UK Time Friday May 23rd 2008 – Episode I
I don’t even know where to start with this whack-job episode. Was it a strange episode for anyone else? I guess the only place to start is at the beginning.
Liz is in a fantastic mood. She certainly woke up on the right side of the bed. She pops downstairs in time to catch Steve and Michelle’s riveting conversation about Sting and toast and Newcastle. During this scene I just kept thinking that Steve should dump Michelle.
Later Liz and Deirdre are standing in their gigantic pack of Rothman’s. Today Deirdre decides to kind of encourage Liz’s behaviour. Looks to me that Deirdre is living vicariously through her tarty bezzie mate. Deirdre points out that Bookie dad is exactly the kind of man Liz likes (save the excessive drinking and explosively violent temperament).
In the pub Liz tells Harry that she’s been getting a hard time about having dinner with him. I bet he could say the same, Liz. They make arrangements to have a civilized afternoon lunch, which is code for turning on the red light, which is code for doing it which is code for sexual intercourse.
In the smoothest move ever, Harry tells his son that he’s gotta go … now because he has lost his wallet, yes that’s it, and has to go home RIGHT NOW. Liz then tells Michelle that she has to go to the shops, that’s right, to er… get something or other. Dan wasn’t born yesterday. Dude has been around the block and is, after all, dating a former sex worker. He knows what time it is.
Naturally he uses this knowledge to wind Steve up during the most mature darts game I have ever seen played at the Rovers of Weatherfield.
Steve steps out of the pub and into Deridre. Ever the polite middle-aged man Steve asks Deirdre if she is feeling better. She comes clean in an instant.
Meanwhile at Harry’s Pleasure Palace we learn that Harry made no lunch. He had ulterior motives which is a polite way to say that he wanted to get Liz round to romance her, which is a polite way to say that they really only intended on getting it on which is a polite way of saying they are gonna have sexual intercourse.
Just as they were about to get the party started the doorbell rings. Oh, the delayed gratification! Steve comes up the stairs to give his mother a lecture about adultery. Since Steve has never done the dirty he can totally lecture his mom on the finer points of marital bliss. We tells Liz, “Whatever Vernon’s faults might be, no bloke deserves this.” No bloke except Lloyd, that is.
House swapping was never so complex. Claire and Sally locked horns once more. What is up with these ladies? They now have lists of fixtures and fittings and that will give them something to nit pick for a while.
Claire uses this as an opportunity to go through Sally’s house and criticize every bit of it in her ever so Claire way. I would have punched her in the face, which is code for I would have punched her in the face.
There is something fowl in the Barlow residence aside from Ken’s temper, Blanche’s disposition and Deirdre’s smoking. The old lady slipped into the bathroom just before Ken and during her shower the pips began to leak in several places. This was beyond even my skill with the plumber’s goop (which, ladies, is also useful for mending earrings and other costume jewelry).
Thankfully Rodger came by to sort out the problem. They have a corroded pipe as well as a corrosive old lady in the house. He can fix it for a white fiver, but with labour it should come to about £ 689.53.
In Other News
That siding on the old Rec is staying up. Poor Molly. It’s a bit of our little swamp duck sticking with you. She’s tenacious.