Original airdate: January 21, 2009
“Layin’ Pipe” by David Wilcox. The only song in Canadian pop history to turn Toronto’s construction boom of the 1980’s into a metaphor for sex.
Bill and Jason discover their yard has been broken into.
Bill gets on the blower to the coppers to tell the coppers that his copper’s missing, as well as negotiate the efficient bureaucracy involved in reporting a crime. Eddie overhears this, realizes what’s happened and hurries back home.
By the way, remember last week when Eddie showed the old photo of himself back in his darts playing days? The photo looked familiar so I Googled the name of the guy who plays Eddie Windass and learned that the actor who plays him, Steve Huison, was also in The Full Monty. He played the ginger guy who lived with his mum. Lookit:
Anyway, Eddie finds Gary at home and tells him about the robbery. He suspects Gary because just the other day, he was asking how much a set of copper pipers would be worth. Gary denies but Eddie reminds him that they moved to Weatherfield for a fresh start and getting into these types of shenanagins are only going to lead to trouble. I mean, scamming a disability benefit is one thing, but this is just outright theft.
Meanwhile, Joe’s gone missing since Gail starting asking about his business. Women are like that, aren’t they? “Oooooh, how much do you make? Where do you work? Where is your flat? What’s your name?” Honestly!
Tina finds Joe living in that storage shed and he admits that he’s lied to Gail about working for Bill as he needs money. He asks her not to say anything but she says she’s not lying for him.
After the coppers investigate the missing copper, Jason theorizes that Joe could have taken it as he needs money but Bill doesn’t think so. Joe arrives late, saying he had to take his auntie to th’hospickle.
Gary Windass arrives at the yard and tells Jason that he heard about the robbery. He wonders if it was an inside job. Joe hears this and loses his temper, with Jason having to hold him back from hitting Gary.
In the Rovers, the three builders are having a hot pot and Bill asks Joe what his beef is with the Windasses.
“Beneath us is the underclass,” Joe answers. “And below a half-eaten kebab in the gutter, is the Windass Class.”
Joe says he knows Bill and Jason suspect it was he who stole the pipes. Bill denies this but things get heated when Jason asks about Joe’s auntie so Joe storms off.
Gail later finds Bill at the yard and asks about Joe. He tells her about the pipes and how Joe thinks he’s being accused of stealing them. He doesn’t think he did but desperate people do desperate things sometimes.
“Who says he’s desperate?” Gail asks.
Later Gail, Tina, and David are discussing the day’s events. Tina says her dad’s not the type to steal money and David thinks it’s obvious Gary stole the pipes when he saw them the night before, driving a big truck past the yard, looking best pleased.
He then goes next door to confront Gary but he claims that he was watching “The Dark Knight” which he and Eddie agreed was the least far-fetched of all the Batman movies. (Oh, I beg to differ) Eddie, reluctantly, backs up his alibi. David says he’s going to the police.
And you all know what THAT means:
Graeme the Poet
The story of John Stape’s sentencing has hit the Gazette and Fizz is mortified to learn her name was in it (BTW, Fizz is 24). She laments that she is now one of “those women” in the news who claim their criminal lovers were innocent. She’s well depressed.
Ches decides the best way to cheer her up is to set her up with another guy, this time who doesn’t fancy schoolgirls. Ches thinks someone like Kirk would do but Kirk says they broke the mold before they made him.
Anyway, he tries to set Fizz up with Graeme, who reads her a poem (“Your flamin’ hair, Your flamin’ hair!”) but it’s a bust. Despite Graeme being a bit … odd… it does cheer her up somewhat and they have a conversation on the way home about their romantic misadventures and inappropriate crushes. For Graeme, it was Aqua Marina of Stingray. Perhaps it was the Supermarionation. Perhaps it was the fact that she was made of wood but Graeme knew it would never work out. Anyway, I don’t think we’re about see any great Fizz/Graeme romance here but she did appear to cheer up so that’s something.
Oh, and Kirk sat on his fish and chips because the writers still insist that he’s mentally challenged.
In Other News
Maria’s back at the salon but Audrey wants her to take it easy so her duties have been downgraded to “Emily Bishop.” Fizz once joked that Sarah was such a bad hairdresser that she could only do two styles: shaved and Emily Bishop.
Emily mentions to Maria that Jed left on Christmas day, taking everything but his trademark cap. The wheels start turning in her head again.
The Dev/Amber Battle for the Car continues but is not resolved. Amber says Dev has an over-inflated sense of his self-importance but Dev says she worships the ground he walks on.