The factory girls are pressing Julie for the details on Tony but she’s vague, but will admit that everything was at “sixes and sevens”. When Tony comes in, he appears to look better, glowers at his staff and goes in the office to shut the door.
“What a difference a day makes,” Fizz sings.
Julie notes that it seems every situation has a song. There’s even one for when you leave your cake out in the rain. She follows Tony into the office and tells him that Kirk is worried about Maria, as today would have been her 1st wedding anniversary. She goes on, offering her little axioms as she does, leading Tony to ask, “Have you ever considered putting your pearls of wisdom to paper? You know, those little books you see by the till. Be your best friend. Give yourself a hug. I can see it now. A Stitch In Time: Julie Carp’s Compendium Of Cack!”
Anyway, Tony makes it clear that Carla is gone and not likely to come back until her EI runs out (or QPIP in Quebec).
Over at the salon, Audrey is warning to Natasha to be sensitive around Maria as it’s her anniversary. Maria counters that she’s fine, but Audrey tells her to take off at lunch and have some time to herself.
Later, Tony goes to the Rovers for a drink and ropes Jason into joining him and proceeds to get drunkenly maudlin. Fortunately, Jason is rescued by Becky who reminds him that they’re due at dinner at his mum’s.
At Maria’s Audrey is over as Maria packs up Liam’s collection of trendy t-shirts for the local Value Village. They have a heart to heart about the last year and agree that no matter what happened, Liam died as her husband and she’s carrying his baybeh.
Later, Maria is at Liam and baby Paul’s grave (the baby’s grave read “Born Asleep”, which is just about the saddest thing I’ve seen on TV in a long time – not counting the news, which is always sad).
Tony appears behind her and says he came to pay his respects. Maria ignores this intrusion into what would normally be a pretty intimate moment. She lays down a photo of the baby’s ultrasound scan. Tony begins to cry, saying today should have been a special day for Maria and Liam. If only he hadn’t had Liam killed.
Maria gives Tony a lift home and he tells her that if there is anything she needs, she need only ask. I’d say it’s clear that Tony’s nuts by now.
And I Don’t Think I Can Take It
Natasha arrives for her date with Steve and she looks quite fetching, I must say. Steve, on the other, is in the same fleece he wore at work all day, and asks her if she wants some takeaway. Their hot date consists of Steve eating Indian take-out and watching guy shows on TV. He passive-aggressive plan worked as Natasha declared that this was not a date and that she gets the picture. Oh well, she reckons, Steve is a bit old.
Meanwhile, Becky is back together with Jason but admits that he runs hot and cold and has no illusions about how long this is going to last.
Because It Took So Long To Bake It
Colin has invited Rita to dinner at Eileen’s. Norris wonders what kind of wine one serves with chicken nuggets (Answer: Chardonnay). The dinner goes well and Colin and Rita enjoy each other’s company but there is to be no post-dinner chicka bam bam as Rita does the papers in the morning.
Meanwhile, Mary asks Norris if he would still consider going on the cruise with him but he turns her down because
he is so very, very gay he has a dentist appointment. Mary leaves in tears. Seriously I don’t know what his problem is.
Julie thinks that if Jason lived in Pennsylvania, he’d be Amish Beefcake.
And I’ll Never Get The Recipe Again
Tina, Joe, and David are reviewing the security camera footage (which is held on some kind of rectangular box. I guess Dev’s hard drive is broken) and agree that Len does nothing incriminating on it. Later Gary comes up to Tina and apologizes for his uncle’s behaviour. Tina reminds him that it was still he who put David in the hospital. “Bah, he’s a drama queen,” Gary scoffs. “Real men suffer in silence.” And steal copper pipes, apparently.
I just want to sat that these things are hard to write during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. And every time Heidi Klum says “Angel Boot Camp”, I hear “Angel Boob Camp” because I am, and always shall be, 12.