Dear Emily Post
How inappropriate would it be, one day after the funeral of my stillborn child, and in light of ongoing marital difficulties, to sleep with my late brother’s widow?
Dear Neither Use
We open with Liam’s non-response to Maria’s question of whether they have a future.
“I’ll take that as a no then,” Maria says as she goes to call Fizz.
Outside, as Fizz helps Maria pack, Liam pleads with her not to leave. Carla comes out to see what’s going on and words are exchanged but she gets the picture that it’s over between Liam and Maria. Later, Liam and Carla glare at each other from across the street with what the missus calls, “seething lust.”
At Fizz’s Maria cries on her friend’s shoulder, calling herself a fool for letting Carla get to her.
Later, as it’s pouring rain, Liam gets in a cab and goes to Carla’s, where she is downing red wine and listening to the Verve (and why she doesn’t have black teeth, I’ll never know).
Liam comes in to tell her how she’s ruined everything with her clothes, and lipstick, and black hair. Carla counters that Liam’s problems have nought to do with her lippy and more to do with the fact that he fancies her.
Liam asks if she’s glad their baby died. Carla is taken aback by the accusation and denies it but says, maybe, it was for the best, all things considered. Liam is offended by the notion but Carla says she is only saying what he is afraid to say.
Liam says he’d be happy if he never saw her again and storms out.
Just then, Maria makes the decision to call him to try to work things out. Outside, he sees her calling his mobile as he stares at it, then the buzzer, then the mobile. He makes a decision.
He goes back to Carla’s where they patch things up. And then she admits she fancied him all those years ago when she first started dating Paul. She asks him to come to bed.
“What do you think I’m here for?” he replies.
Dear Emily Post
I am 50 years old and have just met my father for the first time in my life. He’s gay. Should I spend our first day together fixated on that fact?
At the Platts’ Tina is grilling Ted about his late partner of 20 year, James, and if he was, like, seriously gay.
Ted asks Gail if she was surprised and she says she assumed he was “normal.” Ted is taken aback with the use of the term. Gail backtracks, saying that she voted for Tony Blair (it was under Blair that same-sex unions became law).
Meanwhile, Audrey’s done her hair up right nice and plans to go over to Gail’s, just to see how they’re getting on, but Rita catches on and says she acting like a teenager.
She gets to Gail’s and asks Ted if he’d like to decamp to the Rovers later.
“Oh, he’s not decamping anywhere,” Tina says.
Audrey looks confused until Gail says, “Oh give it up, mam. He’s gay.”
Ted says that’s an elegant way of putting it.
Later, they all have lunch where Tina notices that everyone is talking posh for Ted’s benefit (although it’s noted that Gail brings out the posh voice on occasion). Tina then jokingly asks Ted if it was Audrey who made him realise he was gay. Ted says he doesn’t know when he realised. Audrey then lets it drop that she thought David was gay once. Hah!
In Other News
Becky wants to go with Jason but he says he’d rather stay in for a quiet night at home. This leads to an argument with Becky storming out and back to Roy’s, interupting his coke n’ hookers binge jigsaw puzzle. He says he’s considering lifting the ban on Jason but Becky loudly declares it should stay.
Leanne is now working at the Rovers. Hopefully she won’t have anyone burn it down for her.
Kirkeh doesn’t seem to get that Julie would prefer to go on dates with him without Chesney tagging along.
And this damn song was playing in the Rovers so now it’s in my head.