Update for Tuesday, Jan. 20th. I Have Seen The Sweater of Evil…and it’s Red.

 

The evolution of evil...Jack style!

The Evolution of Evil...Jack style!

The Insane

David wakes alone on the settee as the say in England, or the couch, or (any fellow Canadians remember this?) the “chesterfield”. Not for long, however. 

Audrey and Gail return, clomping and shuffling into the house. Audrey begins yammering at David to man up and tell the truth. Her patience is clearly at an end. Gail asks her to go, but she hesitates: “What, leave you alone with this thing?” She hisses to David: “you left her for dead!” and storms out. 

Gail breaks the silence. She has thought about how David said she is confused. She knows for certain she isn’t, but wishes she could press a button and get rid of her awful memories. Gail wants the truth from David. David, meanwhile is making his best Shining-Chucky-Freddie-Exorcist-Ed Norton eye-rolling face. He also begins muttering incoherently that they should’ve taken a holiday in France. It was actually summat scary. There’s no fekkin way I’d stay in that house a second longer. 

Gail questions her son…Did David have to step over her body on the way out? Did he know if she was alive or dead? How did he feel when she was found? Relieved or annoyed? David made Tina lie, she goes on, they could end up in prison. He let Jason take the fall for it. Gail hasn’t finished but David desperately wants her to leave him alone. He finally cracks…he tells her, “I didn’t mean it.”  Gail can’t believe her ears and makes him repeat this. Did he push her? He nods, yes. Gail launches into the “why” phase of the barrage.

David begins to mumble…”Shut up, shut up shut up…” Gail contends that David blames her for everything; for every horrible thought he has. David hands her the phone. He wants her to call the cops. She refuses, as she wants to know why he left her there. David shouts that he doesn’t know why, and can she stop going on and on….he storms outside, and Gail hobbles after for another round of poke-the-psycho.

Gail wants to know why David won’t look at her. David snaps. He pushes inside, knocking her to the ground and smashing a vase in the process. Gail howls after him that she’ll tell the police she can’t remember…they’ll keep it between them and work it out as long as it takes.

David takes off outside, heads to Webster’s  garage and grabs a pole from a tire-jack. He proceeds to beat the hell out of a car, smashing it to bits.

The Mundane

Sean’s day begins on a calmer note, after noticing a spider with a body the size of a mouse in the kitchen. Jason wants to know if spiders have faces. (before you all laugh at Jason, I didn’t know whether or not birds “do it” until last year.) A towel-clad Lauren stomps downstairs, complaining that there’s no hot water. “Can I just say,” she simpers, “I don’t pay my rent for cold showers”

“Can I just say,” Eileen retorts, “that you don’t pay your rent full-stop?”  Jason is gawping and forgets to butter his toast.

Later, Sean enters Roy’s on a butty run. Lauren is in a down mood (in between spongey-moochy scams). She asserts that Eileen can’t stand her and wants her out. “I’m rubbish with money,” she says…Sean promises to put in a good word with Eileen.

He arrives at Streetcars, bacon butty in-hand, in a totally transparent attempt to butter Eileen up and asks her to ease up on Lauren. Eileen has spent the morning making a paperclip necklace. Eileen doesn’t particularly want Lauren out – she’s no more annoying than Sean or Jason.

Lauren, now in the Rovers, wants to go clubbing and sniffs around Darryl for money. Doz has no money, so Lauren suggests he steal some from Gerry, calling him “boring” when he won’t. She then asks Liz pretty-please for an advance on her wages and gets blanked. Sensing that the well has run dry, Lauren says that she would be dumping Darryl, if they had an actual relationship…it’s been a laugh but they’re over.

The Inane

Janice is in an optimistic mood as she and Leanne get ready for the day. You know what they say, every cloud…Leanne is a little snippy – not quite awake enough to mimic full-on depressed. Janice feels sorry for Paul and wants to know if Leanne has thought about what her next move is. She asks if Leanne’s insurance is paid…”above board” is the word she uses which makes Leanne a bit nervous.

Harry & Dan are finishing up a drink in the Rover’s. Dan takes off but Harry wants to stay and chat up Liz. He recommends a builder, since Bill Webster has been in and turned his nose up at assembling the smoking shelter. After a wee bit of flirting, he takes off. Vern, you married Steak Pie. Everybody’s had a piece of her.

Paul and Leanne finish up with the insurance bloke outside the torched Italian. The carry on down the street, nit-picking and squabbling. Dan overhears half the conversation and tells them to shut the hell up or they’ll end up in jail. Paul humphs off and Leanne sucks up to Dan because she is skint, too. How about Leanne and Lauren learn how to build a smoking shelter?? Hey, if Debbie Travis can do it….

Not Again…

Michelle is doing the VAT when a visitor calls. The visitor turns out to be a fairly scrubbed-looking Alex. Alex apologizes and so does Michelle. She says she and Wendy were each trying to do what’s best. Michelle says she got it wrong. I’m not so sure – Junior Dean is a snotty-mouthed little punk.

Vern comes sailing into the back looking for tea, but there is none. He makes tea and is looking for the fancy party rings. (hint Vern: they come in plastic square wrappers and are in Liz’s purse).

 

Okay, seriously...these are party rings. Brought to market in 1983, these tea cookies come in 5 doodly-icious colours. Yum!!!!

Okay, seriously...these are party rings. Brought to market in 1983, these tea cookies come in 5 doodly-icious colours. Yum!!!!

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About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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9 Responses to Update for Tuesday, Jan. 20th. I Have Seen The Sweater of Evil…and it’s Red.

  1. Gayle says:

    It is so clear from that episode that David has severe mental health problems and his idiot of a mother does NOTHING to help him.

  2. Yanyan says:

    My parents still have a chesterfield.

  3. pip says:

    What’s the difference between a sofa, a couch and a chesterfield? I use all these terms.

    What does Gail expect to accomplish by nagging David for an explanation of why he did what he did. Each answer she gets will result in another why: ‘but why do you hate me?’ ‘but why do you think I don’t love you?’ ‘but why do you think I preferred Sarah over you?’ etc. etc.

  4. TrudyC says:

    Pip – are any of them covered in plastic?

  5. Lisa Millar says:

    Would David just kill her already- maybe a sweet murder suicide is in order.
    PS It’s been a long time gang!

  6. eila says:

    Our family had a chesterfield in the front room.

    I thought Gail was finally completely insane– staying in with and taunting Davien, as she did– but it seems to have worked: he now wants to go to gaol!

    eila

  7. Mark Daye says:

    My grampa always called it a chesterfield. There was also a cigarette called Chesterfields.

  8. missusmac says:

    Everyone threw their coats on the chesterfield when they came to my grandmother’s house to play cards. They all smoked too, but not Chesterfields.

    I haven’t used that word in a looooong time. Same with serviettes. We always said ‘pass the serviettes’ but now our kids say ‘pass the paper napkins.’

  9. fondue123 says:

    I grew up saying “chesterfield”, now we say “couch”. I’ve never ever said “sofa” without feeling a bit la-di-dah, somehow.

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