Update for Monday, May 4 and Tuesday, May 5, 2009. If You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Ring On It

Bear with us. We’re catching up.

And then on Monday, all this other stuff happened:

Carla suggests to Michelle that Steve does indeed love her, despite, you know, being an idiot.

Steve had a row with Lloyd over his telling Michelle. They argue over whose fault it is but when Lloyd pins Steve down and threatens him with a right gobbing, Lloyd wins.

Steve finds Carla in the street who suggests Michelle might be receptive to a meeting, even if there are a million blokes in Manchester who would die to have her as a girlfriend.

“There’s only 800,000 blokes in Manchester,” Steve says, correcting her.

“Greater Manchester then.”

Steve finally gets Michelle to agree to a meeting on Fitzpatrick Street but not before he has to put Amy to bed. They’re reading Charlotte’s Web. He’s dreading the ending.

“Wot? When the spider dies?” asks Lloyd.

AUGH! SPOILER ALERT!

Steve meets Michelle on Fitzpatrick Street by a dumpster. Michelle demands to know what happened that night – the truth this time.

Ty and Molly got their table at the La La Lounge where Tyrone spends the evening constantly getting up and asking the waiters if they planned his sparkler. They assure him that they have but he’s still jumpy.

Then, it appears the time has come for Ty to pop the question when a waiter carrying a sparkler, followed by a mariachi band singing “Uptown Girl” arrive at … not Ty and Molly’s table but a table across from them when a young man asks his girlfriend to be his wife. She overjoyed, Molly is touched, and Ty is rushing to head off the waiter who is arriving with his own sparkler for a proposal that will be far less grand than what had just transpired.

So…no proposal.

Vern and Dev go golfing. Vern is kind of awful at it but it doesn’t help that Dev won’t shut up as our drummer boy tries to sink a put with a 9 iron (ok, even I know that’s dumb). They are met by an older gentleman who shows Vern a few pointers so that he might break 324.

His name is Mandal. Prem Mandal.

And now, on to Tuesday!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Steve and Michelle are in Switzerland, aka Fitzpatrick Street where Michelle is demanding to know what exactly he was lying about. She gives him until the count of 3 when Steve finally fesses up and … lies again. He claims he got blootered in a club and met a girl with whom he went home but there was no sexy time. He passed out and got out of there as quick as he could.

He pulls out the ring and says, despite all the lying, he still wants to marry her. Michelle takes the ring (which I assume was the £7500 one from the jeweler) and tosses it in the conveniently located dumpster. “You’re dumped!” she says. A taxi pulls up and Michelle gets in, claiming to the driver that she is being stalked by Steve and needs to get away. Steve waits for her to leave before jumping back into the dumpster to look for the ring. He takes a old mop to the head from a woman passing by before he finds it.

Back at the Rovers, Carla finds Michelle, who says Steve is a big fat lying liar. Liam pops his head quickly enough to receive instructions from Michelle to go punch him in the face.

Later Steve, bleeding from his dumpster diving, shows up where he is confronted by Liam. Liam wants to punch Steve, who tells him to go ahead, so long as he has a chance with Michelle. Liam can’t bring himself to do it. Steve begs Liam to talk to Michelle and tell her that he does love her and Ryan and wants to be a family. He even shows the ring.

Eventually, Steve finds Michelle in the back of the Rovers. She is disappointed that Liam couldn’t bring himself to pound Steve for her. Steve begs Michelle to take him back but she picks up a large suitcase.

“Oh, Michelle, please don’t leave!” he cries out.

“I’m not leaving,” she says throwing the suitcase at him. “You are!”

Yes, it’s his bar but that’s a minor detail.

Don’t Be Mad When You See That He Want It

Jack and Auntie Pam are discussing how they’ll act surprised that Ty and Molly have gotten engaged. Pam goes through an elaborate pantomime (“WHAT? NO! FANTASTIC! WHAT? NO! WOW! WHAT?”) and also discusses putting up a banner the length of the street with one letter for each house but the plan falls apart when she realises there are more letters in “CONGRATULATIONS” than there are houses on the street.

Anyway, there are no congratulations to be had as Ty got cold feet when that other engaged couple at the La La Lounge stole his thunder. Molly talks about how romantic it all was. Ty spends the rest of the evening fuming. So now there’s no engagement and they spent money on a meal that could have been spent on a heated towel rack. And Molly didn’t even get her pudding.

In Other News

Dev and Vernon chat with their new friend Prem Mandal, who is a big local business man, as it turns out. He also played Dev’s dad a few years back so that’s probably why he think Dev reminds him of himself. It turns out Prem wants to take Dev under his wing and make a big fish out of him after all.

At the Mortons, Mel found out from Abi that Theresa’s tales of domestic abuse were actually true. Theresa comes home with fat free yoghurt (with processed fruit and healthy chemicals for Jerry’s heart) and fat free crisps. Jerry gets a little angry with Mel for doubting Theresa and says she can stay as long as she likes.

Tony finds Sean in the Rovers and offers his job back, thanks to Rosie calling in the little favour Tony owes her for selling out her father. Sean also thinks Rosie’s totally doing Tony but he’s not one to gossip.

When Kevin gets wind of this, he figures Tony is playing Rosie off against her dad which, well, he is.