Maria meets Ryan on the street as she’s out for a morning walk. He says his grandad is driving him nuts trying to have man-chats with him. He’s trying to be Liam but he isn’t. Maria comes back inside and shares with her parents that she feels badly for Ryan. Mother wants Maria to turn her attention to her own day and not worry about others.
Tony slams out of the bedroom tying his tie, which seems akin to twiddling an evil moustache these days. He accuses Carla of embarrassing him by blindsiding him in front of the vicar. He says he asked the vicar over so that Carla would have some support. Carla says no, it was a pressure tactic. She clarifies that she said the wedding was off, not the marriage. She wants to postpone the wedding. She thought the difference was obvious. Tony begins to complain about the cost of cancelling. Carla says if it’s a problem, then she’ll pay, so just shaddap.
Tony pressures Carla to go to the funeral because it doesn’t “look right” if she’s absent. He says he doesn’t understand her degree of grief, given it’s not her husband, father, or someone she was intimate with. Can I beat the haggis out of this bulgy-eyed moron? Carla explains her sensitivity, saying it all reminds her of Paul.
Maria and the Sutherlands make small talk as they wait for the funeral cars. There is a knock at the door; it’s Audrey. The hearse and cars pull up. Maria dissolves into tears yet again, saying none of it is fair. She pulls herself together and heads outside with her dad. Inside the hearse, the casket is draped with flowers, including posy letters that spell out ‘Liam’ The Street residents slowly emerge from their homes, making a sad tableau as Maria stares through the back window of the hearse. The mourners get into various cars and the procession to the church begins.
A lovely irish vicar greets the hearse at the chapel. He is very patient and kind, and says it’s okay for Ozzie to participate; after all, Christ had an ox and an ass in the manger, surely they can handle one labrador.
Michelle has yet to break down and make this all about her.
Tony & Carla turn up; Carla is transfixed by the hearse and numbly follows Tony inside.
Liam Connor is carried into the church, as a choir sings ‘Abide With Me’. Tony is a pallbearer. Ozzie tries to get down the aisle, whining for Liam. Kirk tells him to shush. The service is candle-lit. Maria weeps silently. Ozzie looks super-cute and heart-tuggy. Carla can take no more of this and runs outside. In the churchyard she sobs uncontrollably.
A very tense morning ensues at the Allahan flat as Amber slams cupboard doors purposely to annoy Dev. Amber says she’s over the legal age of sexual consent. Dev is none too pleased and tells his deflowered daughter that Darryl Morton isn’t even on the bottom end of the food chain. What he means is, “he’s dog-rough, even for you.” She in turn calls Tara a floozie.
Dev is in the shop later, and apologizing to Tara over the phone. He regrets his outburst and says it will never happen again. Mid-call, Nina walks in. Dev, deciding he is done being dicked around by Nina, blows Tara kisses into the phone. Dev tells Nina he’s way into Tara. Nina says that Dev’s not good enough for Tara; he’s not marriage material. “Who said anything about marriage?” Dev retorts. End it or I shall, Nina threatens. The debate turns into a rather loud street argument. Nina drives off, supposedly to tell Prem and Tara. Dev panics.
Prem is surprised to receive Dev as a visitor; Dev says that he needs to talk to Prem. Prem invites Dev for lunch, but it’s not a lunch sorta visit.
We rejoin this scene after Dev has apparently revealed his affair to Prem. He says that Nina drew him in, much as he tried to resist. Dev breaks down in tears as Prem slaps him. Prem asks if he got fed up with the wife and thought he’d test-drive the daughter. Dev begs Prem not to tell Tara.
We see that Nina is standing quietly in the doorway. Before she can protest, Prem orders her to go wait in the drawing room. He has another belt of scotch. He says Dev is a huge disappointment. He agrees that the affair should be kept from Tara , but orders Dev to end his relationship with Tara. He wants no more to do with Dev and neither does the South Asian Business Group.
And that is that.
Like Steve McQueen!
Becky meets Steve leaving for the funeral and tells him she’s got her bail hearing that day.
At the police station, she waits nervously for the ballbreaker detective who has been doggedly trying to return her to a life of chipped beef and unshaven legs. He squares off with her, but she is wise to the system, knows he has no evidence and knows he is holding a refuse-charge form indicating she is free to leave. She does a little jig in the police station and with a whoooo-hoo! exits stage left.
In other Newski
Vicki shares with her co-workers that there’s been a development about Rosie.