WORKING CLASS HERO
Morning. The girls are on the cobbles. They can’t work as the factory’s not yet open so begin harassing Kevin so he can’t work, either. Tony & Carla show up late. Janis grouses, “When yer ready,” at them. She calls Tony a pillock under her breath. Sally defends Tony because he’s bought the Websters a drink the previous evening, simply because Sally is fabulous. Obviously.
Later on, Tony runs into Sally in the factory kitchenette. Sally is all smirky-smirky because she is fabulous. Tony intimates that he and Kevin are in negotiations. He casually slips to Sal the details of the deal. Sally pretends she’s in the loop…she immediately sees dollar signs. Now that the Pandora’s box of upward mobility has been opened, Tony is sure Sally will hound Kevin to concede.
Kevin and Tyrone banter about footy while fixing cars. Sally comes by to talk to Kevin and Tyrone goes for cakes. Sally asks Kevin why he didn’t bring the deal up – she feels it should’ve been discussed. Sally’s nickel drops and she realizes that it’s Kevin Tony was buttering up and she is no more fabulous than yesterday. She thinks the deal is worth considering though, and chides Kevin for immediately knocking back something that would improve their social status. And she’s pissed because she had to hear it from Tony.
Tony is in the factory office on the phone, arranging for a valuator to come to the garage. Carla and Tony carefully avoid having this convo in front of Rosie. But Rosie overhears Carla warn Tony that the last person who messed with Kevin Webster ended up in hospital. (Pleeze…oh pleez push him too far, Tony….)
Outside, Kevin takes off in his big yellow Thomas the Tonka Truck. Immediately, Tony and a pinstriped valuator descend on Tyrone, implying that Kevin gave them permission to measure up the garage, Tyrone reluctantly lets them in, believing Kev gave his okay. Thy barge into Websters and begin measuring.
Kevin returns and is enraged to find Eyeball eyeballing his property “What the hell are you playing at?” he snaps. Tony calmly and condescendingly explains that he wants to get some proper figures down on paper. Kevin quickly deduces that Tony has played both Tyrone and Sally and calls him on it.
Growing angrier, Kevin accuses Tony of sneaking around behind his back. He says he’ll throw Tony right off his property. Tony smarms that he’d get in trouble with the cops. The fracas has attracted an audience as the girls stumble back from a liquid lunch to sew their fingers to their g-strings. Tony is confident that the right price will budge Kevin and says so. Kevin hollas that he doesn’t want Eyeball “anywhere near him, his wife or his mates and feck off, end of!”
“Too good for you, ‘im” is Janis’ appraisal, to Sally.
Tony stocks stiffly off, threatening to dock their wages if the drunk sewing clique doesn’t return to work to fall down the stairs or sommat.
“Sorry pal,” Kev says to Tyrone. “Shut him up, eh?” Tyrone grins.
JUKE BOX HERO
Maria emerges from the salon to see Liam accepting delivery of his powda-blue jukebox. He wants to know if he should file his New Order records with the Joy Division records or stick to alphabetical. Maria gives him shit for not prioritizing his job-search. Apparently he has a meeting with cousin Tom.
Later, Liam and Tom are playing Risk and drinking beer. Maria comes in with dinner, plops their sandwiches down and leaves. She is beginning to realize she has married a huge, hairy twelve-year-old. (oh, look! Carla! oh, look a shoehorn! oh, look! a jukebox!)
I WILL BE YOUR HERO, BABY
The girls and Sean are in the Rovers for dinner (lunch). Sean fantasizes about being a hunter-gatherer and providing for Marcus. Janis says that’s sexist. Kelly mentions it can’t be because they’re both blokes. Marcus joins them, and has been pondering courses – on offer is everything from erotic novelist to sumo wrestler. Sean is getting in yet another round. It seems getting pissed, giggling and faffing around have replaced the aftrnoon’s graft. Sean, you couldn’t hunter-gather your way out of a paper bag.
One of the courses available is Life Drawing. This was dismissed as there’s no money in it. Kelly decides she wants to be a life drawing model. Janis says they’d need a big ol’ piece of paper to draw Kelly.
Sean is now back at work, asking for extra shifts and organizing the bills completely loaded out of his faux-hawk.
IT ISN’T THE LOVE OF A HERO, AND THAT’S WHY I FEAR IT WON’T DO.
Eileen’s morning begins with Becky lounging listlessly on her couch. Eileen asks about Becky’s plans for the rest of the day. Apparently she’s getting her bits from Roy’s. Eileen wonders where these will be put, exactly.
Marcus wakes up and joins Becky on the couch. Jason grabs a piece of toast and heads off to work. “It’s one big happy family,” Sean says breezily. Eileen is wondering if her house will always be chock-a-block with the belongings, bodies and sagas of others.
Roy is on the phone to Becky, who’s coming to get her stuff. “It’s a shame Hailey isn’t here,” Ken says to Roy. Surly she would have averted the collision that has become Becky and Roy. Roy says he envies the primates, unburdened by conscience and moral dilemma. I envy Ty and Kev, discussing footy and fixing cars and eating cakes all day. Ken points out that Becky works hard, and she’s loyal.
Ken and Roy clean up as Becky comes in. Clearly, Becky and Roy wish things had turned out differently. Jason follows her in, preventing any further conversation between them.
Theresa is smoking in the Mortons’ back garden and expertly flicking her fag butts onto the neighbour’s roof. Jerry brings her out an ashtray. She suggests Jerry’s mood might be improved by a dinner in the Rover’s complete with a bitter. They agree to this, despite Mel’s protestations.
They go to the bar where Jerry sits and savours his half-pint of bitter. He has another half-pint at Theresa’s urging. Not sure what this devious skank is up to…murder Jerry with beer or get him drunk and rob him blind?