Ode To Marcus


With a street full of blokes, lots of choice to be had

There’s a few that are dodgy, but others aren’t bad;

Something for every taste, every age and persuasion,

Every colour and size – mostly pastey Caucasian.

There’s our Liam of course, whom I’d have in two tics,

Or our leprechaun Ashley, if stood on two bricks.

Maybe Steve, Mr. Niceguy – Or Jerry the teddy…

But the former’s too nice and the latter too sweaty.

Natty Harry is bitter, and Dan slightly kinky,

Tyrone a tad fuzzy, and Tony too slinky.

Jason’s pretty to look at but needs lots of feeding,

and the Caf’s daily specials still pass for deep reading.

No, the sweetie for me, educated and mellow

Likes a club or a crossword, a versatile fellow.

He’s sincere and has jokes, and he wears little vests

And a wee purple teeshirt – the one I like best.

Just one tiny obstacle stands in the way

Namely I’m not a bloke and our Marcus is gay.

I’m not very erotic, and no, I’m not blonde

But I do neurotic much better than Sean.

He’s so low-key and lovely, he never goes mental;

Supportive and thoughtful – not too sentimental.

So my sonogram hunk, if you ever switch channels

You’ll find me at home with my popcorn and flannels.


About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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8 Responses to Ode To Marcus

  1. Barbie says:

    Good one Kunzie

  2. haili says:

    Cute. I like Marcus too.

  3. markdaye says:

    LOL, that’s fabulous!!!! I love it!

  4. Jody says:

    Marcus is a little hottie and very sweet.

  5. pip says:

    Oh, Kunzie, how do you do that! Just wonderful.

  6. eila says:

    Dear Kunzie,

    Brilliant- thanks! I printed that off for an ‘analog’ Corrie fan.

    Yep, too bad he plays for the other team.

  7. lovethestreet says:


    Thanks, Kunzie.

  8. Yanyan says:

    Kunzie, I stand in awe of your poeticity. Brill! And I have to agree with the sentiment, if he was on our team, I’d so hit that.

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