UK Time: Friday December 19th 2008 – Episode I
The show opens in Peter’s flat where Simon is getting ready to head to school. It turns out that peter has missed the flyer in Simon’s school bag informing him of the Christmas pageant where our Simon plays the inn keeper that refuses Mary and Joseph. Peter can’t miss Simon’s primary school debut. I don’t know where they found this kid, but he is cute.
Down at the bookies Leanne makes it clear that she is not impressed with Peter’s display last night. After some apologizing, Peter invites Leanne to Simon’s play, but she can’t make the play as she has to go shopping with Janice. They can pick up their conversation over a nice lunch at the Rover’s.
In Peter’s world, lunch means a bottle of chardonnay and I have to agree, however, I don’t finish it off with a double whiskey chaser, I guess that is what makes Peter and I different. Anyway, Leanne points out that neither she nor her obvious not-written-in-pregnancy need to booze it up at noon. After some back and forth things don’t look good until he uses his son as bait to make Leanne like him again.
Later, Peter manages to make the pageant. It seems the actress playing Mary, who had a little too much orange soda, held up the show. Peter got there the Connor way, fueled by a tank of gas and a quart of gin. While babbling to the teacher (who I’d like to dedicate this song to) it becomes clear hat Peter has been drinking and the teacher wont let him in. During the altercation Steve walked by and as it turns out Amy was cast as Mary. I find this astounding. One of those mid-sized Madonna shrines found on lawns in Toronto’s little Portugal would have been more engaging. I really think the producers are now just having a laugh.
Anyway, it all ends badly as Peter busts into the play causing a scene. Yes, Simon, that is your drunken father.
Maria is shocked that the police didn’t lock up Tony as the evidence against him, all the conjecture, opinion and raving is damning. If only she still had that stag night episode on her PVR! Anyway, she confronted Tony I the street in the morning where she had the opportunity to call Carla a “whore.” This must have confused Carla who must have heard “Horse” repeatedly growing up. Maria’s really got to annunciate. Fiz came to break it up, thankfully as Maria is starting to look crazy. She’s making it easy for Tony.
Inside the factory Rosie is complaining about her zit and Wiki calls her vain. You know what, Vicky, it sucks to have a zit and maybe if you actually ran a comb through your hair and put some face cream on in the morning, you’d care about how you looked too. Anyway, Rosie is walking on eggshells around Tony and Carla. Carla just wants to sack her, but Tony reminds her that they can’t.
A bit later Carla sneaks up on Rosie and snaps a picture of her working her pimple. She does it to teach her a lesson but then later confronts Rosie who does a terrible job of trying to plead her way out of it. Carla tells Rosie that she is going to make her life a living hell since because of her Carla’s marriage is in tatters. We all know that if Rosie hadn’t of taken that picture, Carla would not have slept with Liam, she wouldn’t have tried to ruin Liam’s marriage, she wouldn’t have contemplated leaving Tony for Liam. It is ALL ROSIE’S FAULT!
After her meeting with Rosie, Carla trotted across the road where she, her not-written-in baby pregnancy and Maria’s fake-for-the-show pregnancy could have a sit down and talk about the time Carla tried to ruin her marriage. She thought Maria would like to hear it from the horse’s whore’s mouth. Needless to say the tête à tête didn’t go so well and Carla left while Maria screamed MURDERER in the street within earshot of Jed.
Over at Emily’s house for wayward seniors Mary tries to slip a Christmas card for Norris through the mail slot. Well the door opens and Jed ushers her in so she can help him untangle a string of fairy lights.
Norris walks in at an inopportune moment and there is an exceedingly awkward exchange about May/December romances and mutual attraction. Mary thinks age is irrelevant in terms of attraction and Norris agrees – in principle. It seems that it is in practice that he has trouble.
In Other News
Jack is scheming to get Molly and Tyrone back together.
Liz has invited her friend behind the bar AND to be assistant manager. Michelle is miffed.