaaaaaaah. In the end Sean decides that he doesn’t want to make Dylan’s world all topsy turvy so that he’ll just wait and hope that Ken is right that Vi will come around.
This can be viewed as the tip from the writers that we can expect to wait at least 2 years, but more likely 5 – 8 years before we ever see Dylan again.
Old Harry’s Game
Dan sees Kelly on the street and offers to take her out for a fancy dinner that night. After a few saucy exchanges, they agree to meet at the Rovers at 6.
When Kelly gets there, Dan hasn’t shown, but Harry is there ready to take his place. He tells Kelly that he’s funnier, she responds, ‘Wrinklier’, he retorts, ‘Wiser’ – she purrs, ‘Richer’. Then she does this movement with the sisters to show that she is indeed, ‘Boobier’. He talks her into having a drink with him at the booth where she learns that Dan is not the owner of the betting shop – Harry’s the organ grinder and Dan is the monkey boy. Kelly responds by saying that she’ll give Dan until half past and if he’s late, well, ‘Hello Harry!’.
Push This One Along
Alex’s last day is upon us and everyone (re Steve and Ryan) are looking forward to seeing the back end of him. Michelle, however, is ignoring all phone calls from Wendy. Later that day, Wendy shows up at the Rovers demanding her son but Michelle tells her to come to the backroom so they can have a talk. Wendy doesn’t think there’s anything to ‘talk’ about, that Michelle just needs to hand over Alex. And it ends with them going to the backroom to talk, which you just know is going to be about Michelle letting Alex stay with her for as long(k) as he wants and all the argy–bargy that will follow.
Leanne’s Full of Ennui
After having fielded some calls from Dan and setting him straight that the free meal is OVER – Leanne moans over a glass of wine with Paul. She’s disappointed with the way her life has turned out – because you know, owning your own restaurant at 26 – man, what a let down. Paul tries to cheer her up with an offer of ‘Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room’ – but somehow it doesn’t entice her.
You know, I really never dug her. She made her little ‘dream’ come true with the restaurant and she’s still bitching.
Wait For It
Tina comes over to the Platt’s to talk to young David and asks if they can be alone. Before they get the chance however, David is rattling on about the tattoo and gosh did she tell Maaaaaaaaaatt about the tat because if she did he’s cool with that…..yada yada yada. Tina looks completely exhausted and basically tells him that he’s doing her head in with all this yakking. She storms out and although it’s a bit up in the air, I think they agree to talk later.
David mopes around talking to his gran and then later going over to Grossboy’s shed to do that ‘You’re my friend so you have to listen to me moan on and on and on about my romantic troubles’ routine. Darryl uses the word ‘bird’ more times than any ‘On the Buses’ or ‘Carry On’ flick put together.
Meanwhile, Gayle frets that Tina breaking up with David will send him back to his old ways – that he’s much more sensitive than either Sarah or Nick. Audrey tells her to relax, but you know, this is Gayle we’re talking about so when Tina comes around to the house and David’s not there, Gayle launches into her tirade.
She tells Tina that she knows she is leading David up the garden path and that she’s sick of the little games she’s playing and her ego trip. As she goes on, Tina tells her that she’s bang out of order. This doesn’t stop Gayle and it’s when Tina bends over a bit crying that yours truly says to herself, ‘Oh no…oh no, they’re not….‘ .
Tina says, ‘I can’t breathe.’
Glacia says, ‘Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.’
Gayle says, ‘Oh please.’
Tina says, ‘I’m pregnant.’
BOOM! THERE IT IS!