Does This Mean I’m Sleeping On The Couch?
“Privacy,” Tony smoothly explains when Carla asks why he has locked them both inside Underworld. “There’s no need to lock us in,” Carla tells him. Tony explains that he’s locking “them” out, meaning the factory girls.
“You,” Tony accuses, “have been asking questions.”
“I have an inquisitive nature,” Carla counters smoothly. Tony says that he is her husband, and if she wants to know anything, she’s to ask him. He further says he senses she is scared of him, and asks why. “I’m not,” Carla says. And she has a million questions to ask him.
“Twenty questions, your turn,” opens Tony. Carla wants to know if he bullied Jed Stone into intensive care. Tony is still being smoothy-oozy and lying. He says he doesn’t know why she’s worrying her pretty little head about Jed. Carla takes umbrage at this; not only that but she flatly disbelieves Tony’s version of Jed Stone’s “attempted suicide”. Tony says Stone is nobody. Carla says that can’t be – Tony has chucked a flat at him…he’s a VIP. She says Tony deserves an Oscar for his liar’s performance. She then gets to the core of her agenda: if Tony lied about Jed, then perhaps he lied about something big…the biggest of all…and maybe poor Maria is not deluded after all.
Carla and Tony have made a cup of tea. The subject is now Liam. “I know you were jealous of him,” Carla begins. “Even though he was just a jumped-up market boy, and here you are with your platinum credit card.”
“I did not feel threatened by that pasty no-mark,” Tony becomes defensive and his cool starts to slip.
“Oh not now, of course, now that he’s out of the way,” Carla notices Tony seems rattled. She doesn’t buy that the best-man request was genuine – she thinks it’s a case of keeping one’s friends close and one’s enemies closer.
“Me and Liam,” Carla warms to her subject, “You knew it weren’t over. It’ll never be over. I’ll always have feelings for him, especially now he’s dead. See what you’ve done – you made me love him even more.”
Tony paces menacingly behind Carla. “Of course I knew. I’m not a fool, I’m not blind.”
“So you killed him.”
“I accepted it. Maybe I’m a mug, but I thought it’d fizzle out.”
“I loved him Tony. I loved him more than I’ve ever loved you. He tasted better, he walked better, talked better, he was better in bed than you.”
“I knew it would be about sex,” he says. “So, was it love, or lust? Get your stories straight.”
“You didn’t do it yourself, did you? Did you have a word in Jimmy’s ear?” Carla presses on.
Tony has begun to cry though his facial mask doesn’t change. He stalks away.
Carla goes after Tony, saying Liam was the love of her life, but Tony counters she just loved the subterfuge. “We even had subterfuge in my wedding dress,” Carla continues prodding and goading Tony toward her end game. “It were great.” She says that when she does it with Tony, she has to pretend he’s Liam.
“You’re making me sick!” Tony roars. “I’ll never be rid of him! He’s everywhere!”
There is some sort of cooling off period, after which Carla finds Tony sitting on the stairs leading up to the second floor. Carla says she is sorry. Sorry for bringing Liam up all the time. She says she’s not surprised Tony is upset. Tony remarks that Liam was the third person in their marriage…Camilla Parker-Bowles had nothing on Liam. Carla says as hard as it is, she needs to ask one or two more things. Having roughed up Tony, she has now switched to sweet and seductive. She says what she felt for Liam was just lust, and that she loves Tony. And that means she will forgive Tony anything. The wondering about Liam’s death is killing her. Tony says he wouldn’t harm a hair on Carla’s head. Carla asks if making Liam best man and all of Tony’s concern for Liam and Maria was an act…all lies. She pleads with him to tell the truth…“Sorry,” he finally manages, “I can’t lie any more. I killed him.” Tony confesses. “But I did it for you.”
Does This Mean I Can Call You Dad?
Steve shleps into the cab office, where Lloyd says he is writing down a cab address for him to pick up a fare. He has actually written ‘sorry’ on a piece of paper. He says he’s no good at saying it. He says that he is not casual about Liz, even though he may not know where things are going. He asks why Steve should deny his mother happiness…and that he, Lloyd, is a reasonable bloke, if he does say so himself. Steve agrees to have a few pints.
Steve and Lloyd are in the Rovers. Lloyd has an aside with Liz, who is pleased they seem to be getting along again. Lloyd tells her he is taking Steve out on the lash to forget Becky. The destination is a pickup bar called Fighting Cocks. Liz notes it’s a bit of a meat market (ya think????) but Lloyd assures her it’s for Steve’s sake.
So, Only Campfires Have To Be Hot and Bright At The Same Time.
In the Rovers, the gang is having a drink to celebrate their release from the factory, when Wicki gets a phonecall. Kelly figures the Gordons are having matrimonial domesticals.
Wicki is upset by the phonecall; apparently her mother has been taken ill.
“Where, in Poland?” Fiz wants to know. “No, the land of green ginger,” Wicki is unusually sarcastic, but then says, “Yes, Poland”. And with that she says her goodbyes and goes off to have her baby see her mother.
Julie wanders over to the bar, where Eileen and Janice are having a drink. Blance and Ted are on hand, too. Julie says she can see where Jason got his good looks; he’s like that bloke out of Wuthering Heights. Janice wants to offer the name of the singer who penned a tune by same name: “Kate Nash,” she brays.
“Bush,” Ted corrects her. Julie continues on about Jason, saying he’s swarthy and rugged.
“So how’s your mom?” Eileen asks.
“Dead,” replies Blanche. Apparently Eileen means Julie. Julie’s says her mom is fine; but is somewhat evasive about why her mom hasn’t called Eileen yet.
If You Have No Cake, I Have No Time For You.
Anna Windass ambushes Gail outside the medical centre on her break. She’s earned her drivers’ license and wants to have a little drive and a chat about Gary and David.
Anna and Gail park outside the jail of all places. Anna sees the visitors leaving and says she doesn’t know how she’ll get on if Gary is sent down. Gail gently reminds Anna that the issue is not her problem; she backs Tina and David. The conversation is a short one; Gail loses patience, leaves the car and hops a cab. Anna pleads with her not to go.
Len finds Anna sitting in the bus shelter in the pouring rain; she tells him the meeting with Gail went poorly. Just then, Tina and David walk by, Len follows them, taunting and yapping, not unlike his jackal nephew.