As 2009 winds to a close, here is the final episode recap of the year…hoping 2010 is fab for one and all.
We open…and the camera pans up….way up….across the mountainous pale pink froth that is Becky’s wedding dress.
It is a princess dress, of the sort little girls draw with their markers. It is beautiful in the same way a Carousel or Cinderella’s coach is.
Natasha has turned up at Hailey’s to do Becky’s hair. They share a cup of tea. Hailey is worried that Becky was put off by the scene in the pub the previous evening, but Becky assures her it’s nothing compared to marrying a thrice-wed man on Friday Firteenth. Natasha has packed a bottle of brandy in her hair kit and Becky asks for a double. Roy interrupts the gal-party with some champagne that Steve has sent over. Roy suggests the fridge, but Becky cracks it open.
Hailey does Becky’s nails, having sent Natasha for butties as she wants a private word. She wants to know if Becky is sure. Becky explains that she accepted Jason’s proposal out of gratitude, but Steve’s out of love. She thanks Hailey for everything, and says that without Roy and Hailey, she’d still be living hopelessly...”I were the muck on people’s shoes.” Hailey cries and says she’s proud of Becky. Natasha returns with butties…and more champagne. This bottle is from Liz. Becky says Liz can stick the bottle…once it’s empty.
Over at the Rover’s, Liz is giving Steve shit for brushing Amy’s hair badly. Amy, princessy-pink, stands mutely on a chair. Liz offers to take over. Steve agrees but says it changes nothing – neither she, nor Lloyd, who has just popped in, are invited to the wedding. Lloyd says Steve is denying his mom the chance to be there. “Get it into your thick heads,” says Steve, “I love Becky. You hurt her, you hurt me.” He takes Amy, who delivers a wooden “bye!”
“How can he do this to me?” Liz complains, seeming to forget that she’s been spitting battery acid on the bride-to-be for weeks. She and Lloyd ponder crashing the wedding. Lloyd suggests that since there is no planned reception, perhaps an invitation back to the Rovers would be seen as an olive branch.
Natasha is walking Becky over to the salon for her makeup. Her hair has now been marshalled into the world’s largest Bumpit, and encased in a netted tiara. Becky…the 80’s called, and they want The B52’s back…..Blanche meets Becky in the street and does a bit of simpering about wanting to be invited to the wedding to see Amy robotically move around the room like a cordless vacuum. Despite Blanche’s gift of a bottle of cider, Becky says no chance.
Just then, Steve emerges from the pub and Becky galoomphs into the builders yard, like a runaway meringue. A bizarre, static moment occurs between herself in frothy pink, and Jason Grimshaw as an alien in a black welder’s helmet. He removes this, looking both confused and wary at the sight of the pink mound from which Becky’s bony torso and arms protrude.
He wants to know if her presence is a sick joke. She says that he knows her better than that. He says she broke his heart, but Becky counters that she did them both a favour – they’d only have ended up hurting each other more, because Jason’s not Steve and Becky’s not Sarah. She does say she is very sorry, and offers to drink the bottle of cider with him. They chatter as they sit on the steel stairs with the bottle. Jason wants to know what Becky sees in Steve. She explains it’s how she feels. Jason is sorry she never felt that way around him. Jason concedes that probably Sarah was the one, and he blew it. Roy comes by, looking for Becky. In her haste, she rises, tearing a huge swath of the dress’s netting. Roy brings Becky back to the Cafe, where Hailey bustles her upstairs to fix the rip.
Meanwhile, at the church, Steve has encountered a very snide, sarcastic officiant, who complains that he’d rather be out on his boat than performing the wedding, since they are normally closed on Friday Firteenth. The minister goes on to divulge all manner of horrors that have befallen other couples on the fateful day. He wonders if Steve is having second thoughts about the unlucky day. “Well,” he warns, “your funeral.”
Becky has yet to turn up at the church, and the officiant is blathering on to Steve about his boating adventures. “In every englishman,” he extolls, “there lurks a bit of Drake.” He then rhymes off a fatalistic checklist of all the things that will probably go wrong for Steve. Steve sits alone, checks his watch and waits.
THE MONEY TREE
Uncle Umed, Dev and Tara are in Dev’s, where Tara pours over lighting catalogues for her gallery. She is sparing no expense with the gallery fittings it would seem, while Dev picks up the tab. Dev gently suggests that she’s being imprudent with the money. Umed exits so they can talk. Tara tells Dev not to patronize; and points out that Uncle Umed keeps taking cigars from the store without paying.
When Tara leaves, Uncle Umet waddles back in and Dev asks what his issue with Tara is. In a nutshell, Uncle Umet says that when a beautiful woman is on one’s arm, the expenses start. Dev says that since Tara is apparently going to bleed him dry, customers ought to pay for their cigars. When Tara comes back, she excitedly announces that she’s already purchased five pictures from a student photographer. The artist, apparently is “struggling”. Dev is made admittedly nervous by Tara’s lack of caution.
THE SAD BLANKET
Audrey shows up at Gail’s with some muddy-looking lowlights in her hair, eager to sermonize to Gail about another failed choice of boyfriend. Gail defends Joe, which pisses Audrey off and she scolds her daughter further. “He suffers from depression,” Gail explains.
Later, Gail finds herself for the first time at the lockup. She locates Joe, alone on his cot, under an old afghan, immobilized with anxiety. She peels back the blanket and gently touches his head.