Lloyd stops in at the cafe to let Becky know that Michelle is suspicious that Steve was doing the horizontal limbo with someone other than Michelle. Becky seems nonplussed at the news.
Ashley finds Rita in the cafe to ask her if she knew an Irma Ogden from back in the day. Rita wonders if this might be the daughter of Hilda Ogden, and Ken comes over to tell them that was, since Irma was his sister-in-law and all. Ashley wonders if she had any artistic leanings, and Ken tells him that she did paint in the Lowery style, after Ashley tells them about the painting they found in the loft. When Ashley and Claire tell Sal about the painting she tells them ‘finders keepers’ and that bringing the painting to the Antiques Roadshow might be a good idea.
Ted invites himself to stay at Audrey’s for the night, and when she wonders why Ted tells her that David is hosting a bit of a party. Audrey thinks this might be a bad idea, what with the carpets getting ruined, the curtains burned and the watercolours defaced. Ted says he trusts David, or at least he trusts Tina, and besides, what could possibly happen? Audrey replies ‘With David? Mass genocide.’ *
Later we see Ted and Tina dancing away in an empty living room to lively beat of Wham. David comes in and wonders what is going on. ‘Cutting shapes in the floor’ says Ted, and then tells his grandson they moved the furniture to get more of a dance club feel. David seems strangely concerned about where people are going to sit. Ted reminisces about the fabulous soirees that he used to have with his partner Jimmy.
Mel and Jerry discuss Teresa, and Mel promises to be nicer to her mother if Jerry agrees to go exercising. Teresa shows up at this point with a watermelon for Jerry. ‘What do you do with a watermelon?’ asks Jerry. Teresa tells Mel to keep the noise down at the party so Jerry doesn’t have another heart attack.
As the party slowly gets started Mel and Darryl sit on the stairs debating parenting roles. Mel sums it up by saying that mothers are meant to nurture, and blokes are meant to leave. Darryl is surprised his sister is such a sexist cow. All the while Tina’s phone keeps ringing as more and more of her friends make plans to attend. David confronts a guy with his arm around Tina but she assures David that her friend would be trying to pick up David if he was on the pull. He walks away telling David ‘I don’t mean to be racist, but I don’t go for orange blokes.’
As the party gets into full swing Teresa finishes the last of her bottle, as Jerry sleeps soundly beside her. Teresa has heard enough, or more likely has enough to drink storms next door and pushes her way through the people outside. She goes inside just as Amber (with lovely new bangs) pukes on the wall. ‘You dirty bitch’ mutters Teresa before she tries to find out whose party it is. Tina and David have it out with Teresa before she smashes the sound system so Jerry can have some peace next door. Rosie, dressed in a scandalous fashion, tells Teresa that she should bring her husband over so he can dance off some of his fat. Teresa wonders if Rosie is there as the floor show. Rosie, a bit miffed and a bit drunk, tells Teresa to get back to Jelly Roll Morton.** This seems to enrage Teresa, so she grabs Rosie by the hair and drags her out of the party while calling her a cheeky little bitch.
Down the road in a scene of domestic tranquility the Websters and the Peacocks are sat round the living room. Claire shares that her bra has been digging into her all day. They hear the ruckus outside and go outside to see Rosie being dragged by Teresa. Some arguing takes place between the two harpies of the cobbles. Teresa tells Sal that Rosie is a very rude young woman and she dresses like a slut. Sal counters by saying at least her daughter has some fashion sense. More yelling ensues before a confused Jerry finally makes his way outside to see what all the commotion is. Teresa tells Sal to watch herself lest she get her hard man husband after her. Sal asks ‘What is he going to do – sit on me?’***
* Nomination #1 for best line of the epiosde
** Jelly Roll Morton was a ragtime and jazz pianist in the 1920’s. His band was known as the Red Hot Peppers, which sounds a bit familiar…
*** Nomination #2 for best lines of the epiosde
Liz, Amy and Vern are leaving a birthday message on Steve’s phone. Michelle walks through the back room but doesn’t contribute to the message. Vern makes a joke that Steve must have been playing away, but Michelle fails to find the humour in it.
Michelle and Carla are standing at the bar trying to figure out who Steve was with that night. Michelle gets an idea who might and makes her way to the cab office to confront Eileen. Michelle rips into an innocent and unaware Eileen, accusing her for covering up Steve again, since she did it before when he tried to cop off with Shania in Malta. Eileen replies with ‘If this is how you carry on, no wonder he copped off.’**** She then tells Michelle to take her anger and jealousy elsewhere, who in turn tells Eileen that she is a disgrace to women. Ouch. ‘Look in the mirror’ retorts Eileen. Michelle realizes that she may have gone too far, and that Eileen might be as in the dark as she is, and ends up apologizing, which Eileen graciously accepts.
When Michelle returns to the pub Vern and Liz are going on about how great Leanne is, and how Steve has always stood up for her no matter what, and that she got a pay raise too. This gets Michelle’s spidey sense tingling, and her and Carla debate if perhaps it was Leanne that Steve spent the night with. After all, sex means nothing to her, and who knows, maybe she even charged him for it.
Michelle vows that no two bit slapper is going to make fool out of her.
**** Nomination #3 for best line of the episode