Il Bastardo Part 1
Kevin accuses Tony about being behind the truck theft. Tony denies it, but Kev keeps on about it and demands that Tony return the truck. Tony kind of threatens Kevin by telling him to think of his family but Kev tells him ‘This ain’t over!’
The police tell Kev that he can’t just throw around accusations willy-nilly and there’s no proof that Tony is responsible. The copper tells Kev that there has been a series of similar thefts around Manchester but Kev thinks Tony is behind those ones to throw everyone off the scent. The cop tells Kev to settle down, and he agrees.
Worse news when Kevin calls the insurance agent who tell him that his policy is invalidated seeing as he left the keys in the truck. Kevin tells Tyrone that this might pretty much be the end of their business…recovery is 20% of their business and that to get even a second hand truck will cost 10K. He tells Tyrone that he’s going to have to cut his hours.
Il Bastardo Part Deux
Tony comes back to hassle the old man about moving out and offers him £2,500 to which the old man responds with a heart attack. After accusing him of faking the heart attack, Tony soon realizes this is the real thing. He carefully looks outside to make sure no one has seen the old man fall down and when the coast is clear, he closes the door and waits, and waits, and waits, makes a cup of tea, watches Susan Boyle sing La Boheme on the telly, goes home, has a shower, stops in at Dev’s for a chat, comes back and THEN calls for an ambulance. (All the time old man’s kitty, like Grey Friar’s Bobby waits beside his master, patting his face with one fuzzy little paw.).
The ambulance asks Tony if he’s a relative and Tony says that he’s the landlord who was helping him pack up to move into sheltered living. Tony tells the ambulance worker that the old man had no one in his life, but don’t worry, he’ll take care of the house. When Tony asks if he’s going to be okay, the paramedic tells him not to get his hopes up. Then TONY who’s a complete BASTARD shoves the kitty out on the street and tells him he’s on his own.
Jason shows up and Tony tells him to clear out the old man’s flat and there’s a bonus in it for him.
In a Pickle…Still
Pam can’t find the ring in any of the cans, but there’s three left which were sold to Blanche, Ted and Norris. She buys the cans from both Blanche (at a pretty penny) and Ted, but the ring isn’t in either. When they track down Norris he is dying to know the secret ingredient but Pam says that it’s a family secret handed down from generation to generation, like that Davinci Code. (An interesting side note, Heinz is secretly run by the Vatican.) Anyway, turns out he donated it to a church fete for their raffle. The can is part of a hamper and Emily won’t let them take it because people bought tickets with the understanding that basket would be as displayed. She tells Pam and Molly that the only thing they can do is buy tickets and if they don’t win, they’ll need to talk to the winner about the relish.
In Other News
Sean is turned on by Kev’s macho manliness.
John brings Fizz a dvd box set of The Simpsons. (Sean thinks Kev should come to the rescue.) Fizz gives it back to him saying her DVD is broken – but WAIT! John can come fix it, he’s an audio/visual nerd! She agrees to let him come over and take a look at it. He is able to fix it and Fizz seems well pleased.
The Conner cousin wants them to sell retro Hawaiian shirts.
Becky and Roy have a talk and he tells her that Hailey gave him some advice and told him that Becky’s life is hers to live as her own. He tells Becky that he is going to back off but he will still give her friendly advice from time to time. She responds that she wouldn’t have it any other way, Royster.