This Has Turned Out Horrib-leh!!
It is raining cats and dogs as the road-trippers drive back from Calais, but the real black cloud is Au-dreh, who has been in a sour mood all weekend. I’m not the greatest Janice fan in the world, but at least she knows how to have a laugh. She is yukking it up as she relives having told the supermarket bloke (or bloque, we are in France) that Audrey was Camilla Parker Bowles coming in for fags. Bwah!! Before they have gone too far, the van gets a flat tire. They are rescued by French-CAA, and the happy wanderers pass their time at a rest station. Audrey and Bill duck inside for a bite, and Audrey’s sulk deepens as Bill fails to sympathize that her delicate sensibilities have been upended by Janice’s coarseness on the road trip.
Bill tells Audrey that she needs to turn her frown upside-down, and goes outdoors for a beer with Roger and Jan, who are guarding the booze cache. They toast Audrey through the window. Once they are ready to be on their way, Audrey says that Bill’s one beer has rendered him a dangerous driver (not to be too, too snide…I support her point, to a point) and she decides that the remaining miles must be driven by her. Not overly intimate with standard, she grinds Bill’s gears a bit while her passengers hoot.
The chatter in the car continues, and Janice mentions a film she’s purchased which featured Edith Piaf…whose unusual warble Janice, Bill and Roger eagerly imitate. Audrey is annoyed as the impromptu Piffy concert has caused Bill to miss indicating their turn. The civility unravels quickly, with Janice accusing Audrey of being a snob, Audrey accusing Janice of being mother to a tart, and various other insults. As Audrey becomes engrossed in the bickering, she faces ’round, and sure enough, loses control and the van goes bounding into the bushes.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Despite a summer downpour, the morning finds Dev in a cheery mood. This makes Amber immediately suspicious and flinchy, until her nickel drops and she figures out there’s a lady in the picture. Sure enough, Lisa drives up, for a lunch date with Dev. Smiling cordially, Dev escorts Lisa on foot to the Rovers for a hot pot. This is clearly not what Lisa has in mind but she’s too polite to say so.
At the pub, they make more vapid, pointless small talk, which Dev steers around to Nina. Lisa declines the local hot pot as she’s a vegetarian. Dev offers to accommodate with a cheese sandwich, but this offer, combined with the entrance and inclusion of Norris and Emily, send Lisa a clear message that He’s Just Not That Into Her. She cuts the lunch date short and says adieu. Having accomplished this blow-off with flair, Dev settles happily into his own hot-pot.
As Dev lolls outside the Rovers, having, apparently, nothing better to do, Nina purrs up in her Jag, with a lovely satsuma-orange scarf on her head. She offers to ease Dev’s apparent pain over the loss of Lisa. With a little encouragement, he joins her and off they drive. Whether or not this little romance is a good idea…I am delighted to see an older, voluptuous woman being an object of passion. Kudos, guys.
Clarissa swans into the Rovers, trades more tired nip-n-tuck jibes with Liz and orders champagne on ice for her and Harry for later. I’m assuming the only reason for this character’s Lauren-like simpering and face-sucking is to incur our sympathy for Liz. Who banged the drayman. On Vern. For fun. We Calabrese have long memories.
I tried it…it’s fake…don’t bother.
David is in obvious turmoil over Tina’s secret online activities. He inadvertently wakes Doz by banging a ball against the shed and they have a wee chat about it. David spends the rest of the day attempting to log into Tina’s e-mail whenever she’s out of the room. Finally, in the late afternoon, he cracks her password, just as Doz comes over. It appears that Tina has, indeed, been exchanging many e-mails with her ex, Matt. Darryl tells David not to worry; if Tina was seeing someone else, she’d just be straight-up about it. If that were true, it would make Tina just about the most refreshing person around these days.