Kirsty MacColl – Don’t Come the Cowboy with Me, Sonny Jim.
Original airdate: January 28, 2009
Maria tells Audrey that if she had gone through with her plan of driving over Tony, it would have been worth it if only tell the court what Tony did to Liam and Jed. Meanwhile, DC Taggart* is trying to get a statement out of Tony who seems reluctant to give it. She reminds Tony that without it, they can’t charge Maria with a crime. She wonders if something is going oon but Tony claims he doesn’t remember the incident.
*Ok I know her name is not Taggart but for some reason she puts me in mind of the Glaswegian police drama “Taggart” with its popular catchphrase: “THUR’S BIN A MUHRDUHR!“
Carla wonders why Tony won’t press charges against Maria but he claims it’s psychiatric help she needs, not prison.
DC Taggart later tells Maria that if Tony is unable to remember anything, the matter will go nae further but suggests that it may be a good idea to steer clear of Mr. and Mrs. Gordon.
Maria takes this all under advisement until she she sees Tony.
“What are you up to Tony?” she cries, “can’t risk me standing in court telling the world what a murderer you are?” So, keeping a low profile is out then.
Carla lunges at Maria but Tony holds her back. telling her he’ll sort it.
Later, Tony arrives in his car, with Jed Stone in the passenger seat. He tells Jed to remember what they discussed and, oh, keep your scarf so they won’t see where I strangled you to near-death. He then calls Fizz and asks her to bring Maria to the pub.
Jed, wearing nice new clothing, arrives at Emily’s at tells her that he’s been living in Wigan. Emily gives him his cap back, as well as Sunny Jim.
Meanwhile Tony has Carla, Maria, and Fizz in the Rovers and is trying to get them to stay when Jed and Emily arrive. Everyone is surprised to see Jed and even Rita had begun to wonder if the rumours were true.
“Here I am, large as life and twice as ugly!” Jed proclaims.
“Biggest comeback since Lazarus,” says a smiling Tony.
Maria is shocked.
“He told me that he’d killed you!” she says. Jed tells her that she got the wrong end of the stick and he and Tony worked out their differences. Maria accuses Tony of buying Jed off which, like all her accusations, is completely on the nose but she still comes off as unbalanced. She rushes out.
Meanwhile Jed tells Emily how his new place in Wigan shows how generous Tony really is, even if Wigan is far from Weatherfield. I once changed trains in Wigan. I remember it as … a town in the Northwest of England. Here are some photos. Ah, the lush romance of British rail travel.
Back at her place, Maria is comfort-cleaning (like comfort-eating, but not as fun) telling Fizz how foolish she feels. Fizz tells her to put this business behind her and everyone will be happy to have the old Maria back.
Back at the Rovers Carla thinks the whole thing was odd as Tony never told her anything about Jed and this generosity is so unlike him.
Back in the pub, Carla still wants to know why Tony never told her anything about Jed, and such generosity is not like him. As he goes to the bathroom, he calls a cab to Wigan.
Outside, he rushes Jed and Sunny Jim into a cab and tells him if he sees him, or his cat, in Weatherfield again it’ll be the last thing he does.
“I don’t want to ever come back here!” says Jed, perhaps out of a sense of shame and anger that he allowed himself to be bought off.
“Good!” Tony says as he slams the taxi door. Unknown to him, Carla is behind him and has heard the whole conversation.
IN OTHER NEWS
David’s mad at Tina for believing Gary Windass over him about the copper pipe theft so he goes to Kevin to tell him that Gary’s been saying ungentlemanly things about Rosie so Kevin goes to Gary and tells him he’ll put Gary’s head through the Kabin window if he doesn’t step off.
Ted’s back and hanging out with Ken. Ken is being coy about the reason for his newfound positive outlook on life while Ted just continues to be awesome.
Janice is still doing community service and seems to have a love interest over there.
Blanche and Leanne are becoming fast friends.
Mary won a camper van in a contest she entered with Norris so you know what THAT means. No, I don’t either but it’s nice for them.