Back on the Case
Maria, baby-bump visibly showing, is on the phone to Fiz. She wants to know when Tony will be at the office, because she wants a word.
Emily and Norris are in the Kabin, discussing “strap lines”. Norris means slogans; Emily means when her underwear is too tight (file this under visuals I never want to see). Norris praises the town of Oldham’s slogan: “Oldham, Home of the Tubular Bandage.” Emily apparently has had a tubular bandage in her bag since 1963. This conversation is cut short by Maria, on another paranoid quest to single-handedly bring Tony to justice. She says she’s been thinking about Emily’s comments regarding Jed. Maria urges Emily to call the police; Emily reassures her that she and Norris mulled it over but decided there was no evidence of foul play, so no call was made. She also says Jed has always been a free spirit, and simply left. She cautions Maria against loudly maligning Tony to anyone within earshot.
Maria is sitting on the steps of Underworld; Kevin suggests she not sit on the cold step too long or she’ll get piles. Fiz stumbles out, rather surprised to see Maria sitting there. Maria is agitated, claiming Jed’s “death” is the “proof” she’s been waiting for. Fiz says she’s out of luck as Tony is at a trade show. Maria allows Fiz to escort her home.
Later, Emily checks in on Maria to see if she’s “alright”. Kirk is there, but takes off to go to the dentist. He thinks he’s cutting a wisdom tooth. Thank God for that. Emily begins to gently explain what she went through when she lost Ernest…leading up to suggesting again, that Maria is over-wrought and delusional. Maria says she can’t move on until she gets justice for Liam, whom she knows was murdered. Maria looks out the front window and sees Tony walking; she takes Emily up on her offer to make tea, and when Emily goes to the kitchen, runs out to Underworld, because she can not only do hair but outsmart stone cold killers.
Slightly earlier in the day, Fiz had come in to the office and awkwardly explained that Maria is still “wound up”. Tony thanks Fiz for the heads-up.
Maria enters Underworld, which is empty and quiet except for the radio. Tony is on the upper floor, and watches her enter. “Maria,” he says, “what can I do for you?” He ushers her into the office, and her eyes dart about nervously. She tells him, there’s no point lying any more. She knows he has murdered Jed Stone. Tony theatrically closes all the venetians and says, “that’s better. No prying eyes.” Maria assures him that people know she is there, and if anything happens to her…“What could possibly happen?” Tony asks impatiently and then answers her accusation: “Okay, fine. I killed him.” As Maria looks on horrified, Tony picks up a piece of lingerie and explains exactly how he strangled Jed, stuffed him in the knicker hamper and had the Christmas party. He describes how everyone was flailing and dancing while poor old Jed was barely cold. Nancy Drew has unfortunately forgotten her tape recorder.Oops.
Back of a Car?
Sophie is at the breakfast table, trying to explain some of her social trials and tribulations to Sally. Sally basically cuts her off and ignores her, banging on at Kevin for reading at the table. Rosie comes downstairs, shattered from drinking the night before. At that point, Kevin finds Rosie’s tabloid “spread” telling of her ordeal with Stape and containing photos of Rosie in racy garb, making her porn-star lips. “My biggest fear was that John Stape would make me a slave”, Kevin reads the headline with disgust, saying she’s made a mockery of the whole ordeal. Sally wants to know if Rosie got paid; she did. Rosie humpfs off back to bed.
Kevin has nipped home to put out the rubbish; out of the bag falls a pregnancy test. He calls Sally home and she wonders what the panic is. He shows Sally the test, and she says it isn’t hers. They both immediately assume Rosie is up the duff. They wonder if it’s Stape’s…or maybe Gary’s. Kevin goes to drag Rosie out of bed. Kevin asks Rosie point-blank why she’s feeling so rough. Rosie assumes he’s pissed because she’s hungover. Sally shows Rosie the pregnancy test. She denies it’s hers. “Must be!” Kevin asserts. “You do have two daughters,” Rosie reminds him. “It must be sweet little Sophie’s….how hilarious is that.”
Backed into a Corner?
Gail and Tina are in the Platt kitchen. Gail has decided to wash windows to keep busy because Joe is still being a dork. Tina says when Joe gets his head together, he’ll be back. He’s done this before, even to his ex-wife. Tina tells Gail that David is going to the police. Once Gail has gone outside, Tina rings Joe. Anna WIndass comes up as Gail is washing windows; she says Gail must be glad to see the tail end of Joe and he’s a bit of a bad lad. Gail retorts that it’s Gary and Len who stole the copper pipe. She says David is going to the police.
Tina shows up at Joe’s storage locker. He is sitting alone in the dark. Tina’s says she’s not leaving until Joe lets her in. He’s looking rough and unwashed. Tina explains that David is going to the police, so Joe is off the hook for the pipe robbery. He says he feels overwhelmed, and everything is on top of him. Tina says that Gail is worried, and she deserves better. Joe should be with his family. Tina finally urges him into his coat by saying that if Joe is staying, Tina is, too. I think Joe suffers from depression, myself.
In Other News
Ken and Deirdre chat as Ken works in the Cafe. Apparently Peter has gone on a bender while away, as confirmed by grandson Adam.
Eddie sits with Kirk and Bill, sorting out the darts team. With the addition of Kirk, they now have a full team.