Update for Tuesday, October 14th: Massive Tanty With Vol-Au-Vents

U.K. Time Dec. 26

‘Ave Yerself A Merry Little….

Steve walks Becky into the Winter Wonderland of fairy lights and decorations he’s created in the cab office. She is touched that anyone would do such a thing for her and says she doesn’t need any presents.

At the Rover’s, Michelle is getting restless and wants Steve to come home for dinner. She says she’s going to the cab office to fetch him. After Michelle leaves, Liz picks up the phone to Lloyd, who was Steve’s alibi; Pinocchio caught again. In the cab office, Becky and Steve exchange gifts. She has given Steve some suede slippers. He gives her an emergency “night in kit” with a blanky, ciggies, cider, crisps and face mask. She jumps into his lap and they cuddle under the blanky

Well the Weatherfield outside is frightful...

Well the Weatherfield outside is frightful...

A knock at the cab office proves to be Michelle. Steve unlocks and lets her in. She wants to know why the cab office was locked, and what’s with the decorations. She wants to whisk him away promptly to dinner. Now. And he can call Lloyd as they walk. Which of the seven dwarfs is she again? Bossy? Pushy? Smothery?

Better Not Shout, Better Not Cry…

Mary turns up at Emily and Norris’s, a little embarrassed to be early. She has brought a bottle for Emily. Grinchy Gordon finally sneaks down the stairs with all of Jed’s Who-pudding and Who-presents…actually just his Who-belongings.

And a flat Mr. Stone,

And a flat Mr. Stone, somewhere far to the south, and some money to spend, and some tape for your mouth....

Jed Stone, meanwhile, is being stored, by Tony, in the back of a truck with his mouth taped shut. Tony turns up with Jed’s belongings, untapes his mouth, and tells him that the deal is – three thousand pounds and a move to a bachelor flat he owns in Wiggan. Jed is upset at this distance, and wants to say goodbye to Emily. Tony says not at this time, looking and sounding as he does. Deal struck, he re-tapes Jed’s mouth and prepares to set off.

Fiz and Maria are at Fiz’s. Fiz cooks, Maria mopes. She says she’s going to the cemetery later to see Liam and Paul. She notices that Fiz has gotten a greeting card from John, which Fiz downplays.

At the cemetery, Maria has brought a little stuffed Ozzy dog to leave there. A bunch of flowers greets them. The card says they are from Carla and Tony. Maria rips into the flowers like a demented weed-whacker, furious that Tony has ruined the last place she thought she could find peace. Fiz tries again to calm her down, and she tells off Fiz, again.

That night, Maria catches up with Tony in front of the Rovers and girly-slugs him. Not a solid Becky-punch. She asks, how dare he leave flowers at the churchyard. He says it must have been Carla. She says she won’t rest until he pays for what he has done. He warns her to stop pushing him, but Maria says she’s not afraid of him…he laughs evilly. “If you really think I’m a killer, maybe you should be. There’s more than enough space beside hubby and baby in that boneyard. Merry Christmas by the way.”

Deck The Halls and Deck The Neighbours

He.........

He.........

made these!!

made these!!

At the Platt’s, a lovely lunch for four is underway and Tina and David share a Christmas cracker. Joe asks Gail how the wine is; she says it compliments the turkey…which is more than anyone else has done, but she’s joking. Joe stands to make a toast…the gist of it is that he is happy, so very happy, to be spending the days with three people he loves…and God bless us, everyone..and this is awesome….when the Windasses burst in the back door, singing and bearing four-dozen vol-au-vents. Eddie, apparently can bake a bit.

The Platts are shocked to see them – this early, at any rate. Joe tells them rather rudely to come back later…so does Tina, but manners prevail with Gail and she invites them to stay for lunch. Anna Windass gives her a massive, throttling hug which causes her head to bobble around like a blinky-eyed rubber chicken. Eddie says he’ll take his, and the remote, in the livingroom.

The Websters have arrived at the Platt’s; Joe lets them in and takes their coats. In the kitchen, he gripes to Gail about the Windasses being there. She tells him to suck it up like she is. Joe and Kevin have a brief conversation; Kevin urges Joe to tell Gail that he is living in an orange tube-slide. Gary Windass has turned up. Rosie sidles up to him, but Gary sends her to get him a beer. David is none-too-pleased that Gary is there.

Sally, meanwhile is busy shoving Eddie Windass’s vol-au-vents in her face. Anna WIndass asks for some hush; she toasts Gail and Joe for their hospitality. She presents them with some gifts; Joe’s, ironically, is a tool belt. Joe sees this as a colossal wind-up and gets progressively more bitter and twitchy.

Despite Rosie’s presence, Gary begins sniffing around Tina. He leaves her side to go out for a butt; David confronts him in the kitchen to defend his bird. He tells Gary that Tina isn’t interested. Gary says not only is she interested, she’s aching for it.  David slaps him upside the head and a fight breaks out in the kitchen.

Rosie, on the chesterfield, is gunning for Tina, who won’t brook and nonsense, and so a second brawl breaks out on the couch. Sally might assist but won’t put the vol-a-vent tray down.

Kevin thrusts the girls apart, meanwhile Joe hustles Gary out of the kitchen. Ma Windass vainly tries to tell him it’s just the ale and everyone calm down, but Joe’s long fuse has just reached his big bomb. He tells Anna to shut her great, flapping, never-stopping lips, as Gail looks on, horrified. He says he just wanted one day of peace and sanity with his family. He says everyone hates the Windasses and tells them to get out. Eddie demands his vol-au-vents back. Joe, raging, whips the tray at him, and pelts them with scotch eggs as they make a noisy retreat.

The Websters leave, too. “Thanks for the buffet,” Sophie, well-behaved and utterly ignored, says upon leaving.

Out of steam finally, Joe is in the backyard, where Gail joins him, trying to make some sense out of his tantrum. She says she did not recognize him. She thinks there’s more to it, but Joe won’t say. He does say he’s sorry, leaving Gail perplexed.

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About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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11 Responses to Update for Tuesday, October 14th: Massive Tanty With Vol-Au-Vents

  1. haili says:

    Joe was wonderful! It was a heartwarming scene when he told them to get out and backed it up by pelting them with food. I loved it and am starting to like Joe.

  2. I think Joe is a cutie and Gail should be so lucky to have found such a great catch.

  3. corrierules says:

    Frankly I thought it was nervy of Carla to send flowers to the grave…even with a card signed by her AND Tony. She slept with the widow’s husband! And the widow knows it…. as does everyone else. Carla needs to keep her mourning very very private.

  4. haili says:

    Carla’s never considered Maria or Tony’s feelings. She must have known that Maria would visit the grave, even it Tony wouldn’t.

    If anyone is getting on my nerves lately, it’s Auntie Pam. She needs to butt out and give Ty and Molly some space.

  5. beanie says:

    I’d like to thank the writers and actors for the craziest Corrie Christmas ever. Well done! It’s amazing how much can be packed into 20 or so minutes.

  6. Long time lurker says:

    I think Gail really needs to give up having Christmas dinner at her place. When was the last time it didn’t end in tears and general mayhem? If her kids weren’t already totally screwed up I would say a few years of those Platt Family Christmas festivities would surely do it. I would be quaking in my boots by about December 1st, just contemplating what this Christmas may bring.

  7. Barbie says:

    Those vol-au-vents look delicious, I want one. 🙂

  8. missusmac says:

    This whole episode was brilliant! There was a little glimpse of the normal — with a quiet dinner chez Platt and even heartfelt speeches — and then the stuff we tune in for began!

    The Windasses were disgustingly over the top, Sally snorfling down the vol-au-vents made by those delicate Windass hands was hilarious, and the disdain Gary showed Rosie was topped only by Kev’s disdain for Gary.

    When Joe started screaming and pelting them with appetizers, I was thoroughly charmed. It just slightly surpassed the boy fist fight, and the girl fist fight, for best scene.

    Best throw-away event: Sloshed Kev and Sally using the 18th birthday commemorative bottle as emergency rations a few years back. Too funny!

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