The Alexis Carrington Update

alexis

Okay, and I say this after a meal of tofu and wearing my Green Party t-shirt….I’ve had enough of Roy. Seriously. He had my backing and I was just thinking how great it was that he won the ‘bat’tle.

HOWEVER, Tony comes into the café (where Roy reminds him that he is still barred from) to show Roy the receipt for his donation of ₤10,000 donation to a bat charity. As Becky is asking if Tony is made of money, Roy takes the opportunity to say that he’s not completely satisfied because Tony would have lost more money if the site had been closed down for longer.

And this Roy, this is the point where you lose my support. 10K is 10K and I’m sure it was very well received by the Bat charity and I bet more was done for the bat population with that donation than was damaged by Tony smoking them out.

Anyway….Tony asks if Roy is going to keep the car there. Roy says no, but tells Tony that he’s still barred from the café.

Then, then my children, Tony goes all Alexis Carrington on Roy and gets your Glacia all a tingle with his declaration of wealth, lovingly dripped with rich creamery Scottish accent. Tony says:

‘Being barred form a greasy spoon is not great hardship for me. I’m the director of three companies, lunch comes to me. No grim, no grease…’

Oh man…it’s all I could to keep the vodka in my glass as I wriggled my feet in excitement. Isn’t that the best line? I’ve made it my Facebook profile status.

I love Tony today.

Dave.
David wakes up with that freak show Graeme quoting some rap song.   He then asks David if some fit bird is going to visit him. When David says only his mom, Graeme starts in on  ‘Coooor, I bet she’s well fit’ weirdness.  Later in the court yard Graeme tries to scare David over some razor on the toilet seat nonsense.

Meanwhile at Chez Platt, Edwina Audrey is stumbling down the stairs with a severe hangover while Sapphie Gayle…is getting ready to go visit David. Audrey wants to come with, but Gayle assures her that she’ll be okay on her own. Then she asks Audrey if she looks okay, she doesn’t look frumpy does she?  (Glacia spits out her Stoly, ‘No, no Gayle you never look frumpy.  Evah.‘)

Turns out that streetcars didn’t have Gayle’s order for a cab so she is screwed on how to get to the prison and is left in the middle of street shaking her canes in the air and screaming like a mad woman. Thankfully, Jerry is there to offer her a lift to the prison, plus some sage advice on childrearing.

David has been trying to stay out of problems but Camp Consellor Ron (I think that’s his name) is on his back and keeps calling him ‘Dave’. When ‘Dave’ corrects him, CC Ron reminds him that he has the power to revoke privilages like computer time, etc. ‘Dave’ takes heed.

Just before the visitors arrive, the jailbirds are lead into the visiting room and ‘Dave’ notices one of the other kids put a piece of gum on the seat where Gayle would be sitting. As he goes to pick up the piece of gum, CC Ron notices and assumes that the gum belongs to ‘Dave’. ‘Dave’ tries to explain but it’s too late, CC Ron is marking down strike one against the young Master Platt.

Out in the hall, Gayle is infuriated that her handbag has to be checked by security….as she is about to enter a prison….. Gayle huffs, ‘You won’t find anything there.’ And if you listen carefully I think you can hear her say, ‘Rent-a-cop.’.

Is it just me, but when you see Gayle hobbling along with her crutches do you also have an urge to reach out to the telly and push her down?

Anyway, son and mother reunite and there’s big hugs all around.

Leanne Gets Her Way….Again
Leanne is doing research on the ‘internets’ using Dan’s laptop to see what other bars there are in the area. She asks him for some morning power food like yogurt and fruit, but turns out all he has is Wonderbread and Skittles.

Later that day she tells Roger and Janice about her plan to turn the Italian into a bar. Roger seems to think it’s a good idea and mentions some of the renos in France that he was project manager for. Leanne, realizing that Roger is of value again, slides her way over to ask if he’d come look at the site and give her some advice. Please, please, please oh preeeeeeetty please??

In Other News

Vern has a cold sore. He’s also got a bet on a horse named ‘Big Liz’  because that’s an omen. Too bad he didn’t look to the next race where there’s an even bigger omen, a 2 year old filly named ‘Harry’s trying to seduce your wife, Liz.  Liz MacDonald-Tomlin.  The one that runs the Rovers and has two twin boys.’  with 2-1 odds.

Becky once had a three legged dog named Tripod that she would push around in a pram when it got old and had lost all its fight. Roy says he knows how that feels. Becky responds with a power hug.

Becky also brought Jason a bacon buttie with brown sauce as a thank you for tipping her off about the great unwashed cheater. She’s also offered to take him out for a pint.

Blanche has taken to walking into business establishments and yelling out, ‘Shop!’.

Steve says that Betty’s been pulling pints since Gracie Fields was a lad. This was Gracie Fields for your information. (I chose ‘Danny Boy’ to replace the ‘Donald Where’s Your Trouser’ song that’s been running through my head for a week.

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10 Responses to The Alexis Carrington Update

  1. Yanyan says:

    I believe Leeanne actually asked for bran first, because she felt “a bit…..oh, never mind.”
    I would sooner steal bran from the corner shop than ask a brand new boyfriend for it. But I guess when you’ve admitted to being a hooker, a little irregularity isn’t so bad.

  2. Gayle says:

    Is it just me or is Leeanne looking a little rough these days? I wish they either give her a better story line or write her out, she seems kind of useless these days. It must be awfully crowded the three of them sharing Janice’s little tiny apartment.

    I couldn’t get over Gail’s snotty attitude towards the prison guard needing to check her purse. Where does she get off – her kid is in prison, get over yourself!

  3. pip says:

    I think Leanne and YoungerBookie are supposed to be the street’s new ‘cute couple’. Meh.

    I looove Tony’s accent and voice. I could listen to him all day.

    Gail has a broken ankle, doesn’t she? Why isn’t she in a walking cast by now? Her cane/crutch combo is the weirdest thing I’ve seen. Ooh, maybe she’ll go all ‘Day of the Jackal’ on us and smuggle a high-powered custom-made rifle into the slammer and break Dave free.

  4. kunzie says:

    CRACKER update, G!!!! Hilarious.

    Yes, I’ve also had it with Roy; Tony has done more than enough to amend for moving some bats, IMO. It’s also “illegal” to assault someone, but Roy has not made Becky make a donation for assaulting Chewbacca. (sorry Deb.)

    Quick refresher for Leanne: dear, you burned down your resto because…profits / customer volumes weren’t guaranteed, you worked nights, you worked long hours…now you want to open a feckin’ bar??? Damn, you dumb.

    Derek The Drayman, Harry the Bookie..the Butcher, the Baker the Candlestick Maker…it’s a nursery rhyme called The Clap. Run, Vern.

    Someone should tell Ashley not to cut his own hair.

  5. lovethestreet says:

    Great update. Unfortunately, I think I missed a couple of jokes while I was watching the episode.
    What did Harry say to Blanche after she announced that she had just had her hair done?

    The writers seem to be back on their game, don’t they?

  6. glacia says:

    Oh he said that he thought she had just gotten off her moped.

    What I did miss was Vern’s response to Harry saying ‘But Liz’s not big.’.

    Also missed was Becky’s bit about her mom going away and some guy named Fat Harry or something.

  7. debbie says:

    HA! Chewbacka. HA!

    That dude stopped being attractive to me when it was clear that he was two timing.

    I too love Tony’s voice. Its like a massage.

    Also, I do want to push Gail over. I really really do.

  8. haili says:

    Me too! She is giving Michelle a run for her money as the most annoying character on the show. It’s nice to hear the threats to take David’s privileges away – something Gail should have done ages ago. Audrey and the neighbours tried to cheer her up at her birthday party but she can’t crack a smile. I suppose Gerry is leaving Darryl to run the kabob shop while he drives Gail around. Maybe he’s looking for a new mommy for his brood.

    That builder looks familiar – like someone I’ve seen on a talk show here – and he’s really unattractive and no great loss to Becky.

    Leanne talking about constipation is not attractive either and she does look a bit rough these days. Why she thinks a bar would be any better than a restaurant is beyond me though she wouldn’t need Paul except as an investor.

  9. Barbie says:

    Yes, the bar thing. Seems to me that it would have been a lot easier to convert it BEFORE it was burned to the ground, but that’s Leanne for you. (maybe she looks rough because she’s constipated?)
    Funny, I thought I was the only one who wanted to push Gail over.
    Wish I lived closer so I could see Michael with you guys – I seriously doubt he’ll ever come to my wee BC town 😦

  10. corrierules says:

    I just loved the banter between Steve and Liz. “pull your tripe out” — a wonderful phrase. I agree the writers are back on their game.

    I find Corrie-isms creep into my speech. I have been know to say “get your skates on” when I want to hurry someone along. And two phrases I love …”she’s not backwards in coming forward..” and “I’m not as green as I am cabbage-looking.”

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