Ken pops into the Kabin to find Norris researching security measures. Norris assures him he isn’t shaken up, and that it takes more than Three Hooded Morons to frighten Norris Cole.
At the Morton household, breakfast and chat take place in the kitchen minus Findlay, who has already taken to sleeping in. Doz comments he was at least 12 before he started sleeping in. Mel sends Kayley upstairs to wake Findlay.
Chesney visits Audrey’s and chats with the new temp stylist, Natasha. He wants the ladies to make him look like Daniel Craig. Audrey says there’s no way she’s colouring his beautiful hair. Natasha recalls swooning over a hot-looking red-headed guy in her school class, Richard Swindle, the Ginger Prince. Whom she proudly copped off with twice. Ches is very encouraged by this anecdote. When they’re finished his cut, Audrey promises, the girls will be clambouring all over him like monkeys on a tire.
At the Kabin, Rita is grousing to Blanche that the CCTV would be a waste of money. Blanche comments that guard dogs are no better; they will easily succumb to steak laced with sleeping pills. Just then, Nigel from “Oh No You Don’t! Security Solutions” arrives to install a system that Norris has, apparently, purchased.
Mel Morton is taking her sibs to the science museum and the gigantic ferris wheel and has come by the kebab shop for some money. Lloyd, stopping in for take-away, admits that he is Findlay’s real dad scared of heights and claustrophobic.
Deirdre and Ken are reading the papers when Roger comes downstairs and announces he’s all done. Deirdre praises his work, and Roger presents the invoice. Roger asks his new history-geek buddy Ken for a drink in the Rovers later. He leaves. Deirdre opens the invoice and is so shocked by the fee that her voice nearly rises to a female pitch. But Ken feels a little twingey about challenging the invoice. Deirdre insists. They march over to Rogers for an explanation.
Audrey pops into Jerry’s for some impulse chips. Jerry suggests that it wasn’t the fragrance of the chips that drew her, but a pheremonal reaction from his aftershave. Yeah, Darryl scoffs, Obesity by Calvin Klein. Audrey says that’s not nice, and says she herself once fell for a heavier bloke.
Nigel the Security Boy is drilling away at the Kabin, installing cameras. Norris talks up his system, citing all it’s specs, such as s/n ratio. He’s not sure what this is, but he feels safer.
The thugs wander into the neighbourhood, looking for a target. The evil little shrimps stand outside the Rovers, all smoking.
Jerry and Darryl are discussing the robbery and Jerry tells his son how he would kick some mini-thug ass if they ever tried robbing the kebab shop.
Norris is watching Rita on his TV array, noting which greeting cards she is displaying. Sophie Webster stops in and takes exception to being lumped in with menacing teenagers as a whole. Norris is quite rude to her…until she says her mom sent her over to see if he was okay.
Outside unloading his truck, Roger explains to Ken and Deirdre that he had to replace extra pipe and work his bank holiday, hence the extra 300 pounds. Deirdre says he spent too much time faffing around with Ken and drinking tea. Roger points out that when pipes need replacing, there’s no help for it. Ken urges Deirdre to come home, saying their potatoes will be ready. And he confirms with Roger that they’ll still have their drink together.
Roy is closing up when the thug trio barges into the Caf. They pretend to buy a banana and some chocolate so Roy will open the till. When he does, one grabs Roy to restrain him while the others try to grab the cash, but Roy foils the attempt because he is……Batman!! Frustrated, the yoots run into the street where they tangle with Darryl and Jerry, alerted by the fracas (prounounced fraaaacaaaa if you ask Roy). Darryl sprints after them and Jerry follows, but stops short, clutching his arm and his chest. Visibly in pain, he slumps by the corner of a building. Roy catches up, and questions him, but Jerry doesn’t want a doctor; just a stiff drink. Norris and Rita come over; Jerry wants to be helped into the Rovers. Oddly, no one thinks to call an ambulance despite Jerry’s objections.
(Commercial)….and yes I want a Dyson vacuum. Because I think things should work properly, too. The first thing I would suck up would be Sophie taking on the world one diaper at a time.
Tina is visiting David in jail. She thinks it’s dead sexy visiting David like this. I think David needs to get out and take control of his turf again. They note that they’d like each other to meet their respective dads. Tina says her dad thinks he’s funny when he’s not. David demonstrates his fake-laugh he uses with not-funny lads in the slammer.
At Kirk’s, Fiz and Kirk are having a chat in the backyard. Fiz fills Kirk in on Chesney’s crush as Kirk throws away rotten faux-crab sticks. Kirk didn’t notice the crush because he’s had his head in Julie’s cleavage for one month and nine days.
Roy guides Jerry into the Rovers for a pint. Darryl has taken a pop to the eye. Darryl thinks Roy is boss for defending his till. He jokes about Jerry’s fitness and his weight. Roy thinks Jerry should see a doctor, that he really doesn’t look well. Darryl makes a crack about Jerry keeling over, and what it’ll say on his tombstone. Apparently, it will say Jerome…not Jeremy? Hmmmm.
In Other News
Steve has middle age spread due to contentment.