TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS
Carla arrives at work in her car, chewing Tony out on the phone for not being there and ready to work. Liam observes from his living room window and remarks that Carla is 6 minutes late. Maria says he’s pining for the factory. Finding her shoe horn, Liam muses on the successful invention, deciding it should be called the “heel spoon”. Maria thinks this is ridiculous. Then again, Maria has never been celebrated for original thoughts. Liam goes on to grouse that there’s no football on for 2 days. He might watch the ‘Rome’ boxed set. What else is there to do? (Liam a clue: helping out at home, dude. Y’know, like, cooking? dusting?) He wrestles with the dog for a while.
Carla is busy sorting the new regime. She wants to know if Rosie has made an important call to a Mr. Murphy – but Rosie has been sidelined making Tony’s travel arrangements for Gordon’s. Carla is very unimpressed.
Liam has meandered over to the Caf and is meditating on the perfection of the teabag. Ted finds this highly engaging. Ken adds that if he was on a desert island, his luxury item woud be an endless supply of teabags.
Tony Gordon arrives at the factory and gives Tyrone and Kevin grief about a monkey wrench that has escaped onto factory property. Tyrone kicks it back home. Kevin makes a few neighbourly jokes but Tony is deadpan. Tony sashays into work. Carla is royally pissed off and wants to ring the Gordon’s secretary to book her own trip. She makes it clear that Rosie is Underworld staff only, and not a convenience for Tony. Tony finds her irritation amusing.
OUR HOUSE. IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET.
The new Webster household is in full-blown chaos. Rosie is yapping about sharing with Sophie and that the bathroom is occupied. Ashley is soaking his hand which he burned on the Webster girls’ hair straightener. They figure out that no one is actually in the bathroom. Kevin can’t find his boots.
At the factory, Sally bitches to Vicky about the Peacock children’s sleeping habits. Rosie chimes in that Joshua has dreams that crocodiles are coming up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Ashley is at work, attempting to cut porkchops with his burned hand. Claire comes bubbling in, excited about something that has been found in the wall. It’s a rolled-up painting, and from the looks of it, an original Alex Lowery. Could they have struck gold?
PRIVATE EYES. THEY’RE WATCHING YOU.
Steve has rung to ask Michelle what she had for breakfast. He has sent her a big creepy pile of lilies. This gesture has had the effect of sending Michelle into the stratosphere of spousal investigation. She thinks Steve is more creepy that his creepy lilies. She laughs and thanks him for his crawly, guilt-induced lilies. Which were addressed to Hunny Bunny.
Michelle resolves to have another go at Lloyd. She pops into the cab office to ask if Eileen has seen Lloyd. “Wot – ever?” Eileen responds. She is more interested in her tabloid.
Later Eileen, fiddling with the omni-present rubik’s cube listens to Lloyd – he has a rattle in the back of his car. Eileen tips him off that Michelle was looking for him. Lloyd spends the afternoon playing dodge-Michelle in her Flock of Seagulls outfit. He pops into the Rovers, knowing full well Michelle has gone the other way. He exchanges a bit of banter with Llz. Lloyd sees Michelle’s flowers, the source of her newfound suspicion that something is awry. He lies to Liz that everything is a-ok.
Lloyd observed Michelle leaving the Caf and goes in to have a word with Becky. Michelle had asked Becky if she’d seen Lloyd. “Wot – ever?” Becky had replied. The butterfly net is going to come down-whack!-on all their heads, warns Lloyd. And it’ll be bad when she discovers the scale of the crime and the coverup. Becky says she likes Michelle and she’d never tell.
At the bar – Carla confirms to Michelle that Steve’s behaviour is highly obvious. “It could happen,” she says, “even to Steve”. “Anyone seen Lloyd?” Michele asks the factory girls who are at the bar. She says that she’s the Gestapo. Vicky is offended by the reference. They mention that Lloyd was at Websters’ Garage about his rattle. When Michelle gets to the garage, she learns Lloyd is at the park feeding the ducks. Wot-ever. Lloyd, of course, is hiding around yet another corner.
Eileen dispatches him to the medical centre for a pickup. Lloyd can’t find the fare. He gets back on the phone, proclaiming rather loudly that he’s going to drive around for a while so Michelle can’t find him. Michelle is in the back of the cab and hears. She pops up like a ninja. “Why?” she demand. Tell Hunny-Bunny everything…..
Maria and Audrey are at work at the salon. Maria wonders how David is doing. Audrey is jaded and doesn’t seem to care. Maria wonders if David will one day be the world’s leading colourists. Okay Maria, I take the heel spoon thing back…you do have an imagination. The phone rings and Audrey is caught off-guard by David’s new boss…wanting to verify details of the glowing reference, which Ted actually wrote. David, apparently, was late his first day. Audrey tries to support him – saying it’s out of character. She wants the reference faxed back. Audrey finds Ted at a table in the Rovers. “A work of fiction!” Audrey waves the reference. She assumes David has forged it. Ted finds it hilarious that David was late. Audrey accuses him of endorsing fraud. He says he was the perpetrator of the fraud. Audrey is aghast.