Pam, Norris and Rita are in the Kabin discussing Molly’s wedding. Norris, the contest-a-holic is trying to win soup for a year by answering a quiz. He needs the best answer to “Love is Like……..” Pam and Rita launch into “Love is Like a Butterfly” by Dolly Parton. They continue to tease and wind up Norris for a few more minutes with another round of the song.
Norris puzzles and puzzles until his puzzler is sore. “Love is like breathing,” he suggests. Rita fails to see the romance. She suggests, “Love is like a violin” (fiddle sounds dirty). Emily comes in and decides “Love is like a distant memory”. In light of Norris’ latest obsession Emily speculates, “I’m afraid that I may have to start eating my meals in my bedroom again.”
Maria is madly rummaging through Liam’s stuff trying to find out why the last listings on Liam’s cellphone are Carla Carla Carla Carla Carla. She finds a receipt for Indian Food which seems a bit fishy, until she remembers that they ate it while watching the Simpsons movie. D-oh!
Later, she sits in the living room in perplexed tears, wondering about the Carla Carla Carla. She confides in Tom; Tom explains that they were just calling back and forth because Carla wanted to know what they were doing to Tony at his stag do. He said that some of the calls were from him, as Liam got sick of it….there ya go guys, closing the testosterone wall, even unto death. Later Tom tells Ozzy that the two of them will now look after Maria. Fiz rings, and Tom says Maria has gone for a lie-down.
Later, Kirk comes by to see Maria; he feels bad about going off on holiday (see below). She reassures him that she’ll be fine. They exchange a sibling hug. The phone rings and it’s Lad Rags calling. They are looking for Liam. Maria says that he’s died, and hands the phone to Kirk. Then they are looking for Carla Carla Carla Carla. Maria adamantly tells them that Carla has nothing to do with the busines. “Why is that woman everywhere I turn?” Maria wants to know.
They then realize that Kirk has left the door open, and that Ozzy has escaped! D-oh!
….A Starving Cat
The Websters are still stressed, worried and sleepless , waiting for Rosie to return. Or at least to be not-dead.
Rosie comes to in her attic prison after falling off her makeshift tower. She realizes she’s taken a tumble and has some water. Any whiff of engineering genius which might facilitate escape remains dormant in the jubbly teen. In frustration she hurls her glass at the door.
Commercial: Now there is a little plastic characterization of ‘sodium’ bawling it’s eyes out in the rain outside a house where a family eats a nutritious, low-sodium meal while Michael Bolton plays. Why do they keep trying to take drugs away from people in art college?
Fiz and John return from holiday (I love her hair long soooo much better than the Princess Leia buns or the Marge SImpson.) Kirk comes bombing down the stairs to say that Les and Cilla have reunited in South Africa, and want to see Ches, Kirk and Fiz. They’ve sent plane tickets. Kirk is hyped.
Kirk then second-guesses whether he should go on the trip while Maria needs him. John, looking squirmy-wormy, finally pops up to go “feed the cat”. As he leaves, Fiz suggests that John go one the trip, too. He doesn’t seem that excited.
Eileen pops in to see if John would take a fare, driving an older couple home from the airport and out for their anniversary. John is distressed at not being able to get back to the “cat”, but accepts.
The “cat” meanwhile is beating at the main part of the door in a tiring and ineffective manner, unless said door is made of veneer. When suddenly an ‘aha’ moment occurs…why not beat in the head of her captor instead?
Fiz shows up in the cab office – Schmeikel has been playing with John’s keys and phone, so he has neither and Fiz now has both. Eileen confirms that Lloyd (rather than feeding the cat) has in fact been away…Fiz now fears that the cat is starving. You’d wonder that John would leave the house without the keys, seeing as “the cat” is uppermost in his mind.
John tries to get out of the fare, and get away from the lovely old couple in the back of his cab. He tries to arrange another driver. He radios Eileen, who tells John that……Fiz is going to feed the cat!!! John lies to the customers and offers a short cut, carrooming off toward Granny’s.
Fiz shows up at Granny’s on her scooter. John, meanwhile has gone Dukes of Hazzard and is terrorizing the lovely old folks in the cab. They look really sad as John speeds madly through roundabouts, only their seatbelts holding them down against the flattening g-forces. Fiz ambles in as Rosie waits in her prison, newfound club in-hand.
Dan is in the Rovers, shooting Steve dirty looks for snogging Becky. Which is pretty rich, considering he was sniffing around Kelly Big-Bird while still with Leanne. Michelle has a recording studio gig, and takes off. Becky offers to cover for her. “You can have a quick romp on the crisp boxes downstairs,” snarks Dan. Steve figures he ‘knows’.
“Why do I always finish up to my neck in stuff like this?” Steve wants to know. Why? Because….